Trying To Heal By Venting & Getting My Space Back

Okay...this is a long ass post and this is all about me and an issue that I just can't get past. I felt like I needed to vent, get it off my chest in order to move on. Yes, by the time you finish reading this post you may call me a judgmental bitch, because that doesn't both me at all. I know I'm a judgmental bitch...I own it and I'm okay with it. If you opt to skip this after a paragraph or so...I'm okay with that too, because this one is for me more than you. So here goes...

I have never held it secret or even quiet that I have major issues with some of my family members, especially my bro and his wife. There has been a long brewing battle with them, especially her. We do not fight even though I have thought of it and sometimes dreamt of it. I know that I'm allowing them to take up too much space in my head, my heart, and more importantly in my soul, so this post is my way of venting and letting it all go. I also know that some of my issue is jealousy, which is crazy, but it is what it is and I'm woman enough to admit it, because in all honesty some of this should be happening for me and it just hasn't happened yet. I know it will happen all in good time, but some of this crap just doesn't help.

Let me give you some background here. My bro and I have never been uber close. There are 8 years between us and light years between our mentalities. I know some of this is because of the way we grew up. My bro is my dad's son. My dad is not really my dad. Before my mom meet the man who would become my dad she had me. I was never given an opportunity to know my real father. My mom didn't even tell my father she was pregnant or that I existed until I was 18 months old. You see my mom was the "other woman" and my father had a wife and five sons from his marriage. I think my mom held long seeded hatred for my father, because when she finally told him that I existed she told him that if one day I showed up on his doorstep to spit in his face and spew my hatred at him she would back me. Um, I'm not sure why I would stand on this man's doorstep and spit in his face or spew hatred at him...it was never his fault as to why he wasn't in my life. That was my mother's choice and neither he nor I had a choice in the matter and we had to live with her choice.

It was always clear while I was growing up that my mother had convinced herself that my dad was my "real" dad. It was also made clear in my mind that my family didn't include me. Things were only done as a family when I wasn't home and it was just the three of them, my mom, my dad, & my bro. It wasn't all sunshine for my bro either, because my mom and dad are very selfish people. They always put the two of them above everything and everyone else, including my bro & I. The next step on the food chain was if the occasion called for a family was my mom, dad and my bro. I was lucky though because I had my Nana & Papa and I always retreated to them. They were my rock and they are who helped make me who I am today.

Once we were grownups and I was married and had my munchkin & my step-munchkin my bro married my x-sil and had a family, 2 beautiful boys. After their second son was born their marriage came to an end. This was sad, because I loved my x-sil and those 2 boys. The year was 2007. On Feb. 16th my bro filed for divorce and moved back in with my parents. I supported him the best I could and even paid for his divorce. It wasn't an angry divorce and didn't turn bad until the end of February, early March, when my bro moved in with a girl before his wife was even served with the divorce papers.

The new girl was kept pretty secretive from the whole family. She always has been. I'm not sure why. No one had ever met her and all that people knew was that she had a son that was born 22 days after my bro's second son. The first time I met this new girl was in April 2007. They drove up to get me after my going away party when I left my job in hell. I was too drunk to drive home so they came up to get me and bring me and my car home. I was told I wasn't allowed to look at her...she drove her car back and my bro drove me and my car back. I paid to fill up her gas tank before they dropped me and my car at home and I was reminded at the gas station and then when I got home that I wasn't allowed to look at her. I was like...whatever! I was drunk and I didn't care. At some point I suspected that the new girl was pregnant and confronted my mom over it. She confirmed that I was right and that the baby was due in mid-December. Um, hello...I can count too and according to my calculations you conceived mid-late March. Within 6 weeks of his filing for divorce.

Christmas time arrived that year and I received a Christmas card from the new girl, my bro, her 1 year old and "new baby" who wasn't even here yet. It was sent from them as Mr. & Mrs. This I found beyond tacky since he still wasn't divorced. I was still in shock that a single mom would move my bro into her home with her less than 6 month old son when she allegedly didn't know him prior to his filing for divorce. (Read: I've never bought the story and suspect that her son may actually be my bro's kid & they were having an affair as my x-sil suspected.) I mean hello...you don't know him. He could have been a child molester. If you want to be an idiot when it's just you fine, but you have a child and you should be more responsible. My bro finally told me the night his 3rd (or 4th depending on who you believe) son was born that they were expecting. Now that takes class, doesn't it?

The second time I met the new girl was at my mom's on Christmas Eve. Baby #3 was 3 or 4 days old (I debate the DOB, but that is just me because I remember him calling me on the 20th and everyone else says it was the 21st...whatever, neither here nor there). This was the same night that my x-sil allowed my mom to have the 2 boys to spend Christmas Eve with the family. There was a lot of hatred on my part that night, because the new girl came and picked up my oldest nephew and took him to their house before celebrating at my mom's. They didn't take my other nephew to as they said "celebrate Christmas as a family." I was beyond livid!! You don't get to pick and choose which of your other children you are going to include in your "new family." Needless to say when they returned to the house, the five of them, and I was holding my pocket baby (nephew #2) I said nothing to her. I didn't even look at baby #3. They left within a couple hours but not before treating my two nephews like crap.

That January my mother had to have surgery on the shoulder she broke at my house over the prior summer. I was doing her grocery shopping when I ran into the 3 of them (her son was in daycare) and while my bro and I stood there chatting the new girl stood there with her hand up next to her eyes blocking her from seeing me and her face turned away from me. (Read: she thinks she is still in high school.) Yes, this was the 3rd time I meet her in the 11 months since they were together.

No one in the family knew they were getting married until my family was at a family wedding and the grandmother of the bride, my mom's 2nd cousin, congratulated my bro to my mom and when my mom asked what she was talking about she told my mom that his wedding license was in the paper the day before. Nice way for your mom to find out that you are getting married. So him and the new girl got married at the courthouse some day in the midst of the drama with my two nephews. So my bro terminated his rights to my 2 nephews and married wife #2 with two new kids.

Fast forward to the email I received last spring of the new girl in a wedding dress asking me what I thought of her dress. This lead to a conversation of my confusion since they were already married and her telling me that they were having a real wedding (read: fake) and the reasons weren't satisfactory in my book. They weren't doing it because they loved one another and wanted to share that love with their friends and family...no, they were doing it because, according to the new girl, "I want to get dressed up and have my picture taken too" referring to my x-sil. That is a mature reason, huh? Then the date of the fake wedding came out and it was for when my munchkin's birthday party was scheduled and it was the day before my munchkin's birthday. Instead of an apology of jacking my son's birthday I was told "Well, I guess you'll have to move your son's birthday."

