Welcome to My World!!

My photo
From A Small Town, In The Midwest, United States
My favorite quote...We all live in hiding. In one way or another each of us conceal pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it. Others because they don't like being seen. And then there are those special cases, the ones who hide because they just want someone to care enough to look for them...Which one are you?

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Enjoy Your Weekend Y'all!!

By now we are well on our way to Dutch Country... :) Maybe when we come home Monday we will be in wooden shoes. :)

Friday, May 28, 2010

Did You Think I Forgot?

With being so exhausted after our meeting yesterday I did not get much done last night after I got home around 10pm and since I had to do a clerk's job today and file something with the Probate Court I didn't have time to give a better update while I was at work.

Of course I am suppose to pick up the aunt with our bags packed by 10am tomorrow to head to Dutch Country for the weekend. The only things I have packed are the things I didn't unpack from yesterday! Exhaustion continues from yesterday so I guess I'll just have to get up early tomorrow and pack, because I just don't see it getting done before hand!

I could certainly use a vacation, but I'm thinking a 3-day holiday weekend in Dutch Country with the munchkin and the aunt while attending the Ranger's Wife's Baby-Shower isn't what I really need.

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Go to Dutch Country
2. Attend my cousin's wife's baby-shower in Dutch Country
3. Write out my grocery list
4. Go shopping
5. Do laundry
6. Pick up the house
7. Write out my bills
8. Balance my checkbook
9. File my papers
10. Write my guy
11. Workout
12. Get me some sleep
13. Catch up on my emails
14. Catch up on my TIVO
15. Write my "bitch" letter about issues with my guys' facility
16. Write out the thank you notes for the munchkin's first communion
17. Work on my S&L paper
18. Do all of my Tax homework
19. Get re-motivated
20. Refocus for next week
21. Refocus with WWs
22. Plan out my week
23. Get organized
24. Get my shit together

Had To Let You Know

I got more done this week than I even anticipated! LOL :)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 13, 15, 17, 19, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36
Just getting started: 14, 20, 24, 32
Needs attention: 9, 10, 11, 16, 18

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Now we wait...

So this morning I went to my guy's hearing. Talk about a range of emotions!! Okay...maybe not too much of a range just varying degrees of being scared! I was nervous and scared this morning when I got up, I was nervous and scared when I arrived and while waiting. I was nervous and scared during our 15 minutes in front of the board. I was nervous and scared afterwards. I likely will remain nervous and scared until a decision is made.

My guy and I have both agreed that we have no control over the situation and that we will deal with whatever decision we receive. Well...we sort of have to, but you know what I mean! I probably won't mention it again until a final decision comes along as it doesn't make for great blog fodder; however, it is great to be able to express my frightened anxiety!

Now I'm off to grab some grub and do some homework. Seriously I'm already 8 chapters behind in Tax and we've only had 2 classes! Seriously?!? Off to read y'all!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 13, 15, 17, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 33
Just getting started: 14, 20, 24, 32, 34, 35, 36
Needs attention: 9, 10, 11, 16, 18, 19

Less than 8 hours to go...

And I will be at my guy's hearing! Talk about nerves!!! Yikes!!! Wish us luck!

So I'm sitting in a hotel room, alone, thinking I should be in the bed already and wishing the hearings started in the afternoon not 8am. Ugh... Why can't we work from an afternoon schedule. So no rest for the wicked. Off to bed y'all!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 13, 15, 21, 22, 25, 26, 27, 28, 33
Just getting started: 14, 24, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35
Needs attention: 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 23, 36

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Follow-Up Finally Paid Off

I walked into my office this morning, flipped on the computer and began checking my email. There was an email from my big boss asking me to type up an email to send to his co-horts requesting to partake in an externship in the fall. So I spent the next half an hour crafting my email...trying to make sure it was perfect! By the end of the day I received my answer...it is a go. Of course there are a few more strings than normal, but totally doable. I just have to make sure I continue to work 32 hours a week and can take 8 hours unpaid. Okay...I was hoping for a little more flexibility, but totally doable! Better than a "hell no!" Guess my follow-up finally paid off!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 13, 15, 21, 22, 25, 26, 27, 28, 33
Just getting started: 14, 24, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35
Needs attention: 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 23, 36

Monday, May 24, 2010

I'm Officially In Summer School

Tonight was my first Tax class for my summer semester. I forgot how borderline rude Prof. Tax Guru is!

