j'lynn's world

It May Be The Shortest One, But It Always Feels Like The Longest One

2012-02-01T20:26:00.000-05:00

The month of February is usually always so gloomy and even though it is the shortest month of the year the usual cold, wet, dreary days seem to make it feel like the longest month of the year!

Today was different though...it was in the high 40's & sunny today! Shocking I know...

However, my internal clock seems to be set for the dreary, cold, wet days of February, because this week I've been unable to get out of bed. Monday the munchkin & I stayed home for the day. Then Tuesday I shut my alarm off and almost bounced my monthly car insurance withdrawal and again today I overslept again. Hell, I was in the bed by 9pm last night so I have no clue why I couldn't seem to get my ass out of bed this morning.

I keep hoping some day I will get my shit together, but this month is going to be a serious challenge! Maybe my girl Legally Fabulous will help motivate me...

A Screeching Halt

2012-01-29T20:15:00.000-05:00

All of my cooking, motivation...everything came to a screeching halt last week.

First the munchkin wound up with strep throat and then late last week I wound up with a little nasty cold. To say I'm behind the 8-ball now is an understatement. I was suppose to write a case eval statement today, but that didn't happen. Instead I took a wonderful 2 hour nap!

Of course I'll "pay" for my weekend all week, but that has not been enough to get me motivated to do anything tonight. Honestly, I'm just bidding my time to get back in the bed.

How was your weekend?

Cooking Up A Storm

2012-01-23T22:14:00.000-05:00

As you well know I am not the domestic type; however, I've had the desire to cook lately so I decided to make some of my favorite winter dishes this week.

So far, I've made a very yummy chili! I'm not the best chili cooker and would never enter a chili cook-off and I'm very envious of those that can do chili. I was so hungry for homemade chili though and the munchkin just loves it. So I ended up putting like 3 recipes for chili together and viola! Yum, yum, yum!! I made an entire slow-cooker full and we are down to just a little bit left! The munchkin always asks for seconds of chili and finally he asked for seconds of my chili!

Tomorrow I'm going to put stuffed green peppers over before I leave for work and then sloppy joes are on the horizon for later in the week! Since my son will not be into the stuffed green peppers I figure the first night or two he can have the rest of the chili and if push comes to shove I will fix him some hot dogs, which are his favorites!

A few weeks ago I made the best bean soup I've made in a long time! So I'm not sure what has gotten into me, but I'll ride this for as long as it takes me!

What are you cooking these winter months?

Productivity Stolen By Strep

2012-01-22T21:06:00.000-05:00

I had hoped to get lots accomplished last weekend and this weekend as well, but that hasn't happened for various reasons. This weekend I had this wonderful plan and was very motivated too....this is usually a recipe for success!

There is one thing that can derail my success and that started Thursday night when I returned from seeing my honey...my munchkin complained that his throat hurt. He had no fever and no spots in his throat. After a night of sleep I reexamined the munchkin who was still complaining of a sore throat, but everything remained the same so off to school he went.

After school and after work on Friday we opted to skip karate since the munchkin was still complaining of a sore throat and a general complaint of feeling "like crap." (His words, not mine!) Plus he was looking a little rougher then he was that morning. On top of all of that, a snow storm was kicking up too. So off to the grocery store we went, ran a couple of errands, and instead of arriving at home after 9pm as we would have by going to karate, we arrived home at 7pm with an inch of snow already on the ground.

Luckily I had called Friday night and made a doctor's appointment for Saturday afternoon, because Saturday morning when we were suppose to be running additional errands I was feeding motrin to the munchkin for his fever, which developed over night. So needless to say our weekend has been filled with lots of medicine (thanks to the diagnosis of strep throat), snow, and not much else.

The good thing, so far, is that my throat feels fine so as long as the munchkin can overcome this and I can remain healthy I'll gladly give up my productivity over my weekend!

Ironic

2012-01-16T05:00:00.001-05:00

In an effort to clean out some of the clutter that I've accumulated over the last 6 years with going to school, taking the bar, etc. I've been going through a very large stack of old magazines that I never had an opportunity to read.

Last night as I was going through some of them I found the following Article written by George Hodak in the April, 2011 ABA Journal:

April 4, 1968: Martin Luther King Assassinated

On March 28, 1968, Martin Luther King Jr. arrived in Memphis to lead a march in support of 1,300 striking sanitation workers. But the protest was quickly aborted after several youths broke ranks and smashed storefront windows along Beale Street. By nightfall, 4,000 National Guardsmen had been called in to enforce a curfew.

The day's events left King embarrassed and dispirited, but he resolved to return and lead a peaceful march, determined to prove that his nonviolent strategy remained viable. King flew from Atlanta to Memphis on April 3, his flight delayed by a bomb threat.

He was served a temporary restraining order that afternoon; that evening he addressed a rally at Mason Temple. He spoke with anguished eloquence about the rights being denied the striking workers and, on a wider level, of the need to "develop a kind of dangerous unselfishness." He also spoke of his own death: "Like anybody, I would like to lead a long life--longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now." At 6 p.m. the following evening, King was felled by a sniper's bullet as he stood on the second-floor balcony of the Lorraine Motel. He was 39 years old.

Today we take time out of our lives to celebrate the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. and to reflect on Dr. King's movement and his dream, which we still struggle to achieve in 2012.

I just found it ironic that the night before I would come across this particular magazine with this particular article out of all of the magazines I have in my pile...

It Is A Party Weekend!

2012-01-15T11:21:00.000-05:00

This weekend was scheduled to be quite the party weekend. Friday night was Chica's birthday party at a local bar & bowling ally. I was so honored to be invited and put it in my calendar. Last night was our 1st Quarter Team Party at the Big Guy (a/k/a the boss)'s house.

I had hoped that this weekend would be so eventful, especially since it is a 3 day holiday weekend. This always leads me to develop some big plans of all the things I'm going to do and accomplish! This list usually ends up much longer than time allows to accomplish.

But...Thursday night I could barely keep my eyes open while driving home during the start of a little snow storm from seeing my guy. I'm sure the fact that I had been up since 3:30am had something to do with that. Combine that continued tiredness and the fact that the snow storm was still going when the munchkin and I arrived home after Karate Friday night I opted out of attending Chica's Bar Birthday Party. I felt bad, but by Friday night I'm exhausted y'all!!

Our team party was set to start at 3:00pm Saturday afternoon. Of course I was an hour and a half late. Opps! As usual, I did not want to go, but had a great time once I was there and stayed over 2 hours longer than I had planned. Yes, every time these plans and events come up I'm all like "I'm not doing this; this is the last one; etc." but in the end I am usually glad I have attended.

It may have been the alcohol I consumed at the party, but while it was still snowing (yes, the same little snow storm that had been going since Thursday night!) I saw a Kroger's and decided to do 98% of my grocery shopping at 10:30pm on my way home from the team party! I do not know whether it was the hauling of the cases of Diet Coke or vegetables, but by the time I had everything hauled in my lower back was killing me...I blame this on the alcohol too.

After the necessaries were put in the refrigerator, I watched a little TV and then hauled myself to bed early this morning just so I could wake up 5 hours later unable to go back to sleep, which seems to be a pattern here of late, but that is a story for another post!

It Has Been A Long, Long Time~~Some Things Change, Some Things Stay The Same

2012-01-09T23:10:00.000-05:00

I know it has been a while...a little over 3 months, but I thought I would try to make my way back. I had hoped that I would start blogging again on New Year's Day, but that didn't happen...opps! A lot has been going on over here in my world. So many things change and yet so many things remain the same!

There have been lots of changes with my family in the last couple of months...some for the good, some for the not so good. Such is life... More on that another day.

Work has gotten crazy. I now have 370 files. Yes, you read that correct....370 files. 50 of those are litigation files, 20 of them are what we call "subrogation" files but 7 of those I have filed suit on, and the remaining 30 I'm monitoring other attorneys and their work and serving as the "client". To say that I am busy is an understatement!!

Being that busy at work has lead to severe stress, which has lead to tears on more than one occasion. This may or may not have happened a few times in my office without witnesses, once with a witness, and once in my boss's office. I know this isn't suppose to happen, but what is a girl to do when with less than 6 months into her practice she is given 370 files. Seriously?! I know...don't be such a girl. Whatever!!

I'm trying my best to handle the work stress. Some days are better than others...

So what's new in your life in the last 3+ months?!

The 10th Month Of The Year~~Welcome?!

2011-10-01T22:17:00.002-04:00

Hello October!! I cannot believe it is already the 10th month of this year. It is sort of mind blowing, if you ask me! The summer went by so fast and here we are starting the last quarter of 2011...

I have conflicted feelings welcoming October... It is my birthday month and I love that fact, but I hate the idea of being just days away from that half way point to my 40's. Since I'm eager to get to November 7th when my co-worker returns from her maternity leave so she can take her files back. Of course she came to the office Thursday to wish her retiring secretary well and I announced to our team that upon her return to the office I would be getting knocked up as pay back and to get a full 12 weeks off. LOL But the idea that time is going so fast makes me sad that October is already here.

Regardless, I can't change the calendar and I guess I'll welcome October the best way I can. Which reminds me...I need to go and change our calendars! Opps!!

Sick Of Feeling So Sick & Tired...

2011-09-25T21:09:00.003-04:00

Last night I just couldn't keep my eyes open and I found myself in the bed at 9:00pm. Pathetic really...in the bed at 9pm on a Saturday night. I woke up a little before 6am and just couldn't bring myself to get up, so I slept another 2 hours. It was wonderful, I won't lie.

This afternoon the munchkin went skating and then we did a little more grocery shopping and came home. I finished laundry, but haven't put it away yet. That likely won't happen till tomorrow. I just don't seem to have much energy or desire to get things done lately. I'm not sure what the problem is...am I dehydrated?...have an infection?...just lazy?...stressed?

All I know is that I am not feeling 100%...and that needs to change!

$3.17/Gallon

2011-09-24T20:02:00.004-04:00

That is how much I paid for gas tonight and I was beyond giddy! I just hope it sticks around for a while!

The munchkin had another soccer game this afternoon and he played great. They won!! His coach cracks me up, because he gets so riled up! He is just a kid himself...maybe 19...but has a lot of passion for the game, which is great for the boys.

After the game we headed up to Sam's Club and did a little shopping. I'm not sure what all we really purchased, but my bill was over $200. That always blows my mind! How can a cart, not full, reach $200, let alone go over that amount?! Well, we did buy 2 movies and a book too, but seriously?! How much does cereal, fruit by the foot, tons of mac 'n cheese, pizza rolls, soap, and frozen PB&J sandwiches really cost?! Oh well...it is what it is and we just keep paying the bills and moving forward. Some day I will figure out a way to save some money...

Hello?? Anybody Out There???

2011-09-23T20:21:00.003-04:00

It has been quite some time since I've blogged, obviously. I've been so busy I feel like I barely have time to breathe, let alone do anything like draft a blog entry, write out bills, communicate with anyone, or do anything else I should be doing.

For the last 4 weeks I've been handling my own case load, which grows every single day, along with a co-worker's case load while she is off on maternity leave. The most suckiest thing about working someone else's files is not knowing anything about the damn case. And it isn't like I have the time to review her 107 files along with my 60+ files. Seriously people, what to expect of someone who has only been practicing 3 months?!? But I keep plugging along...what else can I do?!

Needless to say I've been exhausted over the last month or so and it probably doesn't help that I got knocked down with one heck of a sinus infection, which I believe I still have. This afternoon I made a deal with my boss just so I could leave early...I agreed to handle 2 of the new files assigned to our team if only I could leave right then. It seemed like a great deal at the time. Yes, I probably could have left then regardless, but this way I didn't have to hear shit about it! I considered it a win for me!

I won't say I plan to be blogging on a regular basis again, because that doesn't seem to work out for me, but if anybody is still out there reading this...please know I'm alive and think of blogging all the time...I just need more time to get to it.

We Are Orange Today!

2011-08-14T02:21:00.003-04:00

And no, I'm not talking about resembling the cast of Jersey Shore with the exception of Vinnie, of course!

Today was the munchkin's karate test and he passed moving from being a gold belt to being an orange belt. I am so proud of him. It is such hard work and he keeps doing it, week after week. He continues to blossom in martial arts and excel!

Keep up the great work baby! I'm so proud of you! I love you soooo...much! Muah!!!

Never My Intention

2011-08-14T01:31:00.004-04:00

It was never my intention to blog on August 1st and not to return until 13 days later, but I've been crazy busy and pretty exhausted. My apologies to the few readers I have left. Hope you will bear with me while I continue to work through this whole new phase in my life! It will get better. I promise!

For the last five years or so I've been blessed or should I say spoiled by being able to have someone come and clean our home. Well, those good times have came to an end. I can no longer afford it nor can I justify it. So tonight I embarked on this new adventure of cleaning my own house. I'm not finished and I move really slow. Probably since I hate it so much, I'm sure. Plus I end up taking a lot of breaks. Once I put the clean sheets on my bed and vacuum I will be done with our 2 bedrooms, the munchkin's playroom and our one and only hallway, leaving the 2 bathrooms, the living room and the kitchen. Of course the last room that I will tackle is my bathroom, because it just grosses me out to clean it. Blah!!

I'm sure this whole cleaning process would be easier in my life if I would have learned how to clean when I was younger. When I was growing up my mom did not work outside of the house the majority of the time, so she did all of our cleaning while we were at school and our dad was at work. So I never even had the opportunity to watch how she cleaned or to do it with her either. We also never had chores assigned to us either, so outside of cleaning my bedroom because I was anal even as a child I did not learn how to clean and manage a home until after I was married and in my 20's and after taking a five-year break I feel like I'm having to learn it all over again.

Since this is posting close to 2am Saturday night/Sunday morning, please don't think I've been trying cleaning all day and night. I didn't even start this process until after 10:00pm tonight and I've also watched some TV in between too! LOL I multi-task during cleaning, but probably not in the best way.

I Just Can't Welcome You, I'm Sorry, It Isn't Personal

2011-08-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

August. I just cannot welcome the month of August. I don't know why... Maybe I'm still a kid at heart, knowing the school year is just around the corner, or it is because I'm no longer a kid and I feel like I'm cheated out of summer...but I just cannot welcome August.

Where did the summer go?! The last two months have went fast and furious. Maybe it was because I'm officially done with school, hopefully for the rest of my life! Or maybe it was because I graduated, fought to get my new job, and we were crazy busy over the last two months. I don't know. All I do know is that I feel like June and July flew by in the blink of an eye.

Even though this will likely be the hottest month of the summer, and we will be seeing "Back To School" sales every where we turn I am hopeful that this month takes a little longer to get through than the last two did.

So August, I may not be able to welcome you I sure hope you stick around a while...

It Is Almost That Time Again

2011-07-25T05:09:00.001-04:00

Twice a year it comes around...February and July. Yes, people I'm talking about taking the Bar. It is a horrible time. There is no reason behind who will pass and who will not. There is no "you should have studied more" either, because that doesn't have shit to do with it. It is a gamble...some win and some lose. Regardless...this Tuesday, Wednesday, and for some even Thursday people all over the country will be sitting down to take the Bar. I wish you all luck!!! Kick ass and make that test your bitch!

And remember...in just a few days it will be all over and God willing you won't be doing this again come February, but if you are...so be it! You will make it through one way or another.

Good luck to all my law school, twitter, & blog peeps with the bar!!!

Where Does It All Go?

2011-07-24T12:18:00.002-04:00

Money that is...

