Kicking Ass & Taking Names

That was the role I played at work today! Now I'm exhausted and off to bed... Wonder if I'll do it again tomorrow!?!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Just getting started: 7, 22, 23

Needs attention: 8, 9, 10, 11

Happy Birthday Momma!!

So today (Tuesday the 29th~~in case there is any confusion since I am posting at 1:47am Monday night/Tuesday morning!) is my mother's birthday. She is 56!! Holy shit Mom!! :) Everyone who can make it will be having dinner together @ a local dive a couple of towns over. Of course it is gonna be chips & salsa!! LOL I'm hoping to get time before my allergy tests to pick up a cake at my favorite bakery for her, but if not (or they could be closed as they always close around the 4th for a week!) I'll pick one up between my tests and dinner! Either way I will produce a cake for her!

In other family news my bro had to BBM me during class, where I was suffering, to inform me that they sold their place and are moving into a house. I'm trying to be happy for them, but I'm totes jealous!! I wish it was us moving from our place into a house. But I cannot let it get to me. Someday will be my turn. Right?!

The best news I bring is that I turned in the rough draft of my S&L paper around 12:40am Sunday night/Monday morning. It was due at 8am. I have already received feedback from my laidback Prof and he said..."Really fine work on the seminar paper. I have a new appreciation for [Prof. Arrogance] -- I have always admired him but now it's a little more. I really like how you interviewed other attorneys and found the blogger who was so open about her feelings after her client murdered again fascinating. I think adding in a couple more interviews makes sense, too. My only criticism is that it would [be] nice to know more about how you will approach your job as a [criminal] defense attorney and what you will use to reduce stress. Nice job!" Woo-hoo!! Some more tweaking over the holiday weekend and next week and this should be completed! Yes!!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Just getting started: 7, 22, 23

Needs attention: 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

I Will Not Be Deterred From Trying To Live Healthy!!

Yesterday I snuck on the scale while rushing around to get out of the house and I was down almost 2lbs. This morning...up! This is why I could never ever weigh myself every single day. I would drive myself mad!! The explanations I have for this change in the scale in about 24 hours is: I'm still waiting for MotherNature to arrive (apparently my current norm is every 5-6 weeks instead of every 4!); I ate dinner super late (9:30pm) and had some pretty heavy stuff (spaghetti sauce & garlic bread) and went to bed 2 hours later! There is no way a single w/cheese and a hand-full of onion rings @ Johnny Rocket's, a pack of animal crackers, and my dinner exceeded thousands of calories in one day. The only other thing I had all day was water, diet coke w/lunch and a diet rootbeer later in the afternoon. It is impossible, right?! I have been feeling a little "stopped up" the past couple of days too, so that may be an additional explanation as well.

I refuse to let this little spike deter me from what I feel was a pretty good week for me! I mean it wasn't perfect, but I'm not perfect! I hate fairly healthy this week and didn't eat out too much! Yes, I did eat a lot of salads this week, which were purchased from the greasy spoon in my building, but that consisted of lettuce, chicken breast, feta cheese, a pita, and my fat-free catalina dressing, which I do measure!! I only picked up sausage from burger king for breakfast one day this week, Friday, and had nothing with it! I did not have a single candy bar all week and stayed away from the sugar as well! The fam went out to eat twice this week...dinner on Thursday where I was uber proud of myself and JR's yesterday! In addition to all of that eating out (which apparently was more than I thought, Ha!) I only had my turkey, bacon wrap on Friday for lunch and taco bell for dinner Friday night. Since I don't consider my salads eating out, because my ham for my sandwiches went bad earlier this week I really didn't do that bad. Did I???

Well, I cannot obviously change it and I can't go with yesterday's weigh in because it didn't really count, so here it is...Today's Stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 322.2lbs

This week's results: +0.2lbs

Total weight lost: -40.8lbs

I feel like the last several days I've been in a pretty good mental space and for me that is over half the battle. I feel like I can conquer so many of the things I have going on in life! So I vow to have another good week this week and we shall wait and see what next week brings me! How are you doing with your goals of healthy living?

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 5, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Just getting started: 3, 6, 7, 22, 23

Needs attention: 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Who Needs Noodles?

I made a big batch of spaghetti sauce tonight and I was thinking...the only things I really like about spaghetti is the sauce and the garlic bread so why waste the calories on the noodles. So for dinner I had a bowl of spaghetti sauce and garlic bread! Yummy!! I, of course, ate more than I should have, but without the noodles I feel like I did better than I would have had I fixed it with the noodles!

This morning I overslept...again. I did the same thing yesterday too. I think there is something wrong with me! I woke up at 9:15am and my hair appointment was for 10am. Opps! I rushed around and did what I had to do and arrived about 3 mins late for my appointment. I had my highlights updated, did a little tax reading under the dryer and then left there to have my blood taken for my allergy test scheduled for Tuesday! After my blood work I did a couple errands and met up with the munchkin and my aunt for lunch @ Johnny Rockets! Yummy!!

I was able to keep a semblance of control at JR's. I only had a single with cheese and onion rings and a diet coke. I had planned on getting a chocolate malt to go, but then I decided to just finish the munchkin's child size shake instead, but after I sat it in front of me (I was on the phone with my man) my aunt reached right over to move it while I was paying the bill. I hung up and my aunt told me she didn't tell the waiter that I wanted a small malt to go. I told her it was probably for the best. She then said she wouldn't have finished the munchkin's shake if she had known that. Well...a little too late, huh? I wanted to say, "Why did you think I put it in front of me?!?" But I didn't. I just said that was probably for the best too. She then went on how she knows I really like JR's shakes. I told her not to worry about it.