We are placed in the biggest, but hottest rooms at school. There are 6 rows in this room. And when I say that this is the biggest room we have I'm not saying that there is room for more than 80 people in the room, if that. It isn't like my school has a lecture hall that can accommodate hundreds of people y'all! The room is so little a prof. doesn't even have to use a microphone for everyone to hear him or her.

So tell me this....why the hell has Prof. Tax Guru demanded that we all jam together in the first 3 rows?!? WTF?!? Apparently he doesn't get the whole concept that if you cram people together into a smaller space it gets hotter. It sure as shit don't get cooler.... Ugh... He also doesn't get the whole buffer system either. How is this a foreign concept?!?

On other news I finally got 2 of my 3 grades for last semester. I've passed so far! :) Woo-hoo!!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, 15, 22, 25, 26, 27, 28, 33
Just getting started: 13, 14, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35
Needs attention: 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 29, 36

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Bret Michaels Rocks & Wins!!

Tonight on Celebrity Apprentice Rocker Bret Michaels won!! Woo-hoo!! I'm so happy! Of course my rock 'n roll side has loved Bret Michaels ever since the first time I saw the video of Poison's Unskinny Bop! ;) Way to go Bret!! So proud of you and way to represent diabetics my man! :) Now get your ass back to Phoenix, back home to Kristi, Raine & Jorja, and get healthy again 'cause you've been through a lot lately and you have a lot to live for!!!!

Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363.0lbs
Current weight: 319.6lbs
This week's results: -2.8lbs
Total weight lost: 43.4lbs

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 15, 22, 27, 28, 33
Just getting started: 5, 12, 13, 14
Needs attention: 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36

Saturday, May 22, 2010

A Week In Review

So, last Sunday night I started with a crazy little cough. I really thought it was my allergies acting up due to all of the rain and wind we've been experiencing. I soon learned that it wasn't just my allergies. Monday I hacked my way through work and then onto Urgent Care. By 7:30pm that night I was diagnosed with (another) sinus infection and an upper respiratory infection, had (re) started my antibiotics, and was already sound asleep!

Tuesday morning I got up at 5:40am, called into work and went back to bed. I got up again at 11:30am. Yes, 16 hours after I originally went to bed! I ate, emailed my laid-back Prof. about class that night and as soon as he responded saying that I was excused from attending my butt was back in bed by 2:30pm. I got up around 8:00pm that night and went back to bed by 10:30pm. Wednesday morning I called in again at quarter till 6am and didn't get up until 10:30am that morning after I talked with my guy and he told me I needed to get some fresh air to start feeling better. I was in complete agreement so after I got up I stripped my bed and lysol'd my room. I think did my laundry, picked up the house and got ready to go to class that night...I didn't want to push my luck.

Thursday I returned to work, but still felt pretty crappy. After work I went to my last S&L class and then picked up taco bell for the munchkin, aunt & I for dinner. When I walked through the door with dinner my aunt tells me that my bro is in the ER with what they think could be a broken jaw. WTF?!? This is where things really started to heat up this week! We were told how his manager sent him out to deal with a drug-dealing trucker and to tell him to leave and the guy hit him and took off into the woods. So I bbm his ol' lady and she starts going on how he is going to get fired because OSHA won't take his urine sample because they didn't collect it and the hospital gave him pain killers, etc. My mom is at their house with the 2 boys and the ol' lady is at the ER w/bro. In an effort to help I call my other aunt and we go to the hospital to get bro's keys and get his truck from work to his house. This was partly done, because I suspected that the two of them would be stupid enough to attempt to get the truck home upon bro's release regardless of the amount of drugs in his system.