The day of the fake wedding arrived and the new girl made the mistake of running her mouth at one of my salons and telling my face girl "I fucking hate my fucking fiance. He has ruined my entire fucking life. I fucking hate him." That's love on your wedding day...fake or not. At the wedding where I dreamed of spilling a glass of red wine down the front of her fake wedding dress instead she walked up behind where I was sitting and pulled a chunk of my up-do down and asked if I had my hair done. The only reason I didn't knock her out was because I was sober and I felt a little sad for her...no-one from her family showed up to the fake wedding. And I mean no one....her parents didn't show, her 2 bros didn't show, her grandparents didn't show, no aunts, uncles or cousins either. (Read: See, even her own family doesn't like her.) I do however believe that mother nature showed up to warn them that this isn't the best decision, because there was a tornado the night of their fake wedding. This is a sign y'all...

The next time I saw them was on Christmas Eve where we deduced that the new girl is pregnant again. This normally isn't a big deal, but you see I'm the only grand-daughter, all of my cousins are boys, and none of what my mother considers the biological grand-children had a girl yet so after I filed for divorce and my x-sil was pregnant with baby #1 my bro threw it in my face not in the nicest manner that he will have a girl before me. Um, I think the fact that you are having sex and I'm not greatly increases your chances. So even though my 2 cousins have girls (the one my mom considers biological had a daughter in September and the one my mom doesn't consider biological~her bro adopted him when he was 5 after marrying my aunt~has a daughter who is going to be 15 this year) I know that my bro is adding to his child number in hopes that they have a girl before I do. Again, not hard...I'm still not having sex and don't have a plan for a baby in the next year or two. Duh!

So the latest compilations of crap that has finally broken me with being involved with my bro and the new girl are 3 separate incidents...

Incident #1 when the new girl commented that she would gladly give away her oldest son than the youngest son on Christmas Eve...as that "step-kid" who is known not to be biologically the father's child this hit me really hard. Aren't you suppose to stand up stronger for your child who you are the only real parent in the household to? Not be willing to toss him under the bus quicker than your other children who happen to belong to or have been admitted to belong to your spouse. Yes, I'm very sensitive to this situation and maybe too much too, but this was just uncalled for.

Incident #2 is when I was getting prank calls from the county jail and I called my mom to make sure it wasn't someone in the family and when she called my bro his response was, "I'm sorry to disappoint my sister, but it isn't me." How dare you think the fact that you are not in jail disappoints me. You are an idiot and a jackass.

Incident #3...throwing it in my face how you are moving into a 3,000+ square foot house in a ritzy subdivision while you remind me I'm still living in a single wide trailer. And of course the subdivision is one of the few that I have looked at and hoped to eventually relocate to as the munchkin and I move up in the world with all of my hard work in school, etc. Since I would rather live in a box than near them it has been crossed off my list. So upon learning this news in such a distasteful manner and with the rudeness that only my bro can invoke I have deleted their contact information from my phone and figure the only time I will really have to deal with any of them is maybe on Christmas Eve. So I say...well dear ex-bro and skanky x-new sil you are moving today to your new, rented "luxury" house that you can't afford (I know how much you make and how much your bills are and I do judge, so deal with it) and mother nature is with me, yet again. Because after our blizzard on Wednesday where we received 9 inches of snow, she showed up again today, your moving day, and is giving us another 3-6 inches.

Just another sign I say...a warning sign that this "marriage" is doomed and needs to stop. For God's sake even mother nature is telling you to end it. Duh!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3

Just getting started: 4, 5, 6

Needs attention: 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15

Bad Mood

Earlier today I declared that I was officially in a bad mood. This sank in right after I called my allergy doctor's office at 1:15pm to make sure they would have my munchkin's monthly script for Ritalin ready when I got there for my allergy shot. When the assistant on the other end advised me they were closing in 15 minutes I was dumbfounded! The conversation went something along these lines...

j'lynn: Excuse me?

assistant: We will be closed. We are closing at 1:30pm.

j'lynn: I'm sorry, I thought you were open until 2pm.

assistant: Usually we are, but we got permission to close early today.

j'lynn: Seriously? So I guess I'm not getting my shot today.

assistant: Unless you can get here in 5 minutes.

j'lynn: Well that is completely impossible I live in [the town north of you].

assistant: Um...we got permission to close early today.

j'lynn: Guess I won't be getting my weekly shot this week, huh?

assistant: I don't know what to tell you.

j'lynn: I think you already told me; I'm not getting my shot this week.

Hello?!? You are a frickin' doctor's office. You cannot just get permission to close early! Needless to say this started my irritation for the day.

Then my ex-sil texted me asking if I knew of anyone hiring for a part-time job. I told her of the two places I knew hiring...Burger King & a gas station. After several texts back and forth she advised me she wasn't desperate enough to lower herself to work at such places. Excuse me?!? I love the fact that she is telling me on one hand how she needs a job pronto and no longer thinks spending the next 2 years getting her nursing degree is worth it and she would just rather have a job now, but even though she has no work history and no education and no degree past her high school diploma (from 1995) she is too good to be a cashier or work in fast food and she wants a real job!! Seriously?!?

At this point I declared that people were just pissing me off and I needed to unplug for the day... The only bright spots of my day were Alabama beating Arkansas! (Sorry Blaez & Legally Fabulous!) Plus the fact that Ranger's wife was finally going to have their baby.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 22, 24, 25, 27, 28, 29

Just getting started: 7, 13, 14, 15, 19, 20, 21

Needs attention: 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 16, 17, 18, 23, 26, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

No Rest For The Wicked

I hope everyone had a wonderful Turkey Day. For the most part, mine was great. I actually slept in until almost 1pm (going to bed @ 2am and taking NyQuil will do that to a person!), got up, sent my holiday wishes to all of my friends and family, chatted with a few friends on text, hopped in the shower, talked with my guy and headed over to my mom's for dinner. Dinner was great, everything seemed to be going well and everyone was getting along well until in walked my brother, his (alleged) wife and their two boys.

I just cannot seem to get past my anger with my brother. He is just such an ass! He hasn't called or made any contact with anyone in the family since he returned from doing his 2-weeks in jail in Kentucky, didn't respond to my mom's inquiry if the 4 of them were going to be attending Thanksgiving dinner, but then comes walking in and telling us what we can buy them for Christmas. Seriously?! Then he takes out his phone and shows only my aunt a picture of his new truck so I ask him if he went off and bought another new car and he comes off with that he was in an accident and totaled his truck. So I tell him how I didn't know he was in an accident that it isn't like he ever talks to me. He then gives me some BS story of how he is working 4 jobs and doesn't have time to talk to people. Ten minutes later I cut myself a piece of pie and cheesecake, put the whipped cream on it and made my way into my mom and dad's bedroom and watched some of the Cowboys-Raiders game (Way to go Cowboys!!!) until they left.