After lunch I ran another errand and then came home instead of finishing my errands. I decided to lay down for an hour because I was feeling sort of out of it. I think that may be caused by the fact that I cannot take any allergy medicine in preparation of my allergy tests next week. My facial/waxing appointment was at 3:15pm so I set my alarm for 2:40pm. Well I overslept for this too! I hit snooze for 10 minutes and then at 2:50pm I reset the alarm for 2:55pm and again for 3pm and then again for 3:05pm. Um yeah...my salon is 20 minutes away from me! What the hell was I thinking?!? I just couldn't get myself out of that bed. I am seriously thinking there is something wrong with me!!!

I raced to my appointment and actually called to tell them I was running late, but was put on hold. When I walked into the salon, still on hold, I looked at my esthetician and said, "I'm sorry I'm late, but I'm on hold (showing her my phone ticking the seconds down) here right now to tell you I'm running late." We laughed and went back in the room. As she was doing my eyebrows my cell phone vibrated. It was the salon. So I answered it,

j'lynn: Hello?

Front Desk Girl: Hi j'lynn, this is FDG. Your appointment was at 3:15pm and your esthetician was worried and wanted to see if you were still coming.

j'lynn: FDG, I'm on esthetician's table right now getting waxed.

After the giggling, my esthetician got serious...she didn't give all of the details, but I surmised that her hubby caught her in an affair, which caused him to ram her car with his and has now lead into him being charged with two counts of felonious assault. I had suspected that his going to Canada for 6 months to work was actually them separating. The worst part is that he isn't a US citizen and this could cause him to get deported. They've been married 8 years and prior to this situation he has never even raised his voice to her and she thinks he just snapped that night. She feels partially bad, but is holding him responsible for his own actions that night too. I feel sorry for her and glad that no one got seriously hurt that night. Hopefully it works out for the best for everyone involved...

After I was finished with my pampering, I ran the rest of my errands and came home. With as much homework as I have you would think I would be busting that out. But outside of fixing my spaghetti and doing other small personal tasks and laundry I haven't gotten much done. I suspect that it is going to be an early night tonight so I can get up and bust some stuff out tomorrow! Well, early in my world...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 5, 13, 14, 15, 16, 21

Just getting started: 3, 6, 7, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23

Needs attention: 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

It's Friday, Bitches!!!

This week has been daunting for me, but I feel like I've had so many breakthroughs as well. I've been very busy trying to keep up on things, get things done, and catch up on things. The positives of doing all of this is a much shorter To-Do list this week! :) The downfall is...I'm more than exhausted! I am very hopeful that my positive outlook will continue...especially as I continue to fight my way through my gobs and gobs of homework this weekend!

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Go shopping

3. Do laundry

4. Write out my bills

5. Balance my checkbook

6. Write my first draft of my S&L paper

7. Do all of my Tax homework

8. Write my guy

9. Workout

10. Get the munchkin's birthday pictures taken

11. Write my "bitch" letter about issues with my guy's facility

12. Do my weekly follow-up with the registrar's office for my audit paperwork

13. Get my highlights

14. Get my unibrow waxed

15. Get my monthly facial

16. Get my blood work done for my allergy testing coming up this week

17. Get me some serious sleep

18. Stay motivated

19. Stay focused for next week

20. Stay focused with my healthy living

21. Plan out my week

22. Get organized

23. Get my shit together

Mother Nature Was Pissed Off On Hump Day!

Last night before I went to bed I sent an email to my laid-back Prof. from my seminar about changing the date when our rough draft was due for our S&L paper. When I got up this morning he moved the due date from this Friday to next Monday! I agree with him "laid-back Prof. is a nice guy!" Having accomplished that I was ready to face the day...and what a day it was...

At work I accomplished very little actual work. Apparently I've become a true slacker! But knowing all along that I would pull my crap together and get done what needs to be done by the end of this month I wasn't concerned at all, until later when my boss called to tell me that I may have to pick up my co-worker's slack and do double the amount of work I have to do by the end of the month...mine & hers! Um, yeah...so who is going to pick up my slack?! I guess that is going to be me too. So needless to say I will be busting my ass for the next week! Not even my own fault either...ugh!

Then early afternoon as I was getting ready to go and get my yummy salad for lunch I felt funny all of a sudden. I felt like the ground under me was moving. I wasn't sure if I was about to faint, if the office building was really moving or if my blood sugar had dropped too low and I was just feeling funny. Nope...it really was the ground moving. There was an earthquake of 5.5 magnitude and I had just experienced the tremors from it. In all of the previous news reports I always thought people acted a little too scared in earthquakes (not the big ones...I'm talking the little ones). Well, now that I felt little tiny tremors and almost went running out of my office and down 13 flights of stairs I will no longer judge others! That was some scary stuff.

Well, as my day was coming to a close at work I knew it was time to face my tax class, which I had avoided for 2 full weeks (thanks to my 2 skips last week and class being canceled this Monday due to the fireworks). There was anxiety for me. I hate returning to something that I've missed. There was also anxiety because I was completely caught up with my reading. I did a little prayer that I wouldn't get called on and then discovered I was about to be late for class so I ran off. During class I suffered for a full 3 hours and then decided I needed to approach Prof. Tax Guru with my assignment that was due 2 weeks ago this past Monday. After class I went up to Prof. Tax Guru and executed my plan of attack...

j'lynn: Prof. Tax Guru, here is my assignment that was due 2 weeks ago. I'm sorry it is late, but I was not in class last week due to a personal situation. I still wanted to turn it in even if I don't get credit for it.

Prof. Tax Guru: No, this is great. Thank you for turning it in. Don't worry that it is late.

j'lynn: Thanks!

fellow student #1: Is that the assignment that was due last week? I didn't know we were suppose to turn that in. Do you want mine?

fellow student #2: Are you talking about the questions you assigned? Can I turn mine in next week.

