More Than A Little Nervous

Tomorrow is the big day...I start at the Defender's Office for my Externship. My head is spinning, my heart is racing, my palms are sweating...guess I'm ready, huh?! I tried to get lots done this weekend to prepare for this week, but as always I didn't get everything done I wanted. Ready or not though the week is upon me. Wish me luck...

Saturday I finally tried on the clothes I ordered several weeks ago in preparation for tomorrow. I'm happy to report that everything fit except for two tops...they were too short for my taste. Now don't get me wrong...they don't fit great. They would be better if I lost another 10lbs, but I was just damn glad they fit! I am hoping to use this as an additional motivator to re-kick restart my battle of the bulge.

Today's Stats...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 325.8lbs

This week's results: -1lb

Total weight lost: -37.2lbs

I am definitely feeling stressed with so much going on in my life right now, but I'm hopeful it will all calm down once I get settled into my new schedule or else it is going to be a long semester...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 9, 10, 16, 17, 21,

Just getting started: 4, 8, 11, 13, 14, 15, 20, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

Needs attention: 5*, 12, 18, 19, 22*, 23

Taking The Bull By The Horns

This is my weekend of renewal. This is my chance to get everything settled and ready to go so I can take on this semester and kick ass! After the past several weeks of falling off my own personal wagon I'm taking this weekend to get back up on that wagon!

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Write out my shopping list

3. Go shopping

4. Pick up the house

5. Get my allergy shot

6. Get my unibrow waxed

7. Get my monthly facial

8. Do laundry

9. Write out my bills

10. Balance my checkbook

11. File my papers

12. Write my guy

13. Do all of my MBE Homework

14. Do all of my SBM Essay Homework

15. Do all of my Externship Class Homework

16. Catch up on my TIVO backlog

17. Prepare for my externship

18. Get the munchkin's birthday pictures taken

19. Workout

20. Start preparing for the munchkin's return to school

21. Start cleaning out our closets and drawers

22. Pick up my script

23. Begin filling out my bar application

24. Get me some serious sleep

25. Get motivated

26. Get focused for next week

27. Get focused on my healthy living

28. Plan out my week

29. Get organized

30. Get my shit together

Getting Back On Top Of Things

So much for going to bed early last night, but at least I got some stuff done. Sometimes getting things done becomes necessary over sleep, which totally sucks because I was complete exhausted all day yesterday.

Of course I've repeated the same thing tonight too, but I'm starting to feel like I'm actually digging myself out of the hole I put myself into this past month. I am hopeful that by the end of this weekend I will be back on top of my game. :)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 28

Just getting started: 19, 27, 29, 30

Needs attention: 11, 12, 17, 20, 21

It Is About Damn Time

Last night my Tax grade was finally released. I was shocked! I did really well. I did better in Tax than I did in my Spirituality & The Law Seminar. Hmmm...I don't know about that, but whatever! I'm one step closer to graduating! All of my required classes are completed and I'm technically only 4 credits from graduating. For financial aid purposes I am taking 7 credits, but only 4 of those credits will be graded and the remaining 3 are pass/fail. Being where I am now is a bit of a stress relief for me too.

This afternoon I called Miami Vice again about my externship, again. I got his voice mail again, but this time it was an assistance voice saying he was out of the office from the 30th through the 2nd. WTF?! So I waited a couple hours and decided to call Ireland, because to be honest I have to get this going! Ireland advised that Miami was definitely in the office and to call him and if Miami didn't get back to me then to call Ireland tomorrow. I called Miami and he answered. I'm all set to start Monday. I have to call Tire Man Friday to coordinate with him for Monday. I'm scared, excited and nervous. I just want to get going already!

I'm glad that things are starting to move forward...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 15, 18, 23, 24

Just getting started: 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

Needs attention: 9, 10, 11, 12, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 22

Mysterious Ways

Last night and today I thanked my lucky stars that I had not started my externship this week, because Aunt Flo's evil brother showed up. God works in mysterious ways...

