Happy Frickin' Monday Y'all

Today was day #1 where all of our staff was in the same area, together.  It wound up being a horrible day.  From start to finish.  It started bad when I realized that the munchkin failed to turn in his homework on Friday.  Blah!!

I was running late, which is my MO lately.  I had to get gas, which like cost $650 to fill up.  Not really, but close enough...  I finally got to work, but had to fight with a parking space.  Why can't people park straight?  Is it that difficult?

I spent the morning printing to a printer that has since disappeared since 4pm Friday afternoon.  Who does that?  Who removes a printer that you've just told us all to sign up and print too?!?  I was so angry, because now I have print-outs floating out there in the black-hole of our network of printers.  Aaarrrgggg...  It just felt like everything I did or touched today went to crap.

I spent the afternoon taking the dep of a Plaintiff who was beyond buzzed!  I think he kept falling asleep in between my questions and his answers.  It took everything for me not to bust out laughing.

The day finished up with my nephew being admitted to the hospital for a bad infection (ears) and dehydration.

...Happy Frickin' Monday Y'all...

It Has Been A Long, Long Time~~Some Things Change, Some Things Stay The Same

I know it has been a while...a little over 3 months, but I thought I would try to make my way back. I had hoped that I would start blogging again on New Year's Day, but that didn't happen...opps!  A lot has been going on over here in my world.  So many things change and yet so many things remain the same!

There have been lots of changes with my family in the last couple of months...some for the good, some for the not so good.  Such is life...  More on that another day.

Work has gotten crazy.  I now have 370 files.  Yes, you read that correct....370 files.  50 of those are litigation files, 20 of them are what we call "subrogation" files but 7 of those I have filed suit on, and the remaining 30 I'm monitoring other attorneys and their work and serving as the "client".  To say that I am busy is an understatement!!

Being that busy at work has lead to severe stress, which has lead to tears on more than one occasion.  This may or may not have happened a few times in my office without witnesses, once with a witness, and once in my boss's office.  I know this isn't suppose to happen, but what is a girl to do when with less than 6 months into her practice she is given 370 files.  Seriously?!  I know...don't be such a girl.  Whatever!!

I'm trying my best to handle the work stress.  Some days are better than others...

So what's new in your life in the last 3+ months?!

Never My Intention

It was never my intention to blog on August 1st and not to return until 13 days later, but I've been crazy busy and pretty exhausted. My apologies to the few readers I have left. Hope you will bear with me while I continue to work through this whole new phase in my life! It will get better. I promise!

For the last five years or so I've been blessed or should I say spoiled by being able to have someone come and clean our home. Well, those good times have came to an end. I can no longer afford it nor can I justify it. So tonight I embarked on this new adventure of cleaning my own house. I'm not finished and I move really slow. Probably since I hate it so much, I'm sure. Plus I end up taking a lot of breaks. Once I put the clean sheets on my bed and vacuum I will be done with our 2 bedrooms, the munchkin's playroom and our one and only hallway, leaving the 2 bathrooms, the living room and the kitchen. Of course the last room that I will tackle is my bathroom, because it just grosses me out to clean it. Blah!!

I'm sure this whole cleaning process would be easier in my life if I would have learned how to clean when I was younger. When I was growing up my mom did not work outside of the house the majority of the time, so she did all of our cleaning while we were at school and our dad was at work. So I never even had the opportunity to watch how she cleaned or to do it with her either. We also never had chores assigned to us either, so outside of cleaning my bedroom because I was anal even as a child I did not learn how to clean and manage a home until after I was married and in my 20's and after taking a five-year break I feel like I'm having to learn it all over again.

Since this is posting close to 2am Saturday night/Sunday morning, please don't think I've been trying cleaning all day and night. I didn't even start this process until after 10:00pm tonight and I've also watched some TV in between too! LOL I multi-task during cleaning, but probably not in the best way.

Happy Independence Day!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July and a beautiful holiday, long weekend! I know we did. I got tons accomplished this weekend, which is exactly what I needed to do this weekend. We also had a wonderful family cookout over at mom & dad's yesterday, which is always nice.

I thought I would finally make my return to the blog on this Independence Day. Sorry I've been away so long, but the last several weeks have been a very trying time for me after I injured my back. Now I feel like I've finally came out on the other side and am doing so much better. Did you know Flexeril can make you border-line homicidal? Well, trust me...it can and it isn't pretty! After I finally figured out that my muscle relaxer was making me a much bigger bitch than normal I had to get off it immediately and then spend the next couple of weeks digging out of the dark hole I found myself in. But now I'm better & I'm back...Happy Independence Day for sure!

Not Going As Planned, But I'm Taking It One Day At A Time

Since I haven't posted in over a week you can probably guess by now that my week did not go as planned last week. I actually made it through last Monday a little better than I thought I would... I didn't bum a smoke off from anyone, which is a huge surprise. I didn't stop and by any smokes or anything. I felt good about it all as I went to bed last Monday and prepared for the week ahead. Then Tuesday morning happened and life went to hell very quickly...

Last Tuesday morning I got up, got ready for work and in my final preparations of doing my hair I dropped a sheet of bobby pins, bent down to pick them up and then proceeded to brush my teeth. That is when I realized that I couldn't stand up straight. I had messed up my back, big time. Regardless I went to work. With the help of my aunt I got myself in the car with ice packs behind my back. Let me tell ya, going to work was not one of my brighter ideas.

Once I was at work I knew I was in trouble. I couldn't stand up, I couldn't walk. I couldn't move my legs without physically picking them up and moving them. I was in a bad way... Finally I left at 2pm and headed to the doctor who then sent me to the hospital for x-rays of my spine. By the time I got home after being twisted like a pretzel for my x-rays I wasn't sure if I could get out of the car and into the house. Going up my steps put me in more pain and by the time I was in the house I was sick to my stomach and in tears.

I spent the next several days in the bed, taking pain pills and muscle relaxers. I think by Saturday I was able to sit up for a few hours at a time and of course I had the family cookout planned for Sunday. Plus I needed to be ready to return to work today!