We arrive at the hospital upon ignoring his ol' lady's bbm telling us there wasn't a need to be there. We walked into his ER room and were instantly hit with a wall of hostility. There was only one person in the room, his ol' lady. To say that she was hostile and rude to us is an understatement. I have never been treated with such disrespect by a family member in my life! After my bro returned to his room from radiology she threatened to go home so we could carry on with our party. Huh?!? Bitch, are you high?!? After constant unacceptable disrespect, I snapped. I fired back that I just came to help and obviously I'm harming so I took my bro's key and walked out of the hospital with my aunt. We went to bro's work, talked to his boss and the co-worker that was with bro when this went down. This is where we got the true account of what happened and it was just as we suspected...my idiot bro was his typical hot-headed self, confronted said drug-dealer against his manager's wishes and wouldn't let the man leave the premises while they waited for the police to show up. Dude pushed bro, bro pushed back, dude decked bro and according to his boss, bro got his ass whooped.

Well, Thursday night I finally got home around 11:30pm still pissed off. In an effort to unwind I decided to work on my TIVO backlog and started watching the Grey's Anatomy season finale. OMG!!!! Nine minutes in I was standing in the middle of my living room with my mouth wide open! Needless to say it did not help me unwind! Did anyone else see that???? I went to bed around 1:15am. I was still wide awake at 2:30am. Still pissed off about how we were treated hours earlier, so I rolled over, deleted both of them from bbm on my phone and rolled back over. I finally fell asleep sometime after 3am...

My ass was exhausted come Friday morning at work! I pushed through, got lots of stuff done at work and then made my way out to see my guy. :) I hit two hiccups on the way out there. The first one actually developed at lunch with a co-worker. The entire time we were at lunch I kept catching her looking at my boobs! It got to the point that I wanted to ask WTH?!? Instead I started to get the feeling that maybe you could see my green bra through my top so in a panic I decided to stop on my way out to see my guy and pick up a new bra! I just didn't want to relive the designer hole incident. The second hiccup was the frickin' rain! It has been raining off and on for days here. And when I say rain...I mean downpours! Thunder and lightening were in tow, of course. At one point I was driving 35mph in a 70mph speed zone. But it was all worth it to get those 2 hours with him. :) After my shitty week I really needed those 2 hours of down time... Needless to say I slept like a baby last night...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 15, 27*, 28*
Just getting started: 12, 13, 14
Needs attention: 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36

*~~Well, I decided not to cancel and reschedule, so I've been waxed and facialized.**
**~~Yes, I know that isn't a word, but I like how it sounds so I'll be keeping it! :)

Friday, May 21, 2010

Updates Will Come Soon, I Promise...

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Bust my ass at work
2. Go & see my guy
3. Write out my grocery list
4. Go shopping
5. Do laundry
6. Pick up the house
7. Write out my bills
8. Balance my checkbook
9. File my papers
10. Write my guy
11. Workout
12. Get me some sleep
13. Catch up on my emails
14. Catch up on my TIVO
15. Catch up on reading my blogs!
16. Write my "bitch" letter about issues with my guys' facility
17. Follow-up on my email to the registrar's office
18. Write out the thank you notes for the munchkin's first communion
19. Do the rest of my S&L homework
20. Work on my S&L paper
21. Prepare for my guy's hearing
22. Book my room for my guy's hearing
23. Attend my guy's hearing
24. Pack for our weekend trip for Memorial Day weekend
25. Get ready for my Tax class
26. Do all of my Tax homework, if any
27. Cancel my waxing & facial appointment
28. Reschedule my waxing & facial appointment
29. Start planning the munchkin's birthday party
30. Get re-motivated
31. Refocus for next week
32. Refocus with WWs
33. Plan out my week
34. Get organized
35. Get my shit together
36. Update my new calendar!

Oh My...

Illness...

Broken Jaw...

Family Disputes...

Grey's Anatomy...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 11, 12, 14, 16, 20, 21
Just getting started: 4, 5, 13, 15, 18, 19
Needs attention: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 17, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Sunday, May 16, 2010

An Important Date In My Family

In my family May 16th is a big date. It is my Nana's birthday (she would have been 84 today~~Happy Birthday Nana! We love you & miss you like crazy!!) and it is also my aunt & uncle's wedding anniversary (I think it has been 23 years now). So needless to say this is an important date in our family...