Looks like I started a trend! Ha!! I was glad class was over, I was glad that things went exactly as I hoped, I was glad that I wasn't called on. I was not glad that even though in the last week I went from being 490 pages behind in tax to 309 pages behind in tax I am now back to approximately 524 pages behind in tax. Are you kidding me?!? Ugh... I'm so never going to catch up! But in other tax news...Prof. Tax Guru is considering giving us a take-home exam. I'm totally down with that! :)

After class I drove home, charging my phone on the way (thanks for the reminder Daisy with your tweets!), because we were expecting some serious storms. When I parked in front of my house our weather sirens were going off. I walked into my house to find my munchkin freaking out, a tornado warning posted and my weather-alert radio going off! Within 10 minutes things started to pick up in the crazy department. I had the munchkin in my bed with my aunt trying to go to sleep when my bro called my aunt's cell (yes, I took the call for her. Ha!) to tell us that a tornado touched down about 30 miles from us and was headed straight for our town. Um, thanks bro! At that my phone started going off, the weather-alert radio started going off again, the outside sirens started up, the munchkin is crying, and I'm yelling at my aunt because I cannot find the GD remote! Bro is telling me what channels to put the TV on and telling me how he cannot get ahold of mom, so I'm using my cell to try and call her. I thought maybe a tornado would have been much calmer than all of this! We caught the weather report, got the candles and flashlight out. And then we started to wait...

The power went out once, the wind was crazy, the satellite was searching, the rain was pouring, the thunder was booming and the lightning was flashing. We survived it without any real damage that I could see. Reports of touch downs were confirmed. I'm definitely now ready for a crazy day tomorrow, but I'm really hoping that mother nature takes tomorrow off!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Just getting started: 9, 10, 11, 24, 25

Needs attention: 15, 16

Too Tired

to post anything, but I still had to celebrate the fact that I hauled my ass to the gym and checked off another thing on my list to do this week! :)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 13, 14, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Just getting started: 9, 10, 11, 24, 25

Needs attention: 15, 16, 17

Treadmill Tricks vs. My Treadmill Question

This past weekend I received one of my weekly (or so) emails from nikki @ nikkifitness.com. This is what she had to say:

Sometimes summer is just to warm to workout outside, so instead of skipping it, sweat in the cold air inside on the treadmill! Too boring, you say? I have the antidode: action on the machine.

Minutes 1–3 (Warm up) Walk at 1.5 incline and speed of 3.5

Minutes 3–6 (Steady state) Jog at same incline at speed of 6.

Minutes 5–15 (Intervals!) Run one minute at 7.5 fast interval, one minute at 5.5 recovery interval. Repeat several times.

Minutes 15–27 Toning — forward works glutes and calves, backward works quads! Set uphill incline at 15 (as high as it goes) and speed at 3. Walk forward for 2 minutes.

If you are coordinated and feel strong enough to try this (I take no responsibility for tripping) LOWER speed to 2 and turn around while steadying yourself on the handles. Walk uphill backwards and pick your feet up high to avoid tripping. It will feel faster than the speed reads so I encourage starting at a low speed and increasing it only if you want more of a challenge). Do this for 2 minutes (or 100 steps, don’t turn your neck around to look at treadmill clock, you could lose your balance.) Turn back around and repeat faster forward uphill walk and slower backwards uphill walk several times.

Minutes 27–30 lower speed to 2.5 and cool down. Follow with a stretch of your calves, quads, hamstrings glutes and hip flexors (there is a free 5 minute stretch video at www .YouTube .com/ N i k k i F i t n ess).

Do this 30 minute multitasking machine workout twice a week

Okay...all I really want to know is which burns more calories and helps you lose more weight...an increased incline or an increased speed?! I can't do both! I need to concentrate on one thing at a time. And yes, I suck with usually only walking at a 2.8 on no incline. But I would like to start picking one up or the other or should I gradually increase one and then the other and do this back and forth until they are much higher? Does anyone know the answer to my age old question? Because I just don't see me keeping up with nikki's regiment there! LOL

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23

Just getting started: 9, 11, 24, 25

Needs attention: 10, 12, 15, 16, 17

Cooking With Some Help From A Friend...

My friend Janice...you've probably seen her lurking around lately in the comment section...sent me a recipe that I tried out this weekend and I just had to share it with all of you. Both of us have a love for Mexican food, so I was totally down with this when she sent it to me. And as Janice implied...chicken, beans & cheese~~what else could one want in a meal?! :)

Let's get started...

Ingredients:

1 can refried beans

1 can chicken broth

1 can corn (not drained)

1 small jar of salsa

1 large can of chicken (who knew there was canned chicken out there...I sure didn't!)

1 can black beans (rinsed)

1 can northern beans (drained)

The recipe is originally a soup recipe, but Janice always cooks it down and makes it into a dip, so I decided to do the same thing. The original recipe says to put it all in a crock-pot and cook on high until the beans are pretty mashed up. (Janice cooks hers on the stove until the liquid is pretty well all boiled off.) The original recipe then says to turn the crock-pot on low and add 8 oz. velveeta cheese or 1/2 cup shredded cheese.

I decided I wanted to make mine in the crock-pot, but I wanted a dip instead of a soup. So I began with pour all of the ingredients into the crock pot (except the cheese)...

Then I mixed everything together.

I have one of those timers on my crock-pot so I set it to cook for 6 hours on high. After I had everything mixed together I put the cover on it and let the whole thing get nice and hot. Knowing the cover wasn't going to allow the liquid to cook-off after it was all hot (approximately 1.5-2 hours) I removed the cover, reset that original timer again to restart the 6 hours on high and left it to cook down...

This is where my plan went off course. Since I didn't even start this whole process until early afternoon yesterday I knew it wasn't going to be ready for dinner, but I figured I'd have some midnight munchies while slaving away with my homework. Well...I didn't plan on passing out while reading for Tax sometime after 7:30pm last night... Opps! But don't worry everyone because when I awoke at 4:30am this morning, my crock-pot was on warm, the dish was piping hot and the liquid was gone! The top was initially a little crusted looking, but as soon as I put my spoon in to see if my sleepiness had ruined an entire crock-pot of Chicken/Bean Dip it all came back to life! :)

And yes, for those curious...it did cook all night long without the top on the crock-pot; yes I woke up to the smell of Chicken/Cheese Dip all over my house~~needless to say I was extra hungry when I woke up; and no I do not worry about sleeping with a crock-pot going nor do I worry when I leave the house about leaving my crock-pot going...isn't that what they are made for?!?