I am sticking to my new work schedule even though I didn't start my externship, which meant I didn't go into work until 12:30pm. And from the second I walked in I was slammed with work. And the boss just kept piling it on too. Obviously she expects that I will be doing 40 hours worth of work in 32 hours. Go figure... Tomorrow is going to be the worst day of my week with having to put in 10 hours straight at work. So tomorrow I have to actually get up early and make my way to work at a normal time. It sucks! LOL

Now if only I could get some of my stuff caught up on I would feel loads better... Why is it when I don't have any time to get stuff done I am motivated to do stuff, but when I have time to get stuff done I have no desire to do anything. What's up with that? This morning I was totally motivated to get my stuff done, but I couldn't because I had to go to work. Go figure...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 13, 14, 15, 18, 23, 24

Just getting started: 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

Needs attention: 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 22

Just A Little Delay

Today I hoped to start my externship. Miami Vice told me to call the week before I wanted to start. I called last Thursday, but it appears he may be on vacation. It was a little confusing, because his voice mail said he was going to be on vacation from "July 19-July 23"...did he mean August? Did he just forget to change his voice mail from last month? I don't know. I left him a voice mail, but didn't hear back from him.

After Mother Nature kicked the door done starting this weekend I was sort of glad that I didn't hear back from him. Nothing like starting a nerve racking situation in the midst of a personal visit from Niagara Falls. If I don't hear back from him by late tomorrow morning I'll call again and see if I can start next Monday. God works in mysterious ways...

I did start my last semester in law school tonight. Two bar review classes... I already took a test for the MultiState portion of the bar. I got 11 out of 32. Opps!! I felt like an idiot while I was taking it in class. Some of the terms looked familiar, but as for what they mean...no clue here! Guess I have lots of studying to do in the next 6 months.

Also, I have confirmed with a power-that-be that no one failed the Tax class. Our grades have not been released yet, but I have stopped worrying about having to fit that class into my crazy schedule if I failed it. Hopefully I was told the truth and hopefully I will be able to verify this information very soon!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 13, 14, 15, 23, 24

Just getting started: 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

Needs attention: 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22

So...That Is What Is Up!!

This past week has been a catch-up week. Last Sunday I spent over 2 & 1/4 hours chatting with my friend, Captain. It was great to finally catch up with her. We've only been playing phone tag for something like 6 weeks! Later that night I was on the phone with my friend "A" for 1 & 1/2 hours...she was having some type of a crisis. This past Friday night I chatted with my LSBFF for over 1 & 1/4 hours, because I so owed her a call after she talked me off the ledge Thursday afternoon! Thank God for my LSBFF!! I so would not be entering my final semester without her. I Love My LSBFF!!!!

Last night I laid down around 6pm for a little nap and we all know where that ended up, don't we? I cannot seem to take a "little" nap. I woke up completely freaked out. There have been some break-ins in my town lately while people have been home, sleeping, so when I woke up to a strange sound I jumped up fearing someone was in my house and a little confused, because I had no idea what time it was or what the noise was or where it came from other than it had came from inside my house.

I looked at my crackberry and saw it was 10:30pm and I had received a "I'm in need of a friend BBM" from my friend "A" at 6:50pm. I had shut off all except my phone ringers so I didn't get it when she sent it. I felt bad. She is always in a crisis, but I still felt bad that I wasn't there when she needed me. I BBM'd her back and then she called. Over 2 & 1/4 hours later we hung up. She said our conversation helped her feel better. I just wish she would get some focus and get her life together. She really is good hearted even though she can be highly annoying and she deserves so much more. She just has to reach out and take it...

While I was talking to "A" I discovered the noise that woke me with a startle...that was the Diet Coke can expanding and falling over in my freezer. Oh yeah...the one I put in the freezer before I laid down 5 hours earlier. Opps!! At least it wasn't a break-in!! After we hung up I decided to go grocery shopping...at 2:00am. I loved it!! It was almost peaceful shopping. Finally at 6:30am last night/this morning I made myself get a little more sleep. My honey called me at 8:30am so I decided to get up and get a few more things done.