Friday~~I was beyond irritated and frustrated the majority day at work, but by the end of the day I was feeling better. I don't know if it was because the week was finally coming to an end or if it was during another conversation with my boss where she said I was one of the few in the office that actually did their job completely and correctly. That made me feel good, actually great, but I haven't figured out why people cannot just do their job!?! Wouldn't life just be easier if we all did our jobs? And did them correctly? If everyone did their job completely and correctly less people would be irritated and frustrated and life would be a bit better at work and since we spend so much time at work I believe in the end life in general would be better. But I guess this is just me!

After work, I raced off to see my guy. Things have been a little strained this week with us, because during a conversation Wednesday morning I said something snarky and then the phone clicked and our conversation was over. I was beyond pissed and hurt over the idea that my guy had just hung up on me. As soon as I got to the office I fired off an email to him saying how I didn't think what I said was worthy of being hung up on... Less than an hour than the first call came in, my guy called back to tell me that the fire alarm was pulled in his neighboring unit (again...apparently someone there has a fetish with pulling the fire alarm averaging 3 pulls a day/night) and therefore the phones were instantly shut off. Opps! My bad. So I had to tell him to ignore my earlier email... I guess my "jumping to conclusions" put a little damper in his step, because he didn't call Thursday or Friday. Men can be such babies! Regardless we had a good visit, except I was exhausted. This always happens with my Friday night visits, but this week I was super tired. It probably has to do with the constant rain we've had all week.

Saturday~~Up and out of the house early. The munchkin had the Scout-O-Rama to attend and the Pine Wood Derby to race. We rooted hard, but the munchkin lost all 4 of his races. He was really disappointed until he discovered he could take his car home now and play with it! We then spent a couple of hours walking around the boy scout camp sites, grabbed some yummy food, and then we went our separate ways...I came home, mom & dad went off on their bikes to wherever their 2 wheels were to take them, and the munchkin with aunt stayed to play on the amusement rides (i.e. two bouncies and a rock wall). I came home and basically did nothing. I was just so darn tired. I thought about going to bed at 5pm, then again at 7pm and again at 9pm. Finally at 9:30pm I decided to finally make my way to the bed. I was playing klondike on my crackberry when my man called about 20 after 10:00pm to see how the munchkin made out. Of course less than 5 minutes into our conversation some asshole pulled the fire alarm, again. What is wrong with these guys?!? The phones didn't shut off so we kept talking until a CO came up to ask my guy what he was doing. LOL When he learned the phones didn't shut off like they are suppose to, the CO told my guy to hang up the damn phone. I then rolled over and went to sleep...

Until my guy called and woke me up this morning at 9am. It almost makes things feel normal, going to sleep with my guy's voice the last thing I hear and the first thing I hear in the morning. Well, with the exception of the ringing phone in the middle...

I'm hoping this little blip up is thanks to Mother Nature's impending arrival. Last Saturday when I went to the psychic at Ladies Night she told me there are two things holding me back with my weight loss goals...school and lack of will power. Duh! I know this already and didn't need a psychic to tell me that! I need someone to tell me how to over come those two things...

Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363.0lbs
Current weight (today): 322.4lbs
This week's results: +0.8lbs
Total weight lost: 39.6lbs

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 11, 12, 14, 16
Just getting started: 4, 5, 13, 15
Needs attention: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28

Friday, May 14, 2010

Bonding Time With My Boss

Yesterday afternoon I had the opportunity to bond with my direct boss (not the big boss). I won't bore you with the details, that will be in a separate post, but it ended with me saying, "I should apologize, but I'm just frustrated, irritated, bitchy & PMS'g." It is probably a good thing we are friends and were before she became my boss.

I know I need to pull my head out of my ass with regards to work, but lately I just can't. :( I'm hopeful it will change very soon. I'm fearful that it won't change until I'm either done with school and in an attorney position or I'm somewhere else...