So, at 4:30am this morning I sprinkled my cheese on it and waited for it to melt (I put the cover back on for that part...I was starving y'all!)...

After the cheese has melted it is ready to eat! Yummy!!

I put some on a plate and scarfed it down with some corn chips! It was very delicious!! Yummy!! :) At first I found it a little salty for my taste, but I'm crazy like that. I don't know why, but my taste buds can pick up salt in anything. So a little later when I had some more I added a little sour cream and some Catalina dressing...and I switched from the blue corn chips to the regular corn chips and it tasted perfect.

Since this is all I've snacked on all day (it reheats beautifully!) my man sad he was actually glad he wasn't sleeping next to me tonight! Toot~toot!!!!

Thanks Janice for the recipe! This is going to be a regular in j'lynn's world! I've already got plans to make it for the 4th of July!! hehehehe

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23

Just getting started: 9, 11, 22, 24, 25

Needs attention: 10, 12, 15, 16, 17

Happy Father's Day 2010!

On this early Sunday morning I would like to wish all of the Dads, Granddads, Soon-to-be-Dads, and all of the men (& sometimes the women & Moms) who play the role of Dad a great big Happy Father's Day!!! :) You do so much for us throughout life and have such an important role in so many lives I would like to say "Thank You for everything you all do!" Now go out and enjoy your day!! :)

In other news around here...well, I haven't made much more progress since my early evening update, but I'm okay with that! After I posted last night my body was getting tired of sitting here on my love seat and between my ass starting to ache and my back stiffening up I decided to take my Tax book, my highlighter, and my pen to my room to read. Well folks...that is all she wrote until I woke up this morning at 4:30am! Opps. You would think I would have learned by now that if I lay down I fall asleep! Apparently I have not learned this lesson yet...

With waking up early this morning all that really means for me is the fact that I have to do my weekly weigh-in earlier. And since all I ate yesterday was a big fat steak fajita burrito (my left overs from dinner w/my lsbff stuffed into a flour tortilla) and that large frosty I woke up famished, I knew I had to weigh in immediately so I could eat! So that is what I did! I did keep in mind the fact that I have ate like shit for the last two weeks, I didn't get to the gym last week and mother-nature has been penciled in for arrival since Friday and then I hopped up on those scales. Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 322.0lbs

This week's results: +2.4lbs

Total weight lost: -41lbs

Okay...not great, but not nearly as bad as I feared! So I can deal with it. I just need to remember all of this and now plan to execute! I know it sounds stupid, but I cannot begin to execute on a Sunday. There are too many fluid factors while sitting at home studying. If I try to execute today it will actually be worse for me. Probably doesn't sound rationale, but it is the way my mind works. Instead I will just do my thing today and plan to begin executing my plan tomorrow!

Now that I'm well rested back to reading I go...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 18, 19, 23

Just getting started: 9, 11, 20, 21, 24, 25

Needs attention: 10, 12, 15, 16, 17, 22

An Early Evening Update

Today is a good day. I feel like I'm making progress, finally! Maybe not as quickly as I would like, but progress none the less. Even though I did determine that I'm 480 pages behind in Tax and have that major paper to work on, I still feel good about things. Maybe it is that frosty I just consumed that has made me have this good feeling, maybe it is because I've accomplished so much and it is only Saturday early evening. Maybe it is because my house is engulfed in the wonderful smell of a new chicken, bean & cheese dish that I look forward to eating a little later. I don't know, I don't care. I'm going to go with the good feeling for now and enjoy it. Now back to Tax...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 18, 23

Just getting started: 9, 11, 20, 21, 24, 25

Needs attention: 10, 12, 15, 16, 17, 19, 22

You're Fired!

These two words have been infamous for a very long time. Then Donald Trump made them almost popular. Do you remember after the first Apprentice people imitating The Donald with his signature "You're Fired!"? I do! I'm sure I'm equally guilty of doing it myself! Well, I fired someone recently, but there was no fanfare!

Let me take you to the beginning or refresh your memory. Oh yeah...don't forget about this! Anywho...I finally pulled the trigger back the day of my bro's fake wedding. I know my cleaning lady had a lot going on, but Sunday I was having the munchkin's birthday party at our house and I definitely didn't have time to clean the house. Knowing how busy that weekend was going to be way ahead of time, I had asked her to clean a week in advance and had gave her a choice in days that week to clean. She told me it wouldn't be a problem! I counted on this! I arranged my whole schedule around it as she said she wanted to clean that Saturday morning. Cool!

That Friday night my phone rang. My cleaning lady wanted to update me on everything she had going on, but wanted to tell me she "should" be able to make it to clean the next day. Knowing I had some time that night I even told her if she thought it would be too much that it was okay if she couldn't do it. I was assured that it shouldn't be a problem. So I went about our business Friday night and Saturday morning I went to the salon to get my hair "did." Needless to say when my phone rang a little after 10am and was told she wouldn't be cleaning that day I was a bit shocked, a little disappointed, and upset. After I hung up I performed my imitation of The Donald, because my cleaning lady, "you're fired!"

Even though my house didn't get cleaned that day or before the munchkin's birthday party, I already had a replacement that same night and guess when she showed up! Monday morning! My new cleaning lady (a/k/a my mom's bff) is wonderful!! She has cleaned twice for me now and I'm always impressed at how great the house looks after she cleans!! She even takes out my trash, makes my bed*, and replaces my towels in the bathrooms!! Oh yeah and she definitely uses more than one towel!

