Welcome to My World!!

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From A Small Town, In The Midwest, United States
My favorite quote...We all live in hiding. In one way or another each of us conceal pieces of ourselves from the rest of the world. Some people hide because their lives depend on it. Others because they don't like being seen. And then there are those special cases, the ones who hide because they just want someone to care enough to look for them...Which one are you?

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Deep Movies

I have a coupon from DirectTV for a free movie if I "buy" two. Of course it expired today, so I had to get my last movie in before midnight. I settled on Brothers, which was fantastic! I cried, a lot, and came to realize that Jake G. is a hottie!!

This must be my month for deep movies because all three that go towards this coupon have been deep and sad. First it was Precious, then it was The Blind Side earlier this week and tonight, Brothers.

Hmmm...am I picking movies because I need a good cry or am I picking movies that reflect my mood of late? You be the judge!

I do recommend all three of these picks, but you may want to have a tissue handy, or if you are like me...just bring the whole damn box out!

Consider it done: 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 38, 29
Just getting started: 1, 2, 18, 35
Needs attention: 16, 17, 25, 26, 40

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Where Did All Those Wrappers In My Garbage Come From?

You would think with a surprising weight loss this week I would have been able to keep it together, but I fell off the wagon tonight. Apparently I was on a one-woman's mission to eat our entire vending machine stock tonight! I haven't purchased anything out of our vending machine in months. Seriously I cannot remember the last time I succumbed to the pull of ourvending machine. After scarfing down a bag of BBQ chips, 2 packages of peanut M&M's, and a Snicker's bar I felt horrible! Not just about the fact that I consumed more crappy food than 4 people should consume in a day, but physically I felt horrible.

What was I doing?!? Ugh! I couldn't stop myself. I'm not even sure if I chewed anything. I was just sitting there "working" (which means playing solitary), shoveling crap into my pudgy little mouth. What was I thinking?!? I wish I could answer these questions, but I can't. Maybe it was because I was tired. Maybe it was because I'm totally stressed. Maybe it was because I'm craving crap and my last two attempts to eat crap (a chips & salsa trip proved unsuccessful with my choice of tacos as they had no taste whatsoever; and our dinner out Saturday for yummy pizza failed with crappy tasting pizza) have failed. I think I'll make burritos tomorrow night, which won't be total crap but should be tasty. Maybe...maybe...maybe... I don't know why I did it. I just can't let it continue. I was successful to stay out of the drive-thru on the way home after class though, but boy oh boy I really wanted a whopper too!

Before I consume any more calories today I'm going to go to bed now. Plus I need to pull close to a couple of all nighters in the next two days. Wish me luck y'all!

Consider it done: 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 19, 20, 21, 22, 24, 31, 32, 33, 34, 36, 27, 28, 29
Just getting started: 1, 2, 3, 18, 27, 28, 35
Needs attention: 16, 17, 23, 25, 26, 29, 30, 40

Sunday, March 28, 2010

3rd Place~~Way To Go Baby!!

Yesterday we attended the munchkin's Pine Wood Derby (Cub Scouts!) and the munchkin did so great! Not only was he so well behaved that I was beyond impressed, he also took 3rd place!!!! Way to go Munchkin! I'm so proud of you baby!! :) Now we wait and he competes at Scout-A-Rama in May against the other packs! :) Oh yeah, and he gets his picture in the paper too!!

As for the rest of the folks at Pine Wood Derby, can we say "out-of-control"? Let me back up for a minute...the munchkin's pack is based out of his school, so the majority of kids attend the same school. There is something wrong at this new school we are attending...no body is on birth control!!! I'm telling you, I've never seen such large families. Yes, I'm serious. We feel out of place only having one child! I swear there is no family smaller than 3 kids! And we aren't talking like have one, wait a few years have another one. We are talking stepping stones! Like have one, 9 months another, and 9 months after that another and on and on up to the one in the oven being carried around! It is crazy. And this leads to major issues for me!

Personal issues aside (yes, I want more kids and hopefully in a few years my guy and I will have 1 or 2 more), my major issue is when you have 3-4 other children on top of the child involved in Cub Scouts you are still required to watch them! I know...sounds crazy, right?! I being serious though folks...you must watch all of your kids! Not just the one participating! Okay, as a single parent of one child I can understand giving a single parent of multiple kids a bit of a break, but that isn't what happened yesterday! It was kids with both parents in attendance that were not being watched. WTH?!? I'm sorry...I get out of control kids~~my son is usually one of them. But at least I have my eyes on him and am willing to "take him out" when necessary! So parents...either we need to learn about birth-control or keeping eyes on our kids or as my aunt, the nun, said~~both!!

As for my usual Sunday affair, I weighed in this morning and was pleasantly surprised. I don't know how it happened that I went down, especially since I tried to cheat myself yesterday and weighed in before I took off to the dealer to get an estimate for the damage to my car and it said that I gained like 3lbs! Okay...maybe not that much, more like 2.8lbs. The one good thing about the fact that I did that yesterday was that I didn't gorge myself on Chinese food like I was thinking of doing last night. And I can't say that today's results were changed as a result of what I did in the prior 24hours because I even had the same exact clothes on when I weighed both times since yesterday's late nap turned into a night's sleep when I didn't wake up until 6am today! Guess I really needed some sleep! But getting 13 hours of it on a Saturday night wasn't the plan! Opps!! So needless to say I anticipated at least a 3lb gain and was ecstatic when I actually got a 1.4lb loss!! Yay me!! All it did was help me refocus on my goal of getting below 300lbs a-sap!!