How is it possible that I get paid on Thursday and by Sunday after writing out bills due during this pay period I am broke?! And I don't mean like I only have a hundred dollars broke...I mean as in my account balance is in the negative already and that doesn't account for gas for the next two weeks or any of the appointments the munchkin and I have in the next two weeks.

Needless to say I don't pray for strength these two weeks, I'm praying for some cash!

We Will Call Him Bubba

2011-07-23T20:34:00.003-04:00

While I was off studying for the bar at the beginning of the year my office hired a friend of mine from law school who graduated a semester before me and passed the bar last year. I was a little shocked because he did not seem the type of guy who would want to work where I worked. He is a nice guy, but never came off as a hard worker while we were in law school. When the two of us realized that he was going to be working there he was much more excited about the prospect of us working together.

Bubba started mid-March and started off on the wrong foot from day one. Of course for the first 3.5 months he worked there I was still a paralegal there, but now we are equals as attorneys and are even assigned to the same team.

Our office is always under the watchful eyes of our General Counsel and the powers that be in our company, but in the last 2 months we have been under the gun thanks to some bad press, so to speak. I've always been cautious about how I perform in my job, because I know how the politics work there and now that I'm an attorney there with the extra attention the office has received I'm even more aware of what I need to do and have became even more neurotic about my files.

As anyone knows, especially anyone who works in the legal field, defaults are huge and pretty damn scary. So the fact that Bubba has received about 5 in the last 4 months is just mind blowing to me! And the more things he misses or blows makes me even more on edge. So needless to say when I didn't go to lunch with him, other members of our team and others from the office yesterday because I had too much work to do sounded like a smart decision to me, because I had no desire to bring work home to do this weekend.

While I was talking to Bubba before he left for lunch I mentioned that if not for the munchkin I would probably be a workaholic. So needless to say I was shocked when Bubba told me I needed to not be so uptight about work and inquired if I had any hobbies!! Um, dude...maybe you need to get more uptight about work!

Maybe I shouldn't have been offended by his comment and question, but I was! Maybe I'm going about this whole being a new attorney thing wrong, but where we practice it is a small legal community and since I don't plan on being at my office forever I want a strong reputation out there.

And by the way Bubba, I do have a hobby, along with a kid, and a home to run.

Confessions...

2011-07-17T17:07:00.004-04:00

Today I must confess a few things...

I confess today that I am not a camper. I've never had a desire to camp or even the small thought of 'Oh, maybe that would be fun. Let's try that.' Like as in NEVER! I don't enjoy being outside at night, sleeping, nor do I enjoy being cramped into a tiny space with no protection other than some flimsy material between me and the outside elements, which in my mind include weather, animals, and other people. But I do love my son, so last night we went camping...

As a part of the munchkin's cubscout pack, we went to our local farm team (baseball folks!) to do a sleepover. First we arrived there early enough so the kids could line up and partake in a little cubscout's parade on the field before the game. Then we were to settle into a whole baseball game. This is always fun with a child diagnosed with ADHD! Especially a 9 year old boy who is there with five other 9 year old boys. At one point I thought if I hear "Hey guys, he has 3 balls!!" one more time I was going to pop off with, "We all get it...he has 3 balls instead of 2, it was only funny the first 3 innings!"

After the game some of us moms trekked out to the cars to grab the camping gear. This was super fun for me since the shoulder strap on the bag that my parents' tent was in snapped within 10 feet from my car. Always extra special! Luckily the only dad who trekked out with us put my bag on top of their bag on wheels and hauled it in. Of course me and one other mom were at the end of our group coming back into the stadium and were stopped to be told that we couldn't re-enter until the fireworks display happened. It was irrelevant to them that our children were inside waiting for our return or the fact that the rest of our group had made it in. So instead we stood, out on the street, while the fireworks happened and the non sleep-over folks left before we could reenter.

Once we were allowed to reenter, we made our way back to the group and waited until they cleared the field so we could go in the outfield and set up our tents. And by setting up our tent that meant me waiting for someone to feel sorry for me and come over and do it. It is extra special when you pull something out of a bag and ask, "Is this the tent?" Tents were set up and we were advised there were going to be 700 campers out there in the outfield for the night. Oh boy! What fun!! 698 other people plus me and the munchkin.

The lights were finally shut off at close to 1am and I was exhausted. I couldn't wait to go to sleep! But there were a few things that I hadn't considered or taken into account...

It was frickin' hot as hell out there! It had been hot all day and at game time, 7pm, the temp was 88 degrees and muggy. Being down in a stadium cut off a lot of the breeze and after being in the heat and humidity for over 7 hours, it is a bit unbearable because you have sweat your ass off and are just disgusting and sticky!
The parents' tent was the size of my kitchen table, which seats only 4 people!
Tons of cubscouts and their leaders, parents, and siblings equals a lot of noise...ALL NIGHT LONG!
Our wake up call was coming in less than 6 hours!

This leads to confession #2...I am old!!

Sleeping on the ground with only the same flimsy material between your body and the ground provides no protection down there either. And the thought that a sleeping bag will provide some cushion is a cruel joke. Needless to say after a couple hours of light sleeping I started to fear that I may not be able to stand up when our wake up call happened, let alone walk, or lift anything! This realization came at 3am and I had 4 more hours to discover if I would need to phone 911 to get my fat-ass out of the tent and out of that stadium!

At 6:30am I couldn't wait to get this "camping trip" over with. Of course the munchkin didn't sleep well either so we opted to get up, walk up to the restroom, and then come back and start packing up our "camp", which of course required me waiting for someone to help take down the tiny tent too! Then we sent the kids and the other moms upstairs to breakfast while the dads and I took all of our stuff out to our cars. Yes, I play both roles...mom & dad! I hobbled back to the stadium wishing I could just stay out at the car and the munchkin would come out when he was done eating, because I was going to have to walk up 4 flights of stairs with my sore back, sweat drenched clothes, and exhausted butt dragging to go and eat cold scrambled eggs, cold frozen pancakes, cold frozen hashbrowns, sausage links and bacon.

After coming home, laying down for about 2 hours, and taking motrin and while I sit here considering taking some of my pain pills from 2 months ago when I royally screwed up my back I am here to confess...I hate camping! I am damn old and no longer ashamed to admit it!

Freedom Day Set For July 17th, So People Get A Grip!

2011-07-16T15:07:00.003-04:00

As so many people know, tomorrow is Casey Anthony's day to leave jail and be free. Regardless of how you feel about what you think happened or didn't happen can we make one solemn promise? Let's not get stupid!!!

All of the idiots making death threats to her, her family, and defense team need to get a grip. If you think she did it, what makes you any better by threatening to kill her, her family, and her defense team??? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! If anything, it makes you worse. How does that sit with your God.

And after reading articles about my friend Legally Fabulous' professor being attacked twice while working this case has made me lose faith in people while this case makes my faith in the justice system even stronger...

Weigh-In Wednesday

2011-07-13T06:38:00.002-04:00

Things haven't been perfect over here in the healthy living department, but I'm doing better and that is all I can ask of myself these days. So here are the results...

Starting weight: 363lbs (7/9/09)

Current weight: 327.6lbs

This week's results: -2.8lbs

Total weight lost: -35.4lbs

So it isn't a lot, especially for that first week back back on the band wagon, but I'll take it!

A Down Side Of Growing Up

2011-07-11T22:27:00.003-04:00

Paying $125 to the exterminator for a new summer resident in the home...ants. Little tiny black bastards!! Isn't being a grown up fun?!

Guess It Really Is Time To Become A Real Grown Up!

2011-07-10T22:32:00.005-04:00

Three weeks ago tomorrow I started my first job as an attorney. Yes, even three weeks later, I'm still lost, confused, and scared to death. There really is a difference between playing attorney with your law school work and really being the one fully responsible for a real person's suit.

Of course my job is not in the area I long to work in, criminal defense, but it is still the defense side and it is a job. As we all know these days that is a big deal! Some day I will make that transition to the criminal area, but for now I'm getting my feet wet in the civil arena.

I guess this means that it is finally time I grow up and become a real adult. I'm not sure I'm ready for this part. You would think being 34 and a mom to a wonderful, although sometimes challenging, 9 year old munchkin that I would have already accomplished this, but I haven't. It feels totally different! Maybe it is also because now that I don't have the excuse of classes and homework I'm having to step up at home again too.

Both the munchkin and I are working through our adjustment period as I take a stronger lead at home (can you say "iron fist baby" because my son thinks that is how I rule!) and I adjust to being a real attorney. Some days are better than others. But we survive them all...together. So as long as I don't make any huge mistakes with the kid or get a default or blow that all famous statue of limitations we will make it as I work on this whole being a real grown up thing!

Of course it all scares the shit out of me every day!

There Is Always A First Time

2011-07-09T22:34:00.004-04:00

And today was the first time I've had my car cleaned on the inside since I bought her in 2009. Yes, she is over 2 years old and no one has been attentive enough to her to take a vacuum to her carpeting or anything. So today was the day.

After the munchkin accompanied me to the spa to get my facial and my unibrow/hairy lip & chin waxed off we went over to the car wash and for $10 they cleaned the inside and out! I ended up adding a couple of extra things to my car's own little spa day, so in total it cost me $16, but it was well worth it. I suspect that if I make a couple trips through there again over the next several weeks she may look as good as the day she came home to us.

So I guess there is always a first time for everything...even if it takes me a couple of years to get to it!

Jumping On The Band Wagon

2011-07-06T22:05:00.003-04:00

I decided this week was as good as any to start back on my healthy kick/lifestyle or attempted healthy kick/lifestyle. So taking from my fellow bloggers (hopefully they don't mind) I'm now declaring Wednesdays "Weigh-In Wednesdays" so without further adieu...

Starting weight: 363lbs (7/9/09)

Current weight: 330.4lbs

Results from the last 6 weeks: 0lbs

Total weight lost: -32.6lbs

So let's see how this works out for me in the coming weeks! Of course the fact that I just received an advertisement with coupons for a taco pizza in the mail tonight doesn't help me out here...

NOT GUILTY!!!

2011-07-05T23:52:00.002-04:00

Need I say more?! Jose Baez & his team came through for Casey Anthony. For all the shit talkers...guess he wasn't so bad after all, huh?!

Now it will be on to the hard stuff for Casey Anthony and her family. Hopefully she will be able to go on with her life and this allows little Caylee to finally rest in peace.

Happy Independence Day!!

2011-07-04T22:21:00.002-04:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July and a beautiful holiday, long weekend! I know we did. I got tons accomplished this weekend, which is exactly what I needed to do this weekend. We also had a wonderful family cookout over at mom & dad's yesterday, which is always nice.

I thought I would finally make my return to the blog on this Independence Day. Sorry I've been away so long, but the last several weeks have been a very trying time for me after I injured my back. Now I feel like I've finally came out on the other side and am doing so much better. Did you know Flexeril can make you border-line homicidal? Well, trust me...it can and it isn't pretty! After I finally figured out that my muscle relaxer was making me a much bigger bitch than normal I had to get off it immediately and then spend the next couple of weeks digging out of the dark hole I found myself in. But now I'm better & I'm back...Happy Independence Day for sure!

Not Going As Planned, But I'm Taking It One Day At A Time

2011-05-31T19:48:00.005-04:00

Since I haven't posted in over a week you can probably guess by now that my week did not go as planned last week. I actually made it through last Monday a little better than I thought I would... I didn't bum a smoke off from anyone, which is a huge surprise. I didn't stop and by any smokes or anything. I felt good about it all as I went to bed last Monday and prepared for the week ahead. Then Tuesday morning happened and life went to hell very quickly...

Last Tuesday morning I got up, got ready for work and in my final preparations of doing my hair I dropped a sheet of bobby pins, bent down to pick them up and then proceeded to brush my teeth. That is when I realized that I couldn't stand up straight. I had messed up my back, big time. Regardless I went to work. With the help of my aunt I got myself in the car with ice packs behind my back. Let me tell ya, going to work was not one of my brighter ideas.

Once I was at work I knew I was in trouble. I couldn't stand up, I couldn't walk. I couldn't move my legs without physically picking them up and moving them. I was in a bad way... Finally I left at 2pm and headed to the doctor who then sent me to the hospital for x-rays of my spine. By the time I got home after being twisted like a pretzel for my x-rays I wasn't sure if I could get out of the car and into the house. Going up my steps put me in more pain and by the time I was in the house I was sick to my stomach and in tears.

I spent the next several days in the bed, taking pain pills and muscle relaxers. I think by Saturday I was able to sit up for a few hours at a time and of course I had the family cookout planned for Sunday. Plus I needed to be ready to return to work today!

Sunday went off without a hitch. Or should I say not too big of a hitch...just a tornado warning at the end, which cleared everyone out of here in a jiffy! LOL Even though Monday was the actual holiday all I managed to accomplish was feeling sick as a dog and sore as could be. I still tried to take a moment to reflect and give thanks to those men and women who gave their lives for my freedom and I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day!!

I returned to work today and requested...er...demanded that my doctor order PT for me, because I remain in pain. Hopefully the pain disappears very soon. One good thing about being in bed for almost a week...you remain smoke free, so tonight is night #8 of being smoke free. As for the rest...I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Major Steps...Say A Little Prayer For Me, Would Ya?

2011-05-23T21:22:00.005-04:00

I know I've tried this before, but today I went smoke-less. I don't know how this will turn out, but so far I'm doing okay. I didn't really want to quit, but I feel like I should. So last night I took my last 10 smokes, broke them up, tossed them in the garbage and said, "enough!" So please keep me in your prayers and thoughts...primarily that I don't shank anyone during this time of transition!

In other areas of my life, I weighed in this morning and discovered that nothing has changed since the last time...

Starting weight: 363lbs (7/9/09)

Current weight: 330.4lbs

Results from the last 11 weeks: 0lbs

Total weight lost: -32.6lbs

So this is the next area of my life that I need to get on top of as well. With quitting smoking I'm not aiming to lose anything this week...I'm more just hoping to get through the week. I'll deal with the fall out afterwards as long as I'm successful with the quitting smoking thing!!

We All Deal With Stress Differently

2011-05-19T23:09:00.003-04:00

It has definitely been one hell of a long week and it is almost over.

I did find out today that I'm not the only one feeling the stress at work, because after this morning's seminar and having lunch alone (Dani had to cancel due to work...boo-hiss!) I went to the office and within being there a half an hour I received an email from one of the other paralegals expressing that she was so stressed that she went downstairs to buy chocolate and almost busted out in tears in the elevator. Within minutes after getting that email the other paralegal barged into my office and started hitting her head up against a file, literally. Gosh and I thought I was stressed. I guess I can count my blessings because I'm not on the verge of tears or beating myself with a file, yet. Of course I could shank a few people so maybe I express my stress in a much different manner and would rather someone else feel my frustration rather than myself...

Just A Few Things To Toss Out There

2011-05-18T21:01:00.004-04:00

Things are crazy at work right now for several reasons. But thanks to some of that craziness I had a very yummy lunch today and hopefully I will have an even better lunch tomorrow with Dani! Of course the location of where I was this afternoon and the same place I will be tomorrow, which yields me these yummy & fun lunches is a pain to get to and from. The expressway I would usually take is closed. So instead of my usual 45 minute commute on the expressway is much closer to an hour and a half on a side street...

The drive wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't raining, again. I've had it with this weather. It has rained so much that even on the days it doesn't rain there are puddles of water every where you go. The munchkin's soccer games and practice keeps getting canceled because the fields are too wet and too dangerous to be on. Why is it mother nature can't get it right? Spread the rain out to areas that need it instead of keeping it in the same place?!? Is it really that hard? Seriously?