Sunday went off without a hitch. Or should I say not too big of a hitch...just a tornado warning at the end, which cleared everyone out of here in a jiffy! LOL Even though Monday was the actual holiday all I managed to accomplish was feeling sick as a dog and sore as could be. I still tried to take a moment to reflect and give thanks to those men and women who gave their lives for my freedom and I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day!!

I returned to work today and requested...er...demanded that my doctor order PT for me, because I remain in pain. Hopefully the pain disappears very soon. One good thing about being in bed for almost a week...you remain smoke free, so tonight is night #8 of being smoke free. As for the rest...I'm just taking it one day at a time.

It Is Official

Today has been an exciting day!! First I woke up really early this morning to catch some of The Royal Wedding. Did you watch? I thought it was beautiful and romantic and definitely at the level of a storybook fairy tail. I just adore both Duke & Duchess William & Kate! Even though I was up before the crack of dawn I was still a little late to work. Opps. I place the blame on the Royal Family. Ha!

For the first time this week I actually got a little work done today, but 20 minutes before I was scheduled to leave the big boss man came by and told me to leave so I could get ready for my swearing in. He didn't have to tell me twice. I closed up shop, called my boss and told her that her boss' boss told me I could go, and hit the road.

I got home and discovered my son was in a horrible mood and considered canceling my ceremony, but luckily he shaped up by the time we entered the courtroom. And within minutes with only one slip up I was officially sworn into the State Bar!! I was so nervous and very happy that it was finally done! So now it is official...I'm a real attorney! And through it all I was reminded of how great a life I really do have! I'm surrounded by the most loving and wonderful friends and families and am so grateful for each and everyone of them even if they do drive me crazy from time to time.

After the ceremony I definitely had a few drinks and by the time I got back in the car and looked in the mirror I realized that my eye makeup was practically half-way down my face. This is usually a sign that I've had a few drinks. Apparently the alcohol makes my mascara and eyeliner runny!! Now I'm home, exhausted and doing laundry. How quickly everything goes back to normal.

Trying To Heal By Venting & Getting My Space Back

Okay...this is a long ass post and this is all about me and an issue that I just can't get past. I felt like I needed to vent, get it off my chest in order to move on. Yes, by the time you finish reading this post you may call me a judgmental bitch, because that doesn't both me at all. I know I'm a judgmental bitch...I own it and I'm okay with it. If you opt to skip this after a paragraph or so...I'm okay with that too, because this one is for me more than you. So here goes...

I have never held it secret or even quiet that I have major issues with some of my family members, especially my bro and his wife. There has been a long brewing battle with them, especially her. We do not fight even though I have thought of it and sometimes dreamt of it. I know that I'm allowing them to take up too much space in my head, my heart, and more importantly in my soul, so this post is my way of venting and letting it all go. I also know that some of my issue is jealousy, which is crazy, but it is what it is and I'm woman enough to admit it, because in all honesty some of this should be happening for me and it just hasn't happened yet. I know it will happen all in good time, but some of this crap just doesn't help.

Let me give you some background here. My bro and I have never been uber close. There are 8 years between us and light years between our mentalities. I know some of this is because of the way we grew up. My bro is my dad's son. My dad is not really my dad. Before my mom meet the man who would become my dad she had me. I was never given an opportunity to know my real father. My mom didn't even tell my father she was pregnant or that I existed until I was 18 months old. You see my mom was the "other woman" and my father had a wife and five sons from his marriage. I think my mom held long seeded hatred for my father, because when she finally told him that I existed she told him that if one day I showed up on his doorstep to spit in his face and spew my hatred at him she would back me. Um, I'm not sure why I would stand on this man's doorstep and spit in his face or spew hatred at him...it was never his fault as to why he wasn't in my life. That was my mother's choice and neither he nor I had a choice in the matter and we had to live with her choice.

It was always clear while I was growing up that my mother had convinced herself that my dad was my "real" dad. It was also made clear in my mind that my family didn't include me. Things were only done as a family when I wasn't home and it was just the three of them, my mom, my dad, & my bro. It wasn't all sunshine for my bro either, because my mom and dad are very selfish people. They always put the two of them above everything and everyone else, including my bro & I. The next step on the food chain was if the occasion called for a family was my mom, dad and my bro. I was lucky though because I had my Nana & Papa and I always retreated to them. They were my rock and they are who helped make me who I am today.

Once we were grownups and I was married and had my munchkin & my step-munchkin my bro married my x-sil and had a family, 2 beautiful boys. After their second son was born their marriage came to an end. This was sad, because I loved my x-sil and those 2 boys. The year was 2007. On Feb. 16th my bro filed for divorce and moved back in with my parents. I supported him the best I could and even paid for his divorce. It wasn't an angry divorce and didn't turn bad until the end of February, early March, when my bro moved in with a girl before his wife was even served with the divorce papers.

The new girl was kept pretty secretive from the whole family. She always has been. I'm not sure why. No one had ever met her and all that people knew was that she had a son that was born 22 days after my bro's second son. The first time I met this new girl was in April 2007. They drove up to get me after my going away party when I left my job in hell. I was too drunk to drive home so they came up to get me and bring me and my car home. I was told I wasn't allowed to look at her...she drove her car back and my bro drove me and my car back. I paid to fill up her gas tank before they dropped me and my car at home and I was reminded at the gas station and then when I got home that I wasn't allowed to look at her. I was like...whatever! I was drunk and I didn't care. At some point I suspected that the new girl was pregnant and confronted my mom over it. She confirmed that I was right and that the baby was due in mid-December. Um, hello...I can count too and according to my calculations you conceived mid-late March. Within 6 weeks of his filing for divorce.