One other thing of great significance happened yesterday. Mother Nature finally knocked! I've only been waiting for the bitch since May!!! This so explains my crazy emotions and issues these last few weeks. It may also explain my desire to eat non-stop the last few weeks too. I've actually felt better, more sane and less hungry the last 24 hours. Hormones are crazy!!! I've never had such effects from hormones before, so I hadn't really considered that as the problem. Even when I was having horrible problems with Mother Nature a few years back. As a result of MN's knocking and my non-stop eating I knew this was going to happen...Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 326.8lbs

This week's results: +5.8lbs

Total weight lost: -36.2lbs

I am not overly upset, because I expected this to happen. It is my own fault by not being able to control my hormones or fight against them! Towards the end of last week I was beginning to think I was chronically depressed with the way I was feeling. I was even growing concerned. I felt like I was losing everything I had worked so hard to accomplish. I know that probably sounds over the top, but I've been depressed before and I was afraid I was going down that dark alley again. Who knew I would be so happy to be having some horrible cramps and a horrific period! I now feel like I'm ready to move on and really pick up the pieces from the last few weeks...

Watch Out World~~I'm back!!

Consider it done: 1*, 2, 3, 5, 6, 13, 15, 23, 24

Just getting started: 4, 8, 14, 25, 27

Needs attention: 7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 26, 28, 29, 30

*~~Due to a delivery snafu for my guy, we opted to cancel our weekly Friday visit, so in place of it I went to the munchkin's biweekly soccer practice and then out to dinner at Logan's Roadhouse Steakhouse.

Trying To Kick A Little Even With No Motivation

Even though I have no motivation or desire to do anything I've been busy. Yesterday I finally bit the bullet and got lots done. I left work early so I could go to school and purchase my books and get my parking pass. From there I drove to the two courts I will be attending with my externship and then to their office! I was really excited as I drove by each place!

From there I came home and made some calls...had a bit of a breakdown. Okay, maybe it was more than a little bit of a breakdown, but thank goodness for my LSBFF, because she totally talked me off the ledge.

I picked up the munchkin and we went to his school and dropped off all of his school supplies. Then we went on to the dentist for our dual appointments. The rest of the evening it was just the munchkin and I, which was very nice, because I know these nights are coming to an end as my semester starts up Monday.

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Write out my shopping list

3. Go shopping

4. Pick up the house

5. Get my hair "did"

6. Get my allergy shot

7. Follow up with my externship boss who I have named Miami Vice

8. Do laundry

9. Write out my bills

10. Balance my checkbook

11. File my papers

12. Write my guy

13. Catch up on my blog reading

14. Catch up on my emails

15. Catch up on my TIVO backlog

16. Catch up on my budget

17. Do all of my homework

18. Prepare for the first week of classes

19. Prepare for my externship

20. Get the munchkin's birthday pictures taken

21. Workout

22. Update my calendar

23. Get the munchkin's soccer schedule

24.

Get me some serious sleep

25. Get motivated

26. Get focused for next week

27. Get focused on my healthy living

28. Plan out my week

29. Get organized

30. Get my shit together

Thank You Doc!

My Specialist rocks my world. I saw her today. She thinks I'm doing great! She suspects that if my numbers remain the same and continue to go down (i.e. that stupid 90!) then when I return in 6 months she will put me on a yearly calendar! Woo-hoo! She also gave me the name of an OB/GYN that she would recommend. Yippee!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 12, 14, 15, 20

Just getting started: 5, 11, 13, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26

Needs attention: 6, 7, 8, 9, 16, 17, 18, 19, 24

It Was A Chips & Salsa Kind Of Weekend!

This weekend I've been trying to get my "mojo" back. It hasn't been easy and it isn't happening quickly, but it is happening. Isn't there a saying "slow and steady wins the race"? Well, I'm hopeful that it will happen for me.

A few things happened this past week that I didn't blog about, so let me catch up now. Thursday night I did dinner with my two former co-workers. I had a blast. I just wish we did it more often!! But as usual life seems to always gets in the way. Of course we went to our favorite chips & salsa place! The chips & salsa must have been pretty yummy because I think we ate two baskets full! What I ordered for my meal was okay...I think it was a little too done though. But I wasn't there for the meal, I was there to catch up with my friends and to eat chips & salsa! That is all that matter. My friends looked great! They were funny as hell~~like always! I haven't laughed that much in a while! OMG...and Dani's hair has gotten so darn long! I think I forgot to tell her that!

Friday my boss returned to work, thank God! I ended up busting my ass again though. I think I'm going to have to keep up on that trend for a while. I've got some massive piles on my desk that accumulated in the last week or two. Oh well, at least it makes the days go by fast. And it isn't so hard, especially if I can get my personal life back in order! Then I went and saw my guy and had a wonderful visit. But I did not go grocery shopping. It was just too damn hot and I was just damn tired. Of course I didn't go to bed until 3am that night, but whatever!