Now with a killer headache, a crabby munchkin, and a bit of an upset stomach I'm calling it a night...

Another First In Being A Real Grown-Up.

2011-05-17T22:40:00.004-04:00

Tonight was a first for me, attending a fundraiser honoring two Judges. It was nice, but relatively boring since the only people I knew there were the folks I attended with and one other person from school. I knew a few of the Judges that were in the crowd, but since I don't have much experience in that field I don't know them well enough to chit-chat. Even though it had the makings of being a boring evening I was still glad I went and I hope that in the future I get to attend more of these things. Of course it would have been nice to be able to say, "I'm an attorney at [x, y, z]." Maybe next time I will!

Thanks to Prof. Arrogance for giving us the tickets and to my LSBFF for being there so we could suffer together. But next time let's eat...I was starving by the time I got home and my left over sour cream noodle bake just didn't cut it!

Being Back Feels Good

2011-05-16T21:57:00.004-04:00

I finally feel like I'm getting back on track.

Graduation is over. Bar is over. Swearing in is over.

Now it is time to get things back on track.

I've gotten caught up on my blog reading and emails and reading all of the things I had marked as favorites on twitter too! I have all of my filing caught up too.

Now I have two things that I need to get caught up on...writing out talking points for my guy's next hearing in less than a month and writing my guy a real letter, which I haven't done in months!! These are the little things I have to still do.

But being back feels good...

Happy Mother's Day!!

2011-05-08T22:24:00.002-04:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day today!! I know I sure did! It was beautiful out. We went to mass and then out to lunch. Then I came home, got lots of stuff done while my munchkin did his homework. Then he gave me the gift he made me...a coupon booklet full of hugs! Best present ever!!!

Now we wish you and yours a Happy Mother's Day!!

It Was An Honor, Thank You For Including Me

2011-05-06T23:38:00.003-04:00

Today I had the pleasure of being a spectator and photographer for my LSBFF's swearing in ceremony. I was so proud of all that she has accomplished and could totally relate to every emotion she was going through. It was a beautiful ceremony & I was totally honored to be there and to be a part of it.

Congratulations LSBFF!!! I'm so proud of you. Love you girl!

Not Much Has Changed

2011-05-01T21:50:00.001-04:00

Just because I've been sworn in not much has changed in my life. For instance, I had 3 things I wanted to accomplish this weekend and as it comes to a close I must report that I did not get any of it done.

It was quite a whirl-wind of a weekend. After Friday night ended and Saturday came about my weekend became all about the munchkin. First we went to karate and then originally we had soccer practice scheduled; however, the coach had to cancel due to a family illness. Instead we ran errands the majority of the afternoon. This included the grocery store, the pharmacy, the dry cleaners, the bank, the gas station, and even the doctor's office for my allergy shot. Then today it was a trip to the roller rink so the munchkin could burn off some energy!

Now it is time for bed as the munchkin's spring break ends and he returns to school tomorrow and I return to work as a sworn in attorney still working as a paralegal!

I'm hopeful that this week is a very productive week...

Time To Get Cooking!

2011-04-30T23:25:00.005-04:00

Apparently I've been bit by a shopping bug, but not the usual chick shopping bug. I've been bit by the grocery shopping bug.

I don't know what has sparked this, but I've been to the grocery shopping store twice today and I'm not even preparing any meals. I just can't seem to stay away and I keep buying more and more. I swear, if anyone looked in our cupboards and freezers you would think we were a family of seven, not two. We even have two full gallons and one partial gallon of milk.

Since we are so stocked I guess it is time to get cooking!

It Is Official

2011-04-29T23:11:00.001-04:00

Today has been an exciting day!! First I woke up really early this morning to catch some of The Royal Wedding. Did you watch? I thought it was beautiful and romantic and definitely at the level of a storybook fairy tail. I just adore both Duke & Duchess William & Kate! Even though I was up before the crack of dawn I was still a little late to work. Opps. I place the blame on the Royal Family. Ha!

For the first time this week I actually got a little work done today, but 20 minutes before I was scheduled to leave the big boss man came by and told me to leave so I could get ready for my swearing in. He didn't have to tell me twice. I closed up shop, called my boss and told her that her boss' boss told me I could go, and hit the road.

I got home and discovered my son was in a horrible mood and considered canceling my ceremony, but luckily he shaped up by the time we entered the courtroom. And within minutes with only one slip up I was officially sworn into the State Bar!! I was so nervous and very happy that it was finally done! So now it is official...I'm a real attorney! And through it all I was reminded of how great a life I really do have! I'm surrounded by the most loving and wonderful friends and families and am so grateful for each and everyone of them even if they do drive me crazy from time to time.

After the ceremony I definitely had a few drinks and by the time I got back in the car and looked in the mirror I realized that my eye makeup was practically half-way down my face. This is usually a sign that I've had a few drinks. Apparently the alcohol makes my mascara and eyeliner runny!! Now I'm home, exhausted and doing laundry. How quickly everything goes back to normal.

The Next Step Already?!?

2011-04-25T23:10:00.003-04:00

Apparently the next step in my life is getting sworn in so I can get my P# to practice. I would have thought I would have gotten one day off from questions, but I didn't. All conversations went as such, "Congratulations! When are you being sworn in?" Um, hello?!? I've known for a milli-second that I passed. Let me have a moment!

Of course the weather situation isn't helping either. Constant rain for the week isn't the weather I want when I'm going off to be sworn in. I know...priorities!

Happy Easter!!

2011-04-24T08:56:00.003-04:00

It is rainy & 46 degrees outside this Easter morning.

The eggs left for EB (a/k/a the Easter Bunny) to hide were white due to lack of participation by the munchkin who announced after dinner last night, "I'm tired. Mom, can you color the eggs?" I asked him if he thought it would be okay if EB just hid white eggs. He found that acceptable. I was happy too, because I was equally exhausted.

I had to get up early this morning to make sure EB hadn't skipped our house and get my carrots over to make honey glazed carrots! I figured I probably needed to start laundry too and get the house ready for Easter dinner. So at 7am I had my carrots over, I confirmed EB remembered our house, started laundry and started getting the house ready for our guests.

I hope everyone has a beautiful Easter today!!

PASSED!!!!

2011-04-23T00:36:00.002-04:00

Just a quick update... I got my bar results tonight and I passed!! Thank God.

Getting my results was an ordeal that I survived thanks to my LSBFF, my aunt, my munchkin, & my man! I love you guys! It is definitely post worthy, but not tonight!!!

Wishful Thinking...

2011-04-11T22:22:00.003-04:00

Forty-eight hours of silence. No calls, no emails, no people. Me, silence, a beach, and a never empty drink...that's it! Apparently this is too much to ask for!!

Recovering From Surgery One Day At A Time

2011-04-10T22:27:00.005-04:00

Each day I feel stronger and stronger. I'm definitely not back 100%, but I'm hoping by tomorrow I'll be up to leave the house, finally! Well since I have to pick the munchkin up from school tomorrow afternoon I guess I won't have much of a choice.

Of course I originally hoped that this weekend I would get tons accomplished while I was home recovering from my surgery and so far all I have accomplished is getting lots of sleep and ordering my graduation regalia. Everything else has stayed on the sidelines as I regain my strength. Yet again I over estimated my abilities, but taking vicodin has helped me cope.

Surviving Surgery

2011-04-09T21:05:00.003-04:00

A few years back my now former OB/GYN discovered a peri-ovarian cyst on my right side. It gave me no problems whatsoever. We monitored over the next couple of years and then almost a year ago he pushed me to have it removed, because the cyst was continuing to grow. With getting ready to enter my final semester in law school and then planning to go straight into studying for the bar I couldn't "fit" the surgery into my schedule, which pissed my former OB/GYN off, so I fired him and I scheduled an appointment with a new OB/GYN two days after finishing the bar.

My new OB/GYN did another ultrasound and discovered that the cyst was still growing and suggested that we go ahead and remove it. My surgery was scheduled for April 8th at 11:30am. So yesterday I went in for my surgery with the plan to drain and remove my cyst. By yesterday afternoon I came out of surgery to learn that things were worse than we expected. The cyst and my ovary were wrapping around one another and they both had to be removed.

Over 24 hours later I'm definitely bruised, battered, sore, and exhausted, but I'm home and recovering with one ovary still intact. My biological clock is happy that I should still be able to have more babies in the future...

Peace & Quiet

2011-03-29T23:21:00.003-04:00

It is few and far between these days that my munchkin goes to sleep before me, especially during the week but tonight was the night! So even though I'm up much later than I hoped for I have to enjoy it for all it is worth. So I'm sitting here...tired, but enjoying my peace & quiet. I hope you are too.

Where Is The Time Going Now?!?

2011-03-28T20:19:00.000-04:00

Wow! I don't know if I've ever went so long without blogging. My bad. My apologies too! Hopefully it won't be so long between posts in the future...

The last two weeks have been crazy busy and last week and this week I've been sick. Again. I'm trying to do extra things with the munchkin while all of us get a new schedule established. It is definitely difficult thus far and we haven't really hit our stride yet, but each day gets better. Now if I could just work trips to the gym, healthy eating, and some extra hours into the day life would be grand!!

I have to confess that I really thought I would have all of this time on my hands once school and studying was done, but that hasn't been the case. Between work, home, cubscouts, munchkin's school activities/homework, karate, my man, and family I'm finding that I have less time now then when I was going to school. What's up with that?! How does everyone else seem to get it all done?

All Or Nothing vs. Being Normal Again

2011-03-14T21:31:00.004-04:00

Yes, I am still floundering over here as you can probably tell. Part of the reason I may still be floundering may be the fact that I hate taking shortcuts. I feel like I'm short changing myself or something. I guess I'm sort of an all or nothing person. I know sometimes that sets me up for failure.

But in an effort to change I made a sudden decision tonight. I know there is no way I can get on top of:

1) all of my personal emails sitting in my in-box, currently 147;

2) all of the tweets I've marked as favorites to go back and read the attachments, it was 250 and now I'm down to 65; and

3) all of my mail and paperwork I'm currently carrying around with me.

So...I'm going to whittle down my emails & my favorites in an effort to get back on top of things. Maybe this will be one of the first steps on getting things back together and getting back to my normal self, because I certainly do not feel normal yet.

Definitely Not Pretty, But It Was To Be Expected

2011-03-08T22:24:00.003-05:00

It was almost like I was psychic Monday morning when I got on the scale. I just knew that I was going to have gained and gained a lot during the month of February. For some reason I also knew how much that scale was going to say I was weighing in at and I was only off by .4lbs. Monday's stats...

Starting weight: 363lbs (7/9/09)

Current weight: 330.4lbs

Results from the last 5 weeks: +11.6lbs

Total weight lost: -32.6lbs

It is what it is and now I have to work back to getting those numbers down again. I haven't done great so far this week, but I definitely am not consuming as many calories I did over the last month. Hopefully that will help me get back on track, because I still find myself struggling. For some reason even though I have more time I'm getting less done than I was when I was working and going to school. What's up with that?!?

Experiencing A Fog Delay

2011-03-05T01:45:00.005-05:00

I know you have heard this before, because I know I've said it many times here. I need to get my life together.

I went back to work this past week and it was brutal. The place is in turmoil, which is actually pretty normal. Everyone is angry and since I've been unexplainably irritable and pissy since the bar I really fit in. I received some unexpected news that it appears that work has apparently filled all of the recently vacant attorney spots and none have been reserved for me. It felt like I was caught in a horrible practical joke. I would recommend anyone coming off the stress we all just faced not to return to work the Monday following the bar to work a full week. Go back Wednesday for a short week. Trust me. You will thank me for this advice one day.

Sunday night I tweeted that I was going to attempt to quit smoking Monday. I have not succeeded in this goal, but I've certainly cut down loads, which is a huge thing for me. I may have been more successful if I was just dealing with my return to work this week, but that was not the case. Wednesday night I learned that a dear old friend of mine passed this week, which has been a huge emotional stressor in my life. In addition to this loss, Thursday my fears were confirmed that my work had screwed me by hiring 4 new attorneys without holding one back two months to wait for my bar results. We've actually had 5 attorneys either leave or are in the midst of leaving the end of March, so I had a glimmer of hope when originally it was known that they hired 3 new attorneys but Thursday we were informed they had hired 4 and that all positions were filled. Maybe they are holding one back and not letting anyone know, including me, but there is also a chance that they are not filling that last vacancy. Needless to say this has not helped my anger problem that I've had for over a week now and it has not helped my apparent post-bar blues. Nor has it helped me quit smoking this week...

Add to this rolling ball of crap I like to call my life the fact that mother nature arrived on time this month. Go figure. So not only am I having uncontrollable bouts of anger and depression add a basket full of emotions with a side of flowing tears and it has just been a ball over here.

This all leads to the fact that I have to get my life together. So regardless if I passed or failed the bar, I can't just keep going through each day in this continued fog state with an emotional laden basket full of anger, depression, and tears. In order to do this I need to take baby steps. My initial baby steps are: doing laundry, picking up the house, going grocery shopping for healthy choices, and taking the munchkin to the movies.

Reality Is Knocking On My Door

2011-02-26T23:23:00.003-05:00

Last Monday we had another major snow storm. Of course that was the day I was set to head to the hotel to settle in to take the bar. So after chipping an inch of ice from my car and brushing off around 10 inches of snow I made the two hour drive to check-in. I then spent Tuesday & Wednesday being tortured by the State Bar Examiners. I had booked my hotel room for an extra night, so I headed home Thursday morning.

After checking out, I hit up a MickeyD's for a cheeseburger. When I took a bite I realized that I was so achy from stress that my whole face hurt just from biting and chewing a damn cheeseburger. Who could have imagined such a thing... It was crazy!

Two hours later I finally arrived home and just sat until the munchkin got home so we could go to karate and then dinner afterwards. Of course it snowed some more again Thursday night and I had a doctor's appointment scheduled Friday early afternoon, which required me getting up early. So another almost 4 inches freshly coated our frozen tundra Friday morning just to make the drive extra fun.

I went to my new OB/GYN, who I adore, to be told I'm going to definitely need to have surgery. So this will probably be set up for sometime in April. I feel comfortable with him and feel okay with finally having my ever growing cyst removed. Apparently I'm carrying a grapefruit (or a large orange, if you prefer) around. Nice, huh?! Afterwards I went and spent time with my guy, but not before I found a Wendy's to stop by so I could do my makeup in their bathroom. Yes, this is where my life currently is post-bar.

Today was my pampering day. I got my hair "did", had a massage, and my monthly facial and waxing. Since I've been home tonight all I've done is watch TV and chill, but it has all been done guilt-free. This is the best. But since I return to work Monday I definitely need to be motivated tomorrow to get some things done, because reality is knocking on my door...

Just To Reassure You

2011-02-24T23:27:00.003-05:00

I am alive...

I survived the bar...

I am pretty sure I failed the bar...

I have not recovered from the experience...

I am not sure if I will ever recover...

There Really Is Only One Thing To Do!

2011-02-11T08:49:00.003-05:00

1. Study for the Bar

That's it. Nothing else. This will be my one and only goal for this week and the following week. Don't worry! My long lists of things to do will return in a few weeks, but for now this is all I am focused on to accomplish...studying and passing the bar. Isn't life fun over here in j'lynn's world?!?