So that Saturday I was able to use both of The Donald's catch phrases, "You're Fired!" and "You're Hired!" Congratulations mom's bff...you are my new Apprentice...er...cleaning lady!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 13, 14, 18, 23

Just getting started: 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11, 20, 21, 24, 25

Needs attention: 9, 10, 12, 15, 16, 17, 19, 22

*~~incase you wondered why I can't even make my own bed here of late, refer back here.

Just Do It

No, I'm not pushing Nike here. I'm just trying to push myself along my path of renewal. I do think I did wonderful with last week's to-do list! ;)

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Write out my shopping list

3. Go shopping

4. Get my house cleaned

5. Do laundry

6. Write out my bills

7. Balance my checkbook

8. File this week's papers

9. Do all of my Tax homework

10. Write my first draft of my S&L paper

11. Write my guy

12. Workout

13. Catch up on my TIVO

14. Catch up on my emails

15. Get the munchkin's birthday pictures taken

16. Write my "bitch" letter about issues with my guy's facility

17. Continue to follow-up with the registrar's office on my audit paperwork

18. Update my June budget

19. Get me some serious sleep

20. Get re-motivated

21. Refocus for next week

22. Get refocused with my healthy living

23. Plan out my week

24. Get organized

25. Get my shit together

Hour By Hour

The start of this month I announced a renewal. Thus far I have failed. As I was sitting outside this afternoon I realized I'm going through something, but I don't know exactly what it is. My outlook seems to change hour by hour. One hour I seem to be up and happy, but the next hour I seem to be down and pissed off.

Last night I was sitting here thinking how I've really fallen off the wagon of eating better, working out, taking care of myself. I've started consuming more sugar than I was before. Part of the issue is that my numbers are staying down, but I'm definitely not feeling as great or healthy as I was before. So regardless of my numbers I really think I need to cut the sugar out again. I felt better when I wasn't eating crap. So duh out it should go. Right?

I'm eating like I've never eaten or will never eat again. I did seem to have so much more control over this before. I'm not sure when I fell out of this seat on the wagon, but fall I sure as hell did! For example, today I did really well all day...ate my grapes, ate my turkey breast sandwich, ate my carrots and my animal crackers. I only drank water. I hadn't even thought about dinner until my aunt called and said to pick up Chinese. Okay...I'm totally game for this, but I decided we needed to kick it up a notch. So, we went to the Chinese Buffet for dinner. OMG...I ate like a mad woman! I ate so much that I thought I might be sick before I could drive my ass home! I certainly didn't eat the "good for you" stuff either. I think the only thing that wasn't fried that landed on my plates would be the sweet & sour sauce... I need to get this back on track. Not only for my weight and how I'm feeling, but for my pocket book too. Lets face it eating out costs an arm and a leg...

As for the working out part...I like working out once I'm there. It is just getting there. I had this plan to go to the gym after work every Tuesday & Thursday during the summer semester. Um yeah...I've been there once. I'm like in week #4 of class! Opps. It seems like I always have something that comes up. Always! I know...they are just excuses, but apparently I do excuses very well. This just needs to stop!

I've started oversleeping every single morning like crazy! And I don't mean like by 15 minutes. I mean like I'm getting my ass out of bed when I should be hitting the road. How do I solve this problem? I need to go to bed earlier and stop doing the whole "10 more minutes" thing 9 times!! I just need to get my ass out of the bed and to stop being so damn lazy.

I am behind at school. I don't mean a little behind. I am majorly behind. I have well over 15 chapters to read for Tax. I have questions that I have to answer and turn in. Those were due this past Tuesday. Well...I can't turn them in if I'm not there, correct? I have a 25 page paper that I need to turn in a rough draft in 8 days, which I have barely started!! I've had certain times that I could have worked on some homework, but I've found other things to do during those blocks of time. My favorite non-homework thing to do at that time is take a nap. I'm just so damn exhausted lately. This probably goes back up to paragraph #2...

I know what to do. I know what not to do. I know what I'm doing wrong. I know what I need to do to correct it. I just need to execute it...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 11, 12, 13, 21, 39, 40

Needs attention: 14, 18, 20

Hump Day & My LSBFF~~No Better Combo!!

Not much drama today...thank goodness! Well...other than oversleeping for work, which isn't abnormal here of late. :( I worked late, skipped class and meet up with my LSBFF for dinner. Yummy, yummy, yummy!! I had a blast and am so thankful for my LSBFF! She is so damn smart it is scary. She gives the best advice and is always there to listen to my craziness! I'm so lucky to have her as my LSBFF!

Thanks for dinner, LSBFF! I had a wonderful time...

PS: Congrats, again, on becoming an aunt last week! You are going to make a fabo auntie!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 19, 22, 24, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 11, 12, 13, 21, 23, 25, 39, 40

Needs attention: 14, 18, 20

Thanks For Not Showing Any Excitement

This morning I was trying to continue to come to terms with yesterday's confirmation. I made it to work, but didn't get much accomplished...moving slow seems to be my mantra here of late. I know I'll need to step it up in the coming days.

I left work @ 1pm for my yearly VJJ check up. I was so excited to show Dr. G that I've lost over 40lbs and gotten my HBP under control in order to go back on BCPs. I get there 20 mins early figuring I would have updating paperwork to complete. Of course I have to pee by the time I got there and didn't go before in case they needed/wanted a sample for whatever reason. Of course he doesn't staff his office until my appointment time. Go figure! Unable to wait 20 mins, they lost out on any potential test specimen! At 2pm, my appointment time, the office staff reappears from their lunch and I'm given paperwork. So even though I was the first of the four patients into the waiting room, I was the last one called. Of course!