Christmas time arrived that year and I received a Christmas card from the new girl, my bro, her 1 year old and "new baby" who wasn't even here yet. It was sent from them as Mr. & Mrs. This I found beyond tacky since he still wasn't divorced. I was still in shock that a single mom would move my bro into her home with her less than 6 month old son when she allegedly didn't know him prior to his filing for divorce. (Read: I've never bought the story and suspect that her son may actually be my bro's kid & they were having an affair as my x-sil suspected.) I mean hello...you don't know him. He could have been a child molester. If you want to be an idiot when it's just you fine, but you have a child and you should be more responsible. My bro finally told me the night his 3rd (or 4th depending on who you believe) son was born that they were expecting. Now that takes class, doesn't it?

The second time I met the new girl was at my mom's on Christmas Eve. Baby #3 was 3 or 4 days old (I debate the DOB, but that is just me because I remember him calling me on the 20th and everyone else says it was the 21st...whatever, neither here nor there). This was the same night that my x-sil allowed my mom to have the 2 boys to spend Christmas Eve with the family. There was a lot of hatred on my part that night, because the new girl came and picked up my oldest nephew and took him to their house before celebrating at my mom's. They didn't take my other nephew to as they said "celebrate Christmas as a family." I was beyond livid!! You don't get to pick and choose which of your other children you are going to include in your "new family." Needless to say when they returned to the house, the five of them, and I was holding my pocket baby (nephew #2) I said nothing to her. I didn't even look at baby #3. They left within a couple hours but not before treating my two nephews like crap.

That January my mother had to have surgery on the shoulder she broke at my house over the prior summer. I was doing her grocery shopping when I ran into the 3 of them (her son was in daycare) and while my bro and I stood there chatting the new girl stood there with her hand up next to her eyes blocking her from seeing me and her face turned away from me. (Read: she thinks she is still in high school.) Yes, this was the 3rd time I meet her in the 11 months since they were together.

No one in the family knew they were getting married until my family was at a family wedding and the grandmother of the bride, my mom's 2nd cousin, congratulated my bro to my mom and when my mom asked what she was talking about she told my mom that his wedding license was in the paper the day before. Nice way for your mom to find out that you are getting married. So him and the new girl got married at the courthouse some day in the midst of the drama with my two nephews. So my bro terminated his rights to my 2 nephews and married wife #2 with two new kids.

Fast forward to the email I received last spring of the new girl in a wedding dress asking me what I thought of her dress. This lead to a conversation of my confusion since they were already married and her telling me that they were having a real wedding (read: fake) and the reasons weren't satisfactory in my book. They weren't doing it because they loved one another and wanted to share that love with their friends and family...no, they were doing it because, according to the new girl, "I want to get dressed up and have my picture taken too" referring to my x-sil. That is a mature reason, huh? Then the date of the fake wedding came out and it was for when my munchkin's birthday party was scheduled and it was the day before my munchkin's birthday. Instead of an apology of jacking my son's birthday I was told "Well, I guess you'll have to move your son's birthday."

The day of the fake wedding arrived and the new girl made the mistake of running her mouth at one of my salons and telling my face girl "I fucking hate my fucking fiance. He has ruined my entire fucking life. I fucking hate him." That's love on your wedding day...fake or not. At the wedding where I dreamed of spilling a glass of red wine down the front of her fake wedding dress instead she walked up behind where I was sitting and pulled a chunk of my up-do down and asked if I had my hair done. The only reason I didn't knock her out was because I was sober and I felt a little sad for her...no-one from her family showed up to the fake wedding. And I mean no one....her parents didn't show, her 2 bros didn't show, her grandparents didn't show, no aunts, uncles or cousins either. (Read: See, even her own family doesn't like her.) I do however believe that mother nature showed up to warn them that this isn't the best decision, because there was a tornado the night of their fake wedding. This is a sign y'all...

The next time I saw them was on Christmas Eve where we deduced that the new girl is pregnant again. This normally isn't a big deal, but you see I'm the only grand-daughter, all of my cousins are boys, and none of what my mother considers the biological grand-children had a girl yet so after I filed for divorce and my x-sil was pregnant with baby #1 my bro threw it in my face not in the nicest manner that he will have a girl before me. Um, I think the fact that you are having sex and I'm not greatly increases your chances. So even though my 2 cousins have girls (the one my mom considers biological had a daughter in September and the one my mom doesn't consider biological~her bro adopted him when he was 5 after marrying my aunt~has a daughter who is going to be 15 this year) I know that my bro is adding to his child number in hopes that they have a girl before I do. Again, not hard...I'm still not having sex and don't have a plan for a baby in the next year or two. Duh!

So the latest compilations of crap that has finally broken me with being involved with my bro and the new girl are 3 separate incidents...

Incident #1 when the new girl commented that she would gladly give away her oldest son than the youngest son on Christmas Eve...as that "step-kid" who is known not to be biologically the father's child this hit me really hard. Aren't you suppose to stand up stronger for your child who you are the only real parent in the household to? Not be willing to toss him under the bus quicker than your other children who happen to belong to or have been admitted to belong to your spouse. Yes, I'm very sensitive to this situation and maybe too much too, but this was just uncalled for.

Incident #2 is when I was getting prank calls from the county jail and I called my mom to make sure it wasn't someone in the family and when she called my bro his response was, "I'm sorry to disappoint my sister, but it isn't me." How dare you think the fact that you are not in jail disappoints me. You are an idiot and a jackass.

Incident #3...throwing it in my face how you are moving into a 3,000+ square foot house in a ritzy subdivision while you remind me I'm still living in a single wide trailer. And of course the subdivision is one of the few that I have looked at and hoped to eventually relocate to as the munchkin and I move up in the world with all of my hard work in school, etc. Since I would rather live in a box than near them it has been crossed off my list. So upon learning this news in such a distasteful manner and with the rudeness that only my bro can invoke I have deleted their contact information from my phone and figure the only time I will really have to deal with any of them is maybe on Christmas Eve. So I say...well dear ex-bro and skanky x-new sil you are moving today to your new, rented "luxury" house that you can't afford (I know how much you make and how much your bills are and I do judge, so deal with it) and mother nature is with me, yet again. Because after our blizzard on Wednesday where we received 9 inches of snow, she showed up again today, your moving day, and is giving us another 3-6 inches.