Congrats To My Aunt

2011-02-08T18:54:00.003-05:00

She finally got a new job. My aunt has hated her job since the first week she took it a couple weeks ago. I can totally relate, because several years ago I was in that spot...I HATED MY JOB and knew it on day #5. So I'm very happy for her and I hope it brings her happiness.

Way to go Auntie...the munchkin and I wish you the best of luck! Love ya!

Following In Her Footsteps...

2011-02-07T23:56:00.002-05:00

As was announced by Legally Fabulous, the bar is 2 weeks away from tomorrow. I'm definitely not holding it together nearly as well as she is. There may have been a panic attack Sunday afternoon that she graciously talked me down from on Twitter, which led me to wrapping raw chicken breasts to freeze in an effort to calm the hell down.

So for the next 2 weeks I'm just going to try and hold it together the best I can, get as much done as I can and if all ends well no one will get shanked between now and then... If it doesn't all end well, then I'll be in prison and my degree will work to certify me as the best damn jail house lawyer in the women's prison! It all works out one way or the other...

Congrats To The Packers

2011-02-06T22:19:00.003-05:00

Who won the Super Bowl tonight! Way to go guys!! Congratulations!!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 12

Just getting started: 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 14, 15

Needs attention: 7, 8, 13

Trying To Heal By Venting & Getting My Space Back

2011-02-05T14:30:00.006-05:00

Okay...this is a long ass post and this is all about me and an issue that I just can't get past. I felt like I needed to vent, get it off my chest in order to move on. Yes, by the time you finish reading this post you may call me a judgmental bitch, because that doesn't both me at all. I know I'm a judgmental bitch...I own it and I'm okay with it. If you opt to skip this after a paragraph or so...I'm okay with that too, because this one is for me more than you. So here goes...

I have never held it secret or even quiet that I have major issues with some of my family members, especially my bro and his wife. There has been a long brewing battle with them, especially her. We do not fight even though I have thought of it and sometimes dreamt of it. I know that I'm allowing them to take up too much space in my head, my heart, and more importantly in my soul, so this post is my way of venting and letting it all go. I also know that some of my issue is jealousy, which is crazy, but it is what it is and I'm woman enough to admit it, because in all honesty some of this should be happening for me and it just hasn't happened yet. I know it will happen all in good time, but some of this crap just doesn't help.

Let me give you some background here. My bro and I have never been uber close. There are 8 years between us and light years between our mentalities. I know some of this is because of the way we grew up. My bro is my dad's son. My dad is not really my dad. Before my mom meet the man who would become my dad she had me. I was never given an opportunity to know my real father. My mom didn't even tell my father she was pregnant or that I existed until I was 18 months old. You see my mom was the "other woman" and my father had a wife and five sons from his marriage. I think my mom held long seeded hatred for my father, because when she finally told him that I existed she told him that if one day I showed up on his doorstep to spit in his face and spew my hatred at him she would back me. Um, I'm not sure why I would stand on this man's doorstep and spit in his face or spew hatred at him...it was never his fault as to why he wasn't in my life. That was my mother's choice and neither he nor I had a choice in the matter and we had to live with her choice.

It was always clear while I was growing up that my mother had convinced herself that my dad was my "real" dad. It was also made clear in my mind that my family didn't include me. Things were only done as a family when I wasn't home and it was just the three of them, my mom, my dad, & my bro. It wasn't all sunshine for my bro either, because my mom and dad are very selfish people. They always put the two of them above everything and everyone else, including my bro & I. The next step on the food chain was if the occasion called for a family was my mom, dad and my bro. I was lucky though because I had my Nana & Papa and I always retreated to them. They were my rock and they are who helped make me who I am today.

Once we were grownups and I was married and had my munchkin & my step-munchkin my bro married my x-sil and had a family, 2 beautiful boys. After their second son was born their marriage came to an end. This was sad, because I loved my x-sil and those 2 boys. The year was 2007. On Feb. 16th my bro filed for divorce and moved back in with my parents. I supported him the best I could and even paid for his divorce. It wasn't an angry divorce and didn't turn bad until the end of February, early March, when my bro moved in with a girl before his wife was even served with the divorce papers.

The new girl was kept pretty secretive from the whole family. She always has been. I'm not sure why. No one had ever met her and all that people knew was that she had a son that was born 22 days after my bro's second son. The first time I met this new girl was in April 2007. They drove up to get me after my going away party when I left my job in hell. I was too drunk to drive home so they came up to get me and bring me and my car home. I was told I wasn't allowed to look at her...she drove her car back and my bro drove me and my car back. I paid to fill up her gas tank before they dropped me and my car at home and I was reminded at the gas station and then when I got home that I wasn't allowed to look at her. I was like...whatever! I was drunk and I didn't care. At some point I suspected that the new girl was pregnant and confronted my mom over it. She confirmed that I was right and that the baby was due in mid-December. Um, hello...I can count too and according to my calculations you conceived mid-late March. Within 6 weeks of his filing for divorce.

Christmas time arrived that year and I received a Christmas card from the new girl, my bro, her 1 year old and "new baby" who wasn't even here yet. It was sent from them as Mr. & Mrs. This I found beyond tacky since he still wasn't divorced. I was still in shock that a single mom would move my bro into her home with her less than 6 month old son when she allegedly didn't know him prior to his filing for divorce. (Read: I've never bought the story and suspect that her son may actually be my bro's kid & they were having an affair as my x-sil suspected.) I mean hello...you don't know him. He could have been a child molester. If you want to be an idiot when it's just you fine, but you have a child and you should be more responsible. My bro finally told me the night his 3rd (or 4th depending on who you believe) son was born that they were expecting. Now that takes class, doesn't it?

The second time I met the new girl was at my mom's on Christmas Eve. Baby #3 was 3 or 4 days old (I debate the DOB, but that is just me because I remember him calling me on the 20th and everyone else says it was the 21st...whatever, neither here nor there). This was the same night that my x-sil allowed my mom to have the 2 boys to spend Christmas Eve with the family. There was a lot of hatred on my part that night, because the new girl came and picked up my oldest nephew and took him to their house before celebrating at my mom's. They didn't take my other nephew to as they said "celebrate Christmas as a family." I was beyond livid!! You don't get to pick and choose which of your other children you are going to include in your "new family." Needless to say when they returned to the house, the five of them, and I was holding my pocket baby (nephew #2) I said nothing to her. I didn't even look at baby #3. They left within a couple hours but not before treating my two nephews like crap.

That January my mother had to have surgery on the shoulder she broke at my house over the prior summer. I was doing her grocery shopping when I ran into the 3 of them (her son was in daycare) and while my bro and I stood there chatting the new girl stood there with her hand up next to her eyes blocking her from seeing me and her face turned away from me. (Read: she thinks she is still in high school.) Yes, this was the 3rd time I meet her in the 11 months since they were together.

No one in the family knew they were getting married until my family was at a family wedding and the grandmother of the bride, my mom's 2nd cousin, congratulated my bro to my mom and when my mom asked what she was talking about she told my mom that his wedding license was in the paper the day before. Nice way for your mom to find out that you are getting married. So him and the new girl got married at the courthouse some day in the midst of the drama with my two nephews. So my bro terminated his rights to my 2 nephews and married wife #2 with two new kids.

Fast forward to the email I received last spring of the new girl in a wedding dress asking me what I thought of her dress. This lead to a conversation of my confusion since they were already married and her telling me that they were having a real wedding (read: fake) and the reasons weren't satisfactory in my book. They weren't doing it because they loved one another and wanted to share that love with their friends and family...no, they were doing it because, according to the new girl, "I want to get dressed up and have my picture taken too" referring to my x-sil. That is a mature reason, huh? Then the date of the fake wedding came out and it was for when my munchkin's birthday party was scheduled and it was the day before my munchkin's birthday. Instead of an apology of jacking my son's birthday I was told "Well, I guess you'll have to move your son's birthday."

The day of the fake wedding arrived and the new girl made the mistake of running her mouth at one of my salons and telling my face girl "I fucking hate my fucking fiance. He has ruined my entire fucking life. I fucking hate him." That's love on your wedding day...fake or not. At the wedding where I dreamed of spilling a glass of red wine down the front of her fake wedding dress instead she walked up behind where I was sitting and pulled a chunk of my up-do down and asked if I had my hair done. The only reason I didn't knock her out was because I was sober and I felt a little sad for her...no-one from her family showed up to the fake wedding. And I mean no one....her parents didn't show, her 2 bros didn't show, her grandparents didn't show, no aunts, uncles or cousins either. (Read: See, even her own family doesn't like her.) I do however believe that mother nature showed up to warn them that this isn't the best decision, because there was a tornado the night of their fake wedding. This is a sign y'all...

The next time I saw them was on Christmas Eve where we deduced that the new girl is pregnant again. This normally isn't a big deal, but you see I'm the only grand-daughter, all of my cousins are boys, and none of what my mother considers the biological grand-children had a girl yet so after I filed for divorce and my x-sil was pregnant with baby #1 my bro threw it in my face not in the nicest manner that he will have a girl before me. Um, I think the fact that you are having sex and I'm not greatly increases your chances. So even though my 2 cousins have girls (the one my mom considers biological had a daughter in September and the one my mom doesn't consider biological~her bro adopted him when he was 5 after marrying my aunt~has a daughter who is going to be 15 this year) I know that my bro is adding to his child number in hopes that they have a girl before I do. Again, not hard...I'm still not having sex and don't have a plan for a baby in the next year or two. Duh!

So the latest compilations of crap that has finally broken me with being involved with my bro and the new girl are 3 separate incidents...

Incident #1 when the new girl commented that she would gladly give away her oldest son than the youngest son on Christmas Eve...as that "step-kid" who is known not to be biologically the father's child this hit me really hard. Aren't you suppose to stand up stronger for your child who you are the only real parent in the household to? Not be willing to toss him under the bus quicker than your other children who happen to belong to or have been admitted to belong to your spouse. Yes, I'm very sensitive to this situation and maybe too much too, but this was just uncalled for.

Incident #2 is when I was getting prank calls from the county jail and I called my mom to make sure it wasn't someone in the family and when she called my bro his response was, "I'm sorry to disappoint my sister, but it isn't me." How dare you think the fact that you are not in jail disappoints me. You are an idiot and a jackass.

Incident #3...throwing it in my face how you are moving into a 3,000+ square foot house in a ritzy subdivision while you remind me I'm still living in a single wide trailer. And of course the subdivision is one of the few that I have looked at and hoped to eventually relocate to as the munchkin and I move up in the world with all of my hard work in school, etc. Since I would rather live in a box than near them it has been crossed off my list. So upon learning this news in such a distasteful manner and with the rudeness that only my bro can invoke I have deleted their contact information from my phone and figure the only time I will really have to deal with any of them is maybe on Christmas Eve. So I say...well dear ex-bro and skanky x-new sil you are moving today to your new, rented "luxury" house that you can't afford (I know how much you make and how much your bills are and I do judge, so deal with it) and mother nature is with me, yet again. Because after our blizzard on Wednesday where we received 9 inches of snow, she showed up again today, your moving day, and is giving us another 3-6 inches.

Just another sign I say...a warning sign that this "marriage" is doomed and needs to stop. For God's sake even mother nature is telling you to end it. Duh!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3

Just getting started: 4, 5, 6

Needs attention: 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15

Focus Change...18 Days Till Go Time

2011-02-04T09:15:00.004-05:00

With 18 days until the bar my focus must change. From now till the end my focus is getting my shit together for The Bar. So if you don't hear from me...don't panic, I'm not dead...just studying.

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Write out my shopping list

3. Go shopping

4. Pick up the house

5. Study, study, study!!!!!

6. Do laundry

7. Workout

8. Get my allergy shot

9. Write my guy

10. Get re-motivated

11. Get re-focused for next week

12. Plan out our week

13. Get re-committed to my healthy living

14. Get re-organized

15. Get my shit back together

Blizzard of 2011

2011-02-01T23:29:00.005-05:00

Well, we've been hearing the warnings for several days and right on time it showed up. Around 5:30pm this afternoon the Blizzard of 2011 blew into town and now 6 hours later it is still going strong. Actually, just minutes ago sleet was smacking our windows and the wind sounded like maybe a snow tornado had arrived in our yard. Of course according to the experts the best is yet to come...

Since we are set to get anywhere between 10 and 18 inches before this storm finishes I'm just aiming to keep my power & my internet connection for the duration.

If you are in the path of the Blizzard of 2011 stay safe, stay warm, and stay home y'all!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

Just getting started: 9, 15, 16

Needs attention: Nothing!!

I Was Unprepared For Today, But Tomorrow Is A New Day

2011-01-31T22:05:00.004-05:00

So my plan to start my new schedule today did not happen as I had planned. Even though I went to bed later than I had hoped it was still a decent time. The problem arose when hours later I was still awake. I finally fell asleep close to 3am.

While I was laying there awake, cursing my brain for not allowing me to sleep I never thought to get up and wash my workout pants to hit the gym first thing this morning. Opps!

So even though I was up at a decent time, showered and totally ready to go to the gym I had to wait until my workout pants were washed and dried. Add on to it the fact that I had several errands to run today and I felt the need to get a few things I would have done later in the week completed today in case we get hit with the big storm everyone is saying is forth coming and before I knew it I was walking back in the door at 1:30pm. Of course by then I was starving and didn't even get to crack a book until after 2pm (outside of what I read on the treadmill).

I remain focused and excited about putting this new schedule to work and pulling it off. Tomorrow I will be much better prepared to hit the ground running when I wake up, plus I will have a few more hours of sleep under my belt than I did this morning...or so I hope!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

Just getting started: 9, 15, 16

Needs attention: Nothing!!

Ready For A New Schedule

2011-01-30T23:26:00.004-05:00

So the schedule I've been attempting to follow has been to get up around 7am, catch up with my on-line life as the munchkin goes to school. Then the plan has been to do some studying, which I always hope will be around 8am, but always seems to happen much closer to 10am. Not good. Then after studying for a while I figure I need to take a shower and hit the gym with the understanding or belief that I will come back home and study some more. Of course by the time I get back home it is like 4pm. Then either I'm whipping up dinner for us so when my aunt and the munchkin get here they can eat before he heads to his next activity (CCD, Karate, Cub Scouts, etc.) By the time they leave it is around 6pm or so and they are usually scheduled to return between 8pm-9pm and in all honesty who is ready to study starting from 6-8pm?!? Obviously this isn't working for me and with 3 weeks left I need to find a new schedule that works better than what I've been trying.

So tomorrow I'm going to try a new schedule of getting up between 6 & 7am, shower and get ready for the gym and my day. Then I'm going to hit the gym first thing before I attempt to do any studying. The last few times at the gym I have been able to read BarBri on the treadmill, so that is where I will start for the day, then come home and it shouldn't be later than 10am by the time I get home to study. This will give me a huge chunk of time before I need to take a break to get dinner. And since I will only be taking a break for an hour or two it shouldn't be nearly as difficult to get back to studying for a couple hours till the munchkin returns home and we get ready for bed.

I'm sort of excited to start this new schedule tomorrow and I'm very hopeful that this week is much more productive than the past weeks...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13

Just getting started: 9, 14, 15, 16

Needs attention: 7

If Only I Could Go Back A Week And Get A Do Over

2011-01-29T23:41:00.003-05:00

So today's reality check, which I knew was so going to happen after my inability to accomplish anything last week and my inability to stop myself from putting everything and anything in my mouth except healthy food and water, has spurred me to change my plan of attack. I have to change up my daily schedule because in 3 weeks I'm set to take the bar and if I do not get it together I will be just hitting repeat on all of this crap in 6 months...