Without further ado, today's stats:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363.0lbs
Current weight (today): 317.6lbs
This weeks results: -1.4lbs
Total weight lost: 45.4lbs

Consider it done: 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 19, 20, 21, 22, 24, 31, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 38, 39
Just getting started: 1, 2, 3, 7, 15, 27, 28, 35
Needs attention: 16, 17, 18, 23, 25, 26, 29, 30, 40

Friday, March 26, 2010

Trying To Put It Back Together

The "it" is me. I am trying to put me back together. I've been on a downward spiral for some time now. I know it. I don't know if I didn't want to admit it or change it or what, but I've been in a rut. But the problem with being in a rut and not changing it is that it just keeps getting deeper.

However, yesterday...actually late last night/very early this morning...I don't know what happened but I started to feel that urge. You know, the urge that I have to pull myself out of this rut or else the consequences are going to be even worse than what I'm dealing with right now. Of course when this happens I start to wonder why I'm doing this. Is it just me? Is it something I'm doing? Why do I allow this to happen? Why can't I stop it before the spiraling begins?

I guess I'm just happy that I still have the ability to pull myself out before it gets too bad and try not to think if this part will ever change...

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Do all of my SADO homework
2. Do all of my E&T homework
3. Do all of my Trial Practice homework
4. Go & see my guy
5. Write out my shopping list
6. Go shopping
7. Do laundry
8. Pick up the house
9. Write out my bills
10. Balance my checkbook
11. Drop off the munchkin's script
12. Pick up both of our scripts
13. Get an oil change
14. Get an estimate on the damage to my car
15. Write my guy
16. Workout
17. Dig out more of my guy's paperwork and mail it
18. File this week & last week's papers
19. Catch up on my emails
20. Catch up on my TIVO
21. Pick out an outfit for me for Easter & for my Book Award's ceremony
22. Make my reservations for the Book Award's ceremony
23. Make reservations for after the Book Award's ceremony
24. Finish picking up supplies for the Easter Bunny
25. Send out the munchkin's first communion invitations
26. Continue preparing for all of the things we have coming up in the next several months
27. Research taking the MPRE this August
28. Research the Kaplan classes for the MPRE
29. Research the BarBri classes for the Bar
30. Call for my room for the bar next year
31. Verify the contents of the CDs I received from the pics developed a couple weeks ago
32. Attend the munchkin's Pine Wood Derby
33. Exchange my lancets
34. Begin working on my April Budget
35. Get organized
36. Refocus with WWs
37. Refocus for next week
38. Get me some serious sleep
39. Plan out my week (it is going to be a busy one!)
40. Get my shit together

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

3 Becomes 2

I had so many files to close on my desk at the start of this week that I had 3 piles. I am happy to report that I am down to 2 piles. Yay me!! I won't be getting any more files off my desk the rest of the week because I only have 4 hours to put in tomorrow and then I'm done till next week! Thank goodness!!

As for school...well, I just need to get through 2 more classes this week and a client interview, then the hard work really begins this week. So much to do, so little time to do it!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 13, 18, 21, 22, 24, 28, 29
Just getting started: 8, 15, 20, 26, 27
Needs attention: 7, 10, 14, 16, 17, 19, 23, 25, 30

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Come On Already!

I was definitely feeling better this morning when I got up, so off to work I went. I busted my tail all day too. I'm losing almost 2.5 days this week at work, so I need to pick up the pace while I am there. By early afternoon I had a killer headache, but I continued to push my way through, plus I had my writing conference scheduled for this afternoon and had class to attend tonight.

I arrived at my writing conference early, of course, only to feel like a complete and total worthless jack-ass, loser and failure all rolled into one within 15 minutes of arriving to Prof. Fergie's office and her informing me that my entire first issue was based on bad law. Opps! My bad! Nothing makes you feel like a failure then when your professor says, "This was bad. Very, very bad." No shit Sherlock Holmes! And trust me, there is no need to ask, "What would have happened if this was filed?" First of all, if this was totally real and I didn't have you to be my watch dog I would have done much more work on my first draft...isn't that why I'm still a student and you are not? And isn't that why it is a first draft? Yes, I know I should have done better, I know that I should have worked harder and obviously I should have performed better research. Duh! But guess what Prof. Fergie...you revealed to me that 2 of the other 4 students haven't turned in anything yet and we are like in week 12 (out of 15). At least I tried and failed instead of not tried at all! Don't I get credit for that?!

When I left my conference my headache was killer, but I still summoned my courage and went on to E&T for class. I really tried to put my gigantic failure behind me, but when we spent the last 15 minutes of class going over details of our final my now non-existant headache (amen for Motrin & Diet Coke) had emerged into nausea...