When I think of my brother I just want to scream and when I see him I just want to punch him in the face. By the time I made my way home I almost wanted to send him a BBM telling him that we are going to have to split up Christmas because I have no desire to be in the same room as him. I wish I could get past my issues with my bro...just let it go, but he is on a list of people that I cannot get past being angry with. This is a pretty short list mind you...my ex-in-laws (I count the family as one), a former boss of mine who fired me and my brother. How can I get past my anger? For my own benefit I would be willing to try almost anything because I'm tired of being so angry...this is part of the reason why I hate the holidays.

I am very very very happy to report that even after my day of partaking in Thanksgiving dinner and drinking (I had a few glasses of wine too) that when I took my blood sugar tonight it was only 117!! Yay me!! Oh yeah...and I wore a pair of the pants I bought a month ago to Thanksgiving dinner and they are a size 22! Double Yay Me!!! :D

As the end of the semester looms and the holidays get into full swing, there is no rest for the wicked, so I give you My Friday To-Do List:

1. Pick up the house

2. Do laundry

3. Write out my shopping list

4. Get organized

5. Do all of my Litigation homework

6. Do all of my PR homework

7. Do all of my Small Firms homework

8. Do all of my Pre-Trial homework

9. Write out the munchkin's soccer & school pictures to give out

10. Plan out my week

11. Write my man

12. Write my h.s. friend

13. Get me some sleep

I kept it shorter this weekend since my focus has to be on numbers 5-8 this weekend! Wish me luck y'all! :)

Not happy with myself

This weekend I have a lot of homework, including writing a major motion and brief for Pre-Trial. Both the minimum and maximum is 10 pages for the brief portion of the motion, so when I didn't wake up this morning until my (other) ex-sil called to talk about yesterday's court appearance at 12:42pm I was not happy with myself. And of course I woke up with a blinding headache and stuffy nose (thanks allergies!), so I popped about 5 pills (allergy pill & motrin), hopped in the shower and went and picked up some food so I could get started on some homework. I tried to accomplish as much as I could so far today...

Accomplished: 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 16, 19, 20(picking up scripts)

Left to do tomorrow: 5, 6, 9, 13, 14, 15, 17, & 18

The Truth Can Force One Into A Good Decision Sometimes

Let me recap my day thus far for you all... Mom was suppose to call to make sure I was up at 5:30am. Finally, at 6:15am I realized no call was coming so I needed to drag my own ass out of bed! I hop in the shower, get ready, realizing yet again I will be late, but this time I'm okay with being late, because there really is no need to leave an hour and a half before your scheduled court time when you are only 15 mins (max) from the courthouse. I make a call to Mom to make sure she didn't oversleep and after a quick confirmation that she just simply forgot about me (this isn't the first time in my life Mom has done this; however, this time was not nearly as traumatic as the first time!) I hang up and realize that my mom is beyond her breaking point already before 6:45am.

Aunt arrives, I finish getting ready and am out the door by 7:25am. I have yet to figure out why I used to be able to get up, get ready and get out the door in less than an hour and these days it just doesn't happen. Am I just old and moving slower?! I pulled up to Mom's, get out in the pouring rain, run in and she starts apologizing that she didn't hear me pull-up. I'm not sure how she expected to hear me pull up when the wind is blowing like crazy and the rain is coming down in sheets! She tries to usher me out the door, because we are running late. I demand one swallow of water to take my AM half of a pill and then we are out the door. I literally look at my Dad and say, "Hi. Bye."

We arrive to Biggby's after I've made apologies for running late and the fact that I want to go to Biggby's because I know I can get my DDHC and it is sugar and fat free versus my mom's normal McDonald's run for her coffee where nothing comes out as sugar or fat free. All is forgiven, I run in get her coffee and my DDHC, along with a plain bagel and cream cheese to insure my blood sugar doesn't drop too low during court proceedings. Why is it at a coffee house when you tell the barista that you just want a coffee with cream they look at you like you are retarded? I'm sorry, I don't drink the nasty stuff and I know my mom's version of coffee is whatever is on sale, Maxwell House v. Folgers. Back in the car and off to the courthouse we go.

We sit in the car while cigarettes are finished and then brave the nasty-ass weather to go in after we see the foster parents enter. We go upstairs and wait as the crowd starts to gather. There is an impressive lot of us there once everyone arrives. The sad thing is, this isn't my first go around with this same type of situation, and I'm always amazed at how many professionals are available after things go badly, but never before. Roll call: 2 prosecuting students & their professor; current CPS worker; former CPS worker just "observing"; foster parents; two doctors~the treating psychologist who could have been mistaken for a criminal (long hair, sloppy dress, creepy-dude look) & the ER doc that treated the boys they were removed from their mom's home who needs to seriously be checked for Type II diabetes; a very serious narcotics Detective (I was afraid his face may crack if he even thought about smiling); the boys' attorney who relieved some of my fears of passing the bar; the foster care worker from FIA; the current CASA woman appointed by the judge to monitor the case and to interact with the boys and mom throughout the last year; the former CASA woman; the Parenting Coach assigned to give mom classes on how to be a better mom; Paternal Grandma (my mom); me; ex-sil; Defense Counsel; and new friend of ex-sil's who called herself 'like a sister' of ex-sil. I'm still confused by the fact that with all of the "assigned personnel" that this situation could go so badly since 6 of these professionals were involved after the first incident Fall of 2008 through the second incident on February 6th, 2009 to present. Who missed what? Is my ex-sil that smart? She barely passed her GED classes...and she has never been nominated for a Golden Globe, but somehow she fooled them all.

The Judge takes the bench...preliminary motions are made...orders entered...scheduling conflicts advised of...Prosecutor's Opening Statement is made. In less than 3 minutes, the Opening Statement is over, Defense Counsel has reserved his right to give an opening statement and a recess is taken so Defense Counsel can appear in another courtroom at 9am. I exit the courtroom and call mom who was ushered in to the hallway due to her status as a witness but is no where to be found. As I stand in the hall waiting for her to answer her cell phone the ex-sil walks by me. She gives me a dirty look like I have betrayed her. Seriously? Seriously?! I make a flippant sound of "Hmph." (It sounds better than I'm expressing here...think 'Hmm...I got voice mail...interesting.") I meet mom downstairs and we take cover under a neighboring building while I give her the lowdown of the exhibits entered thus far and why we are in a recess already, plus the fact that the Judge has to take a recess from 11:15am-2pm!

