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From A Small Town, In The Midwest, United States
My favorite quote...We all live in hiding. In one way or another each of us conceal pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it. Others because they don't like being seen. And then there are those special cases, the ones who hide because they just want someone to care enough to look for them...Which one are you?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I Have To Get Back To Basics

This weekend I was pretty productive, but on all the wrong things... I should have focused more on my homework and studying for my two midterms scheduled for tomorrow, but I didn't. Now I just have to deal with that. I have no one to blame other than myself. So I will do my best in the next 24 hours and then deal with the consequences of that when it comes. I can't change it and can only control the present and change for the future.

I had different plans for this weekend, but it didn't turn out the way I had hoped. Friday night after going to see my guy and grocery shopping I came home and got a few things done before I realized it was already 3am and made myself to go to bed. I had tons of errands that I needed to run Saturday morning and the majority of them had to be done before 1pm, so I set the alarm in my bathroom to get up at 9am. Of course I forgot to turn it on. Opps! Then I went to bed, started to catch up on Twitter and the next thing I knew I had something under me vibrating and it was light outside. I was a little disorientated before I realized that it was my phone under me in the bed vibrating. I passed out catching up on Twitter and forgot to switch off from vibrate and also didn't set that alarm either. It was almost 11am. Opps!!

I rushed around and got all of my errands done before places closed on me except getting my oil changed, but that really wasn't necessary and I have enough miles to go in my 5,000 miles to make it to next weekend with no problem, so it was all good! I made my way back to the house by about 2:30pm. I had hoped to be home much earlier so I could get lots more done, which would let me work on drafting my flashcards for my MBE midterm while watching the Alabama football game starting at 3:30pm. Well, that didn't happen. I watched the game and did laundry while watching the game and got a few other things done, of course none of that was school related.

After Alabama lost (which was heartbreaking for both my man and I) I continued to work on getting a few things done and then my former neighbor called me late last night and chatted my ear off for almost 2 hours. Again it was another late night and I went to bed at 4:00am. I didn't really want to go to bed, because I was feeling motivation to get things done, but I made myself go. This of course lead to me not getting up until 11:40am this morning, which put me behind. I had no desire to work on homework so instead I worked on my bar application and a few other things until almost 7pm. Then I started working on homework, so I've made very little progress in that area and now I'm out of time, so I'm hopeful that tomorrow I'll go to court in the morning for my Externship and then get a few hours of studying in before I take my tests.

I think my main problem with this semester is that I'm just not mentally ready to start to even think about preparing for the bar let alone having to do it for classes. Combine that with my senioritis and I'm having issues, but I need to get it together! I think I need to take myself back to basics. I haven't felt this mentally blocked with school since my 2L year, so I need to really get my shit together. I only really have about 8 weeks of school left so I now is the time to get it together! I will take my midterms tomorrow and move on...hopefully as a better student to finish on a high note, not feeling like a schmuck!

The other area of my life that I have to get back to basics is my battle of the bulge. I knew today's weigh in was going to be horrible. Today's stats...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs
Current weight: 326lbs
This week's results: +6lbs
Total weight lost: -37lbs

I ate like crap last week and ate out a lot and when I ate out I ate a lot! So I need to get back to basics and take control back. I have no choice. What I'm doing is stupid. I'm tired of playing this back and forth game. What am I doing other than wasting time and constantly getting upset with myself? I sure as hell am not making myself feel good with this constant gain one week, lose the next, gain the following week, back and forth constantly. So I'm getting back to basics...

Consider it done:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 15, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31
Just getting started: 9, 10, 11, 32
Needs attention: 12, 16, 17, 18, 24, 25

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