Just another sign I say...a warning sign that this "marriage" is doomed and needs to stop. For God's sake even mother nature is telling you to end it. Duh!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3

Just getting started: 4, 5, 6

Needs attention: 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15

It All Started With A Little Blue Puddle

This all started Saturday night after my wonderful bubble bath and right before I went to bed when I noticed a little puddle of blue under the back of my toilet. I discovered that the tank on my toilet was leaking. It was 1:30am Saturday night. Nothing I could do about it and no one to call to help. And it wasn't serious enough Sunday to call my plumber. Um, hello? Paying a plumber on a Sunday? No thank you!

Monday morning I called my other aunt and then my uncle because it wasn't like I was able to afford even a phone call to anyone, because I couldn't pay them when they came out. While talking to them I also mentioned that my washer was having serious issues too. It was making a horrible noise going into the spin cycle and wasn't spinning all the water out and I would have to toss in an extra spin before putting them in the dryer. My wonderful uncle told me to make the necessary calls and they would take care of it. I was relieved...

In between getting this all together Monday morning I put some sausage and sauerkraut over. I was so hungry for it I couldn't wait all day for dinner to roll around. I hit the gym that afternoon and waited and waited and waited for my aunt and munchkin to get here so we could eat! I weighed out my sausage, measured my sauerkraut and sat down to finally eat. Even though I had cooked it all day, it wasn't done enough. Dinner failure. I cooked it again the rest of the night and resorted back to my chips & dips again for dinner. When it was finally done I tried it again. No go! There was no taste. How did I mess up a dish that I've made a hundred plus times? Needless to say I was not happy.

Off to bed I went, disappointed in my dinner, but I also knew I had to be up early for repair guys #1 who were scheduled to be here at 8:00am Tuesday morning. Fast forward to the following morning...repair guys quickly fix my toilet (the tank was lose...who knew that could happen...), so I figure while they are here and since I kept the cost so low I mentioned that it appeared my kitchen faucet had started to leak where the nozzle attached. After a quick look they discover it is more than a little leak...it was also leaking under the sink way in the back too. Of course that wasn't fixable, it had to be replaced. Out of the blue Mr. Fix-It asked me when was the last time I had checked my hot water tank...um, if it had ever been "checked" it would have been before my guy and I split up in '04. So he offers to check it and of course, thank God he did, because it was leaking. God, help me...

So a quote of $1,200 later to replace both my kitchen faucet and hot water tank I figured my day was pretty well shot! Of course this was normally bad all in of itself, but when you also figure that not only did I have to clear out from under my skin so they could replace my faucet I also had to clear out around my back door (a/k/a my laundry and pantry room) and my closet. You must remember...I live in a trailer so every room is small and I have everything packed in tight!! You may wonder why I would have to clear out around my back door, so the guys could drain my hot water tank. You then may ask what my bedroom closet has to do with this mess...well, that's because my hot water tank is impaneled inside my bedroom closet. Convenient, huh?

So four hours and several dollars later, I had the pleasure of putting my kitchen, laundry room, and bedroom back together. I was so excited I could barely contain myself... I did use the opportunity to clean out all of the bakeware I had stuffed under the sink. Seriously, do I need 9 glass baking dishes, 5 of which are the size?! Or 12 cookie sheets?! I didn't think so either. By the time I finished putting everything back together, which of course included sweeping and mopping part of my kitchen floor and my little pantry plus vacuuming my bedroom closet and the surrounding area, it was time to get the munchkin because I had to take him to karate.

Throughout the day I knew I had to take the munchkin to karate and after we would go to dinner with my aunt and every time something went wrong or became much messier than anticipated I just kept telling myself that I could handle it, because tonight I was going to partake in a tall Sunset Passion Colada or two while enjoying Parrot Isle Jumbo Coconut Shrimp at Red Lobster, which I've been craving for a few weeks. Knowing this helped me get through everything yesterday. After karate we headed to Red Lobster just to see that the restaurant was all dark with 3 utility vans outside and a note on the door explaining they were closed due to electrical problems.

I couldn't win yesterday... We ended up going to the China Buffet in town, which was yummy, but since I was so set on my Red Lobster meal nothing was satisfying to me. Of course this caused me to eat more than I should have. And today? Well, now I just sit here waiting for the Sear's Repair Guy to get here to look at that racket machine...opps, I meant washing machine! He should be here between 1pm & 5pm. Of course that means closer to 5pm than 1pm, especially since it is already 2pm...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Just getting started: 17, 18

Needs attention: 10, 11

This Would Be Why I'm Eating Chips & Dips Tonight...

So last night as I was going to bed I realized that my toilet has sprung a leak. This after I listened to my washer make a weird noise all day. Just great!!

Of course this would happen! I haven't worked or gotten a paycheck in over a month. Due to my wonderful work screwing me on not being able to take out my 401K and the IRS making it impossible to file my taxes until mid-February, even if I had my W-2's which I of course I don't~thanks again work!~, I'm totally living...er mooching off my aunt!! I've taken her last 2 checks from her, she's paid my two credit card bills and likely will pay my cellphone/internet bill, and all I have left in my checking account is $150.

Now I get to call two different repair people tomorrow and try to mooch off my other aunt and uncle. FML!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Just getting started: 17, 18

Needs attention: 10, 11

Planning Fails

So often I make big plans and so often they fall through. I'm not talking about major plans, but more about what I'm going to accomplish and when. For instance...my plan starting Monday morning was to get up a little earlier than I have been since I've been off "studying" so I could was my hair and have my mom braid it when she came over to get the munchkin off to school. Well, this didn't happen until this morning. But hey...it finally happened so that should count for something, right?

Or for the last 3 nights I've planned on going to bed early or at the least a decent time. Well, that hasn't happened yet. But tonight is another night.