We watch ex-sil exit the courthouse with her pseudo-sister and stand in the rain to smoke their cigarettes. We then enter the courthouse and head back upstairs. What Defense Counsel thought may only take 5 mins, but the judge said would take 30 mins really only took 15 so he begins frantically looking for his client. Apparently there was some fear that she was so upset that she may just leave...yeah, that would have been very fun and would have made for a great paper for my Small Firms class (yes, another class 4 years in where I have to go and observe court and yes, yet again I will use family court appearances as my subject matter!). I tell him that his client is outside smoking. He looks shocked that me, the evil mystery woman, would give him such information. (He would be even more shocked if he recalled that he cross-examined me years ago for an unrelated matter and tried to call me a liar on the stand and I responded with something like, Mr. Defense Attorney maybe you know more than my Judge, but I'm going by what he told me at the last court hearing,which was that unless I have a signed copy of the final order in my hand not to consider myself legally divorced and if I was to get remarried I would be committing bigamy which he would be sure to have me prosecuted for, so I'm sorry in answer to your question I am your client's legal wife. I know you don't like the answer, but I'm just telling you the truth.")**Yes, I am very mouthy when I enter a courthouse!! LOL

I enter the courtroom and wait and wait and wait. Someone finally comes in and tells someone in a loud whisper, sorry...we all hear what you are saying when we are in such a small room, that the respondent is considering signing off her rights. Finally a decision is made and for the fist time in a long time, my ex-sil makes the smartest decision and chooses to stop the trial and sign off her rights to her two boys. We spend the next hour watching people scramble to get paperwork together and get this back in front of the Judge to enter this matter on the record and get an order entered before the Judge leaves for his 11:15am recess.

By noon mom and I are sitting at Red Lobster, drinking our Sunset Passion Pina Coladas and eating our Lobster Fondue after she called the necessary people to tell them it was over and then recaps how she told the CPS worker that she thinks the fact that I was there and when ex-sil walked past me combined with the fact that mom was sequestered as a witness made her realize that her battleship had been sunk and that is why she finally made the choice she made. I, of course, then nicknamed myself "The Enforcer". Who knew I had so much power?! Well, okay...I always have, but it is nice that others are finally realizing it too!

Everything is over and done with... We wait 21 days to ensure no appeals are filed, which there won't be, and then the adoption procedures will begin for the foster family to finally make my nephews a legal part of their family. Only one time did my mom break down today, but I think later tonight will be a different story. She was fully vested in this matter and had made it one of her top priorities for what happened today, to happen one way or another.

I walked in the house at 1:30pm today with the intent to immediately start on my list, but by 2pm the emotional strain of the day was pounding in my head, so I opted to lay down a bit. My man called at 3pm to see how things went today and for the last 2 hours I've been trying to catch up on a few things, waiting for the munchkin to get home so I can give him a huge hug and kiss and go and grab dinner before he leaves with my aunt for the weekend.

Keep Your Fingers Crossed Please!

Tomorrow is the day. It has all came down to this. At 8:30am my ex-s-i-l's trial starts. I don't think it will be a long trial. It is a bench trial and I have a gut feeling we will be done by lunch. I'm hoping that the best situation for the boys is what happens. I will go to bed saying a little prayer to my Nana & Papa to take care of their great-grandbabies!! Please keep your fingers crossed. I'll update everyone when I can! Hopefully with smiles and tears of happiness not sadness.

I know I've been pretty quiet this week on here. I will fill you in more in the coming days about that...needless to say, it hasn't been a great week.

How could I leave this off...

My Friday To-Do List:

1. Write out my shopping list

2. Go shopping

3. Do laundry

4. Pick up my lab test results

5. Main in my rebate for my crackberry

6. Do all of my Pre-Trial homework

7. Do all of my Small Firms homework

8. Do all of my Litigation homework

9. Do all of my PR homework

10. Pick up the house

11. Clean out the backend of my car!!

12. Get organized

13. Plan out my week

14. Write my man

15. Write my h.s. friend

16. Get some sleep

17. Refocus myself for the week

18. Get my shit together!!

Well, since my mom is totally freaked out about tomorrow and she has me picking her up an hour before the courthouse even opens meaning I need be to her house at 7am and I need to get up by 5:30am and it is technically 1:14am I'm off to get some shut-eye!

Have a great Friday y'all!

My Personal Crime Watch Wednesday

Dani, I borrowed your blog post title and made it my own...it just fit so perfect for this update of mine (hope you don't mind!).

Yesterday there was another family court hearing involving my x-s-i-l about the boys. It was scheduled for 3:15pm. A few minutes before I received a picture text from my bro...it was my x-s-i-l being escorted in to the court room. The message read "Gotta love x-s-i-l in schackels and stripes!" Yes, she was being escorted to the court room by a Sheriff's Deputy from the county jail! Apparently she is hitting her rock bottom as she has been charged with possession of cannibus and cocaine less than 50 grams with intent to deliver.

In less than 9 months she has went from a productive mom of two, attending school with the support of my whole family to this, with a swing thru here. Way to go x-s-i-l!! You should be proud... (yes, I need that sarcasm font pronto!)

Updating a few items...

As a few people have told me, I don't do so well with updating after my crisis, so let me see if I can update everyone on a few things.



As for the situation that arose for a test that was never done...I have resolved the problem on my own with topical treatment. My aunt consulted with another nurse who worked for a specialist in that area, got the directions from her and said lets give it a week and see where we go! Well, we went all the way to the bank baby! It resolved the problem and I've been symptom free for a whole month!



As for the freak out, I have a set schedule for classes this semester starting in 10 days and I'm okay with it. It isn't perfect, but it isn't horrible either. I will have 4 classes, 10 credit hours. I will go to class on Mondays from 6p-9:25p, Wednesdays from 6-9:50pm, and Thursdays from 6-8:45pm with Tuesdays off! So like I said, not perfect, but not horrible either. And the really good thing is...only 1 final this semester. I'm sure that will mean more work during the semester, but only 1 final to prepare for!