Saturday I got up, got ready and drove to the dealer for my oil change. I pulled up to the big doors and honked for it to open. Nothing happened. Ugh. So I got out of my car, went up to the door and was met with a "We Are Closed Today For Our Annual [Fundraiser]!" Well crap. Guess I'll move that to Monday before my appointment with the Specialist. Okay...no problem. I had another problem to deal with...my crackberry was inoperable. The trackball wouldn't scroll down. Off to Verizon I went...One hour later I walked out with a new crackberry.

By now it was afternoon, so I picked up the munchkin and my aunt and off we went to do some school shopping. This has lost some umph now that he wears uniforms. While we were shopping at Old Navy I started to feel shaky. That morning I had a bowl of cereal and we were planning on grabbing a late lunch/early dinner. I didn't think anything about it. I thought I would be fine. I was actually a little shocked that it appeared my blood sugar was getting too low. Good thing we were pretty done there, so the munchkin and I went and got the car while my aunt checked out for us. When we left there we swung into McDonald's so I could get something to eat to settle my blood sugars. A cheeseburger in the car did the trick. Then off we went to Stride Rite for shoes! Afterwards we went out for Chips & Salsa.

After dinner we headed to Toys 'R Us and then onward to home. I dropped the munchkin & my aunt off at her house. Once I was home I realized that my new crackberry was missing a few things...like a browser for the internet. With only 15 minutes before Verizon closed I hopped in the car. Forty-five minutes later I left Verizon with a fully working crackberry. Back home I came.

Today...I have no idea how this happened. I was totally ready to face the music this morning when I woke up. I busted out the scale ready to see a double-digit gain. I got my butt up on the scale and didn't believe it when the number came up, so I got off, reset the scale and got on it again. Same number. Well...I'll take it! Who am I to laugh in the face of a weight loss?! Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 321lbs

This week's results: -2lbs

Total weight lost: -42lbs

Tonight I knew I needed to keep making progress so I decided I better take a shower...it was 6pm for goodness sake...and go grocery shopping. I did decide that I don't enjoy shopping on Sundays and I need to keep my regular Friday night schedule so this doesn't happen again! But to make up for having to go grocery shopping tonight I ordered take out from my local chips & salsa place. I didn't end up having chips & salsa, but I did end up getting the best appetizer there...white melted mexican cheese, onions, peppers & shrimp. Yummy!! I also picked up shrimp fajitas, but was too full to eat any, so those are in the fridge for tomorrow.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 12, 15, 20

Just getting started: 5, 11, 13, 14, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26

Needs attention: 6, 7, 8, 9, 16, 17, 18, 19, 24

I So Needed This Tonight...

Knowing that tomorrow is really going to suck and knowing that I really need to get back on track in several areas of my life, especially in my battle of the bulge. This reminder email I received this week that I opened tonight should really help me as I fight my way back...

Have you ever found yourself in front of an open fridge and didn’t know how the heck you got there? Ever looked down and saw your hand in a bag of chips and wondered why? Ever had your lunch break roll around and realized you had absolutely no idea what you were going to eat? These are all perfect – and common – examples of not eating on purpose. It sounds like a basic habit, but it’s rarely a habit that people truly follow. Not paying attention to your eating, or eating for the wrong reasons, can sabotage momentum, leave you confused, and ruin any progress you’ve made on the scale. The really frustrating part is that you may not even know you’re doing it. Emotional eating is a problem for a lot of people. Mindless eating may actually be worse. In a poll of SparkPeople.com members, 33% said they eat most often when they’re bored. Only 13% eat most often at the more appropriate time: when they’re hungry. We’re surrounded by eat-for-tainment options, where eating becomes a leisure activity. Weddings, themed restaurants, dinner theaters, ceremonies, receptions, reunions, parties – wherever there’s food, there’s fun. It’s easy to see why aimless eating is so common – it’s something to do. It’s time to wake up from being a food zombie. Take control of your eating habits. Here are some tactics you can use to adopt this habit: Stop skipping meals A regular eating routine keeps you balanced and helps you digest food more efficiently. Plus it helps eliminate the starve-starve-starve-binge cycle many dieters suffer throughout the day. Eat only when hungry Not when you’re bored, sad, nervous, angry, upset or stressed. If you’re at a party with an appetizer buffet, socialize on the other side of the room, so you don’t habitually graze while talking. Listen to your body, not your mind or emotions. Cut back on late night snacking Prime time for television is also prime time for calorie-heavy comfort foods. Snacking at night is often another example of eating to relax or as something to do. Plan for snacks If you’re going to get the munchies – and you will – you might as well make the best of it. Keep raisins, carrot sticks, granola bars, and other healthy snacks within arms’ reach wherever you are. Have a purposeful eating environment This is especially important at home. Choose a regular time and place for your meals. Cut out distractions, take a little extra time preparing and pay attention to your meal. Don’t eat over the counter, while watching TV or while on the phone. By paying more attention to what and how you’re eating, you’ll not only have more control over what goes in your mouth, but you’ll also notice how often you previously ate and didn’t even realize it. The best part is that you’ll naturally start to make better choices. **Courtesy of www.sparkpeople.com