Or another example was that I would get up this morning, totally motivated from staying up till 1am last night watching The Biggest Loser, and eat a nice, healthy breakfast and hit the ground running. I did wake up...motivated...and fixed a wonderful breakfast. I chopped green peppers, onions, ham and a little turkey to put in with my egg-beaters. I made a big bowl of a yummy breakfast all within my calorie target for my breakfast. Sat down to eat it, ate half of it, realizing that my egg-beaters were seriously expired and tossed the rest. Now I don't know if anything would have really happened had I ate all of it nor do I know if anything will happen from eating half of it, but once I had that information each bite I took was harder and harder to swallow. Of course now I sit here with the fear that I'll start feeling sick due to my inability to use things when I actually buy them versus letting things expire and throwing caution to the wind while consuming them.

So after a nice little argument with my mom due to her ability to go from 0 to 60 on the anger scale in mere seconds (my aunt and I have discussed her unofficial diagnosis of likely being bipolar) and consuming expired egg-beaters I sit here waiting for my second ocular migraine in the last 12 hours to subside so I can start another BarBri lecture.

Oh yeah...and we got 6 inches of snow since yesterday...isn't life just great on this hump day?!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Just getting started: 17, 18

Needs attention: 10

Today Is My Official Start Of The New Year

Yup! Always a day late and a dollar short over here. LOL

Okay...all the kidding aside. I had marked today as my official start to the new year. I can never start on the actual first, because for years in my family that was another holiday. Back when my grandparents were alive we would all get together on January 1st and have another family gathering. Maybe the prior six weeks with all the Thanksgiving, birthdays (my youngest aunt & my dad in the beginning and then later my step-son and my guy), Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and New Year's Eve gatherings weren't enough, so we needed just one more day. Then in years later it became the day of recovery from the partying of the night before, the day to watch college football and the day to finish off whatever munchies we had the night before. So even though we no longer get together as a family on January 1st I still treat it like a holiday. Therefore I cannot make my fresh start on January 1st! And seriously who the heck can start getting their new year together on a Sunday (i.e. the 2nd)?!? So...that left today as my official start to the New Year and therefore the official start to my New Year Resolutions!

So this morning I woke up late, of course, hopped in the shower and started to get ready. I was nervous a bit, because I knew I had to hop on that scale and face the failing of my goal to maintain over the holidays. I know somewhere I discussed that goal, but I can't seem to locate it for now. So needless to say I was really scared of what the scale was going to say, especially since I started eating my way through the holidays right before Turkey Day and haven't stopped since. Regardless of my fear I put my big girl panties on (along with the rest of my clothes) and hopped on that scale...I was totally ready for a double digit gain...especially since I hadn't weighed myself since December 5th.

Today's stats...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 323.6lbs

The results: +7lbs

Total weight lost: -39.4lbs

Not too shabby if you ask me. Especially if you saw what all I've ate in the last month plus! It so could have been worse.

Now the next challenge of my official start of the new year was actually getting back on the band wagon of eating healthy again. This was totally hard with lots of left over goodies from Christmas. But I did it!! I'm definitely ready for this official start of the new year and for it all to continue tomorrow and beyond...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 27, 30, 31, 32, 33

Just getting started: 34, 35

Needs attention: 10, 21, 25, 26, 28, 29

Christmas Aftermath

Well, first of all I want to report I did not shank anyone over Christmas. That is definitely a plus in my column. But of course I ran my mouth, several times, so here is a little recap of our Christmas...

Christmas Eve Day...

Well...after spending 5 hours of making homemade Italian meatballs I was up for nothing additional and was very much behind! The munchkin decorated the cut-out cookies and agreed to put off making our 3 other cookies to another day. Then we went to Christmas Eve mass, which took well over 2 hours... It was brutal.

Christmas Eve...

It is tradition in our family to go to my mom's to celebrate with the family. Of course we were late, because I still had to come home and finish getting the gifts together and wrapped after mass. At this point in life I basically just threw the stuff together, called it good enough and we made our way to my mom's. I pulled up, parked behind my parents' vehicles and I had a glimmer of hope that my bro & his family no-showed. But while we were getting out of the car he drove up and upon seeing me parked, apparently in the spot he was in prior, slammed his car in to reverse and rammed his car backwards to park further away. Then instead of helping either the munchkin or I with hauling stuff in he tried to make it a foot race to the door, without saying a word to me. Whatever! I'm glad to see his ol' lady's attitude is rubbing off on him. Once we were in the house my youngest aunt pulls me into the bathroom to tell me she suspects that my bro's wife is pregnant again. (Just as I predicted...a baby w/i 18 months of their fake wedding back in June,) We make our way through the presents then a huge spread of food. My bro & his family leave without announcing the pregnancy, which is their MO. I don't get why they never tell anyone that they are having a kid...hello this is her 3rd and his 5th...why hide it now?! At least this time they are both married...to one another this time. I confronted my mom in a stealth manner and she blurted out that my aunt was correct... I think it is funny that my mom gets pissed when I ask her if my brother has knocked someone up! Brahahahahahahaha Whatever....

Of course while the gifts were being passed out when I opened a gift from my mom I asked her if she was in need of a new ankle bracelet, because she bought me one and I don't wear jewelry. She didn't find it funny. I did!! What's the point of buying me jewelry?! I don't wear it. I haven't worn jewelry in years. The only jewelry I've worn in the past 15 years was my wedding rings. And the only jewelry I have plans to wear in the future is an engagement ring and wedding rings, but till someone drops to one knee I'll be jewelry free. It just isn't my "thang."

Then when I opened my bro's family's gift to me I stated I was getting a complex since all they've given me in the last 3 years for Christmas is stuff to make my house smell nicer.

Christmas Morning...

The munchkin did his usual ripping open of gifts and just kept saying he must be dreaming. Which I totally love!! He is so cute. I'm so happy that he still believed this year!! Santa even thanked him for still believing in him! ;)

Christmas Dinner...

As usual I had the family Christmas dinner and as I figured the bro's family didn't attend. This year though my ham got dry, which sucked. But outside of that everything went well. The turkey was picture perfect!! Then everyone left by 8:30pm and I was in the bed before 11pm. The munchkin however wanted to stay up all night, which I let him...I found him in my bed at 3:30am this morning. He slept till 11:30am this morning.