As for the question of whether it was the flu or the pills...it was the pills! The doctor had me get off the pills for 3-4 days and the problem went away, so I talked with him last Saturday and he cut my dose in half of those pills and put me on a different pill to add to my diabetic regiment. I went from the girl who took only a birth control pill 6 months ago to a girl who is taking multiple pills...ugh, talk about feeling old. It was bad enough before because I would carry tons of pills with me in my purse and may be nicknamed the "walking pharmacy" to certain people now I actually feel like a walking pharmacy between all of my pills and blood checks. For christ's sake...I have 3 machines now to check my blood! I only have 10 fingers y'all! Anywho...the problem was solved and I'm really glad, but I must admit...that pseduo-flu helped with that immediate weight loss jump! ;)



Okay, for the big update...after being a basket case for days over the impromptu phone call from the new girl at my doc's office I went to see him a week ago. He explained things to me that helped me calm down a lot...especially after my 3rd phone call to his office and the new girl telling me my test results were over 2,000 and the internet said anything over 300 meant chronic kidney damage! The medication he called in is a high blood pressure medication; however, it is used to treat other things one of which is protecting one's kidneys when they are a diabetic. Basically, being a diabetic it is all interrelated and it affects like everything in your body! So, if you don't keep your blood sugars under control, you can damage your kidneys. So he ran the test to see if I was running albumin in my system and since I am he followed up with a second blood test which came back good that tells him that my kidneys are okay, but they they need to be protected a little. So...he called in the medication that protects them, which is also a medication for high-blood pressure. Of course, after crying in his office and carrying on for a few days, I felt tons better!! So things aren't always what they seem. I'm now on high blood pressure medication, but my blood pressure has been good since I started getting my blood sugar under control, so it isn't for my high blood pressure...it is to only protect my kidneys. And I need so little of it that I have to cut the pills in half!



So now I'm on 2 diabetic medications and they seem to be doing okay...my numbers are a little higher in the morning than I like and I wish I could increase my original meds but after 5 days in the bathroom...I'm going to wait it out. I am also on a high blood pressure medicine to keep my kidneys healthy! And in the last week, I haven't cried...wait...opps, yes I did, so with the exception of this little slip-up on Tuesday...this week over my diabetes.



Oh yeah...and my munchkin is doing well. He went to the doctor on Thursday as a follow to his ER visit and he is doing great! Actually the doctor told him he was the toughest kid he knows. Too bad that doesn't flow down to home, because on a semi-daily basis my munchkin reminds me that I have a sensitive son! Thank the aunt for that one!



As for my x-sil, no update yet, but they don't go back to court until the 25th, so we shall see then. As for my uncle, well, his health problems continue and he has now been laid off work since he has been off on medical for quite sometime. My aunt, not his wife, and I fear for him daily and wish he would go and see another cardiologist, but he hasn't done it yet. He scares me all the time with his problems and to be perfectly honest...even though there is no blood between us, he is part of the reason that I'm trying to become a healthier person...I don't want to be where he is at his age.



Did I miss updating anything y'all? Please tell me if I did! :) Sometimes once things are "settled" I move on in my head forgetting that others didn't! LOL

"The Boys"

I haven't updated you all about my x-sil and my nephews in some time, so let me do that now...

My nephews are doing wonderful. Their foster parents have been great. Last Thursday was another family court hearing in their case and boy, oh boy...lies were flying right and left by their momma. On top of all of that, she reached a plea agreement on her criminal case. Her two charges of 3rd degree child abuse were dismissed and she plead guilty to one count of 4th degree child abuse and was sentenced to 1 yr probation, 180 days jail to be served at the court's discretion (a suspended sentence), 1 day immediate credit for 1 day, court costs over $600. Then that same week she failed her drug test for family court.

At Thursday's hearing her excuse for failing the urinalysis was not because she smoked dope, it was because she was in a room with other people smoking it. Isn't that what they always say?

When questioned why she only produced one paycheck for the last few months is because she was fired from her job as a result of the abuse charges. Yeah...when you are convicted of child abuse you usually cannot work in an adult foster care facility. Duh! She did also apply somewhere that a cousin of ours works. This cousin is a friend of hers as well...and a mother to friends of my x-sil that she attended high school with. When my x-sil applied she put down my cousin as a reference and when the boss called my cousin she said, "I am no reference for her and if you put her where I work I will walk!" Wow...now that is a reference for ya!

When questioned about why she has not moved in to her "new" apartment as promised would be done by the 5th of this month, she said she was working on that still...and still staying with a "friend" on their couch. When asked for the "friend's" address she said it wasn't for her to give that. HUH? Sorry honey...that isn't satisfactory for a court.

When asked if she signed a document presented by my mom when she gave my oldest nephew away right after my brother filed for divorce she stated, "That's not my signature." The referee asked, "Are you telling me that you did not sign this document?" She replied, "Yup. That ain't my signature. I don't sign my name that way." Too bad that it is the same way she signed other documents that are in the file.

Other information that came out during this hearing that I find disturbing is:

**She had to be told she is not allowed to sleep when the children are in her presence, because apparently since my family is no longer allowed to go during the one hour a week visitation my x-sil attends at CPS all she does now is come in, lay down on the floor and tell the boys how "tired mommy is." She doesn't interact with the boys unless they come to her. She of course kept her back to the two-way mirror so they cannot say for sure if she was sleeping or not.

**My oldest nephew no longer wants to be in the room with his mom alone. He wants the door open at all times and he prefers when a "guard" or worker is present in the room.

**As to her boyfriend who she was not allowed to have any contact with as of February, because of this and that, she confirmed that "as of yesterday, I am no longer in contact with him." HUH? Guess better late (4 months) than never...

At the end of the hearing the referee told her she has 2 months to get it together and that come August he would be making a recommendation of what should happen with the children. I do not know if it did any good, but I think it may, my mother wrote a kick ass letter to everyone involved in the case and stated that our entire family no longer support the idea that the children be returned to their biological mother.

Contact with both former-sister-in-laws today...

So I woke up this morning with a pain in my back, sort of. It is more like my lower right quadrant on the backside. It is kind of constant with spurts of sharp pains. I'm hoping that this is tied to mother nature, stress and over-all feeling icky and nothing more serious. I always get a little nervous with pain in this area because of the cyst I'm carrying around there! I don't know what it feels like when a cyst bursts; however, I assume it would be painful so I am crossing my fingers that it is nothing except stress and "that time". I swear I'm falling apart in my old age!

So I talked to my guy's sister-in-law and it appears that no one has heard from him since the last time I spoke to him on the 20th! She is going to verify with her mother-in-law and report back to me. I'm sure if I don't hear from her there has been no contact, because I love my former sister-in-law, but she loves to stir the pot especially with me and my guy. She would have immediately called me if she had confirmed contact between the two of them!

Another call came in that went through the family drama dealing with my other ex-sister-in-law. Apparently the foster mother or the DHS people asked her about birth information about my two nephews...their weights, lengths and times of birth. She couldn't provide that information. For people who haven't had kids they would probably think "so?!" but once you have kids you know such information. I don't know why or how, but you do! I will admit that I couldn't recall the exact length of the munchkin but I was damn close (said 20&1/2, but it was 20&3/4), but I sure as hell remembered the time and the weight exactly (11:28pm & 9lbs1oz)! I just don't get how she couldn't remember the time and the weight? God help those two little boys...I think their foster parents are the best option right now. So very very sad...