More on my new plan of attack tomorrow. Until then, here are today's stats (to be expected)...

Starting weight: 363lbs (7/9/09)

Current weight: 318.8lbs

This week's results: +3.8lbs

Total weight lost: -44.2lbs

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 10

Just getting started: 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 14, 15, 16

Needs attention: 7, 13

There Is No Other Option Left

2011-01-28T06:37:00.005-05:00

Yes, in one week my life and everything I was holding high fell and shattered on the cement floor! I take complete and full responsibility for that fall and the following shattering. I had a strong run for a few weeks and even had a very strong weekend last week, but this week everything fell apart. I made it to the gym on Monday and then apparently everything went downhill starting Tuesday. This was the same day where I had to have extensive repairs made in my home, which were totally not expected. This is also the same day where for over 4 hours I had a bunch of people in my house and I also knew I had to take my munchkin to karate since my aunt's work schedule was screwed up that day. It was also the same day that I spent dreaming of Red Lobster and was rudely denied due to an electrical problem.

Once I had experienced that one bad day it just kept repeating itself every other day this week or so it seemed. Wednesday was the day of the washer problems. I had hoped this would be fixed by the end of the afternoon, but yet again...a denial. I discovered that I would have to wait another week to get that taken care of too. Not what I had planned at all.

The biggest problems I seemed to be facing this week was I was definitely feeling exhausted and was still dreaming about that Red Lobster dinner that I was denied Tuesday. Yesterday I just couldn't seem to get anything moving over here. I felt dead to the world. I so could have laid down and took a really long nap, but I didn't. Instead I made plans to finally get my Red Lobster dinner with the munchkin and my aunt after his karate class so I could stop dreaming about my Sunset Passion Colada and my coconut shrimp! Of course we were in the midst of a little snow storm (1-2"s). I was exhausted before we made it to dinner, so after my two drinks I was totally ready for the bed.

The munchkin and I were in the bed by 9pm last night...I was stuffed and very sleepy with the perfect amount of frozen alcohol mixed in. This all led me to get up very early this morning (hello 5:15am!) and realize that even though I apparently took this past week off I have to get my life back in order or else in just over 3 weeks I will be in some serious trouble and I won't be able to bail myself out of that mess. This is a requirement for me this week. No more screwing around. It is just me, my list and BarBri...we will be one this week and I will get back on that wagon of having my life together. No if's, and's, or but's about it! No more excuses!!!

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Write out my shopping list

3. Go shopping

4. Pick up the house

5. Study, study, study!!!!!

6. Do laundry

7. Workout

8. Get my allergy shot

9. Write my guy

10. Pick up our pictures

11. Get re-motivated

12. Get re-focused for next week

13. Plan out our week

14. Get re-committed to my healthy living

15. Get re-organized

16. Get my shit back together

It All Started With A Little Blue Puddle

2011-01-26T14:08:00.001-05:00

This all started Saturday night after my wonderful bubble bath and right before I went to bed when I noticed a little puddle of blue under the back of my toilet. I discovered that the tank on my toilet was leaking. It was 1:30am Saturday night. Nothing I could do about it and no one to call to help. And it wasn't serious enough Sunday to call my plumber. Um, hello? Paying a plumber on a Sunday? No thank you!

Monday morning I called my other aunt and then my uncle because it wasn't like I was able to afford even a phone call to anyone, because I couldn't pay them when they came out. While talking to them I also mentioned that my washer was having serious issues too. It was making a horrible noise going into the spin cycle and wasn't spinning all the water out and I would have to toss in an extra spin before putting them in the dryer. My wonderful uncle told me to make the necessary calls and they would take care of it. I was relieved...

In between getting this all together Monday morning I put some sausage and sauerkraut over. I was so hungry for it I couldn't wait all day for dinner to roll around. I hit the gym that afternoon and waited and waited and waited for my aunt and munchkin to get here so we could eat! I weighed out my sausage, measured my sauerkraut and sat down to finally eat. Even though I had cooked it all day, it wasn't done enough. Dinner failure. I cooked it again the rest of the night and resorted back to my chips & dips again for dinner. When it was finally done I tried it again. No go! There was no taste. How did I mess up a dish that I've made a hundred plus times? Needless to say I was not happy.

Off to bed I went, disappointed in my dinner, but I also knew I had to be up early for repair guys #1 who were scheduled to be here at 8:00am Tuesday morning. Fast forward to the following morning...repair guys quickly fix my toilet (the tank was lose...who knew that could happen...), so I figure while they are here and since I kept the cost so low I mentioned that it appeared my kitchen faucet had started to leak where the nozzle attached. After a quick look they discover it is more than a little leak...it was also leaking under the sink way in the back too. Of course that wasn't fixable, it had to be replaced. Out of the blue Mr. Fix-It asked me when was the last time I had checked my hot water tank...um, if it had ever been "checked" it would have been before my guy and I split up in '04. So he offers to check it and of course, thank God he did, because it was leaking. God, help me...

So a quote of $1,200 later to replace both my kitchen faucet and hot water tank I figured my day was pretty well shot! Of course this was normally bad all in of itself, but when you also figure that not only did I have to clear out from under my skin so they could replace my faucet I also had to clear out around my back door (a/k/a my laundry and pantry room) and my closet. You must remember...I live in a trailer so every room is small and I have everything packed in tight!! You may wonder why I would have to clear out around my back door, so the guys could drain my hot water tank. You then may ask what my bedroom closet has to do with this mess...well, that's because my hot water tank is impaneled inside my bedroom closet. Convenient, huh?

So four hours and several dollars later, I had the pleasure of putting my kitchen, laundry room, and bedroom back together. I was so excited I could barely contain myself... I did use the opportunity to clean out all of the bakeware I had stuffed under the sink. Seriously, do I need 9 glass baking dishes, 5 of which are the size?! Or 12 cookie sheets?! I didn't think so either. By the time I finished putting everything back together, which of course included sweeping and mopping part of my kitchen floor and my little pantry plus vacuuming my bedroom closet and the surrounding area, it was time to get the munchkin because I had to take him to karate.

Throughout the day I knew I had to take the munchkin to karate and after we would go to dinner with my aunt and every time something went wrong or became much messier than anticipated I just kept telling myself that I could handle it, because tonight I was going to partake in a tall Sunset Passion Colada or two while enjoying Parrot Isle Jumbo Coconut Shrimp at Red Lobster, which I've been craving for a few weeks. Knowing this helped me get through everything yesterday. After karate we headed to Red Lobster just to see that the restaurant was all dark with 3 utility vans outside and a note on the door explaining they were closed due to electrical problems.

I couldn't win yesterday... We ended up going to the China Buffet in town, which was yummy, but since I was so set on my Red Lobster meal nothing was satisfying to me. Of course this caused me to eat more than I should have. And today? Well, now I just sit here waiting for the Sear's Repair Guy to get here to look at that racket machine...opps, I meant washing machine! He should be here between 1pm & 5pm. Of course that means closer to 5pm than 1pm, especially since it is already 2pm...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Just getting started: 17, 18

Needs attention: 10, 11

This Would Be Why I'm Eating Chips & Dips Tonight...

2011-01-23T22:05:00.003-05:00

So last night as I was going to bed I realized that my toilet has sprung a leak. This after I listened to my washer make a weird noise all day. Just great!!

Of course this would happen! I haven't worked or gotten a paycheck in over a month. Due to my wonderful work screwing me on not being able to take out my 401K and the IRS making it impossible to file my taxes until mid-February, even if I had my W-2's which I of course I don't~thanks again work!~, I'm totally living...er mooching off my aunt!! I've taken her last 2 checks from her, she's paid my two credit card bills and likely will pay my cellphone/internet bill, and all I have left in my checking account is $150.

Now I get to call two different repair people tomorrow and try to mooch off my other aunt and uncle. FML!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16
Just getting started: 17, 18
Needs attention: 10, 11

A Runny Day Brings Happiness Later

2011-01-22T16:02:00.002-05:00

I wasn't sure how this morning was going to go...A couple days this week I felt like I had lost, but then yesterday with basically eating out the whole darn day I was nervous. Plus yesterday and this morning I was feeling like I had totally gained.

I tried to do my best while I was at lunch with my LSBFF, which I loved every single minute of and which was crazy delicious. While there I feel like I tempted the healthy living Gods by selecting the lunch buffet. I know, what was I thinking?!? But I did good! I think I did very good.

My first trip through I had a plate of salad and instead of eating my dressing I wore most of it. Thank you runny ranch dressing! My second trip through I had some mixed veggies, which were pretty yummy, a delicious pork mini-burrito, some chicken stir-fry, which wasn't so yummy, and some catfish beignets, which were to die for!! I skipped the dirty rice and the meatloaf, which I found was an odd addition to the buffet. The pork mini-burrito and the catfish beignets were so yummy I totally could have went for another plate piled high, but I didn't. I called it done and shockingly by the time we left I was perfectly content with my selections and was in that range of perfectly full, not stuffed.

After getting a chance to chat with my LSBFF over the yummy food I left there and drove out to see my honey. This is where my day got crazy!! By the end of the night or I really should say the middle of our visit we realized that my new black shirt was "bleeding" all over. At first we just thought maybe I was uber cold since my hands had a purple tint to them. It was very cold out, but we were inside, a poorly heated room, but purple hands?! Then all of a sudden I realized that my guy's white shirt was now dirty. Um yeah...it was dirty from being under my arm. My black shirt was just letting its colors run wherever it wanted. His shirt, my new white tank top underneath. It didn't seem to matter. Thank god we were on some nasty brown ol' state owned chairs. I felt horrible. This would be the second shirt of his that he left with my marks on. The first was my makeup left on the shoulder of his red shirt when we said bye a few weeks back. So not only do I apparently not know how to apply my makeup at the age of 34...I can't pick out clothes and keep them from leaving their mark all over. I guess between my salad dressing and my shirt it was just sort of a runny kind of day!

At the end of our five hours together I left and was starting to feel a little hungry, but more importantly I knew I had to get some serious water in me on my way home or else I was going to get home at 10:30pm and still have over 32 ozs to drink. So in only the second time since my healthy lifestyle re-kicked itself off back on January 3rd I ate fast food. I ran through a McDonald's drive thru and picked up a cheeseburger and 2 bottles of water.

So this morning when I woke feeling like my PJ's were tighter than the last time I wore them I was definitely nervous getting on the scale. Today's stats are...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs
Current weight: 315lbs
This week's results: -3.8lbs
Total weight lost: -48lbs

I can't believe it!! I couldn't! I just stood and stared at the number! The lowest I've been in a really, really long time! And well ahead of my goal, according to SparkPeople.com! So, since I have restarted my healthy lifestyle and been hitting the gym I have lost a total of 8.6lbs. I find this amazing. So I have now lost all of the weight I gained over the holidays plus another 1.6lbs. Yay me!! I guess hard work does really pay off!

Now I just need to incorporate that into the other areas of my life.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 16

Just getting started: 6, 7, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18

Needs attention: 10, 11, 15

It Is A Whole New List

2011-01-21T08:18:00.003-05:00

Yes, last week I accomplished everything I had set out on my to-do list. You didn't really think that meant that I was done with my lists, did you?! I hope not, because then you will be sadly disappointed, because here I go again... (But look...it is even shorter than last week's list!)

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Do lunch with my LSBFF
2. Go & see my guy
3. Write out my shopping list
4. Go shopping
5. Get my house cleaned
6. Study
7. Do laundry
8. Workout
9. Get my allergy shot
10. Write my guy
11. Pick up our pictures
12. Get some sleep
13. Stay motivated
14. Stay focused for next week
15. Plan out my week
16. Stay committed to my healthy living
17. Stay organized
18. Keep my shit together

Basking In My Glory...Just Look From Afar

2011-01-20T19:21:00.005-05:00

I worked my butt off today.

Okay...I probably could have done more, but I seriously studied for like 4-5 hours. For me lately that is huge! I know I could have done more, but I also had a few things I had to take care of too... That is what happens when you are a mom and run a household.

Plus I even made it to the gym and hit the treadmill for 30 mins! I know...look at me go!!

But don't look too closely, because then you would see my really greasy do (it takes time to wash so it has been put off for my Friday "dates") and you would have also noticed that I have worn the same workout pants for the last two days to the gym. I think keeping them on for only about 2 hours a day is still okay. Right!?! RIGHT?!?

So please look from afar so you can shine in my glory, but beware, because tomorrow morning I will hit the gym in the same disarray, but after my workout I promise I'll shower and wash both my hair and my pants. Then I'll be ready to tackle another week... ;)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

Just getting started: Nothing!!

Needs attention: Nothing!!

At Least I Stayed Awake All Day Today...Step #1 Accomplished!

2011-01-19T19:27:00.001-05:00

After losing yesterday, especially at the gym or even staying awake, I was able to get back on track today. It was slow and difficult, but I got that done. I hit the gym, late this afternoon, and did not even think of laying down for a nap even though I got up at 6:20am this morning. Apparently in my life these days those are two huge accomplishments.

Even though I wanted to knife a few guys at the gym this afternoon, I was able to get my full workout in. I had hoped to add some additional minutes on the treadmill today, but I was not able to. At least I got 20 mins in on top of my strength training. Beggars cannot be choosers....

Now if only I could get that studying situation under as much control. But as a great friend in my life said...tomorrow is another opportunity & we shall grab that full force!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19

Just getting started: 20

Needs attention: Nothing!!

Napping Is The Devil & Only Leads To My Failure

2011-01-18T22:02:00.004-05:00

Okay...today ended up being an utter failure for getting stuff done...actually anything done. I totally own this failure outright.

Apparently instead of laying down at 10am for a 2 hour nap I should have showered instead, because the intended 2 hours turned into 4.5 actual hours. Therefore I never showered, never got dressed, never made it to the gym, never finished my shopping, and never got the studying I needed to get done today done.

My conclusion is that napping is the devil for me...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

Just getting started: 3, 19, 20

Needs attention: Nothing!!

Bright Eyed & Bushy Tail

2011-01-18T09:12:00.001-05:00

Okay...this doesn't really describe me, but I am still amazed at myself and it is barely 9am!

Between yesterday where I got tons of stuff done (Just look below!!) and this morning when I actually woke up at 5:40am without an alarm and continued to accomplish stuff today I feel like I can claim to be bright eyed & bushy tail...or is it tailed?! I'm not sure which it is, but it feels like it is an old saying from my childhood, so I'm going with it!

I studied more yesterday than I have in a single day in a while. Yes, even I was shocked too! Then I hit the gym, increasing my time on the treadmill to 30 minutes, and then on to my treat! Yes...week #3 in my journey deserved a treat. Plus my salon had BOGO 50% off and I have bonus bucks that had to be used for the month of January! Work with me here people. I had my schedule all set...stop studying at 11:45am, make my way to the gym, workout for 30 minutes, hit the bank (ATM) and the post office, and arrive for my 1pm mani & pedi. Figured I'd be home by 2:30pm-ish.

Ready, set, go....and I was off! Everything seemed to be falling into place until I realized I hit the treadmill at 12:10pm instead of 12:00 and somehow I didn't get done with the gym until 12:50pm. Please don't ask where the other 20 minutes went, because I have no clue! Then I attempted to hit the bank, quickly, only to find 7 other cars in line for the ATM, so I drove by and headed straight to my appointment. I was back on schedule walking in right at 1pm. This is where it really went downhill. Finally at 1:40pm I was taken back for my pampering and since I had waited so long I was treated to a couple extras, which were nice, but not a part of my tight schedule, which now included the bank & post office post pampering...