I knew this was going to be a doozy of a week, but come on already!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 13, 18, 21
Just getting started: 8, 15, 20, 24, 26, 28, 29
Needs attention: 7, 10, 14, 16, 17, 19, 22, 23, 25, 27, 30

Monday, March 22, 2010

Gearing Up For A Doozy Of A Week

So I took my nap yesterday for a little over 2 hours and felt tons better, but when I attempted to get up for work this morning I just didn't have it in me. I felt icky and blah, so I opted to call in and go back to bed. My guy called me a little before 8am and apparently all I did was repeat his sentences back to him! I later told him that at least he knows I was listening and paying attention. ;) After we finished our conversation I immediately rolled over and was back in la-la land.

Around noon I rolled out of bed, definitely feeling better, sickness wise, but definitely not motivation wise. Around 1pm I was starting to feel like I may get my motivation back and get something accomplished. This was quickly adjusted when the call came in that I needed to pick up the munchkin from school as he was running a fever, complaining that he felt like his eye-balls were on fire. So I pulled myself together as quickly as possible and went and picked him up. We immediately went into the pediatrician who said he was suffering from allergies and nothing more. Thank goodness he doesn't have a sinus infection or upper-respiratory thing.

Of course this unexpected trip around town didn't help out my motivation today. I think I logged a couple hours playing solitary on my cell, watched a few hours of TV, and made sure that my love-seat cushion never felt lonely. Needless to say...this week is gonna be a doozy.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 13, 21
Just getting started: 8, 15, 20, 24, 26, 28, 29
Needs attention: 7, 10, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 25, 27, 30

Sunday, March 21, 2010

...Or My Weekend

Today's stats are:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363.0lbs
Current weight (today): 319.0lbs
This weeks results: -1.6lbs
Total weight lost: 44lbs

The above and the fact that I got to see my guy this morning is the good news of the day. Now for the bad news...I woke up feeling like crap today! :( I put it out of my mind while I got ready and hit the road at 8am to go see my honey. I even put it out of my mind while we had our visit, but once I got in the car to make my trek back home I could no longer ignore it. So, I drove straight to Urgent Care and picked up drugs...sinus infection, upper respiratory infection.
Doesn't it just figure. Between being sick and my March Madness bracket tanking with each game played (thanks Kansas, Gonzaga, Villanova and Georgia Tech!), my excitement from seeing my guy and breaking out of my mental block is stunted. Add that on top of my lack of motivation, as you can see below, is severely suffering.

I think there is only one thing left to do...take a nap...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 13, 21
Just getting started: 8, 15, 20, 24, 26, 28, 29
Needs attention: 7, 10, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 25, 27, 30

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Just Not My Day

This actually started yesterday. I kicked ass at work, couldn't wait to get on the road to go and see my man, and after fighting horrible traffic for over an hour my smile turned into a pissed off face in a heart-beat when I was denied my visit with my guy. I so did not need the drama!

They wouldn't let me in because of "designer holes" in my jeans. It violates their policy of "clothes that are in good repair." Okay...I dig your standard MDOC; however, what I find a bit odd is the fact that this has been the policy ever since I've been going to one of your facilities since May 2008 and these same jeans I've worn on several occasions to 3 different facilities with no problem. For Christ's Sake I wore the same fucking jeans 6 days prior with no problem.

I demanded to see the Shift Commander. After 2 hours of waiting, she finally graces me with her presence. I found this uber convenient since if she had approved my visit it would have been too late to allow me in, because you are denied entry should there only be 30 minutes left to visit. Nice, huh?

Don't worry Ms. Shift Commander, I know how your world operates. I think you thought I would go away when you told Ms. Front Desk CO that you couldn't see me right away. But sorry, it had became a matter of principle at that point. I didn't care if I had to stand there all frickin' night...you were going to come out and see me. I also didn't care when you told Ms. Front Desk CO to tell me you still weren't going to approve my visit. Maybe not, but you sure as shit were going to have to come out and meet me. I also suspect that you thought you were going to come out and find some 'floozy waitin' to see her man.' But you didn't, did you?! My God, some of the people within your custody do have loved ones with an education who know how to speak in complete sentences and know how to conjugate their verbs...how about that ma'am. You also didn't even know how to act when I required an introduction after introducing myself, did you?! Hmmm...surprising, isn't it...like I said, 'Don't worry Ms. Shift Commander, I know how your world operates.' And since that world operates on my voting back and under my tax paying dimes, I know how your world operates and a tax-paying voter with nothing but a macbook and a brain can enter your world through letters. Like I promised you last night, my letters are in the mail to the necessary people. You too have a good day, Ms. Shift Commander!

Of course after I drove another hour plus home, I had no desire to go grocery shopping nor any desire to do anything else for that matter. I was in the bed by 12:30am, but back up again at 4:00am running to the restroom like a crazy woman. I was in such pain and misery. I just wanted to cry at some point during the night...I don't know if it was all of my anger and frustration from earlier in the night acting up or what, because it certainly wasn't anything I ate. :( I am hopeful that maybe this middle of the night bathroom visit will push me past my mental block that I've been holding on to for so long now. (Keep your fingers crossed for tomorrow for me y'all!)