Oh yeah...I went to get my mail while the munchkin was at soccer practice and I decided to treat myself to the newest addition in our town, Cold Stone Creamery, which moved in and is sharing Tim Hortons. Well, what a mistake!! Not only was it expensive and not as great as I hoped for, but how am I suppose to drive home with a cup of fancy ice cream without a lid and doesn't fit in a cup holder? Maybe I was expecting too much with an expectation of a lid and maybe a bag too...WTF? I won't be going back...

BTW, Update on Family Drama...

Outside of the family drama I'm creating I was called by my super secret spy today who advised that my ex-s-i-l's pre-lim is scheduled in front of a District Court Judge on April 20th for 2 counts of Child Abuse in the 3rd Degree...

In separate news...my uncle is worrying me with his health problems. He went and saw a Oncology Hemotologist(?) today. She is running more tests, he is still off from work, and I'm worried that there is going to be bad news discovered soon....so keep him in your prayers. He has had a bad couple of years ever since his wife was scheduled to be deployed, while she was deployed and since she has returned home. His 50's aren't treating him so great... :(

Lastly, my brother called me this week to inquiry about repos. I'm not sure how my schooling has prepared me to become the resident family expert on repos. Especially since I haven't had another repo'd (knock on wood! knock, knock!). I told him that I thought they could do what they said they were going to do, but that he was best to call the place where they bought the mini-van and see if they knew anything more. I did try to assure him the fact that he told them to come get the mother-trucker was not helping his cause and didn't alleviate his woman from making the $495/mo payments.... But what do I know! (eye-rolling here!)

A Moment...

Apparently I am having a "moment". I am irritable, pissy, tired and just plain blah... Like little things are setting me off. I'm not blowing my lid or anything like that, but little things are just getting to me! I wish I knew why....is it the weather? ...is it stress? ...is it just me? ...is it school? ...is it family and all that drama? ...is it my guy? ...is it my munchkin? ...is it work? If I could put my finger on it, I would try and address it and get over it. It isn't just the typical "funk" of feeling down or so it doesn't feel that way to me...but maybe it is. I told one of my BFFs today that I was having a "moment" and she said she too was in a funk and we would be "funky" together! ;) How sweet of her... :) Thank you BFF!

Of course the bottom feel out after I came home tonight... I knew this was happening, but I guess I hadn't confirmed it in my head, but I did tonight...

I don't really get along with my family...primarily my mother, my father, my brother and his wives and multiple children. We have some pretty serious issues. Issues that will likely never go away and sometimes if I was honest with myself, if I didn't need my mother to help with my munchkin because of school I probably wouldn't speak to her. Outside of our few words in the morning during the week, we don't talk as it is now. I only speak to my father on special occasions such as holidays and birthdays. Since 12/24/07 I've had 4 conversations with my brother and that all took place in September 2008. I haven't spoken to his 1st wife since 1/24/09 and I haven't spoken to his current wife since 12/24/07...and I've only ever spoken to her 2 times since they began dating in 2/07. I haven't seen my 2 oldest nephews since Christmas 2008 and they have been in foster care (again) for almost 2 months now! I've seen the next one once and that was on 12/24/07 and I've never "met" the youngest nephew. He was there on 12/24/07 and was 3 days old...but I did not see him.

...now let me continue with tonight... Easter is at my brother's. I have been invited through my aunt, but I will not be going. So it appears Easter will be me and the munchkin hunting for the eggs the Easter Bunny hides that morning. :) I will fix us Easter dinner and life will go on. I know I'm probably being childish and that is okay if you think so (and feel free to tell me!), but I can't do it. I can't go to his house and "play" nice after the treatment my son and I have received from them, especially as two of his children sit in foster care and he plays dad & hubby of the year with his "new" family.

Maybe it is because I've been the other child and my son could be the other child...should I have been "left" at foster care while my mother enjoyed her new family? Should I drop off my son to DHS should I get involved with someone other than his father while I have a new family?!

Alright...my moment feels a little better for now...now I'm off to bed! Good night and thanks for listening to some of my issues....

Weave or No Weave

So a few weeks ago my man's sister-in-law sent me an email telling me that my man's sister got a weave. The title of the email was "Sister's Weave". The picture was prefaced with a statement that she looked like a man in drag! Ouch!! If you knew my former in-laws you would know such "love" is common among them! So the story continues with a few follow up phone calls telling me that the weave was gone suddenly...

Apparently the sister was brushing her new mane and it came out! EEK!!! She rushed and had the weave replaced! She was furious that her $200 hair came out with a little brushing. The stylist told her it was because she wasn't suppose to use a brush on the weave and was only to use a pick of a wide toothed comb. I don't know if this is normal as I've never had someone else's hair in with my hair...call me cheap, but I have elsewhere to spend $200!

So she was happily re-weaved and life was grand. As she made plans to come home to see the family for a 4-day weekend (her hubby is in the Army and had a pass), I inquired to the ex-sister-in-law will she be appearing for her visit with weave or no weave?!?

I'm here to report, she showed with no weave!

A few updates...

Before I forget, here are a few updates...

Family drama...that is still going on. According to the last court date a warrant was to be issued that afternoon for the ex-s-i-l. She is allegedly facing charges of: maintaining a drug house; drug trafficking; aiding and abetting; and child abuse. According to my source at the local police station, no warrant had been issued as of last Thursday.

Family health drama...my uncle is out of the hospital as of yesterday. I think it is too soon, but I don't run health care in this nation and we know it is no longer the doctor's decision...it is all up to the insurance companies! He is doing much better, but will need to recover slowly, which I know is impossible for him. I worry about him a lot! :( My aunt's face is supposedly clearing nicely now that she finally went to a doctor and got appropriate treatments for it. Self-diagnosing is only good for certain things, but not flesh-eating disorders. (Not what she had, but still!!!) My other aunt has came down with another cold...she suspects her co-worker who prides herself on never missing a day of work who has been coughing up lungs in between smoke breaks is who gave it to her. And of course since my aunt takes care of the munchkin, you know where those germs are headed next. :( UGH.....

Puppies & strings...I don't recall if I ever updated that post. But the following Monday we learned that there was no danger after all, because the string was found under the coach not coming out of the puppies behind! So much for all of that drama! Maybe we should look a little closer next time before we become undone and start booking ORs!

If there is ever something I forget to update on, please feel free to drop me an inquiry in comments and I will do my best to update as soon as possible! ;)

Another Saturday Comes & Goes...

and I accomplished nothing. Well, not really but nothing I should have. I woke up pretty late today and jumped on my email because I knew I had several to respond to. 24 actually. So I responded to all of those and began reliving my week as I responded to my emails. What a week it was too...