Around 4:30pm I finally made my way back home. Shockingly another planning that didn't go the way it was suppose to... Of course this lead me to not finish #3 on my list, which should be taken care of today (I just need a couple more things...) and you may wonder what the hold up is for #17...well, that one I'm laying on my LSBFF who is apparently MIA from her email this week, but I will wait on both of them and maybe by tomorrow I will be able to add another "Nothing!!" to my To-Do List Tally!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18
Just getting started: 3, 17, 19, 20
Needs attention: Nothing!!

Not Just Another Monday

2011-01-17T08:15:00.001-05:00

Today is not just another Monday. It is Martin Luther King Day. It is the day so many of us have off from work or school. And in all honesty who doesn't love a paid holiday in the middle of January. But today is so much more. Today is the day we reflect on this great man's legacy...his dream. And then we look to where we are today. How far have we come? Was his sacrifice in vain? These are sometime personal to each of us and sometimes more public.

As today was approaching I saw the headline to a news article about Dr. King. It basically inquired whether the possibility of infidelity tainted his image as a great man. I was like, "seriously?!?" I refused to click on the article or give it any more time than what I am now, because in all seriousness I could care less if he had an affair or not. How is this our concern? His greatness in my mind isn't linked to whether or not he acted like so many great men of our time and committed adultery.

Maybe it makes a difference in your mind and where you rank him among great leaders in our nation's history, but it doesn't me. Obviously sex scandals haven't really tarnished JFK and his image or greatness as a leader for this country, so for me it doesn't tarnish MLK either.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18

Just getting started: 3, 6, 17, 19, 20

Needs attention: 9, 10

It Isn't Failing To Plan That Gets Me...It's Just My Planning Fails

2011-01-16T15:35:00.002-05:00

How many times must I say it...I fail at planning. Maybe I don't do it right. I'm not sure. But it seems when I plan something it falls through. It just doesn't happen the way it should. Maybe I don't cover all of my bases before I plan. I'm not exactly sure, but planning by me is usually an epic failure.

Don't believe me? Well, here is another example of one of my planning failures... A week or so ago I saw a recipe coming across on Twitter from Nathan Fillon (the actor in Castle) and it sounded pretty good. It was a Mexican Bean Dip recipe and I'm always up for that. So I made my shopping list after checking the fridge and cupboards and away I went Friday night after my weekly visit with my honey. So this morning I decide in addition to studying I also want to cook a few new dishes. Well...I actually decided that yesterday and I started on that with cooking chicken in my crockpot with salsa to use in a different recipe...but I digress... I pulled out all of my ingredients this afternoon to make my bean dip and my black olives are gone.

Yup...my munchkin and my aunt ate them Friday night with their dinner. Ugh... Okay, so I decided to make it without. No big deal and heck, it likely saved on calories too. So I move on from this, make the bean dip, reach for the bag of tortilla chips to eat some. Ummm...hello whoever left just crumbs in the bottom of the bag, but only rolled it down once giving an appearance of an almost full bag of chips...nice job! Luckily I had an unopened package of taco shells to use.

Not all was lost. I was able to eat my newly made bean dip and it was yummy sans black olives or chips. But come on...I don't need help with the failing part of my planning. Ugh....

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 18

Just getting started: 3, 5, 16, 17, 19, 20

Needs attention: 6, 9, 10

Law School Graduate Here...& It's Official!!

2011-01-15T23:57:00.001-05:00

Thursday I got an email right before I left for the gym from my LSBFF to tell me that our grades were finally posted. Of course it only took 44 days... And I passed! Like totally passed. So it became official Thursday. I actually graduated from law school, officially. :) I was so happy that I could have cried or screamed or both.

I went on to the gym that afternoon (after skipping Wednesday...um, hello we had 6 inches of snow that day and no, it doesn't matter that I had drove the day before in the midst of that little snow storm to the gym) and when I walked in the owner asked me how I was and upon hearing my "I'm wonderful today" he told me that obviously something more than just getting to the gym to workout was going on with me. So I exclaimed that I had just officially graduated from law school. In my moment of glee I forgot to ask him how he was so after my workout was done I made sure to pop in and tell him to have a great day in place of my failure to ask how he was!

The munchkin was super busy that night so we decided to celebrate with a dinner out today. Before I went to dinner I did my weekly weigh-in...Today's Stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs
Current weight: 318.8lbs
This week's results: -.8lbs
Total weight lost: -44.2lbs

I can't say that I'm happy with these results, but I also can't say I'm not happy. I lost, which is a huge thing all by itself. I was really hoping to get another big number this week, but that didn't happen. I had a few slip-ups, but nothing huge this week. But I guess I didn't eat the right things to get my calories in so that very well may have held me back in my weight loss endeavors this week. I'm sure skipping the gym Wednesday didn't help either, but I did workout Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday. Oh well...I guess I just have to tighten it up this week. That's all. Hey...a loss is a loss!

Of course I likely undid that loss at dinner today. Between the sampler platter of poppers, onion rings, cheese sticks, mini-tacos, and wings added to my yummy, juicy, delicious cheeseburger and curly fries undid that loss today. But since that and a small brownie is all I consumed today I think I may be okay next week! I didn't make the gym or get any studying done today, but I sure did have a nice day regardless.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13

Just getting started: 3, 5, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

Needs attention: 6, 9, 10

First Day Of A Three Day Weekend

2011-01-14T08:00:00.001-05:00

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Write out my shopping list

3. Go shopping

4. Pick up the house

5. Do laundry

6. Study

7. Get my monthly facial

8. Get my monthly waxing to rid myself of my unibrow & hairy lip

9. Get my nails did as a little treat to myself

10. Workout

11. Work on finishing cleaning out our drawers & closets

12. Catch up on my emails

13. Catch up on my blog reading

14. Get some sleep

15. Stay motivated

16. Stay focused for next week

17. Plan out my week

18. Stay committed to my healthy living

19. Stay organized

20. Keep my shit together

Planning Fails

2011-01-12T10:09:00.001-05:00

So often I make big plans and so often they fall through. I'm not talking about major plans, but more about what I'm going to accomplish and when. For instance...my plan starting Monday morning was to get up a little earlier than I have been since I've been off "studying" so I could was my hair and have my mom braid it when she came over to get the munchkin off to school. Well, this didn't happen until this morning. But hey...it finally happened so that should count for something, right? Or for the last 3 nights I've planned on going to bed early or at the least a decent time. Well, that hasn't happened yet. But tonight is another night.

Or another example was that I would get up this morning, totally motivated from staying up till 1am last night watching The Biggest Loser, and eat a nice, healthy breakfast and hit the ground running. I did wake up...motivated...and fixed a wonderful breakfast. I chopped green peppers, onions, ham and a little turkey to put in with my egg-beaters. I made a big bowl of a yummy breakfast all within my calorie target for my breakfast. Sat down to eat it, ate half of it, realizing that my egg-beaters were seriously expired and tossed the rest. Now I don't know if anything would have really happened had I ate all of it nor do I know if anything will happen from eating half of it, but once I had that information each bite I took was harder and harder to swallow. Of course now I sit here with the fear that I'll start feeling sick due to my inability to use things when I actually buy them versus letting things expire and throwing caution to the wind while consuming them.

So after a nice little argument with my mom due to her ability to go from 0 to 60 on the anger scale in mere seconds (my aunt and I have discussed her unofficial diagnosis of likely being bipolar) and consuming expired egg-beaters I sit here waiting for my second ocular migraine in the last 12 hours to subside so I can start another BarBri lecture.

Oh yeah...and we got 6 inches of snow since yesterday...isn't life just great on this hump day?!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Just getting started: 17, 18

Needs attention: 10

Lotions & Potions

2011-01-11T09:23:00.005-05:00

Yes folks I know that in the new year my posts have been...well, should we say blah! Basically they have revolved around 3 things in my life...my weight (i.e. what I'm eating/calorie content), working out (yes, I'm still on a roll here), and studying for the Bar (or my lack thereof). I probably should apologize for that, but in all essence that is what I have going on over here...trying to eat healthier, working out and sticking to it, and attempting to study for the Bar. That's basically it. It is a pretty ho-hum time in j'lynn's world!

But let us not forget that it is winter time while I'm trying to eat healthier, workout and study. What comes with the winter months, especially in my freezing neck of the woods? Snow, ice, wind, cold temps and some dry ass skin!

I'm not a girly-girl, but I'm also not an anti-girly-girl. I'm just average. I like getting pampered just like everyone else. I love a good massage, a pretty mani, a delicious pedi, and even though I get monthly facials to help with my crazy skin I love the relaxing part of it most. I buy lotions like every other chick out there. Right now on the table next to where I live in my living room there are currently 5 different lotions. A coconut body lotion, a bottle of Curel Ultra Healing Intensive lotion, a renewal lotion (which is a part of my morning and night face routine), a bottle of Pheromone Luxurious Body Moisture, and a bottle of Aveda hand relief lotion. And if you thought this was bad you should see all of the lotions and potions I have in my bathroom!!

One would think with this load of lotions that I'd have the softest, most hydrated skin of all the land, but that so is not the case. You ask, "why?" Well because even with all the lotions around me I always forget to use them! I always put them off and forget to apply lotion. I will remember at some point, but it will be at inopportune moments...like while I'm driving or on the treadmill at the gym. I'll be in the middle of a conversation and think, 'Oh, my hands are so dry I should really put some lotion on.' I'll get into bed and my dry heel will catch on my new silky sheets and I'll think, 'Damn! I need to put some lotion on my feet tomorrow.' Tomorrow comes, later comes, and that fleeting thought is gone from my addled brain leaving my skin to get dryer and dryer.

Some of my lotions have sat on my table or in my bathroom for far too long and I probably should clean them away and toss them out, but then I think of how much money I've spent on them or the fact that the bottle they are in is just too cute and looks nice where it is. So my lotion lives on while I continue through life with my dry hands, elbows and feet.

One nice thing of being off to study all this time...I'm remembering more often to lotion up. So finally...I'm using some of my lotions and potions. Getting my skin more hydrated and less icky and dry. Or else it is just another way I procrastinate from studying... Either way by the time I take the Bar I figure my skin will be picture perfect. Just in time to start drying out again come February 28th when I return back to my normal life.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Just getting started: 17, 18

Needs attention: 8, 10

Just Another Monday

2011-01-10T23:52:00.002-05:00

Even though I took the weekend off from working out at the gym I made my way back today. I'm uber proud of myself there.

My eating hasn't been fantastic through the last couple of days, but not horrible either. I also know that my little slip ups with my calorie intake is a result of being overly tired. Such as those couple of spoonfuls of sugar-free hot fudge tonight straight out of the jar...oh yeah and that football shaped brownie, which was ate in honor of the BCS Championship game! Ha!! I'm quite sure that my 3am panic attack last night/this morning didn't help either. The crazy thing was that the attack happened before I even realized that we are just 6 weeks away from The Bar.

While I continue to struggle to get a studying pattern clicking I am happy that the rest of things seem to be going well. I'm staying on top of several areas in my life so once I get this whole studying thing clicking then I think it will all be smooth sailing for me. One positive is each day I do a little bit more to get my studying to click so I'm positive that in the next day or two it will totally click in.

Positive thoughts people...positive thoughts...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Just getting started: 17, 18

Needs attention: 8, 10

The Changes Continue In 2011, But I Think For The Better

2011-01-09T05:42:00.001-05:00

Knowing that we were going to Monster Jam last night I opted to weigh in yesterday morning. Plus in reading all of the suggestions as I was getting ready to start back to my healthy living I had read that you should when in on Friday's for two reasons. The first reason was because after having a strong week you would be at your lowest and second it can help you to remain more focused over the weekend. Obviously the weekends are where so many of us consume more calories on a daily basis than we did during the weekdays. This is so true for me!

When I make it to the weekends I usually have different things going on which can pose as an additional struggle for me to maintain my daily calorie intake. So I opted for my new weigh in day for 2011 as Saturday mornings. As for why I didn't post this yesterday...hmmmm, I'm not really sure. However, I did remember to weigh in and record it, so here is the result...

Yesterday's stats...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs
Current weight: 319.6lbs
This week's results: -4lbs
Total weight lost: -43.4lbs

I was definitely hoping for a bigger number; however, I know I have to keep in mind that this wasn't a full 7 days. It is actually a reflection on a 5 day week since I didn't start till Monday. And I ate super late Friday night. Technically it was Saturday when I had dinner Friday night. So keeping those facts in mind I'm pretty damn happy. I almost lost a pound a day! :) I guess this whole eating right and going to the gym actually does work.

So even though I skipped the gym yesterday (I got up way too late, plus I knew we would be doing some extra walking with going to Monster Jam) I'm still motivated to keep up the good work. I just want to get out of the 300's so bad that I wish it would happen quicker. But I know that it will happen, soon, so I will just keep up the good work and hope that the weight keeps coming off the way it did in this last week...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 7, 9, 11, 12, 16

Just getting started: 4, 5, 6, 13, 14, 17, 18

Needs attention: 8, 10, 15

2011-01-08T14:36:00.001-05:00

Last night was just crazy. I guess it really started yesterday afternoon. I headed up to see my guy with sunglasses on and no snow in the air. About 30 minutes later...maybe not even that long...I drove into the craziest little snow storm. It was a little unbelievable. But what was more unbelievable was the fact that the car in front of me apparently was taking a stand against driving with their lights on prior to evening hours, because they refused to flip them on. At one point it was snowing so hard that I couldn't even tell if the guy was still in front of me until he actually did hit his brakes. He is lucky I was paying attention!

Of course, as always, there were two cars driving by complete and total jack-holes that thought they could dive in and out amongst the bumper-to-bumper traffic in the midst of this snow storm. I don't get this mentality! If you are behind me and there are tons of cars to my right and in front of me where do you suppose you want me to go when you climb up on my bumper? Do you think I want to be doing 40 on an expressway? It goes against the whole idea of an "express"-way, but I certainly cannot make the cars around me move any faster! And in the future please be warned that if you constantly do that I will be forced to hit my brakes a little sharper than usual and you will fish tail. If you don't believe me, please ask your buddy in the burgundy sports car with the illegally tinted windows...

After our visit I headed back home with a stop by Biggby's for my free super double-dark, sugar-free, reduced-calorie, fat-free hot chocolate with whipped, of course! I love the power of getting that free #13 off from my card. :) hehehe Of course since I have another card that I've been saving up the next one is free too. Yay me!! Then it was off to make my weekly trip to the grocery store. Of course I went to two last night. I guess I didn't feel I had spent enough money at the first one and thought the second one deserved some of my money too... I went to Wal-marts first, because I had a couple speciality items on my list that I knew were cheaper there and I knew that they would have the stuff I needed. As I was leaving there I decided to hit up Meijer in hopes that they would have restocked the fat-free gravy I like, which of course they hadn't. Before I could get out of the parking lot of Wal-marts my car was almost totaled.

Driving along at a snail's pace I was traversing by the rows and some bitch in a little white sedan who failed to realize she needed to clean off the newly accumulated snow from her side windows literally pulled into the side of me. I was over almost halfway through what would be the makeshift intersection there when she pulled out. How I did not hit her or her hit me I will never know. It had to have been either due to my extremely supendious driving ability or the grace of God! I followed that bitch down the lane and hoped and prayed that we would be side to side when we got out to the road to turn our separate ways and I hoped and prayed we would have a red light to wait at, because the closer I got to that light the angrier I got and I had made up my mind I was going to put my window down and tell her, "Bitch, you cut me off again like that again next time I will cut you." (Yes, I was channeling my inner Legally Fabulous! ) Of course we weren't next to one another and of course there was only a green light so she went right with me cussing and swearing while I turned left.