I've felt blah all day today and can't seem to get much done, but I'm trying. Of course the fact that I will be making another trip up tomorrow morning into the bowels of hell just grinds my ass, because it shouldn't have came to this! Jerks!!

Consider it done: 1, 3, 6, 9*, 13, 21
Just getting started: 2, 5, 8, 24, 28, 29
Needs attention: 4, 7, 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 29, 20, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 30

*~~Did you even notice that there wasn't a #9 on my list of things to do? I sure didn't until just now. LOL

Friday, March 19, 2010

Starting To Feel The Pressure From All Sides

I am definitely feeling the pressure. It is coming from all over. It is coming from school, work, home...

Yesterday I had to give a closing argument in Trial Practice. I prepared nothing! I was hopeful that I would have time before class to get something together and it just didn't happen. So I did the only thing I could...I made quick notes of facts on my paper and went up when I had to. I received no feedback after I finished, so I sat down and wondered how I did. I spent the next 2.5 hours wondering. It wasn't until we were all walking out of class did I finally receive my feedback, "j'lynn very well done." Well, thank you Prof. Arrogance! ;)

I then hauled my exhausted ass on to E&T. I was unprepared. My contacts were so blurry from sleeping in them the night before that I felt like I was drunk. I was starving. I crazily only counted one case in our reading material and when someone told me 10 minutes before class that there were a total of 4 cases I knew things weren't going to go well for me in class. As we got ready to move on to the last case, I finished quickly scanning it (just in case), took a bite of apple with peanut butter and blinked at my contacts. After about 5 people being called on, one person confessing he wasn't prepared and the other 4 not responding because they were absent, my name was called. Of course!! I had a mouth full of apple and peanut butter, go figure. I muddled and mumbled my way through and 3 minutes later class was over fifty minutes early!

I survived another Thursday at school and came home. Once I was home I started to feel the pressure of all of the school work I need to accomplish in the next week. :( I think even if I did homework for 48 hours straight I couldn't get it all done.

I usually haul a bunch of homework with me to work in the hopes that time will stop while I'm there and I can do some homework! Ha! Yes, I am delusional!

Thursdays I leave work at 1pm, so I always try and check my work email to see what I missed and what I'm headed into come Friday morning. When I opened my email and saw that I had a ton of "rush" work added to my current work, which is stacked in 3-18 inch high piles I decided to pull everything out of my work bag for today. I desperately need to get things at work under control in the next week!! It is no longer an option...it is a requirement for me!

Of course all of this was on top of getting ready to walk out the door yesterday morning, late of course, and receiving an email from my son's teacher telling me we have to meet next week. Mind you, there is already a standard second parent/teacher conference set for us at 6:15pm Monday, March 29, 2010. Apparently my munchkin is being accused of punching another little boy in the privates during recess. My munchkin maintains his innocence. I was so upset with the whole thought of having to deal with this I left the house upset and didn't tell the munchkin that I love him. Then I felt horrible!! It took 5 phone calls to the house and to my mom's cell to get him on the phone to tell him I loved him and to have a great day! I felt a little better, but was still upset. After three emails back and forth and the fact that the only time I could meet with his teacher was next Friday morning at 7am (next week is crazy busy for me!) she agreed to keep our currently scheduled meeting the following Monday evening...

Oh yeah...and my guy called twice and both times he was down and wasn't having a good day. :( Weren't we all having a bad day? Where is the moon and Jupiter yesterday, because the totality of the circumstances lead me to believe they were out of whack!

Do I even need to say it? TGIF y'all!!

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Bust my ass at work for 8 full hours!
2. Go and see my guy
3. Write out my shopping list
4. Go shopping
5. Do laundry
6. Pick up the house
7. Do all of my E&T homework
8. Do all of my SADO homework
10. Do all of my Trial Practice homework
11. Write out my bills
12. Balance my checkbook
13. Get my hair cut
14. Workout
15. Write my guy
16. Dig out more paperwork that my guy needs and mail it
17. File this week's papers
18. Catch up on my emails
19. Send out the munchkin's first communion invitations
20. Get ready for Easter
21. Take down the St. Patrick's Day decorations
22. Put up Easter decorations
23. Continue preparing for all of the things we have coming up in the next several months.
24. Catch up on my TIVO
25. Get organized
26. Refocus to tighten my belt with regards to following WWs
27. Refocus for next week
28. Get me some serious sleep (I am so exhausted this week my whole body is achy!)
29. Plan out my week
30. Get my shit together

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

I wish I was drinking Green Beer at one of our many local Irish Pubs in or around the city! I am unsure if this is the wee-bit of Irish in my blood speaking or if it is because by 10:00am I was annoyed enough at people at work that I wanted to shuttle my arse to the closest pub around!

Have a pleasant St. Patrick's Day! Enjoy, have fun, but be safe too!!

PS: Don't forget to give the Irish in your life a kiss today to keep them Irish Eyes a Smiling! :)

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24, 25, 27, 28, 29, 30
Just getting started: 8, 9, 10
Needs attention: 15, 21, 26

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

In a crazy good mood 4 no reason!

That was my BBM status today!