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Go & see my guy
2. Write out my grocery list
3. Go shopping
4. Do laundry
5. Pick up the house
6. Write out my bills
7. Balance my checkbook
8. File my papers
9. Write my guy
10. Workout
11. Get me some sleep
12. Attend the munchkin's pine wood derby
13. Catch up on my TIVO
14. Catch up on reading my blogs!
15. Write my "bitch" letter about issues with my guy's facility
16. Follow-up on my email to the registrar's office....ugh!
17. Write out the thank you notes for the munchkin's first communion
18. Do all my Spirituality and The Law (S&L) homework
19. Start my S&L paper
20. Compare my old Tax books with the books required for next semester to see if I need to buy new (which is highly likely...it is law school we are talking about!)
21. Buy my Tax books, if needed
22. Get re-motivated
23. Refocus for next week
24. Refocus with WWs
25. Plan out my week
26. Get organized
27. Get my shit together
28. Update my new calendar!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Flood Watch

So apparently tomorrow we are suppose to get up to 3" of rain on top of the 1.5" of rain we received yesterday. Isn't life grand?!? I guess I'll be boating into work in the morning. Happy Sailing!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
Just getting started: 12, 31, 32
Needs attention: 10, 13, 18, 21

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Follow-Up

So this morning I had to tell the big boss something, so I thought I would ask about the status of our discussion back on April 8th. Good thing I did, because he hadn't done a damn thing about it. Are you kidding me?!? I've been waiting on pins and needles to hear about it and come to find out it didn't go any further than his little notepad! Nice...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
Just getting started: 12, 23, 31, 32
Needs attention: 10, 13, 18, 21

Monday, May 10, 2010

Intersession Semester Begins

Well, tonight I started my seminar tonight. It actually was sort of fun! I think this class is going to be a sort-of breeze with the exception of that damn 25 page paper I have to write! Yikes!

Okay...so as you know I would love to do Criminal Defense and since this class is about spirituality and morals I've decided to write my paper focusing on morals and Criminal Defense Attorneys. Any suggestions on specific topics within this area for me to research and write on are appreciated. :)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 14, 15, 17, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
Just getting started: 12, 16, 23, 31, 32
Needs attention: 10, 13, 18, 21

Progress Is A Great Thing!

Each day I make more and more progress on my road to recovery! I feel good about it! I just feel good in general, which is such a positive thing! So even with a hellish mini-semester approaching and mother nature set to arrive Tuesday, I feel great. Now I just have to get my ass to bed so I don't fall asleep in class or at work...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 14, 15, 17, 19, 20, 22, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30
Just getting started: 12*, 16**, 23, 31, 32
Needs attention: 10, 13, 18, 21

*~~Sending an email is a start, right?!?
**~~4 more to go!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

to everyone! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363.0lbs
Current weight (today): 321.6lbs
This week's results: -4.2lbs
Total weight lost: 41.4lbs

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 11, 14, 15, 17, 19, 20, 25
Just getting started: 16, 22, 23, 27, 28, 29, 31, 32
Needs attention: 10, 12, 13, 18, 21, 24, 26, 30

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Making Progress Already

Consider it done: 1*, 2, 3, 11, 15, 17, 19
Just getting started: 4, 5**, 6***, 9, 14****, 16, 23, 27, 28, 29, 32
Needs attention: 7, 8, 10, 12, 13, 18, 20, 21, 22, 24, 25, 26, 30, 31

*~~Didn't per se bust my ass, but I was at work all day! That's a plus, right?
**~~One load folded yet to put away, one load in the dryer waiting to be folded, and the last load in the washer!
***~~With my house being cleaned I equate this "to-do" item with putting groceries away and since all I have managed to do thus far is put the items that needed to be refrigerated or frozen away, I'm just getting this one started.
****~~When I go to bed in mere minutes, I am doing so with the intention of sleeping until I wake up tomorrow. I did set my alarm for 1:30pm just in case...