Dr. G told me everything looked good. Of course I was expecting a little excitement over the weight loss and the fact that my BP came in at 120/90. I was also expecting that he would write out my script for my BCPs. I left without either expectation filled. :( Instead Dr. G started pushing the IUD on me. What part of "I'm not into having something implanted in my VJJ" doesn't he get?!? I left his office so deflated and pretty upset. I came home and did some research as he suggested, called my insurance company to learn that it isn't covered and decided that I would get the ultrasound he ordered and when I call for those results I will tell him that I do not want nor will I be getting the IUD and he can either call in a script for the pill or else I'll find another OB/GYN...

After my appointment I decided to swing by school to pick up my audit paperwork from the registrar's office as I received an email a couple weeks ago telling me it would be ready. Was it ready? Um...well, after waiting 15 mins for the lady in charge of it to come back from her lunch @ 3:45pm (their office closes at 4:30pm) I was told that my paperwork still isn't ready. Are you kidding me?!? Okay...I'm tired of being so angry today, so let's move on to the next thing...how about getting the two awards I received from them with my first name spelled correctly this time. Oh...those have to be ordered and sent back to me. Whatever!!

By the time I got home I didn't have the desire to toss my workout clothes into the dryer and go and work out. I also didn't have the desire or the head to work on more homework. So I did what I do best...I took a nap!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 17, 19, 22, 24, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 11, 12, 13, 21, 23, 25, 39, 40

Needs attention: 14, 18, 20, 33

My Heart Was Broken Today...

I've suspected for a little while now, but my fears and suspicions were confirmed this evening. I skipped Tax tonight and swung by my mom & dad's while the munchkin was getting his hair cut. I walked in and what is sitting in front of my dad right next to his coffee cup? A Mother Fucking Beer!!! :( My heart broke in that moment. My dad had been sober since October 1993. I suspect this has been taking place for 6-12 months, so I guess he kissed at least 16 years of sobriety good bye. Do you know what else he kissed goodbye? Me & mine....

Dear Dad,

I'll tolerate you when I have to for now until my guy comes home and since he needs to remain sober forever to stay in my life and to continue to be my man and the munchkin's daddy we will not be around you while you are off the wagon. However, should you revert back to your old ways~drinking more and more, drunk driving, & abusing my mother~you will not only be out of our life much faster, but you will also find yourself on the other end of a criminal complaint, because Daddy...I ain't under 17 anymore!!

Love,

Your Deeply Hurt & Sad Daughter

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 15, 16, 19, 22, 26, 27, 28, 29, 31, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 11, 17, 23, 24, 25, 39, 40

Needs attention: 12, 13, 14, 18, 20, 21, 30, 32, 33

So Didn't See This Coming...

This is no explanation for this. I felt fat all weekend, especially Friday! I consumed a crazy amount of ice cream this week. I only got to the gym once. I failed more than I succeeded yet here are Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 319.6

This week's results: -4.4lbs

Total weight lost: -43.4lbs

While catching up on my hundreds of emails (okay, 78) this morning and afternoon I read the following things and am going to try and remember them as I begin this week...

Don't waste your willpower.

A recent study published in Psychology & Health suggests that people have a finite amount of self-control, and that it can run dry, just like a bank account. To keep from depleting your source of inner strength during this first week, avoid situations that present temptations. Plan to have dinner at home instead of at restaurants; don't walk by the doughnut shop on your way to work. And squeeze in a workout first thing in the morning, before your motivation runs out.

Make the world your ally.

In Norcross's research on dieters trying to keep New Year's resolutions, those who took their promises public fared best. No need to wait until your next dinner party; spill the beans ASAP by starting a blog. The pressure will keep you on track: "If you cheat on your diet or stop exercising, you let down your readers as well as yourself," Norcross points out.

Believe in yourself.

Borrow a page from a kids' book and chant, "I think I can!" when your willpower reserves run low. Sounds cheesy, but it can make the difference between powering to the top of the hill on your a.m. run and wimping out. Newbie exercisers who strongly believed in their ability to succeed were most likely to still be exercising one year later, according to research from Miriam Hospital in Providence. So leave your no-can-do attitude in the dust and hit the road to a better body for life.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 15, 16, 26, 27, 28, 29, 34

Just getting started: 11, 23, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40

Needs attention: 7, 8, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 24, 25, 30, 31, 32, 33

No Idea

I really had no idea that my list would be so darn extensive or busy again this week. Oh well, I almost got everything done this past week, so maybe this week I will get everything done and things will go much smoother and easier for me. I'm not counting on it, but I am hopeful! :)

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Leave work early
2. Go to the allergy specialist/munchkin's pediatrician
3. Go & see my guy
4. Write out shopping list
5. Go shopping
6. Do laundry
7. Write out my bills
8. Balance my checkbook
9. File this week's papers
10. Pick up the house
11. Do all of my Tax homework
12. Work on my S&L paper
13. Write my guy
14. Workout
15. Catch up on my TIVO
16. Catch up on my emails
17. Finish writing out the thank you notes for the munchkin's first communion
18. Get the munchkin's birthday pictures taken
19. Get the munchkin's hair cut
20. Write my "bitch" letter about issues with my guy's facility
21. Follow up with the registrar's office on my audit paperwork
22. Update my June budget
23. Get pics from last couple of weekend's developed.
24. Follow-up with chica on the munchkin's activities for this summer.
25. Register munchkin for summer activities.
26. Make sure munchkin attends his soccer picnic
27. Take a dish to pass to the Cub Scout picnic if the munchkin is attending it
28. Have munchkin attend his Cub Scout picnic if he wants as it conflicts with the soccer picnic
29. Get an oil change
30. Start working with Prof. Arrogance to secure my externship for the fall
31. Fax in my last remaining health care receipt for reimbursement
32. Go to my OB/GYN for my yearly this week
33. Have dinner with my LSBFF!!! :)
34. Get me some serious sleep
35. Get re-motivated
36. Refocus for next week
37. Get refocused on the WWs (i.e. eating healthier; getting healthier; & losing weight) band-wagon
38. Plan out my week
39. Get organized
40. Get my shit together

What Do You Mean It Isn't Friday!?! Ugh...Are You Sure?