I don't know why, but all day I seemed to be in a crazy good mood. There really is no reason for me to be in a good mood. Maybe it was the sunshine. Maybe it was the warmer temps. Maybe it was the crazy dream I had last night. Maybe it was the wonderful conversations I shared with my honey twice today! :) Maybe it is the fact that I'm having dinner with my LSBFF tomorrow night! Maybe it was nothing!

But as I told MyMormonGirl, "I am...and I shouldn't b! Oh well! Ill enjoy it while it lasts!"

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 24*, 27**, 28***, 29, 30
Just getting started: 8, 9, 10, 25****
Needs attention: 15, 21, 26

*~~Okay, so I'm hoping the 3rd pty vendor that I had to report my "claim" to that couldn't match me up with just my membership number and not my policy number just throws the stuff out. For some stupid reason when I hung from her to go out in search of my "policy number" I decided to call a couple of places to get a price range. Um...yeah, so one shop was like $376 and the other one was like $265. Since my deductible is $500 I'm so going to pay out of pocket for this "replacement" windshield. Please oh please no-fault gods...don't link this up!! :)
**~~I'm doing pretty good so far this week, but it is only Tuesday! I'm hopeful I can bring home a winning weigh in on Sunday!!
***~~I'm as focused as I'm going to get...I'm moving painstakingly slow, but hey...I'm moving!
****~~Alright, we are moving along on this...slowly, but we will see if my follow up email worked today!

Monday, March 15, 2010

A Little Organizing Going On From Time To Time

In the last couple of months, I've continued what I started here. In an effort to clean out and organize a few areas in my life and home I organized and cleaned out two more areas. My panties drawer and under the master bath sink. Both of these areas came to my attention by way of chance.

Several weeks ago while doing laundry and putting my clothes away I came to discover that I couldn't stick any more underwear in my drawer! Crazy, isn't it?! When I did my bi-annual shopping trip last October, I picked up some new panties. Not only because it was fun, but because I was in serious need of smaller ones! (Yay! If only I could say I could use smaller ones again would I be super happy!) I opted to purchase them a couple sizes smaller than the pants I bought, but I failed to throw out any of my old ones at that time. So when I couldn't fit all of them in the drawer, I decided it was time to throw some underwear out! I ended up throwing out 29 pairs of underwear! Yes, I said that correctly~~29!!! I left myself 13 pairs. Who the heck needs 42 pairs of underwear at one time??? Needless to say, I definitely needed to clean this drawer out. It was like its own little country or fire hazard!

Next came a few weeks later when looking for something in the bathroom. One minute I'm looking for something, the next minute my mom is ridiculing me for having hair dye that is older than my munchkin (he'll be 8 in June!) under my sink! Before I knew it, I was cleaning out and reorganizing the area under my master bath sink! Six boxes of hair dye were tossed out and eight cosmetic bags were removed and relocated to be used for future gifts. Apparently every time my makeup brand has a sale that includes that "free" bag with little goodies in it I am in need of makeup and am a sucker and get that "free" bag for $29.95!

Can anyone guess what the chicks in my family are getting for Christmas this year?! LOL

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, 29, 30
Just getting started: 8, 25, 27, 28
Needs attention: 9, 10, 15, 21, 24, 26*

*~~Obviously this is not the organizing I need to do to stop feeling all out of sorts lately! Go figure!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Today On The Losing Side Of One Of My Battles

I am so frustrated with myself! Ugh! I made a few mistakes this week in my diet and I payed the price. Now I am even further away from my mini-goal. I'm disappointed with myself and frustrated beyond belief.

I gained .6lbs. WTF?!?

I ate cookies that I shouldn't have this week (stupid work!) and I ate out more than I anticipated (stupid work! stupid life!) and mother nature knocked at the end of the week and is still beating down my door today (stupid mother nature!) and the list of excuses could go on and on... But I really have no one to blame other than myself!

The reality is I need to work harder. The other reality is...this mental block is tougher than I originally thought.

It didn't help that both times I got on the scale this morning the first number that popped up was a 4lb loss (I was so utterly excited) and then it immediately went to a .6lb gain (I was so utterly disgusted & disappointed). Ugh!

Today's stats are:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363.0lbs
Current weight (today): 320.6lbs
This weeks results: +.6lbs
Total weight lost: 42.4lbs

So I must do better this week. Mind over matter, right?

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 16, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, 29, 30
Just getting started: 5, 20, 25, 27, 28
Needs attention: 8, 9, 10, 14, 15, 21, 24, 26

Friday, March 12, 2010

Better Late Than Never!