The Day After...

The munchkin and I spent the day at home today. I didn't get as much done today as I had hoped, but it was a nice relaxing day. And now it is on to BarBri tomorrow...

Consider it done: 1, 7, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 4, 10, 15, 16, 24

Needs attention: 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 34

Christmas Eve Wishes To Everyone...

Christmas Eve is a big deal in our family. This is when we all come together and for years it was always at my grandparent's home. After they both passed away it moved to my mom's house because she was the only other grandma in our family. I hope you and yours have a Very Merry Christmas Eve!!

Okay...even though today is a holiday it is still a Friday and since I have so much to do I knew I couldn't leave the following off today's post...

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Celebrate Christmas Eve

2. Make cookies & meatballs with the munchkin

3. Go & see my guy

4. Wrap all of my gifts

5. Write out our Christmas cards

6. Write out the munchkin's pictures

7. Celebrate Christmas

8. Set up my study schedule/calendar

9. Study

10. Do laundry

11. Write out my bills

12. Balance my checkbook

13. Pick up my dry cleaning

14. Get my allergy shot

15. File my papers

16. Finish going through my papers that have piled up over the last few weeks

17. Write my guy

18. Update my December budget

19. Write my "bitch" letter about issues at my guy's facility

20. Work on my guy's next PB hearing letter

21. Write a follow-up letter about my guy's classes

22. Make some calls on my guy's behalf

23. Workout

24. Finish cleaning out our drawers and closets

25. Catch up on my emails

26. Catch up on my blog reading

27. Catch up on my TIVO backlog

28. Finish my thank you notes

29. Update my calendar

30. Get re-motivated

31. Get re-focused for next week

32. Re-commit to my healthy living

33. Plan out my week

34. Get organized

35. Get my shit together!!

Flabbergasted

I am flabbergasted. I'm just in complete and total shock still... This post will certify that I am a judgmental bitch, but I've always known this so here goes...

Scenario #1) My bro & his family...

After seeing my guy tonight and finishing my Christmas shopping I picked up today's mail. In it was our Christmas card from the bro's family. I opened it up and was shocked when I saw wedding pictures from their fake wedding back in June. WTF?!?

Um...hello?! Let it go already. First of all you've been sending Christmas cards out for 3 years as a married couple, have been legally married for over a year and your fake wedding was over 6 months ago. Can you say tacky?!?

Scenario #2) My friend Faye...

I've spoken of her before and some of the situations that I've witnessed from her. A little over a week ago she BBM'd me to tell me how her car was repo'd and how she had closed her door to her boyfriend because he had cussed at her 5 y.o. daughter while screaming at her. So when she told me tonight that she was going to the boyfriend's dad's house for Christmas day while her two kids spent it with her ex-in-laws I assumed that their dad was going to be in town for the day. Needless to say I was flabbergasted when she revealed that she didn't know whether her ex-husband (the kids' dad) was going to be in town or not. Double--WTF?!?

Um...hello, again?!? You are letting your kids go to their grandparents for Christmas day without you?! And possibly without their dad too? Any other day of the year...okay. But Christmas Day?!? WTF?

All I could think when she told me this was all of the parents who cannot spend the day with their kids either due to a custody arrangement/agreement or for some other reason...always not by choice...and who would do anything to spend Christmas Day with their kids. And here she is choosing to go be with the boyfriend who she was ready to be totally done with 8 days ago instead of her kids.

I'm sorry...I don't get it. I spend hours in agony over the hours and days I have to sacrifice with my son to work, go to school, and now to study for the bar. I question whether I'm making good choices when it comes to my son, but I would never give the next two days up with my munchkin for anything. I sure as hell wouldn't have voluntarily done it to spend time with a penis who yelled the "f" word at my child eight days prior....

So yes...I am a judgmental bitch. I think my bro & s.i.l. are tacky beyond words and I think my friend is making parenting decisions that qualify as bad mothering....... Don't get me wrong. I am not perfect and I make bad choices all the time, but seriously people!! WTF?!?

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 14, 15, 16, 20, 25, 31, 33, 36, 40

Just getting started: 2, 12, 13, 18, 19, 28, 29, 30, 32, 34, 37, 38, 41, 42

Needs attention: 17, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 35, 39

Birthdays, Anniversaries, & Funerals

In the last week or so my family has had a lot going on. My Dad's birthday was the 12th, my youngest aunt's birthday was the 17th and my youngest nephew's birthday was yesterday. Today's my parents wedding anniversary. All of these things are positive things in my family. Things to be celebrated.

However, my grandfather passed away yesterday morning at 4:30am. This is sad news, but he was 96 years old and lived a good life. I think he was ready to go and was at peace with what was about to happen. He went peacefully in his sleep. God rest his soul...

Yes, my grandfather passed on my nephew's birthday. The ironic thing is that his dad's great-grandmother passed away on his birthday years ago and now my nephew's great-grandfather passed away on his. Weird, huh? I thought so...

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 14, 15, 16, 20, 25

Just getting started: 2, 10, 12, 13, 18, 19, 28, 30, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42

Needs attention: 9, 17, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 29, 31, 35, 39

Angels Giving A Message About His Journey...

Thursday night my mom called to tell me that my grandfather (my step/adopted dad's dad) was in the hospital. They don't expect him to recover or come home from the hospital. He is 96 years old and lived a healthy life. My parents drove up to be with him this weekend, leaving Friday afternoon. As of the last update this afternoon he was doing okay, but not great. Of course the idiot doctor told the family that there is nothing wrong with him and they can take him home. I find this diagnosis a little off putting since the man is 96, not eating or drinking, has pneumonia, and his "stable" blood pressure is registering at 85/50. I could see discharging him if he was going back to a nursing home or some assisted living place, but he is not.