Consider it done: 1, 2, 15

Just getting started: 3, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26

Needs attention: 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 24

Baby Steps

Obviously I totally checked out of my life in the last week or so. And I mean totally! So now I am taking baby steps to get things back in order and already making a little progress. This makes me happy. I know that there will be some severe consequences for my "checking out," but I have to deal with that and I will. I won't be happy about some of those consequences (i.e. Sunday's weigh-in, 'cause it is going to be real bad), but I have no one to blame but myself. Sometimes this feels like such a recurring theme in my life. You would think I would learn, but apparently I don't because I keep repeating this stupid behavior. The worst part is...I know it is stupid and it is bad for me, but I keep doing it. Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing hoping for different results?! Well, I never said I was sane, did I?

I like to try and balance my posts when I reveal I suck (please see prior paragraph)! I picked up my lab work this morning in preparation for my appointment Monday with my specialist. I was so happy to see that every single one of my lab results were normal with one exception. My stupid Creatinine. It is at 90, but should be under 30. But hey...I'm making progress still. So that is awesome. I just wish it was normal too! But my A1C is down to 5.3!! That is .3 less than the last time. The normal range is 4.8-6.0. Yay me!! Now I wait and see what my specialist says Monday.

Alright folks...off to bed so I can keep taking baby steps and make more progress tomorrow.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 15

Just getting started: 3, 12, 13, 21, 22, 25, 26

Needs attention: 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 23, 24

Let's Try This Again

Since I've basically checked out in all areas of my life in the last week I need to try this again this week and get it together...

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Go & see my guy

2. Get my house cleaned

3. Write out my shopping list

4. Go shopping

5. Do laundry

6. Write out my bills

7. Balance my checkbook

8. File my papers

9. Write my guy

10. Catch up on my blog reading

11. Catch up on my emails

12. Catch up on my TIVO backlog

13. Catch up on my budget

14. Get an oil change

15. Pick up a copy of my lab work

16. Get the munchkin's birthday pictures taken

17. Workout

18. Start preparing for next semester

19. Start preparing for my externship

20. Get me some serious sleep

21. Get motivated

22. Get focused for next week

23. Get focused on my healthy living

24. Plan out my week

25. Get organized

26. Get my shit together

I Shouldn't Want My Boss At Work Everyday, Should I?

My boss is on vacation this week. I always thought when the boss was away life was suppose to be easier. Not for me though. For some reason it doesn't work that way in my world. I am crazy busy when my boss is gone. This doesn't make me happy and it makes me want her to never go on vacation, ever!