I started this week so strong and so dedicated to doing so well with better eating. Monday went great! Tuesday went well until dinner, but I didn't lose complete control and then had a great workout. Well, great that I got there and actually worked out which I haven't done in forever! Then Wednesday hit...well, lets not relive yesterday! Today I was super strong until 4:30pm. I was working late till 7:30pm and completely and totally exhausted. So what do I do? Where do I turn? The fucking ice-cream!! Blah!!!!

Hopefully tomorrow will be better....I really want to do this. I really do. I'm just super weak. Any tips for getting stronger with this y'all?

I was really hoping to get to the gym tonight after work, but I was so tired I decided to come home instead with the hope of going to bed early. Well, that didn't happen either. I'll be so happy when this week is over. It has felt like a really long week. Of course I'm sure it didn't help that I thought it was Friday all frickin' day. Even after I reminded myself it was only Thursday I would go back to thinking and saying it was Friday. I think my brain took a vacation!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 32, 33, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 7, 13, 14, 21, 27, 39, 40

Needs attention: 8, 9, 16, 20, 30, 31, 34

Hello, My Name Is J'lynn & I Am An Ice-Cream-A-Holic

Remember that pride I was feeling yesterday over not totally losing control when it came to the cookies?!? Well, apparently it didn't follow me into today!! I did good with breakfast (banana, ham sandwich~yes, I am weird!) and lunch wasn't bad either (small famous grilled chicken greek salad, plain, with my fat-free dressing & a pita), but the snacks really sucked. Today was another ice cream day at work. And I failed miserably at it!

*yes, this is a picture of our work freezer filled with ice cream treats!

I think I ate 10 ice cream treats and then when I got to school the room was too frickin' hot to eat anything other than my cup of grapes.**

So after stopping and filling up with gas and picking up a big ass diet coke I came home and ate dinner, which basically sucked for me too (2 pieces of left over pizza and then a slice of the munchkin's birthday cake with...yup, you guessed it...more frickin' ice cream). Oh yeah...when I tried to unload all the crap I was carrying I knew I was about to spill my diet coke so in an attempt to "catch" it I put my finger through the disposable cup as it spilled onto my kitchen table and my floor. Nothing better than 30 ounces of diet coke flowing in my newly cleaned house! Ugh...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 32, 33, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 7, 13, 14, 21, 27, 39, 40

Needs attention: 8, 9, 16, 20, 30, 31, 34

**~~I didn't really eat 10, but I could have. I did eat more than 2 though... :(

What's Up Doc? You're Sending Me To Our Pediatrician!?!

I had a master plan for today. I was leaving work early to go to the doctor's because my feet have been hurting me for quite some time. Probably for over 5 months. I used my medical degree to diagnosis myself with Plantar Fasciitis. You didn't know I was a doctor did you? LOL~~actually I only play one on TV! The doctor tells me how he could give me a cortisone injections, but it would screw with my sugar, so he doesn't want to treat this. Seriously?!? So instead he is sending me to a specialist. Great!! Then he decides that I need to go to my son's pediatrician for my allergies. Aren't I moving backward by going to a pediatrician in my early 30's?!?

Since it took 2 hours and 20 minutes to finish at the doctor's office I did not get to the gym or get my oil changed before I picked up the munchkin's cookies. Instead I headed straight over to the bakery and picked up the cookies and then decided to pick up KFC for our dinner and came home. After eating we headed up to the munchkin's soccer game and then I headed to the gym. I did 20 mins on the treadmill, did all of the upper body machines and then did another 10 mins on the treadmill. I came home and ended up eating one of the munchkin's cookies, but I stopped at just one. I was proud of myself!! Of course that KFC probably wasn't the best choice, but I do still have to live!!

When I asked to leave work early today I told my boss I would make up the time because I'm running behind in closing and transferring some files out. Now I get to bust my ass for the next 2 & 1/2 days, because I have to go for my allergy appointment Friday afternoon. Opps! Guess I'll be doing the gym late again Thursday after working as many hours as I can to get the job done and to make up as much time as I can!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28, 29, 32, 33, 35, 36, 37

Just getting started: 7, 13, 14, 27, 38, 39, 40

Needs attention: 8, 9, 16, 20, 21, 30, 31, 34

Personal Renewal--Step 2

One of the major things I need to get back under control with my personal renewal here is getting healthy & losing weight. I've really fell off that wagon and have been playing with 10lbs for quite some time. I lose it, I gain it back, I lose it, I gain it back. This is not a fun rollercoaster ride, but I am the one doing it to myself. I just need to get serious, take control, and move along with my bad-ass self!

I had decided last week after eating like a pig for the last couple of weeks, that today was my day to get off my butt and take back control with this particular area of my life. I did not think about it all week and sort of just ate whatever I wanted to eat. I didn't sit down and eat just to eat, but I didn't restrict myself either. I picked today because pretty much all of the craziness in our life is over as of today. The anniversary party is over, finals (for now) are over, the munchkin's first communion is over and after this past weekend my bro's "wedding" is over and my munchkin's 8th birthday party is over (even though I have a big ol' chunk of yummy, yummy, yummy cake in my fridge and 3 different kinds of ice cream in the freezer, 2 are no sugar added though!).

So, this morning I got up with every intention of getting back on the healthy band wagon and knew I needed to do my weekly weigh-in. I hate weighing in on a Monday, but since it is only one day off from my normal weekly weigh in I thought I could handle it for this week only. It has been 15 days since I weighed in last and I was expecting not so good results, so here goes... Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 324lbs

This week's results: +4.4lbs

Total weight lost: 39lbs

Okay...not great, but not horrible for eating like a maniac for the last 15 days!!

