I confess today that I am not a camper. I've never had a desire to camp or even the small thought of 'Oh, maybe that would be fun. Let's try that.' Like as in NEVER! I don't enjoy being outside at night, sleeping, nor do I enjoy being cramped into a tiny space with no protection other than some flimsy material between me and the outside elements, which in my mind include weather, animals, and other people. But I do love my son, so last night we went camping...
As a part of the munchkin's cubscout pack, we went to our local farm team (baseball folks!) to do a sleepover. First we arrived there early enough so the kids could line up and partake in a little cubscout's parade on the field before the game. Then we were to settle into a whole baseball game. This is always fun with a child diagnosed with ADHD! Especially a 9 year old boy who is there with five other 9 year old boys. At one point I thought if I hear "Hey guys, he has 3 balls!!" one more time I was going to pop off with, "We all get it...he has 3 balls instead of 2, it was only funny the first 3 innings!"
After the game some of us moms trekked out to the cars to grab the camping gear. This was super fun for me since the shoulder strap on the bag that my parents' tent was in snapped within 10 feet from my car. Always extra special! Luckily the only dad who trekked out with us put my bag on top of their bag on wheels and hauled it in. Of course me and one other mom were at the end of our group coming back into the stadium and were stopped to be told that we couldn't re-enter until the fireworks display happened. It was irrelevant to them that our children were inside waiting for our return or the fact that the rest of our group had made it in. So instead we stood, out on the street, while the fireworks happened and the non sleep-over folks left before we could reenter.
Once we were allowed to reenter, we made our way back to the group and waited until they cleared the field so we could go in the outfield and set up our tents. And by setting up our tent that meant me waiting for someone to feel sorry for me and come over and do it. It is extra special when you pull something out of a bag and ask, "Is this the tent?" Tents were set up and we were advised there were going to be 700 campers out there in the outfield for the night. Oh boy! What fun!! 698 other people plus me and the munchkin.
The lights were finally shut off at close to 1am and I was exhausted. I couldn't wait to go to sleep! But there were a few things that I hadn't considered or taken into account...
- It was frickin' hot as hell out there! It had been hot all day and at game time, 7pm, the temp was 88 degrees and muggy. Being down in a stadium cut off a lot of the breeze and after being in the heat and humidity for over 7 hours, it is a bit unbearable because you have sweat your ass off and are just disgusting and sticky!
- The parents' tent was the size of my kitchen table, which seats only 4 people!
- Tons of cubscouts and their leaders, parents, and siblings equals a lot of noise...ALL NIGHT LONG!
- Our wake up call was coming in less than 6 hours!
This leads to confession #2...I am old!!
Sleeping on the ground with only the same flimsy material between your body and the ground provides no protection down there either. And the thought that a sleeping bag will provide some cushion is a cruel joke. Needless to say after a couple hours of light sleeping I started to fear that I may not be able to stand up when our wake up call happened, let alone walk, or lift anything! This realization came at 3am and I had 4 more hours to discover if I would need to phone 911 to get my fat-ass out of the tent and out of that stadium!
At 6:30am I couldn't wait to get this "camping trip" over with. Of course the munchkin didn't sleep well either so we opted to get up, walk up to the restroom, and then come back and start packing up our "camp", which of course required me waiting for someone to help take down the tiny tent too! Then we sent the kids and the other moms upstairs to breakfast while the dads and I took all of our stuff out to our cars. Yes, I play both roles...mom & dad! I hobbled back to the stadium wishing I could just stay out at the car and the munchkin would come out when he was done eating, because I was going to have to walk up 4 flights of stairs with my sore back, sweat drenched clothes, and exhausted butt dragging to go and eat cold scrambled eggs, cold frozen pancakes, cold frozen hashbrowns, sausage links and bacon.
After coming home, laying down for about 2 hours, and taking motrin and while I sit here considering taking some of my pain pills from 2 months ago when I royally screwed up my back I am here to confess...I hate camping! I am damn old and no longer ashamed to admit it!
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