Consider it done: 1 2, 3, 4, 8, 14, 23, 24

Just getting started: 9, 15, 16

Needs attention: 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

Just Not Feeling It

I don't know why, but I'm just not feeling anything this week. I don't know if it is the let down of summer school and taking the MPRE or what, but I just have no energy for anything. I have no desire to do anything either. If I could I would totally spend this whole week in the bed. I really don't have time for this little let down, but apparently my mojo doesn't care...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 14, 23, 24

Just getting started: 9, 15, 16

Needs attention: 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

Lazy

I am feeling uber lazy. I have accomplished very little so far and it is almost Tuesday. Opps. I even decided to take today off. I just can't seem to get my motor going again. The one thing I can't seem to stop is eating either. You would have thought my weigh-in yesterday would have spurred me into action, but it hasn't yet. I have been eating like crap for almost a week now and it showed....yesterday's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 323lbs

This week's results: +5.4lbs

Total weight lost: -40lbs

I hope I get things back together quickly. Yikes!!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 14, 23, 24

Just getting started: 9, 15, 16

Needs attention: 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30

MPRE=The Need For Prayers

This morning I take the MPRE! Wish me luck!! I so frickin' need it! Not much studying has taken place. I certainly can't rely on my internal ethics either, because I don't believe they are up to par. LOL So I have to rely on my semester of PR a couple semesters ago and that 5 hour review a couple weeks ago!

As for the others taking it...Good Luck!!!

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Take the MPRE

2. Do "drinks" with my LSBFF

3. Go to the fair

4. Take the munchkin to the Monster Trucks

5. Get my house cleaned

6. Write out my shopping list

7. Go shopping

8. Go & see my guy

9. Do laundry

10. Write out my bills

11. Balance my checkbook

12. File my papers

13. Write my guy

14. Catch up on my blog reading

15. Catch up on my emails

16. Catch up on my TIVO backlog

17. Catch up on my budget

18. Get the munchkin's birthday pictures taken

19. Get an oil change

20. Workout

21. Start preparing for next semester

22. Start preparing for my externship

23. RELAX...I feel like I've been going full full force for a long time now.

24. Get me some serious sleep

25. Get motivated

26. Get focused for next week

27. Get focused on my healthy living

28. Plan out my week

29. Get organized

30. Get my shit together

What A Strange Day...

I could not get my day going today. This could be due to lack of sleep last night. Of course I could have came home at any point and went straight to sleep; however, I had stuff to do: allergy shot, voting, & studying.

After work I stopped to the gas station on my way to get my allergy shot and as I was leaving a newly homeless child assisted me with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, him. I don't know if it was because I looked like a soft touch or it was because I had started blaring Eminem as I was waiting to pull out, but he obviously felt comfortable with me, because he hollered at me to see if I had a "smoke" he could have. He looked really young to me so of course I responded, "Um...how old are you?" He then began his life story with "I'm 16, but I just got kicked out of my house and I have no where to go. All I'm asking for is a smoke." So being the softy that I am I yelled, 'You better hustle' and proceeded to hand him the cigarette I already had lit. The kid did look incredibly sad and more than a bit dejected sitting on the embankment. And he could have tried to BS me and say he was 18, which I would never have bought! Hell, I remember smoking at 16 and I didn't give him a whole pack...just one damn newly-used cigarette. Hope he enjoyed it and hopefully he found somewhere to stay tonight...

Last week while getting my allergy shot I asked the Nurse Nice what was Nurse Ratchet's problem. She told me she is a bitch to everyone. Well, I'm curious now if Nurse Nice said something to Nurse Ratchet, because she was as sweet as pie to me today. Interesting... Heck she even cracked a joke as I was leaving tonight.

After the doctor's office I was on my way to vote in our primaries. Stopped at a red light I looked around, which is pretty normal for me. I look over to my left and 3 lanes away some guy in a pick-up truck is looking at me. In that instance I thought it was one of the guys who did the work on my house yesterday and that thought was solidified when he waved at me. So I waved back. Then he mouthed, "How you doin'?" And as I'm mouthing back, across three lanes, "Good. You?" I realize this isn't the guy who did work on my house yesterday. I don't even know this man! Opps!!

So I got my shot & I voted...as for studying, well I didn't get much of that done tonight. Just as I was getting ready to dig into it my munchkin & my aunt came home. So much for that... Oh well, hopefully I will get some more reading done on the treadmill tomorrow and maybe do a practice test Thursday night and take the test Friday. Can I still pass?! Let's hope & pray!!

$1,200 Later...

...my two sinks are replaced, the toilet "guts" are replaced, my trees are trimmed, my dryer vent is replaced, my shutters are all repainted along with the design emblem on the front of my house plus my address numbers are all repainted and what cost the most is all of the skirting around my house has been replaced too! So much for underspending this month's budget...