Last night as I was eating a huge plate of cake and ice cream, knowing what today would bring I saw a few articles on my homepage about weight lost. So I printed them out to read today thinking they couldn't hurt me, but I knew I didn't want to venture reading them while shoveling cake & ice cream into my mouth! This afternoon I read them both. The NYT's article really hit home with me. It reminded me of one of the many reasons why I need to get serious about losing weight again.

The article was "Growing obesity raises risks of childbearing: Extra weight burdens hospitals, jeopardizes health of moms and babies." As you all know, I want to have more babies sometime in the future. Well reading this article put lots of things into perspective for me and one thing it reminded me is the fact that I don't want to have more babies where I am today! I don't want someone to recommend bariatric surgery to me before I become pregnant. I don't want to be like one mother who was 7 months pregnant who was admitted after having a stroke laying in the hospital unable to feel her baby move inside of her...worried if they could stretch out each day without having to deliver a baby! Hell, I don't want a doctor to tell me that they cannot give me an epidural because my fat ass makes it too hard to feel my spine to place the local. I don't want to add to the statistic that 2 in 3 maternal deaths are linked to obesity. I sure as hell do not want to be the topic of a doctors meeting worried that the delivery room table might collapse under me while giving birth!!

Now do not get me wrong...I also do this for my munchkin, because it is no fun having a fat-ass as a mommy. I get it. I really do. So please do not think that my current push to get back on the WWs wagon or I guess I should really call it the "Eating Better, Becoming Healthier & Losing Weight" wagon is solely for the purpose of having another baby. I would never put my desires for the future ahead of my munchkin, because he matters more than anything else!!

And I'm thinking driving to work everyday seeing the huge billboard along the expressway that reads, "Dear Obesity: I'm done with you." is going to help me be motivated each and every day!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 12, 15, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 32, 33, 35, 36, 37
Just getting started: 11, 13, 14, 27, 28, 38, 39, 40
Needs attention: 7, 8, 9, 10, 16, 20, 21, 29, 30, 31, 34

Happy Birthday Munchkin!!!

Today my baby turns 8!! I cannot believe that I am the mother of an 8 year old!! OMG...time has went by so fast! I remember 8 years ago today, right now I was checking in at the hospital to be induced. I couldn't wait to meet our baby. Finally at 11:28pm, June 6, 2002 the munchkin made his appearance! I was so happy at that moment!! :) Just thinking about the last 8 years brings a smile to my lips, a tear to my eye, and a warmth to my heart...

I love you baby!! I am so lucky that you are my son! I am so proud of you! You make me so happy! You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and you are the best thing I've ever done in my life!! My proudest moments throughout the days is when someone says, "You are 'munchkin's' mom!" and I reply, "Yes I am!"

Thank you for making my life a better life my love! Happy Birthday Munchkin!!!!!!!!

Mother Nature @ Work

After getting home from the "wedding" I turned on the TV to be advised that we were under a severe thunderstorm watch. Really? Then within seconds we were advised we were now under a Tornado warning. Seriously? Then the sirens started! I called my aunt since I had just dropped her and the munchkin off at her house. I wanted to make sure they heard the sirens. They had. I agreed to call if I heard something more, they were going to go to bed. The munchkin was so exhausted he didn't feel good. We had left the wedding after I saw him laying on the steps with his head on the landing in front of the DJ. I continued to watch the local news as I caught up on reading my blogs. After the 3rd line of storms have moved through and the Tornado warning was called off, along with finally catching up on my blogs, I am now off to bed to the sounds of thunder and rain and the sights of lightening flashing outside... I too am exhausted, but I couldn't lay down on the steps in front of the DJ so instead I'm going to lay down on my bed hoping that mother nature is almost off the clock soon.

Consider it done: 12, 15, 18, 22, 23, 25

Just getting started: 2, 11, 13, 14, 24, 27, 33, 38

Needs attention: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 26, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 37, 39, 40

No Better Way To Start A Personal Renewal Than With This...

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go shopping

2. Do laundry

3. Get my house cleaned

4. Write out my bills

5. Balance my checkbook

6. File my papers

7. Do all of my Tax homework

8. Work on my S&L paper

9. Write my guy

10. Workout

11. Catch up on my TIVO

12. Catch up on reading my blogs

13. Catch up on my emails

14. Write out the thank you notes for the munchkin's first communion

15. Attend my bro's fake wedding

16. Get the munchkin's birthday pictures taken

17. Celebrate my munchkin's 8th birthday

18. Pick up the munchkin's birthday cake & cupcakes

19. Throw the munchkin his birthday party!

20. Write my "bitch" letter about issues with my guys' facility

21. Follow-up with the registrar's office as my paperwork should be ready by now!!

22. Get my hair "did"

23. Get my nails done

24. Buy the munchkin's birthday gift

25. Figure out (quickly) what I'm getting bro for his fake wedding & get it!

26. Update my June budget

27. Get pics from last weekend developed

28. Prepare to take snack to the munchkin's soccer game

29. Pick up the munchkin's birthday cookies for the soccer game snack

30. Get an oil change

31. Start working with Prof. Arrogance to secure my externship for the fall

32. Follow-up on the munchkin's missing assignment since he is done with 2nd grade Friday!!

33. Follow up on my health care receipts for reimbursement from my flex accounts

34. Get me some serious sleep

35. Get re-motivated

36. Refocus for next week

37. Get back on the WWs band-wagon

38. Plan out my week

39. Get organized

40. Get my shit together!!

Baby Steps

That is as good as it is gonna get this week.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 7, 8

Just getting started: 3, 5, 6, 12, 13, 14, 18, 22

Needs attention: 4, 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24

What Do You Mean It Is June?!?

I cannot believe it is June already! I'm running so far behind! I just keep telling myself "Make it to next week and things will get better, easier & a lot less busy!" So that is my goal...make it to next week!

Consider it done: 1, 2

Just getting started: 3, 5, 6, 12, 13, 14, 18, 22

Needs attention: 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24