Hour By Hour

The start of this month I announced a renewal. Thus far I have failed. As I was sitting outside this afternoon I realized I'm going through something, but I don't know exactly what it is. My outlook seems to change hour by hour. One hour I seem to be up and happy, but the next hour I seem to be down and pissed off.

Last night I was sitting here thinking how I've really fallen off the wagon of eating better, working out, taking care of myself. I've started consuming more sugar than I was before. Part of the issue is that my numbers are staying down, but I'm definitely not feeling as great or healthy as I was before. So regardless of my numbers I really think I need to cut the sugar out again. I felt better when I wasn't eating crap. So duh out it should go. Right?

I'm eating like I've never eaten or will never eat again. I did seem to have so much more control over this before. I'm not sure when I fell out of this seat on the wagon, but fall I sure as hell did! For example, today I did really well all day...ate my grapes, ate my turkey breast sandwich, ate my carrots and my animal crackers. I only drank water. I hadn't even thought about dinner until my aunt called and said to pick up Chinese. Okay...I'm totally game for this, but I decided we needed to kick it up a notch. So, we went to the Chinese Buffet for dinner. OMG...I ate like a mad woman! I ate so much that I thought I might be sick before I could drive my ass home! I certainly didn't eat the "good for you" stuff either. I think the only thing that wasn't fried that landed on my plates would be the sweet & sour sauce... I need to get this back on track. Not only for my weight and how I'm feeling, but for my pocket book too. Lets face it eating out costs an arm and a leg...

As for the working out part...I like working out once I'm there. It is just getting there. I had this plan to go to the gym after work every Tuesday & Thursday during the summer semester. Um yeah...I've been there once. I'm like in week #4 of class! Opps. It seems like I always have something that comes up. Always! I know...they are just excuses, but apparently I do excuses very well. This just needs to stop!

I've started oversleeping every single morning like crazy! And I don't mean like by 15 minutes. I mean like I'm getting my ass out of bed when I should be hitting the road. How do I solve this problem? I need to go to bed earlier and stop doing the whole "10 more minutes" thing 9 times!! I just need to get my ass out of the bed and to stop being so damn lazy.

I am behind at school. I don't mean a little behind. I am majorly behind. I have well over 15 chapters to read for Tax. I have questions that I have to answer and turn in. Those were due this past Tuesday. Well...I can't turn them in if I'm not there, correct? I have a 25 page paper that I need to turn in a rough draft in 8 days, which I have barely started!! I've had certain times that I could have worked on some homework, but I've found other things to do during those blocks of time. My favorite non-homework thing to do at that time is take a nap. I'm just so damn exhausted lately. This probably goes back up to paragraph #2...

I know what to do. I know what not to do. I know what I'm doing wrong. I know what I need to do to correct it. I just need to execute it...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 11, 12, 13, 21, 39, 40

Needs attention: 14, 18, 20