I also got a great workout in today! Woo-hoo...

Tomorrow is a busy day...work, allergy shot, voting in our state primaries and then home to study for the MPRE.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 20, 21, 22, 23

Just getting started: 11, 19, 24, 25

Needs attention: 17

Why Is This So Hard?

Back in my teen years I worked at both Wendy's & Taco Bell. I was always put on the cash register, because I was fast and efficient. I never in my life ever made a sandwich or a taco or a burrito or anything like that. I was in charge of taking orders and all that goes with that and making drinks. I don't remember it being that hard! Don't get me wrong...it can be tiring and I totally get that. For goodness sake I worked at the Taco Bell inside our one and only mall and that was when Taco Bell was just starting to be "the fast-food place to go!" I remember when I was a little kid everyone thought if you ate at Taco Bell you were totally welfare!! Ha!! Not even 10 years later it was all the rage! So how is it that the two places I went yesterday, Arby's & Wendy's, both screwed up my order??

Come on people, it isn't rocket science & I'm not even that difficult of an orderer!! I hate lettuce on my chicken sandwiches, so I ordered my chicken sandwich sans lettuce with extra mayo~emotional, remember?!? What was on it when I got home? You guessed it~lettuce!! Now mind you at Arby's it isn't like a lettuce slice you can just peel off...oh no! It is shredded lettuce mixed in with the mayo, so you are totally screwed! Then after getting my pampering done and picking up some sugar-free ice cream (see my previous post about being emotional) for the house I went through Wendy's drive thru for my usual large diet coke. Of course I got to throw that out when I got home, because they gave me regular coke. UGH!!! Come on people!! You weren't even busy...there was one car in front of me and no one behind me and you still couldn't get that right?! Seriously!?! It was just more cost effective to toss out the $1.05 coke than it was to spend my time & gas driving to the other side of town. Plus I was a little afraid in my current state of mind that I would take the large drink and throw it on the woman who gave it to me as I returned it and so politely asked for a corrected drink!

What is hard though is losing weight...well, that is one of the hard things in life. At least it is for me!! It is so crazy hard that it isn't even funny!! Like not even a little bit. I'm usually disgusted when I read about people who are trying to gain weight and just can't! Um come over here and I'll show you how to gain weight!! I'm never too upset to eat or too happy to eat or too hot to eat or too tired to eat and by golly I'm never too busy to eat! And I'm not a lover of all things healthy for you, heck I'm not even a liker of it. I get the concept...duh! I know it is healthier and better for you to eat whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and it isn't healthy to eat anything white, processed or fried. And I know it makes things worse for you to eat those things! BUT I LOVE THEM. And I don't mean love in the sense of 'I prefer,' I mean I truly love them!! I sometimes wake up in the morning and think of all the yummy, nasty crap I could eat!!

When I went to the nutritional folks after I was diagnosed as a diabetic I told the women if I lived in a perfect world my daily menu would consist of greasy pizza for breakfast, a big mac for a snack, horrible fried Chinese food for lunch, chocolate cake for a snack, and Mexican smothered in cheese & sour cream for dinner, and a hot fudge (with extra fudge) sundae for dessert! I included the fact that this would all be washed down with coke (the real deal) and chocolate malts! They laughed and I thought, "No! I'm being serious here people!" But since my insides had started catching up with my fat ass on the outside I've been struggling to make all those hard sucky decisions. Some days are easier than others. Okay...the easy days are the days I just sleep the entire day away and since we both know that doesn't happen often, almost every day is a hard day in making those damn "better for you" decisions.

Well today I weighed in and I'm back here with Today's Stats...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 317.6lbs

This week's results: -3.2lbs

Total weight lost: -45.4lbs

I was very excited to see this number come up this morning! I mean...very excited!! Hello!! It is the lowest I've weighed since I started this whole journey over a year ago!! I was actually a little shocked too, because I didn't have the best week. It wasn't a bad week, but I went over my calories every single day this week. I only made it to the gym once and I knew I was feeling pretty damn emotional this entire week, especially the last two days. Plus when I put a pair of jeans on yesterday I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I do think this little good news was exactly what I needed today and for this week. :)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 18, 20, 22

Just getting started: 19, 21, 25

Needs attention: 10, 11, 16, 17, 23, 24