The morning that he was taken to the hospital he had gotten up, gotten dressed, fixed his breakfast, ate, and laced up his "walking" boots to go for his daily walk around his property. Of course that property is the acre he cleared himself 15 years ago and where he built his little house on 10 years ago. Yes, at the age of 86. He leaves in this home with his girlfriend and intended to live there until he couldn't keep the property up any longer. I guess that time is now...

Wednesday morning after lacing up his boots his girlfriend woke up and came out to the living room and asked him why he didn't wake her up so she could get the coffee over. He responded, "Hon, you were tired so I let you sleep a while longer plus you know I'm capable of making my own coffee." A few minutes later he asked her to call his niece to take him to the hospital as he wasn't feeling good. No one else was called until later that afternoon, because everyone just thought he had the flu or something, but they were wrong. It was the pneumonia and then it was discovered that he has a leaky valve in his heart.

After my parents arrived at the hospital my grandpa's girlfriend told them how he told her 6 weeks ago that an angel came to him to tell him not to be afraid when his time came, because he was going to a better place and then again 2 weeks ago he told her that he wouldn't be around for Christmas, but that he would be in her heart. He is now in the midst of his journey to that better place as we all sit back and wait and ponder those messages he passed to her from his angels...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 8, 9, 19, 21, 23, 24

Just getting started: 3, 4, 5, 20, 22, 40

Needs attention: 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39

My Mom Always Said My Mouth Would Get Me Into Trouble

Oh my, oh my...what a day!! I went to bed way too late last night and got up way too late this morning. Opps. I was up and out the door in less than an hour and off to pick up the munchkin. We went to the eye doctor, which ended up taking forever. Then I had to rush home, pick up one of his outfits for his pictures, and then rush off to get my allergy shot and then get his pictures done. This is where things started to go downhill...

We arrive in time for our 12:30pm appointment to learn the idiot who I spoke to earlier in the week scheduled us for 12/9...a Thursday. So they had to fit us in. By now I was beyond irritated. Most years we just wing it and wait forever and we are usually much later in the season. This year I attempt to do things by the book and it gets all screwed up. With extra time to kill that we really didn't have in our schedule my munchkin decides to con me into picking up a few things for him. I get him changed into his outfit and then we go back and wait. The couple who was ordering their little girl's pictures were odd. I couldn't put my finger on it. I kept getting weird looks from them and weird interactions with the dad/husband. I thought maybe I knew him, but couldn't recall him or something. Then it happened.

Apparently I'm the worst parental figure in the world and shouldn't be allowed around other people's children, because when the mom told the toddler that they had to get moving because dad was breaking out in hives because he was missing the Michigan/Ohio State game I say, "Just say 'Dad it is no big deal Michigan blows anyways'." Well you would have thought I told her to tell her Dad to F Off! Was it inappropriate? Probably. Was it detrimental? Maybe. Was it cause for the Dad to come out of his chair to threaten me? I don't think so. First of all the kid was too little to even know what I said and secondly if you don't make a big deal out of these things kids don't continue to repeat such things. It is when they get reactions do they carry it to the next level. So I apologized and I felt like crap afterwards. I suspect I've been black-marked at the studio not to be allowed around other people's children... That's okay, because I don't really like other people's kids.

By now it was well past the time that my munchkin needed another dose of his medicine so he was acting as boorishly as what his mom acts like while he was getting his pictures done. We finally get out of there and are off to find some CLR for the munchkin's bathroom and then to check out. From there we go to the dry cleaners, the grocery store and the salon to pick up a couple of things and to drop off my non-perishable foods for their food drive. Hey, at least I'm trying to help the unfortunate after I've damaged them with my mouth.

We had planned to meet up with my aunt and my mom for lunch, which I had not originally wanted to do due to my fear of not keeping my streak alive tomorrow, but after the morning and early afternoon I had experienced I could have used a drink and some high calorie foods. This is when the 2nd shoe dropped. Before we left the salon the munchkin announces he can't find his Nintendo DS. Excuse me?!? We rip the car apart and can't find it. I'm beyond livid at this point. Of course I was still mad at myself for my earlier transgression. I call the studio and they have it. We head back there and pick it up.

Finally we make it to "lunch" around 4pm and I order a jumbo strawberry margarita. Of course my statement of "the stronger the better" to the waiter was taken very seriously! Daym!! I could only drink 3/4ths of it and I was definitely a little more than buzzed. I scarfed down our favorite appetizer, a half of a huge shrimp-fajita-quesadilla, and then consumed Mexican fried ice cream. I probably should have ran a couple more errands after lunch, but I was ready to just come home and crash. I spent the rest of the night freezing, trying to consume as much of my water intake as I could in hopes of not totally blowing my weigh-in for tomorrow and trying to sober up a bit.

Now it is time to bring this not so great day to an end and hope that tomorrow is better and that I don't damage anyone else's children...

Consider it done: 1, 10, 12, 15, 18, 22

Just getting started: 2, 3, 7, 16, 27, 32

Needs attention: 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45

Thanksgiving Aftermath...

Of course I was late getting to the family dinner. Opps. Luckily my aunt and uncle were even later... Hey, at least I called ahead of time and warned that I was going to be late!! Everyone finally arrived and then we sat down to dinner.

I was so proud of myself, because after it was all over and done I was the only person other than my munchkin who was not complaining how full and uncomfortable I was. Hehehehe Of course all I ate was a small piece of turkey, some stuffing, a couple olives, a couple of rolls (w/butter of course), some sweet potatoes w/marshmallows, and then a small piece of both pumpkin and apple pie. Yay me...

Of course since I've been home I've ate several handfuls of the Mud Puddles popcorn I ordered from the munchkin's cub scout popcorn fundraiser. Opps...