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Leave work early
2. Take the munchkin to the dentist for a filling
3. Write out my shopping list
4. Go shopping
5. Do laundry
6. Pick up the house
7. Go & see my guy
8. Do all of my E&T homework
9. Do all of my SADO homework
10. Do all of my Trial Practice homework
11. Write out my bills
12. Balance my checkbook
13. Go through all of the pics I picked up last week
14. Workout
15. Write my guy
16. Dig out some paperwork that my guy needs & mail it
17. File this week's papers
18. Catch up on my emails
19. Catch up on my TIVO
20. Register for summer classes
21. Send out the munchkin's first communion invitations
22. Catch up on reading all of my blogs
23. Catch up on responding to my commenters! :)
24. File my glass claim
25. Straighten out a mistake on my new insurance papers
26. Get organized...I'm feeling all out of sorts lately.
27. Remain focused with WWs
28. Remain focused for next week
29. Get me some serious sleep
30. Plan out my week

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Exhaustion Has Taken Over

I'm beyond exhausted this week. It has been one hell of a week and I had a bit of disappointment today when I thought I kicked butt on my opening statement in Trial Practice and after class Prof. Arrogance told me he was disappointed in my opening statement and expected more from me. :(

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28
Needs attention: 18*

*~~sorry baby, apparently you were the only thing I couldn't get to this week, but on the other hand look at how I rocked it this week.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Today Brought a Few Bonuses

After going to bed after 2:00am last night, I overslept just a little this morning (like you didn't see that coming!) but woke up in the best mood ever. I don't know why. I felt like I was on speed the majority of the day! I jut wanted to get things accomplished. I rushed around, got ready and got into work (late, but whatever!). Then I was like a mad woman. I got so much stuff done, I amazed even myself! I cleaned up all of my outstanding voice mails, outstanding emails, and over due items on my calendar. I created three new files and closed out ten old files.

I was so impressed with myself that after I enjoyed the beautiful weather outside for fifteen minutes I invited my co-worker to do lunch at my favorite chips & salsa place! It was crazy yummy today too! I wasn't nearly as productive when we returned about 2:30pm, but I still got things done! Yay me! I even worked over by an hour to go towards Friday when I have to leave early to take the munchkin to the dentist and after that I forced myself to go to the gym.

After reading an article this weekend I decided to change up my workout a bit. I did 10 minutes on the treadmill (because it was already after 8pm) and then went on to the upper body machines. I increased my weights and decreased my reps. I'm already sore, but I'm hoping that it does what the article says that it will! Then I went back to the treadmill for another 10 minutes. After the gym I ran to the bank to deposit my bonus check! Oh, did I forget to mention that we received our bonuses today?!? That couldn't be the reason I was so geeked up today, could it? Nah.... ;)

Now it is time for bed again and of course it is much later than I hoped, but I am hopeful that tomorrow I will be equally energetic because I have lots of work stuff and school stuff to get done too. I'm also hopeful that I get up a little earlier in the morning, because I'll actually have to wash my hair tomorrow...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28
Just getting started: 8, 9
Needs attention: 18

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Nothing Like A Lil' Spaghetti Sauce In Your Eye

After attending the munchkin's commitment mass and potluck this morning I headed over to the Hallmark store. I found much cheaper invitations and even found the thank you notes I wanted. In addition, I found the Precious Moments: Do this in Memory of Me-Boy figurine (http://www.preciousmoments.com/content.cfm/product/Do-This-In-Memory-Of-M-Boy). I was happy that it matched the thank you notes I bought! But I couldn't find matching invitations, so I picked a different invitation and called it good enough! From there I went to Wal-Green's to submit all of our pics to be developed. After looking over the 300+ pictures on mine and my aunt's memory cards, I headed to Wendy's for my large diet coke and booked it on home.

Knowing I'm running behind on time this weekend I tossed in a load of laundry, responded to a couple of emails and decided to throw dinner on the stove. While starting to fry up the two pounds of hamburger and getting the water over to boil our noodles, I started pouring my two jars of spaghetti sauce into a pan. That's when it hit me...a big ol' blob of spaghetti sauce splashed out of the pan and splashed right into my eye. Seriously?!? Wasn't trying to start myself on fire, being critiqued by a homeless man on my dirty car, doing homework for hours on end this week, and trying to cut off the tip of my middle finger while making breakfast yesterday enough?!? Seriously?!? We had to toss spaghetti sauce in my eye too?!? Come on already!!

Hoping I was done with the crazy mishaps, I finished getting everything together on the stove for dinner, so I began wiping down what I could on the stove before I left the water to come to a boil and the sauce simmering. Let me interject here for a moment and tell you I have a gas stove, which has black grates on it. In my ever wise attempt to wipe up the left side of the stove where I just finished frying the hamburger up I proceeded to grab the grate and lift it up to wipe underneath. Did I spill something? No. Instead I tried to brand the grate print into my finger and thumb, because apparently my mind forgot that those are metal and even though the flame is no longer on the metal retains the heat from the gas flame. I quit! I will say it, I'm yelling from the rooftops, "UNCLE!!!" I need no more crazy mishaps!

In other news around town, Wal-Green's called and apparently my 716 prints over taxed their machine as it went down. They've called a tech out, but my prints won't be ready until tomorrow night. Fine by me! :) I hadn't intended to go and pick them up today anyways. Also, I bit the bullet and weighed in this morning right after I showered and got dressed. I'm on the cusp of making my goal. I weighed in at exactly 320lbs. No .2 no nothing...320.0lbs exact. So, as God is my witness, I will bust out of this mental block by next week's weigh-in. So my stats for now are:

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363.0lbs
Current weight (today): 320.0lbs
Total weight lost: 43.0lbs

Not bad...could be, should be better, but it is what it is and I'm happy with that! I didn't make my goal, but whatev... I still lost 1lb this week and that is better than good!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13, 16, 19, 20, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 28
Just getting started: 5, 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 21, 24
Needs attention: 17, 18