Monday I made my way home after seeing my honey as you well know and I was so exhausted. I was in the bed by 9pm and then Tuesday I was back to a semi-reality with work. But no classes since it was Spring Break, which is now over. Then Tuesday night I had to go to the local charter school for an informational meeting to see if it would be a good fit for the munchkin. I'm so confused because I don't believe in charter schools. But my baby is having trouble with the other kids. So I filled out the application and submitted it and now we wait...we wait for a lottery to take place on March 9th to see if he is one of the lucky ones to be picked. And even if he isn't then we wait to see if he will move up on the wait list as others opt to not take the spot they were given. Nothing is more stressful than dealing with your child and what is best for them and whether they will get it! So please keep your fingers crossed that what is suppose to happen and what will be the best for my munchkin happens! :)

Wednesday after work I had to go to the DMV to get my driver's license replaced. The last day I went to see my honey I put it in my pocket and apparently didn't put it in there the right way because when I squatted down to dig our snacks out of the vending machine I cracked it. Normally I wouldn't have paid the $9 to replace it until I have to get a new license in 2010, except visiting my man wouldn't happen, because they won't accept a damaged license at MDOC. Of course the fact that I have to wait 10 business days to receive it irritated me and I told the woman behind the desk that they were wasting my taxpayer dollars by not printing licenses right there. She said their rationale is because if you have fraudulent papers they don't walk out with a picture id. No...they wait 10 days for it! But they still get a picture id...duh!

Thursday, as you know, was the day that the family drama heated up with my ex-s-i-l. I'm still kind of in shock about the whole thing. According to the detective that contacted my mom, he is building a case against her too. She thinks her life has been rough so far...let her do a little time in prison and she will reevaluate her life quickly!! Again, the only people who are hurt in this whole mess (outside of the gentlemen who was shot, of course) are my two nephews. According to the local paper, the boyfriend is only 17 and so was the victim. Just children themselves. She is going to be 24!! Maybe she was the leader of the pack.... SCARY!!

Later that night I met up with my car guy. I picked out my next car so I'm excited about that. I'm looking at a 2009 Ford Escape Limited 4x4, black pearl, leather charcoal interior, moon roof. I'm so excited about that, but not excited about the amount of money I have to put down to pay off my lease and get my payment to an amount that I can afford. I'm hoping my car insurance won't jump too! EEK!! We are in a recession and I'm trying to look at ways to cut expenses and I'm having to buy a new car. I guess I'm supporting the Big-3, so that is a good thing and since my aunt and uncle bought 2 new cars (a Dodge & a Jeep) I guess my family is contributing to keep the Big-3 going! ;) Way to go family!!! Now it is time to buckle down and go green! I have about 1500 miles left on my lease so I'm going to eat up more miles this month and get the car by the end of the month since my $5,000 rebates expire at the end of the month! LOL I'll post pictures once I get it. :)

Friday I said good-bye to a friend. One of my co-workers got a new job so we said good-bye to him Friday with cake (which is a staple in my office!) and drinks after work. After 4 drinks in 4 hours I left that bar and met up with my "other" aunt and my mom and had one drink there. Then we went to Big Boys to have fish since it was Friday during lent and I followed them home to make sure they made it home okay. Of course I didn't go to bed until 3am last night so I could digest my fish.

Now I'm off to write my honey as I haven't wrote him but once in the last 2 months I think! I'm sure he will be surprised!! :D I hope you all had a fabulous Saturday and was able to relax a bit too.... Enjoy your Sunday too!

Oh the drama...

There was another family court hearing involving my ex-s-i-l. As everyone waited for her, a detective came in to advise that she would not be able to appear in front of the judge this morning because she was involved in a shooting. Apparently it was a drug deal gone bad...the boyfriend is currently locked up facing attempted murder charges, she was taken in for questioning and according to the rumors she has been released. I am thankful for the fact that my nephews were not there as the shooting occurred in their apartment...

What a week...driving home after seeing my man, visiting a potential new school for the munchkin, arguing at the DMV while getting my cracked license replaced, the family drama from above and meeting with my car guy as I prepare to buy another car to bail myself out of my leasing mess.

On top of all of this, I'm just exhausted this week...so I'm extremely happy that I only have one more day to make it through....

Hodge-Podge

There are several things I need to follow-up on here so this posting will be a Hodge-Podge of a post. Gosh, I hope I'm not the only person who knows what a Hodge-Podge is! Or maybe I'm not and I just don't know how to spell it, so forgive me if it sounds like I don't know what I'm talking about! Or should I say, forgive me if it sounds like you don't know what I'm talking about! ;)

Comments/Followers....all in one evening!?! Much to my surprise I sign on to my blog and I see something funny. Actually two somethings funny...I HAVE COMMENTS & A FOLLOWER!!!! Woo-hoo!!! Thank you both! I was actually going to post that I finally had the courage to tell 3 very dear people to me about this blog and here 2 of them are!!!!!!!! Thanks gals! I love you both!! Of course the 3rd one can't show up for at least another 22 months and a wake up! But I did get the okay to post his picture showing off his mountain man ways. I'm just not sure if I should or if I can (I'm not really that tech savvy as others!).

Sillyjilly~~you made my day by being my follower and making a comment too! Thank you! I love you for that...as for the 80 degree weather, well I'm incredibly jealous, especially after exiting my car tonight to come to the room and it flashed a big ol' 7 degrees at me. Thanks car...you'll get yours when I trade you in next week! hehe

Dani~~thank you for your comment today. I actually thought of your Amy when I was writing my post. I don't admit how often I think of my Nana or my Papa, but maybe I will start now as it felt really good to think of her. I figured she was on my trip with me yesterday because not only did I think of her because of the Yun-Yuns, but also because I didn't realize the new bra I bought had dragonflies on it. I know...strange to think of your grandmother because her symbol is on your bra, but it is what it is! But don't worry...I won't be posting pictures of that even if I could! ;)

Family Drama Continues...I talked with my aunt tonight and she told me the CPS worker assigned to the case tracked my ex-s-i-l down and asked her why she didn't show up to court Thursday and she said "because it is tomorrow." I don't know if this conversation took place on Thursday or Friday, but if it took place on Friday I have to say an extra prayer for her because she wasn't even smart enough to lie about a day that courts are even open. :( When the tip of information was given to this woman all she said was she wasn't surprised by this story as she suspected the same thing. :( :( She then asked if there was anyone known to the family who could take the boys and when she was told that there is a couple who are friends of my aunts friend in Indiana who may be interested in adopting the boys she said for them to call her.... As we suspected, this isn't going to end pretty. I just hope and pray that it ends the drama in my nephews' lives... Keep praying for them as the Texan isn't doing well at all and is acting out severely.