While I was helping serve dessert my Dad wanted to start shit with me. Ugh... Seriously?!? It started as funny and he had to take it to another level. Why must people do this?! When I showed up I had joked with everyone that I had a mouse that ate 6 of the rolls out of the packages I brought for dinner. And when I put them out and after they were passed around I told everyone that there were only 1, maybe 2, rolls left if someone wanted more. Still totally joking, because everyone knew there were like 12 rolls left in the kitchen. I had told everyone how yummy the rolls and everything. So when I was asking everyone what kind of pie they wanted I saw that my Dad had a roll still sitting by him on the table (he had taken 2), so I say, "No letting the rolls go to waste." Everyone chuckled. He tried to hand it back to me and I giggled, "No, you can have it. I'm just saying don't let it go to waste." That apparently opened the flood gates to my Dad's mouth...

Dad: "She is saying that because I used to make her clean her plate."

j'lynn: "No."

Dad: "Yes. I used to make her clean her plate. Well, not the first serving but whenever she asked for seconds. If you took more, you have to clean your plate."

j'lynn: "Pumpkin or apple?"

Dad: "Do you remember? I never made you clean your first serving."

j'lynn: "Let's not relive my childhood. Pumpkin or apple?"

Dad: "What I'm saying is true."

j'lynn: "Oh, okay. Pumpkin or apple?"

Dad: "We can relive your childhood."

j'lynn: "No. Trust me. We shouldn't."

Dad: "Why? You had a great childhood."

j'lynn: "You really don't want me to relive my childhood right now. Pumpkin or apple?"

Dad: "You had a great childhood."

j'lynn: "Pumpkin or apple?"

Dad: "What was wrong with your childhood?"

j'lynn: "Seriously. Pumpkin or apple? We aren't doing this now. One last chance, pumpkin or apple?"

Dad: "Apple."

j'lynn: "Good choice..."

Only a man who is no longer recovering would believe that I had a great childhood as I stood around and watched my parents abuse one another and drink themselves into oblivion. Fun times, but lets not try to relive them during Thanksgiving dinner, okay?! Family....need I say more?

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 22, 24, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 5, 8, 9, 10, 17, 20, 25, 39, 40

Needs attention: 21, 23

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

I want to wish everyone a Happy & Healthy Thanksgiving!!

There is so much for me to be thankful for today...

My Munchkin...He is the light of my life! I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone in my life! I am so proud of him and am so happy to see the little man he is set to become! I am thankful he came in to my life over 8 years ago and am thankful that I get to be his mommy!

My Man...my soulmate, the love of my life. I am so thankful that after knowing him for over 10 years that I am able to love him more today than I did yesterday. I am thankful that he is finally becoming the man I always knew he could. I am thankful that something so horribly tragic could bring him and I back into one another's lives and that each and every day he does something to help continue to improve his life and in turn our life together so one day we may be a family again. I am so proud of him for the changes he makes every day. I am thankful that he decided almost 3 years ago the changes he needed to make in his life in order to one day come home and be a real man, husband, father, and someone that others can respect as much as I have grown to respect in these last few years.

My aunt...I am thankful for all she does to allow me to do what I need to do to get through school, work, and to be me. I am eternally thankful that she is able to give me, my munchkin and my man so much of her time and her support. I am thankful to have such a wonderful aunt.

My family...without them I wouldn't be who I am today, so I am thankful for them even in the crazy times. I am thankful that I get to spend today with some of my family to remind me how fortunate I really am.

My LSBFF...I am thankful that over 4 years ago we met and eventually became fast friends and LSBFFs. She is my rock for school and life. She is always available for me and I am thankful for that. I am thankful that she won't BS me and when I'm being a total unreasonable bitch she will tell me how jacked up I really am.

My friends...I am thankful that I have them in my life...all of them. Even the annoying ones. ;) I am thankful that they make me laugh, think and are in my life today.

Prof. Arrogance...I am thankful I got past the first impression I had of him, because I thought he was a total asshole. I am thankful he has taught me so much and made me believe in myself more and more every day.

School...I am thankful that it is almost over! hehehehehehe

Work...I am thankful I have a job regardless of how annoying it is so much of the time. I am more than thankful that my bosses believe in me and allow me to do my "thang" so I can be successful beyond the 4 walls of my office!

My health...I am thankful for being as healthy as I am, because regardless of the blood checks, the need to lose weight and everything else I have going on with my healthy I am still very healthy and I am thankful for that.

My life...I am thankful for the life I lead every day regardless if it is a great day or a bad day...I still have my life and the ability to do what I want to do with it.

You...I am thankful for every single person who may read this. I may not know you, but I consider each and everyone of you a friend. I am thankful for all the people that this blog has brought into my life.

I hope each and every one of you are thankful for all that you have and all of the things in your life. I am not just thankful for the good in my life, but the bad too, because I learn from all of it...

Thank you & Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 22, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 5, 8, 9, 10, 17, 20, 25, 39, 40

Needs attention: 21, 23, 26

Friday & Saturday Came A Little Early This Week

Yesterday totally felt like a Friday with a twist. I took this week off work, but continued to do my Externship to work towards the hours I need to complete it. So I went to court in the morning, did my "thang" there and then I met my LSBFF for lunch. It was yummy and fun!! I just wish I had more time to spend at lunch. Oh well...next time! We celebrated her birthday! Yay her... :)

From there I went to see my guy for my weekly visit. We made it a little early this week due to the holiday, plus so I could use the rest of the week to study for my two finals Monday night. Well, that studying thing hasn't really happened yet...

Since yesterday I kept thinking it was Friday I apparently forgot that today wasn't Saturday and ended up accomplishing nothing. Or at the most, very little. But I do have a little happy news to spread...the skank (a/k/a my bro's wife) will not be at the family Thanksgiving tomorrow, so I am thankful for that. I'd hate to have to knock her out at a family dinner.

I've also been uber exhausted today. I'm not really sure why though. It could be that both Sunday and Monday night I didn't sleep worth a crap. After being up for 4 hours today all I wanted to do was take a nap. I didn't. Then almost 3 hours ago I wanted to go to bed for the night. I haven't.

My original plan was to do nothing other than study for these 5 days, but so far all I've done is eat and all I've wanted to do is sleep...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 22, 24, 27, 28, 29, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 5, 8, 9, 10, 17, 20, 25, 39, 40

Needs attention: 21, 23, 26, 30