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Just Another Saturday

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 20, 23*, 25**, 26, 27, 28
Just getting started: 5, 7, 8, 9, 21***, 22****
Needs attention: 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 24

*~~I'm very nervous about tomorrow's weigh-in and making my goal. Since Thursday's dinner I have ate fast food. WTF?!? Thursday night was taco bell, Friday morning was McDonald's, Friday lunch was the greasy spoon in our building, Friday night was McDonald's again...ugh. Nothing like a little nervousness to get you motivated again!!
**~~I love NyQuil! That is the best sleep ever! I'm not sure if I've got the starting of a sinus infection but I wasn't feeling on top last night, so at 1:30am I opted to take a shot of NyQuil. Seven hours later I woke up to use the ladies room and then slept for an additional 3 hours after that. I still don't feel 100%, but I did feel better than I did last night and definitely more rested!!
***~~Hours and hours and hours I've spent looking on-line for ideas, scouring blogs and websites for recipes that would pop something different and final into my head. Thus far I've came down to this as a menu: ham, sloppy joes, hashbrown bake, deviled eggs, salad, rolls & butter. Of course there will be a cake too. I just feel like there is something missing or off about this list so far. Any advice, suggestions, ideas, or critiques would be deeply appreciated!
****~~After looking at the prices places want for invitations, I've pretty well decided we will likely make our own. Of course that is more work...go figure. My last option is to run by Hallmark's in the next day or so and see what they have to offer. This is turning into way more work than I anticipated.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Fridays Never Come Around Soon Enough Anymore!

OMG...just looking at the details of what I need to do in order to accomplish numbers 7, 8, & 9 brings tears to my eyes! I was hoping to get a jump start on my list last night, but I was just too exhausted to do a single thing other than eat and sit.

The bright spot other than the fact that it is Friday is that it is suppose to be close to 50 this whole weekend! Yippie!!

My Friday To-Do List:
1. Get my house cleaned
2. Go & see my guy
3. Write out my shopping list
4. Go shopping
5. Do laundry
6. Pick up the house
7. Do all of my E&T homework
8. Do all of my Trial Practice homework
9. Do all of my SADO homework
10. Write out my bills
11. Balance my checkbook
12. Get waxed
13. Get my facial
14. Get my pics developed
15. Get my aunt's pics developed
16. Attend the munchkin's commitment mass & potluck
17. Workout
18. Write my guy
19. File this week's papers
20. Catch up on my emails
21. Figure out a menu for the munchkin's first communion party
22. Look for invitations for the munchkin's first communion party
23. Remain focused with WWs
24. Remain focused for next week
25. Get me some serious sleep
26. Plan out my week
27. Get my car washed (obviously a must due to yesterday's incident!)
28. Start shopping for Easter (OMG, it is so close! Yikes!!)

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Surviving More Than One Critique Today

This week has been exhausting. All I can think about is sleeping in Saturday morning! I feel like all I've done this week is homework, but I am happy to report that before classes started today I had completed all of my homework for the week! I'm pretty sure that this is the first time all semester I've accomplished this task! However, this has been exhausting, to say the least.

I had a headache that started this morning and didn't really go away until I finally thought about taking some Motrin. Of course this didn't happen until almost 5pm. I know, I know...so smart of me, huh?!?

I started my day at work irritated already for really no particular reason. Of course within just a couple hours I had several reasons to be even more irritated. We are finally starting to lose some of our files. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm partially upset that it is happening and what this could really mean for me. I'm also partially glad it is finally happening. I've been tired of the state of flux, that is for sure. Of course the fit will hit the shan for me and the two other gals in my position in my department. Ugh... Needless to say I will have no choice to bust my butt for the next several weeks! I'm up for the challenge, I hope...

Then onto class I fly, but not until I hit the parking snag. There were 7 cars waiting to get in the lot, so I drove around the block and parked on the street. So in addition to the $340 I pay for the school's parking lot I got to fork over $4.50 to park on the street today. Thank God I carry a pouch with me to stick quarters in through out the week for my Friday nights with my guy! Of course while I was getting myself together on the side walk and digging quarters out to feed the meter I almost ran into a homeless man. I was walking backwards onto the sidewalk while grabbing all of my stuff. The following conversation ensued:

j'lynn: Oh my, I am so sorry sir. (I was a good 3 feet from him, but still wanted to apologize because #1 I didn't see him, #2 if I wouldn't have noticed him when I did I would have knocked him down with my bag and/or my butt!)
HG: I'm okay.
j'lynn: Good. Again, my apologies.
HG: Honey, please do not apologize for almost walking into me. It happens.
j'lynn: Thank you.
HG: But please get that car washed! That you should apologize for.
j'lynn: Since it is suppose to be beautiful this weekend I had hoped to get it washed.
HG: Yes, it should be close to 50 this weekend. You really need to get your car washed.
j'lynn: (while feeding my quarters into the meter) I hope to, because I know I really need to.
HG: (while walking down the sidewalk away from me) What I really need is to find some work.

At this moment I decided to stop responding, because there isn't really much to say at that point. Plus I was just coming to realize that I was just admonished by a homeless man about the level of dirtiness of my car... Gosh, I didn't even think it was that bad!