I hit Meijer a few minutes later and was in and out of there in a flash. While loading my two little bags into the backend of my Escape I heard a man's voice. This older gentlemen needed some assistance. After him explaining that I looked like a nice young woman and he had hoped I could help him out and I was the third person he asked before he went into the store and made a complete and total fool of himself he thought he would ask me for help. There may have been "pretty" and "professional looking" tossed in during his little monologue, but I can't remember. I indeed helped the man out (nothing big...just $10 to get 3 gallons of gas) and I did follow him over to the Meijer gas station to make sure he got gas and didn't go in and buy a fifth of booze. He had offered to send me the money on Monday if I gave him a number or an address to get it back to me at, but since I'd rather just be an easy mark for gas money versus a victim in my own home due to some psycho-stranger I just told him to pay it forward. With tears in his eyes and a hand shake to boot, he thanked me.

All in all I figured that my karma scale was tipped in my favor last night when I finally headed home since I didn't actually cut a bitch and I did actually help a stranger out.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 9, 12

Just getting started: 4, 5, 6, 13, 16, 17, 18

Needs attention: 7, 8, 10, 11, 14, 15

This Is More Like It

2011-01-07T06:00:00.002-05:00

So...apparently this is what happens when you actually get stuff done during the week...

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Write out my shopping list

3. Go shopping

4. Pick up the house

5. Do laundry

6. Study

7. Go to Monster Jam with the munchkin

8. Get my allergy shot

9. Workout

10. Work on finishing cleaning out our drawers & closets

11. Pick up my other computer, finally

12. Get some sleep

13. Stay motivated

14. Stay focused for next week

15. Plan out my week

16. Stay committed to my healthy living

17. Stay organized

18. Keep my shit together

Accomplished Or So It Is In My Mind

2011-01-06T23:52:00.003-05:00

Apparently I was more tired than I thought, because I ended up sleeping until about noon today. This of course got my entire day screwed up. I spent the entire day trying to get back on track, but when you've lost about 5 hours you really can't get back on track... Finally at 7pm I gave up and just chilled for the rest of the day. Of course now I really have to bust my ass this weekend with the studying...starting tomorrow!

Other than being behind with the whole study thing and not getting to anymore of our drawers and closets to finish cleaning them out I feel really good about where I am. I got so much accomplished this last week that I'm proud of myself.

Feeling proud has pushed me to remain focused on my healthy eating and with working out. I made it to the gym again today. Yay me! And ate within my calorie range. I feel like I'm walking on cloud 7...now if I could just get on top of that studying thing I would be on cloud 9.

If this week is a sign of how 2011 is going to be for me then I'm totally stoked for this year. I say bring it on 2011!! I'm in love with you so far!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35

Just getting started:

Needs attention: 26

A Hump-Day Hodge-Podge

2011-01-05T20:52:00.001-05:00

The first hump-day of the new year. Woo-hoo...

Last night like a fool I stayed up way too late. Finally getting into bed at 3:30am and set my alarm for 6:30am. I had the craziest dream that someone in my family was a serial killer and was murdering people right in left in the house if he was alone for more than 30 seconds. Of course we lived in some huge mansion with several "wings" and all my mother was talking about was how I hadn't vacuumed like my father does. I found this hysterical, because my father doesn't vacuum and no one in my family lives in a huge mansion or even close to it! I swear the stairway was wider across inside this house than the actual width of my home... In response to her complaining I yelled at her that I thought it would be more beneficial to find the psychopath relative before he found another victim then the one piece of fuzz she found on the carpet... I woke up once from the dream and fell back asleep and went right back for round #2. By then the cops were on their way and in the end I had to hold my mother back from trying to prevent psychopath relative from turning himself in, which he wanted to do...apparently he was tired of killing family members in our home. Of course my mother turned this on me telling me I must make a horrible criminal defense attorney since I just let him walk right out into the arms of the waiting police with the blood literally still on his hands. I was thinking that was better then to keep chasing him in the house to see who he murdered in our family next. No, I have no idea what this dream was about or why I couldn't seem to escape it. And no...I had not taken any Nyquil last night either...

I got up at 7, which wasn't half bad between the little amount of time I was actually in the bed and the little amount of sleep I got with a psychopath relative running around in my dreams killing my loved ones. I knew I would be dragging pretty much all day. I was amazed that I did as much Bar studying as I did this morning, especially for the lack of sleep I got! And I made it to the gym again today. Two days in a row! Now that is amazing all by itself! It would be more amazing if I had gotten more studying done this afternoon or this evening, but I'm trying to pace myself. Ha!

Of course I pulled something in my upper back at the gym. Of course it had nothing to do with actually working out... It happened while I was putting my stuff in the little cube while talking on my cell with my friend Faye. When it happened it took my breathe away and it is still sore. Hopefully a little BioFreeze tonight on it will help it work its way out, because my plan is to head back to the gym tomorrow and do weights again. Since I had just done weights yesterday my plan was just to do some time on the treadmill. I had originally thought I would kick it up a notch today to 30 mins, but I stuck with my 20 mins, because I was so late in getting to the gym this afternoon. Of course I stopped to Sonics afterwards to pick up my jumbo Diet Coke since I had consumed all 64 ozs of my water. It was really great since it was during their happy hour & it was 1/2 price. Sonics still rocks!! The only downside to this whole liquid equation is the amount of times I'm running to the bathroom. Apparently my bladder is the size of a golf ball and it apparently is no match for the 108ozs of fluids I'm sucking down in about 12 hours.

For the most part it was a pretty great day today. Well, minus the back muscle thing. Oh yeah and the munchkin's apparent recent development of alzheimer's. He has "forgotten" his homework packet at school every night this week. I'm about to come unglued on his ass. WTF dude?! So I'm hoping my threat that if he forgets it tomorrow night and doesn't have it finished in time we will not be going to Monster Jam Saturday night. It is all on him. Of course I'm a bit irritated that his babysitter, who picks him up from school everyday & knows that he has forgotten it every night this week & that it is an issue, didn't think to ask him before they left the school this afternoon. Then she tells me I should take something away from him for forgetting it and claiming it isn't his fault for forgetting it. Seriously? You couldn't ask him before you left the school today & resolve this issue? Come on, a little help here...trying to concentrate on studying for the Bar over here!

Oh yeah...and even though we took our finals way back on November 30th our grades still aren't posted. Again I ask, WTF Dude?! All I need to know is if I passed, because I now only need 1 credit out of the possible 4 I took to graduate, because I know I received the 3 from my Externship.

I cannot seem to warm up today. I don't know, maybe it is the 108 ozs of ice cold fluids running through my body or maybe it is because it is in the low 20's and I refuse to turn the heat up any higher than 69 degrees in the house. I want to boil a bucket full of water and just submerge myself in it.

Last, but not least on this hump day...none of my garbage or recycling was picked up. I guess it would have been too much trouble for the over-paid trash man to get out of his truck and put the cans where the machine arm could reach out and pick it up. I called and complained and I bet when I get up in the morning the trash and the recycling will still be full, sitting out on my street. I so need one of them there union jobs....

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33

Just getting started: 34, 35

Needs attention: 10, 26

Property Sucks; Sonics Rules!

2011-01-04T23:55:00.003-05:00

I don't know about anyone else, but my bar review is going very slow... Maybe it is because I'm working on property and I hate property. I mean I HATE PROPERTY!!

The first time I attempted law school in 2000 I went to my property professor and promised to never own property or practice property law if he would just pass me with the lowest possible grade. Yes, I hated property that much. When I went back to law school in 2006 I was totally dreading property & ended up taking it as a 2L, because I was an extended evening student. Yup, still hated property 7 years later. And now 4 years after that...still hate property!! Blah...

Today was day #2 of my healthy living~2011 and I had another great day. I made shredded BBQ chicken (breast) for dinner. It was so yummy and I ate so much, but I was still in my calorie range. Okay...maybe I hate 90 calories over today, but I was close!!

Heck, I even made it to the gym today. The first time in like forever! I didn't go all crazy today. I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and then did 10 upper body machines. Well, actually 11 because one of the machines you do 2 different exercises. Since I had completed my workout and I had drank all of my water for the day I headed over to Sonics!

Yes, we have a Sonics in my little town. I'm so excited and I will support it as much as possible so it doesn't close!! LOL I've been in love with Sonics since trips with my guy down to Tennessee to see his Grandpa. It was always a standard to go to Sonics when we left! Sort of like a little treat for me for surviving the craziness down in the hollars!

But don't worry folks...all I got was a RT44 Diet Coke! I was uber proud of myself, because I was totally starving and would have loved me some onion rings with a Sonic Cheeseburger on the side, but I was strong and drove away with my crazy big Diet Coke...

I am very proud of myself today and am hopeful to make it to the gym tomorrow too... Oh yeah...and hopefully I get done with my property review too, but I just don't see that happening since I'm moving at a snail's pace.

BTW, look at how much I've accomplished this week. I totally think 2011 is going to be my year!! :)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 27, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33

Just getting started: 28, 34, 35

Needs attention: 10, 26

Today Is My Official Start Of The New Year

2011-01-03T19:38:00.001-05:00

Yup! Always a day late and a dollar short over here. LOL

Okay...all the kidding aside. I had marked today as my official start to the new year. I can never start on the actual first, because for years in my family that was another holiday. Back when my grandparents were alive we would all get together on January 1st and have another family gathering. Maybe the prior six weeks with all the Thanksgiving, birthdays (my youngest aunt & my dad in the beginning and then later my step-son and my guy), Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Eve gatherings weren't enough, so we needed just one more day. Then in years later it became the day of recovery from the partying of the night before, the day to watch college football and the day to finish off whatever munchies we had the night before. So even though we no longer get together as a family on January 1st I still treat it like a holiday. Therefore I cannot make my fresh start on January 1st! And seriously who the heck can start getting their new year together on a Sunday (i.e. the 2nd)?!? So...that left today as my official start to the New Year and therefore the official start to my New Year Resolutions!

So this morning I woke up late, of course, hopped in the shower and started to get ready. I was nervous a bit, because I knew I had to hop on that scale and face the failing of my goal to maintain over the holidays. I know somewhere I discussed that goal, but I can't seem to locate it for now. So needless to say I was really scared of what the scale was going to say, especially since I started eating my way through the holidays right before Turkey Day and haven't stopped since. Regardless of my fear I put my big girl panties on (along with the rest of my clothes) and hopped on that scale...I was totally ready for a double digit gain...especially since I hadn't weighed myself since December 5th.

Today's stats...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 323.6lbs

The results: +7lbs

Total weight lost: -39.4lbs

Not too shabby if you ask me. Especially if you saw what all I've ate in the last month plus! It so could have been worse.

Now the next challenge of my official start of the new year was actually getting back on the band wagon of eating healthy again. This was totally hard with lots of left over goodies from Christmas. But I did it!! I'm definitely ready for this official start of the new year and for it all to continue tomorrow and beyond...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 27, 30, 31, 32, 33

Just getting started: 34, 35

Needs attention: 10, 21, 25, 26, 28, 29

Just Like In High School Or Maybe It Is OCD?!?

2011-01-02T23:39:00.002-05:00

I spent today getting my crap together. I was definitely in a place that I needed to get my stuff done so I can move forward with my studying for The Bar. It may sound strange, but I've always been this way. I can remember being in high school unable to do any homework or studying until my room was completely clean and organized. Guess that hasn't went away just yet...

I definitely feel better now that I have a handle on my stuff and got so much done. Maybe it is a sign that this new year is going to be my year.

Back to reality tomorrow...in more ways than one. Yikes! I truly hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season. Even with all the craziness of it I sure did!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 27, 30, 31, 32
Just getting started: 34, 35
Needs attention: 8, 10, 21, 25, 26, 28, 29, 33

New Year's Resolutions 2011 Edition

2011-01-01T23:58:00.003-05:00

Another year, another set of resolutions.

There is a lot I want to accomplish in 2011, but a some of it is a repeat from last year too. So here is my list for my New Year's Resolutions for 2011...

Get Healthier & Lose Weight
Pass The Bar & Get A Job As An Attorney
Enjoy Life More

So what are your resolutions?

Happy New Year Y'all!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 22, 23, 24
Just getting started: 6, 19, 20, 27, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35
Needs attention: 7, 8, 10, 21, 25, 26, 28, 29, 33

New Year's Eve

2010-12-31T23:26:00.001-05:00

Tonight New Year's Eve is being celebrated here in j'lynn's world with me & the munchkin. The munchkin labeled our "party" as lame since it was just going to be the two of us. This was within minutes of picking him up from chica's and driving to the grocery store. I was feeling the love...

Our menu consisted of:

Crackers, cheese ball, & sausage...a success
Chicken wings...a failure
Frozen cheese pizza for the munchkin...a success
Homemade pizza...semi failure
Chocolate marshmallow bark...a success
Jingle Bell cookie pizza...a success

Now I'm stuffed and we are ready to ring in the New Year.... Bring it on 2011 & Good-bye 2010!!!!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 5, 9, 11, 12, 13, 22, 23
Just getting started: 30, 31, 32, 34, 35
Needs attention: 4, 6, 7, 8, 10, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 33

A Look Back At 2010!

2010-12-31T13:29:00.003-05:00

What a year 2010 was!!

I graduated from law school (hopefully!! still waiting for those grades y'all!). I appeared on the record in several courtrooms during my Externship and basically became a lawyer this year! I found my passion during my Externship and over came my doubts of whether I have what it takes to be a litigator!! I'm so proud of myself!

I'm just amazed when I look back over these last 365 days... I've had a wonderful year regardless of all of the craziness that has happened. And I'm definitely happy to be ready to start another wonderful year... Here is to hoping that 2011 rocks even more than 2010 did!! Muah...

Last year on January 1st I listed several New Year's resolutions for 2010, so I would like to take a moment to reflect on the ones I accomplished and the ones that I didn't...

Get Healthier...

I made a resolution to continue to lose weight, eat better & healthier while working out more and drinking more water. For the most of this I accomplished this. Maybe not to the degree I would have hoped to, but I consider this one a success. I also made a resolution to test my blood sugar more regularly, which I failed at. I think I've gotten too comfortable in my belief that I have this under control and stopped testing even daily. I did get my skin much more under control for the majority of the year. I'm currently fighting a huge breakout on my left jaw line right now, but that is due to a switch my facial girl and I tried, which failed. So I consider this a success too. As for the sleep resolution to get on a better sleep pattern/schedule I think I was more successful on this than not. It was difficult sometimes though, but I think I got more sleep this year than the prior years, so that is great!

Get My Finances Together...

I did make a budget, but rarely stuck to it, but I was able to reduce my debt by about $3,500, stop using my credit cards and pay off BarBri & Kaplan. I consider this a total success and I accomplished this resolution!!

Get More Organized...

I definitely felt much more organized in 2010, so this too was a success in my book. Of course this is a constant struggle in my life. I love to be organized and I always think there is more that can be done to get better organized.

Better Communication...

I think this was a success too and an accomplished resolution in my book. There were times throughout the year where I faltered, but I think overall this was a success. I hope my family and friends would agree, especially my munchkin & my guy! How about my blogging buddies? Do you think this was a success?? :)

Enjoy Life...