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Beginning Of A New Road

Continuing from the wonderful feeling I had yesterday, I feel like I need to capitalize on it. I cannot afford to let this opportunity pass me by. It doesn't come by often. So I declare today the beginning of a new road for me...

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Bust my ass at work.
2. Go & see my guy
3. Write out my grocery list
4. Go shopping
5. Do laundry
6. Pick up the house
7. Write out my bills
8. Balance my checkbook
9. Register the munchkin for next year's soccer season
10. File my papers
11. Get my house cleaned
12. Write my guy
13. Workout
14. Get me some sleep
15. Finish working on my May Budget
16. Catch up on my emails
17. Catch up on my TIVO
18. Write my "bitch" letter about some issues I have with my man's facility
19. Email the registar's office about my class audit for graduation in December
20. Celebrate Mother's Day
21. Write out the thank you notes for the munchkin's first communion
22. Get last weekend's pictures developed
23. Get a receipt for munchkin's therapy appointment from yesterday
24. Return one of my presents to the munchkin as the angel pin was broken
25. Try on the shoes my other aunt bought that didn't fit her
26. Get ready for my mini-semester
27. Get re-motivated
28. Refocus with WWs
29. Refocus for next week
30. Plan out my week
31. Get organized
32. Get my shit together

Thursday, May 6, 2010

On The Road To Recovery

When I woke up this morning I felt like I was a whole new woman! Talk about feeling like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I don't think I realized how horrible I felt about this past semester until this morning when I woke up knowing it was over. I think the funk has lifted. I think the funk was this semester! I likely did horrible, but hey all that matters is that it is over! Amen!!

I didn't get as much done this week as I wanted, but there is always next week! I hope you felt as great today as I did, because I'm on the road to recovery!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 23, 24
Just getting started: 3, 4, 5, 6, 18, 21, 22, 25, 26
Needs attention: 14, 15, 16, 17, 20

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

It's over...so over

My semester that is! :)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Wish me luck...

'Cause tomorrow night is my E&T final! I'm going to need all the luck I can get!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Munchkin's First Communion

So today was the munchkin's first communion and he did wonderful!! :) He looked so handsome in his black suit. His reading went very well. He stumbled once, but he over came it like a pro and finished beautifully! I was so damn proud of my son! A few times I teared up, but I was able to keep it under control and reel those tears back in before they fell.

I was happy to see my parents when they arrived, along with my two aunts and my uncle. I was thinking my day was turning around after my hideous weigh-in this morning. That was until my camera flashed low battery before the kids were even in their seats. I got the bright idea of going over to my mom and steal her batteries as I saw her with her camera just minutes before. I was surprised when I got to where they were sitting and they were gone. I asked a friend of ours who was in the seat next to them where my parents were and I was shocked when she said, "Oh, they left." WHAT?!? Needless to say I was beyond pissed and more than a little hurt.

I held it together throughout the ceremony and just focused on the munchkin again and my dying camera. After mass ended and pictures in the grotto were done, we headed over to the church hall for their cake and punch. Talk about feeling alone as I sat at a huge table with just my munchkin (my aunt had to help serve the cake as she is the assistant teacher for their class), looking around at the tables full of families celebrating their child's first communion. Tables with parents, Godparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers surrounding their first communicant. I was very sad and felt very alone at that moment. I felt very sorry for my munchkin that he didn't have more of his family around him to celebrate, because his family, my family, is too selfish to look beyond their issues to celebrate with their grandson and nephew. I will not forgive nor will I forget what my parents pulled today or the fact that my bro & his family didn't show up to witness such a huge moment in my son's life... I pity them for being assholes.

After the cake and punch, my aunt took my munchkin to her house as I ran home to get my sloppy joes and other items that I needed to take to the munchkin's party. The assholes showed up for the party. My parents acted like nothing happened and like they didn't bail from their grandson's first communion mass. My bro acted like a stuck-up ass refusing to speak to me or my munchkin. Then he and his wife decided that they no longer eat sloppy joes or corn on the cob or tossed salad and therefore their kids didn't eat. Whatev! Apparently I was raised different, because I was always raised to take a little something and not to be rude to the host by telling them 'oh I don't eat that.' Don't worry bro...when you are paying $12/plate for my meal at your fake wedding I will make sure that "I don't eat that" and to drink plenty of booze. Pay back is a bitch y'all!