I made it through another Trial Practice today and actually was proud of myself. My critiques from Prof Arrogance were all positive today! Yay me! I was nervous as hell, but so was everyone else. Each week I feel stronger and more confident! It makes me very excited about my future career in litigation! Then on to E&T I went!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22
Just getting started: 12, 13
Needs attention: 14, 15

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Up In Flames

In the past 48 hours I've gotten very little sleep. It isn't the smallest amount I've ever received, but it is still very little. Monday night I started working on the first issue in my brief, which is due today at 5pm, sometime after midnight. So does that technically make it Tuesday that I started on this piece of homework?!? It really doesn't matter! I crawled into bed that night/morning around 4am. I set my alarm for 9am, but my man was nice enough to call and wake me up at 8:50am Tuesday morning! I love it when he does that! It is such a nicer way to wake up than to an alarm clock! After our call ended, I hit the books!! Okay...maybe the interenet first but by 10:30am I was well under way with homework. I called it quits last night a little after 2am. I saved and printed what I'm going to turn in before 5pm this afternoon. I'll fix whatever mistakes next weekend when I tackle the rest of my issues!

Needless to say, even with a wake up call from my mother this morning~~I've gotten really good at faking 'no, I'm up!'~~I over slept. I'm rocking the dirty hair pony tail and hit the road after throwing everything in my numerous bags. Almost to work, cruising at approximately 82mph, looking for good tunes on my non-satellite radio (sorry, but the budget just doesn't allow me to pay for something I can get for free!), it happens...I burst into flames! Okay...maybe there was no 'bursting' and maybe no 'flames' either, but my frickin' arm felt like it was on fire!! Of course this would be my arm inside my winter coat, which is of course zipped up! The more I shook my arm, the further the burning sensation went up my arm. I don't know if the pain was worse than the fear of literally going up in flames, but without losing speed and looking like a total spaz I quickly unzipped my coat enough to pull my arm out of my coat. The process of the actual burning had ceased, but the pain remained...over an hour later it is still stinging.

Of course my first concern was that I was going to literally go up in flames, but once that subsided and I assured myself, which included some begging to God, that the actual "fire" was out I had to wait to get to work to inspect the full damages incurred. I'm very happy to report that my self-inflicted injuries appear to be very minor, but very painful. Some red skin, but no big blisters or anything like that and no read damage to my shirt or my coat, but I do suspect the pain will remain for some time.

Having survived my own stupidity (yes, I was flicking a butt out the window when this happened and thank God that it wasn't the butt that ended up in my coat sleeve) this morning I wanted to immediatly go back to bed. Once I was at work with some spray on my burn, and trying to get things together I picked up my purse only to realize that I had a pen in my hand without the cap on and just wrote with blue ink on my lime green top. Seriously?!? Wasn't the bright red mark on my arm enough to draw people's attention today. Come on people!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22
Just getting started: 6, 12, 13
Needs attention: 14, 15

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

A Big Step

Today I finally did it! Well, okay...thus far my progress has been getting the info (thank you Dani for lending me your "man"), making the call and leaving a message. I'm on the move to switch insurance companies!!

I've been with my current insurance company for years and they just happen to have employed me in one way or another since September 2003 (minus that 11 month hiatus from July 2006 to June 2007, which included my 9 months in hell or what I would like to think of as the closest I'll come to serving time in prison!!). However, my decision to move away from them started back here and continued here and was reconfirmed when I received my renewal for both my home and my auto in the last week and they both did what boss man said they would~~went up! So sorry dear insurance company, no raises this year, no promise (not even a fake blowing-smoke-up-my-ass one) of a raise next year and increased premiums equals j'lynn shopping for a new insurance company!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22
Just getting started: 6, 7, 12, 13
Needs attention: 14, 15

Monday, March 1, 2010

March Brings Sunshine...So Close Yet So Far Away

Today we were treated to lots of sunshine and weather in the 40's! It was lovely. Of course in this area we all know too well that winter isn't over and I do fear that today was just another tease. But I'll take it regardless.

After working today I joined my aunt and uncle for a free dinner at their neighborhood French Italian Bistro. Of course it entailed sitting through a two-hour presentation on Fire Safety. Boring you say? Actually it was quite nice and very informative. More importantly it was free!! And better yet, it was what I order every time I go there...Chicken Parmigiana! Yum Yum Yum

Of course we didn't get out of there until after 8:30pm, which meant no workout for me! I don't know if I will get one in this week as I have a very busy week ahead of me. This, of course, is my own fault. Last week was Spring Break and I had this master plan of all of the things I would get accomplished during my time off from class. And that plan, I failed!

I scheduled tomorrow off from work so I can write my appellate brief for SADO, which is due by 5pm Wednesday. Since this will likely take the entire day and then some, I will be skipping E&T tomorrow night as well. And since Prof Arrogance refused to give us Thursday's assignment until last night, I now have that to do too. If not for that I would have my Trial Practice homework done. Ugh! I'm 12 pages away from completing my E&T homework too. So close, yet so far away from being on top of this...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 21, 22
Just getting started: 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, 19, 20
Needs attention: 14, 15