This was definitely accomplished in 2010!! I definitely enjoyed life more this year. I laughed more than I can remember in years prior. I cried more, but usually in a good way...in a cleansing way. I definitely danced and sang more too! I hope I was a better mom this year and this will always be something I resolve to do better each and every year for the rest of my life...

My Last Friday To-Do List Of 2010

2010-12-31T04:44:00.004-05:00

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Finish shopping

2. Finish making cookies with the munchkin

3. Celebrate New Year's Eve with the munchkin

4. Hang the munchkin's pictures

5. Pick up the house

6. Do laundry

7. Set up my study schedule/calendar

8. Study

9. Pick up my script

10. Pick up the munchkin's dry cleaning

11. Write out my bills

12. Balance my checkbook

13. Get my allergy shot

14. File my papers

15. Finish going through my papers that have piled up lately

16. Write my guy

17. Write my park management

18. Write my "bitch" letter about issues at my guy's faciity

19. Write a follow-up letter about my guy's classes

20. Work on my guy's next PB hearing letter

21. Make some follow up calls on my guy's behalf

22. Update my December budget

23. Update my January budget

24. Update my calendar

25. Workout

26. Finish cleaning out our drawers and closets

27. Finish my thank you notes

28. Reschedule my next hair appointment

29. Reschedule my OB/GYN appointment with the new doc

30. Get motivated

31. Get focused for next week

32. Plan out my week

33. Re-commit to my healthy living

34. Get organized

35. Get my shit together

Starting A Little Early With My NYE Celebrations

2010-12-30T23:43:00.001-05:00

Due to the current circumstances of my guy's location we are unable to celebrate holidays on the days they actually occur, so we usually do them a day or two early. Tonight was our New Year's Eve celebration. :) Tomorrow night I will celebrate New Year's Eve with the munchkin. This way I have all of the important men in my life covered... ;) And I'm able to wish them both a Happy New Year!

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 13, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 8, 9, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18, 24, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35

Needs attention: 14, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 32

Productivity: Positive & Negative

2010-12-29T23:56:00.006-05:00

Today was pretty productive, but probably not the right stuff. But I know as soon as I have my other crap together then I can focus better on the important stuff...i.e. The Bar. Of course if I don't stop coughing/congestion and the ringing in my head I may be committed soon. Blah...

Yes, this is how quickly my positivity can go to negativity folks...

Consider it done: 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 13, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 8, 9, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18, 24, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35

Needs attention: 3, 14, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 32

Yet Again

2010-12-28T23:57:00.003-05:00

I have a sinus infection. I couldn't seem to get rid of the cold I had a couple of weeks ago completely and after practically falling asleep while taking my 2nd BarBri test today I started to know that I had another sinus infection. I had considered waiting a couple of days to see if maybe I was just really tired and getting some extra sleep would help, but when I got done at the dentist's office tonight I decided to just run next door to Urgent Care and pick up some antibiotics. I'm definitely glad I did, especially since my head hurts worse now than earlier. It would have just kept getting worse, but now I just wish the pills would work much quicker...

Since this was day #2 at BarBri I had hoped to be more "together" but between the mall run yesterday and the doctor office hopping I did tonight I haven't had a chance to get myself more together, so I'm hoping tomorrow I will feel much better and be able to get tons done... Eventually I have to get my life back on track, right?!

Consider it done: 1, 7, 13, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 4, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 24

Needs attention: 3, 5, 6, 11, 12, 14, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35

It Has Been A Rough Day Here

2010-12-27T23:59:00.003-05:00

It actually started after midnight last night. I couldn't sleep very well last night so I got up to print out the map to my first day of BarBri. And this is when the bottom started to fall out...my computer screen was black. Nothing was happening. The key board lit up, the little tell tale light showed it was on and you could hear the hum, but the screen was darker than night. I hoped that I had just ran into a moment of insanity and forgot how to turn my computer on correctly. So I shut it off and went back to bed. I finally fell asleep, but it was an up and down sort of night...

I got up this morning, showered, got dressed and then tried to turn my computer on again. All the while hoping and praying that it would work. But alas...nothing had changed. Same thing...one very black screen. I knew what this meant...a trip to the Apple store this afternoon was now on my list of things to do.

I made my way to BarBri, almost late, of course. I suffered through the almost 6 hours and was able to chat with my LSBFF and from there I headed to the craziest mall ever!! What mall has to have the local PD directing traffic two days after Christmas?!? Seriously?!? I made my way to the Apple Store and finally made my way to a technician who informed me that the central nervous system or something akin to it was toast and it would take a minimum of 7 days to fix it. WHAT?!? 7 days??? How the hell am I suppose to be without a computer for 7 days while I'm in the midst of BarBri?!? So after some window shopping waiting to talk to my aunt we decided that I had to have a computer, so I went back into the Apple Store and bought a new computer.

It really is a bitter sweet purchase. I have the computer I wanted, but this just wasn't the time to blow that kind of money on my credit card. Regardless I'm plugged back in and up and running. However, I didn't get much else done today with this entire snafu. Oh wait...mother nature made her appearance this morning too. Guess that was one thing I accomplished today too...my bad. ;)

Consider it done: 1, 7, 13, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 4, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 24

Needs attention: 3, 5, 6, 11, 12, 14, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35

Christmas Aftermath

2010-12-26T23:09:00.001-05:00

Well, first of all I want to report I did not shank anyone over Christmas. That is definitely a plus in my column. But of course I ran my mouth, several times, so here is a little recap of our Christmas...

Christmas Eve Day...
Well...after spending 5 hours of making homemade Italian meatballs I was up for nothing additional and was very much behind! The munchkin decorated the cut-out cookies and agreed to put off making our 3 other cookies to another day. Then we went to Christmas Eve mass, which took well over 2 hours... It was brutal.

Christmas Eve...
It is tradition in our family to go to my mom's to celebrate with the family. Of course we were late, because I still had to come home and finish getting the gifts together and wrapped after mass. At this point in life I basically just threw the stuff together, called it good enough and we made our way to my mom's. I pulled up, parked behind my parents' vehicles and I had a glimmer of hope that my bro & his family no-showed. But while we were getting out of the car he drove up and upon seeing me parked, apparently in the spot he was in prior, slammed his car in to reverse and rammed his car backwards to park further away. Then instead of helping either the munchkin or I with hauling stuff in he tried to make it a foot race to the door, without saying a word to me. Whatever! I'm glad to see his ol' lady's attitude is rubbing off on him. Once we were in the house my youngest aunt pulls me into the bathroom to tell me she suspects that my bro's wife is pregnant again. (Just as I predicted...a baby w/i 18 months of their fake wedding back in June,) We make our way through the presents then a huge spread of food. My bro & his family leave without announcing the pregnancy, which is their MO. I don't get why they never tell anyone that they are having a kid...hello this is her 3rd and his 5th...why hide it now?! At least this time they are both married...to one another this time. I confronted my mom in a stealth manner and she blurted out that my aunt was correct... I think it is funny that my mom gets pissed when I ask her if my brother has knocked someone up! Brahahahahahahaha Whatever....

Of course while the gifts were being passed out when I opened a gift from my mom I asked her if she was in need of a new ankle bracelet, because she bought me one and I don't wear jewelry. She didn't find it funny. I did!! What's the point of buying me jewelry?! I don't wear it. I haven't worn jewelry in years. The only jewelry I've worn in the past 15 years was my wedding rings. And the only jewelry I have plans to wear in the future is an engagement ring and wedding rings, but till someone drops to one knee I'll be jewelry free. It just isn't my "thang." Then when I opened my bro's family's gift to me I stated I was getting a complex since all they've given me in the last 3 years for Christmas is stuff to make my house smell nicer.

Christmas Morning...
The munchkin did his usual ripping open of gifts and just kept saying he must be dreaming. Which I totally love!! He is so cute. I'm so happy that he still believed this year!! Santa even thanked him for still believing in him! ;)

Christmas Dinner...
As usual I had the family Christmas dinner and as I figured the bro's family didn't attend. This year though my ham got dry, which sucked. But outside of that everything went well. The turkey was picture perfect!! Then everyone left by 8:30pm and I was in the bed before 11pm. The munchkin however wanted to stay up all night, which I let him...I found him in my bed at 3:30am this morning. He slept till 11:30am this morning.

The Day After...
The munchkin and I spent the day at home today. I didn't get as much done today as I had hoped, but it was a nice relaxing day. And now it is on to BarBri tomorrow...

Consider it done: 1, 7, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 4, 10, 15, 16, 24

Needs attention: 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 34

Two Gatherings On Christmas Day

2010-12-25T20:55:00.003-05:00

Back in the day the second half of Christmas became a birthday party for my guy. So this evening I want to take the time to wish my honey a Happy Birthday!

Honey, I hope you had a wonderful birthday... love you...

Consider it done: 1, 7, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 4, 10, 15, 16, 24

Needs attention: 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35

Wishing You All A Very Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T05:00:00.001-05:00

I want to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas!! I hope Santa is good to everyone...

With Love,

j'lynn,

the munchkin, &

my man....

Christmas Eve Wishes To Everyone...

2010-12-24T08:00:00.001-05:00

Christmas Eve is a big deal in our family. This is when we all come together and for years it was always at my grandparent's home. After they both passed away it moved to my mom's house because she was the only other grandma in our family. I hope you and yours have a Very Merry Christmas Eve!!

Okay...even though today is a holiday it is still a Friday and since I have so much to do I knew I couldn't leave the following off today's post...

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Celebrate Christmas Eve

2. Make cookies & meatballs with the munchkin

3. Go & see my guy

4. Wrap all of my gifts

5. Write out our Christmas cards

6. Write out the munchkin's pictures

7. Celebrate Christmas

8. Set up my study schedule/calendar

9. Study

10. Do laundry

11. Write out my bills

12. Balance my checkbook

13. Pick up my dry cleaning

14. Get my allergy shot

15. File my papers

16. Finish going through my papers that have piled up over the last few weeks

17. Write my guy

18. Update my December budget

19. Write my "bitch" letter about issues at my guy's facility

20. Work on my guy's next PB hearing letter

21. Write a follow-up letter about my guy's classes

22. Make some calls on my guy's behalf

23. Workout

24. Finish cleaning out our drawers and closets

25. Catch up on my emails

26. Catch up on my blog reading

27. Catch up on my TIVO backlog

28. Finish my thank you notes

29. Update my calendar

30. Get re-motivated

31. Get re-focused for next week

32. Re-commit to my healthy living

33. Plan out my week

34. Get organized

35. Get my shit together!!

Flabbergasted

2010-12-23T23:57:00.001-05:00

I am flabbergasted. I'm just in complete and total shock still... This post will certify that I am a judgmental bitch, but I've always known this so here goes...

Scenario #1) My bro & his family...
After seeing my guy tonight and finishing my Christmas shopping I picked up today's mail. In it was our Christmas card from the bro's family. I opened it up and was shocked when I saw wedding pictures from their fake wedding back in June. WTF?!?

Um...hello?! Let it go already. First of all you've been sending Christmas cards out for 3 years as a married couple, have been legally married for over a year and your fake wedding was over 6 months ago. Can you say tacky?!?

Scenario #2) My friend Faye...
I've spoken of her before and some of the situations that I've witnessed from her. A little over a week ago she BBM'd me to tell me how her car was repo'd and how she had closed her door to her boyfriend because he had cussed at her 5 y.o. daughter while screaming at her. So when she told me tonight that she was going to the boyfriend's dad's house for Christmas day while her two kids spent it with her ex-in-laws I assumed that their dad was going to be in town for the day. Needless to say I was flabbergasted when she revealed that she didn't know whether her ex-husband (the kids' dad) was going to be in town or not. Double--WTF?!?

Um...hello, again?!? You are letting your kids go to their grandparents for Christmas day without you?! And possibly without their dad too? Any other day of the year...okay. But Christmas Day?!? WTF?

All I could think when she told me this was all of the parents who cannot spend the day with their kids either due to a custody arrangement/agreement or for some other reason...always not by choice...and who would do anything to spend Christmas Day with their kids. And here she is choosing to go be with the boyfriend who she was ready to be totally done with 8 days ago instead of her kids.

I'm sorry...I don't get it. I spend hours in agony over the hours and days I have to sacrifice with my son to work, go to school, and now to study for the bar. I question whether I'm making good choices when it comes to my son, but I would never give the next two days up with my munchkin for anything. I sure as hell wouldn't have voluntarily done it to spend time with a penis who yelled the "f" word at my child eight days prior....

So yes...I am a judgmental bitch. I think my bro & s.i.l. are tacky beyond words and I think my friend is making parenting decisions that qualify as bad mothering....... Don't get me wrong. I am not perfect and I make bad choices all the time, but seriously people!! WTF?!?

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 14, 15, 16, 20, 25, 31, 33, 36, 40

Just getting started: 2, 12, 13, 18, 19, 28, 29, 30, 32, 34, 37, 38, 41, 42

Needs attention: 17, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 35, 39

Trying To Rebound

2010-12-22T22:02:00.001-05:00

When I finally made my way to bed last night I was feeling horrible. I was so achy I was in actual pain. I took a shot of Nyquil, got in the bed with two ice backs (one for my wrist that is killing me and the other for the site of my allergy shot yesterday), and finally went to sleep. I definitely felt better when I got up this morning. I was relieved about that. I almost felt like I was back to normal, pre-illness, when I got to moving finally this morning. I was sort of excited that I was back but then by this afternoon I was exhausted and in need of a nap. I was definitely disappointed, because I had huge plans for today, which I failed.

I'm usually in no rush for Christmas to come and this year I just want it over. I have so much left to do, but I just want it over. I really thought I was pretty much done with my shopping and discovered tonight that I have several gifts yet to get. I'm not really sure when I'm going to get those purchased either...

If I could stay awake the next 72 hours I might get most of my stuff done in time, but since I can't even make it a full day without a nap I just don't see this happening! Needless to say I need a lot of energy & luck for coming days...

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 14, 15, 16, 20, 25, 31

Just getting started: 2, 10, 12, 13, 18, 19, 28, 29, 30, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42

Needs attention: 9, 17, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 35, 39

Birthdays, Anniversaries, & Funerals

2010-12-21T23:56:00.003-05:00

In the last week or so my family has had a lot going on. My Dad's birthday was the 12th, my youngest aunt's birthday was the 17th and my youngest nephew's birthday was yesterday. Today's my parents wedding anniversary. All of these things are positive things in my family. Things to be celebrated.

However, my grandfather passed away yesterday morning at 4:30am. This is sad news, but he was 96 years old and lived a good life. I think he was ready to go and was at peace with what was about to happen. He went peacefully in his sleep. God rest his soul...

Yes, my grandfather passed on my nephew's birthday. The ironic thing is that his dad's great-grandmother passed away on his birthday years ago and now my nephew's great-grandfather passed away on his. Weird, huh? I thought so...

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 14, 15, 16, 20, 25

Just getting started: 2, 10, 12, 13, 18, 19, 28, 30, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42

Needs attention: 9, 17, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 29, 31, 35, 39

Overwhelmed And It Is Only Monday! Yikes!!

2010-12-20T22:47:00.004-05:00

I knew that this week was going to be a tough one with everything going on, but I think I under estimated how exhausting and overwhelming it was going to be. I have so much to do, so much I want to get done, and so little time to get it all done. I am just hopeful that I can keep it together. But I'm happy to report...no tears yet and I haven't knocked anyone out...yet. ;) How is your week shaping up?

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 20

Just getting started: 2, 8, 10, 12, 13, 18, 25, 28, 30, 32, 33, 36, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42

Needs attention: 9, 11, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 29, 31, 34, 35, 39