Two teeth gone in a month? So my aunt called me tonight while I was grabbing dinner after my wonderful visit with my man. :) She told me that my baby lost a second tooth today at school. :( So he has went 6.5 years and lost none and now in the last 30 days he has lost two!! EEK!!! He is such a big boy now! Well, of course my child cannot do anything with out controversy. When you lose a tooth at school they put it in the cutest little holder that is in the shape of a tooth, with a string on it so they can carry it around their neck to bring it home and not lose it (again! LOL). Well, he was at Chica's after he got off the bus until my aunt could pick him up and the story goes that he was told twice to stop playing with the string, which is more of a plastic string than a string, string and he didn't, so Chica's Valentine's Day gift ate it... Chica panicked, called the vet who said to watch for it to come out of KC, but if they see it coming out and it isn't out all the way not to pull it out as it could strangle some of the puppy's organs. And of course, if it doesn't come out they will have to do surgery! So now I need to do an email to Chica to offer to pay for any charges they may incur from this incident. :( She was very angry with my munchkin, who then came home and cried because he hurt Chica and her KC. I feel horrible, but I have some issues with this too.

1. If you have to tell a child twice to stop playing with something and they don't, shouldn't you take it away from them? Isn't that part of what your responsibility as an adult is?

2. And how do we know for sure the puppy ate this string. It is a pretty long string...wouldn't he have chocked on it or gagged on it as he was eating it?

3. And ummm...Dr. Vet, can we do an x-ray to make sure the string is in there before we cut open this puppy?

Of course this isn't the only story she has to share with me of the issues my child has had since I left town less than 48 hours ago... Munchkin fell out of my mom's Mountaineer yesterday, landed on his butt and bruised his butt bone, or so we suspect. He complains when he sits down that his butt cheeks hurt. :( My baby!! :( They aren't showing any signs of bruising and hopefully he didn't bust his tail bone and it will go away, but my son~the drama queen~will carry this one as long as he can. I just feel horrible for him. And to add insult to injury this morning at the bus-stop one of the little kids that just moved in to the abandoned house down from ours (one that doesn't have a single window that had not been broken by the neighborhood hoodlums in the last 2 years the house has been empty) pushed my munchkin down on his injured buttocks! My son comes over to my aunt who got out of the car while she had been watching them crying because his arse hurt... She had to tell him not to cry because then they would call him a cry baby and then she told the other kids that there will be no more pushing. My son, being the narc that I have raised, immediately told the bus driver that the other kid pushed him down on his injured butt as soon as they got on the bus who in turn scolded the kid again. I see my son getting beat up for being the narc... But what can he do, when he does something back to the kids he gets in trouble. My baby can't win for nothing! :( What happened to the good old days before zero-tolerance when you could just push them back.

But hey...he made it 5 days with no calls from the school to me (which is great after my 2 calls from the principal last week!) and he didn't flip any disciplinary cards Thursday and Friday. He just narced a kid out and potentially killed a puppy.... He lives on both ends of the extremes. ;)

Yun-Yuns have returned...Well, the hotel I'm at houses some of the Yun-Yun drivers this weekend and at 1:55am (EST~~now that I've went national with my blog!) 4 of them just returned. They must have the Harley-Davidson version of Yun-Yuns as they are really loud!

A peck will get you a moan next time...So at my visit tonight, my guy tells me I just gave him a peck when I left last night. Which I think is funny because I thought he was short-giving on his end of both kisses yesterday. In the prison world for those readers who are not aware, you get one hug and one kiss when you start your visit and one hug and one kiss when you end your visit, these of course are limited to 5 seconds and with some CO's~yes, they are timed. Well, when I left tonight I refused to let him pull away from my kiss until I got his butt to moan...hehe Yes, I am evil.

Have a great Saturday y'all! I love you guys and hugs all around...I'm off to bed...

Family Drama...

A bit of an update...my ex-s-i-l who lost my two new nephews two weeks ago today (Friday...sorry, I'm posting late tonight) had a court date today that she and my bro were to attend as a follow-up to the emergency hearing the day the state took the kids. Well....before I can get to that I must update with the first call I received while on the road today (outside of my man calling to check on my progress and to tell me to drive safe in the blizzard-y conditions! He is so sweet!!!)...it was my aunt

aunt: Do you remember ex-s-i-l's friend A?

j'lynn: Yes

aunt: Well A's mom, L called me to tell me that she overheard a conversation of A's where she said that the boyfriend (who we suspect is the actual perpetrator) has moved in to ex-s-i-l's apartment and they are cutting meth there!

j'lynn: That is just great! You need to get word to someone for today's court hearing. Those babies do not need to be returned to that.

Well, I spent the remainder of the morning and the first half of my afternoon wondering what happened at court. Finally, I called for an update...the ex-s-i-l never showed up, no one is able to get a hold of her and at court they said they didn't know where she is. Her car is at her apartment, but her phone is disconnected. So now we wait to see what is going on and what is going to happen.

Yet again I'm saddened, heartbroken and surely disappointed. As for how the boys are doing...not great. :( If only I could take them myself and remove them from this misery... I really wish I could take a break from my hectic life to take them and help them get on track, but I have to remember that I can't due to time constraints of having to complete school and also my commitment to my son, because I don't think it would be fair to him. But if someone could promise me that he would be okay and my school would be okay, I would go right now and pick them up, hold them in my arms, love on them, and take them home with me...

Another Monday Down...

After working my 6 hours today off to school I went...

First class down. Check!

Second class down. Check!

Third class down. Canceled! Woo-hoo!!!

Then I found out that one of the "smart kids" got in to an altercation at our "prom" and is looking at Assault & Battery charges! EEK!!! Boy oh boy, I was very glad that I'm not that smart and I don't do adult proms. :D

Let me finish my food diary for today...

Snack: Well during my first two classes I snacked on carrot sticks. Drank more water and started a diet sunkist.

Dinner: Since class was canceled I went to Rio Wraps and had me a Holy Moly!! Yummy. Probably a thousand calories, but yummy!

Snack: A vanilla frozen yogurt cone & a sweet tea...

On a side note, I finally texted my x-s-i-l, "b" to see if she had anything to say after losing my nephews to the state again. :( (I will elaborate some day, but it is still currently under investigation so I will wait!) But she didn't respond so now I wait to see what comes out of her next. I did call my oldest friend "a" since she has a connection in to the PD to see if "b" was sitting there and found out "a" won tickets to see Nickelback! Rock on!! I offered to sacrifice and go with her if she needs someone to go! Only time will tell!! Part of me hopes she needs someone to go and part of me hopes her bf can go.

Well the munchkin just ran by to get in my bed for the night, and since my alarm goes off in about 4 hours or less, off to bed I go. G'Nite Y'all! Hugs....