Can you tell that I'm not feeling the love for my family today?

But baby, I was so proud of you! I love you! Congratulations on your 1st Communion Munchkin! :)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 10, 11, 12, 13
Just getting started: 3, 4, 5, 6
Needs attention: 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26

Where Did I Go Wrong?!?

Today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363.0lbs
Current weight (today): 325.8lbs
This week's results: +7.2lbs
Total weight lost: 37.2lbs

Okay...I'm not really sure what went wrong this week. I worked out twice this week...78 mins on the treadmill total and 80 mins on the weights. I only ate out twice...Wednesday night after the meeting with the munchkin's teacher we went out to dinner, but all I had was a burger. I didn't even eat my fries. Of course this was the same night that I lost control with a big ass bowl of ice cream and hot fudge. Okay...I'll give you that one. But 7.2lbs?!? It wasn't a freezer full of ice cream and hot fudge! The second time was Friday night eating taco bell, but come on already! I didn't even lose control at the party last night.

So I'm a bit confused. Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am. I don't know if it was the fact that I didn't get my full 64ozs of water in every single day (I did most days!) and I got absolutely no water in yesterday. Was it what I ate at the party? I had some broasted chicken, au gratin type potatoes, salad with Betty's Dressing, and some mostaccioli with a roll and butter. I wouldn't think that would be so bad. I didn't think I ate that much, but maybe I did... Ugh.

Talk about feeling defeated. I didn't expect a crazy loss or anything and after the ice cream situation I would have understood if I didn't lose anything, but I so did not expect this!

So now I'm a bit nervous...my frig is packed with leftovers from last night's party and the munchkin's first communion party. Can I eat it? Should I eat it? Should I throw out all of this food and be wasteful? I mean this food could easily feed all of us for a week...um yeah...my grocery budget is already out of control. How can I in good conscious throw out all of this food?

Consider it done: 1*, 2, 10, 11, 12, 13
Just getting started: 3, 4, 5
Needs attention: 6, 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26

*~~I didn't bust my ass, but I was at work for the day! Counts for something, right?

One Party Down, One To Go

So Saturday night was the parents' 25th Wedding Anniversary party. It went better than I expected. I always expect the worst when it comes to family events. Things were definitely strained between the bro & I, but that is nothing new. I don't know if we will ever get past that and I know there is no hope of me getting past my issues until after his fake wedding, so no need to worry about it now as we have another 5 weeks before that is over. So lets move on...

Everyone seemed to have a good time. Hell, I even danced (once)! My hair guy showed up as he and the salon owner were both invited, but the owner wasn't feeling well so he could not make it. I hope he starts feeling better soon! :) But my hair guy (who out did himself with my hair) commented on my makeup telling me he noticed me as soon as he walked into the hall from across the room, because my makeup just "popped"! He loved it! hehehe I did try something new and took my eyes much darker with some new deep green colors. I guess I found my "Saturday night make-up" versus my work makeup since all the fashion posts of the last couple of weeks said it should be different! LOL Heck, I even wore lipstick! This is a huge shocker for me. I haven't worn lipstick since high school with the exception of my wedding almost 10 years ago...

Actually I've been doing a few things lately that I haven't done in 10 years or longer, for instance wearing flip-flops! Yikes! I must really be having a crisis. LOL But I digress...

Of course we didn't leave until almost 10:30pm, which was 1.5-2 hours later than planned. That meant the munchkin didn't get to bed until almost midnight and I didn't get the sloppy joes for his party done until after 1am. Now I'm off to bed so I can get up extra early so we can do the first communion thing tomorrow and then I can get home after that party and get some things on my list done, because as you can tell I haven't had a chance to get much done this weekend other than pampering and partying...

Consider it done: 1*, 2, 10, 11, 12
Just getting started: 3, 4, 5
Needs attention: 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26