Confessions...

Today I must confess a few things...

I confess today that I am not a camper. I've never had a desire to camp or even the small thought of 'Oh, maybe that would be fun. Let's try that.' Like as in NEVER! I don't enjoy being outside at night, sleeping, nor do I enjoy being cramped into a tiny space with no protection other than some flimsy material between me and the outside elements, which in my mind include weather, animals, and other people. But I do love my son, so last night we went camping...

As a part of the munchkin's cubscout pack, we went to our local farm team (baseball folks!) to do a sleepover. First we arrived there early enough so the kids could line up and partake in a little cubscout's parade on the field before the game. Then we were to settle into a whole baseball game. This is always fun with a child diagnosed with ADHD! Especially a 9 year old boy who is there with five other 9 year old boys. At one point I thought if I hear "Hey guys, he has 3 balls!!" one more time I was going to pop off with, "We all get it...he has 3 balls instead of 2, it was only funny the first 3 innings!"

After the game some of us moms trekked out to the cars to grab the camping gear. This was super fun for me since the shoulder strap on the bag that my parents' tent was in snapped within 10 feet from my car. Always extra special! Luckily the only dad who trekked out with us put my bag on top of their bag on wheels and hauled it in. Of course me and one other mom were at the end of our group coming back into the stadium and were stopped to be told that we couldn't re-enter until the fireworks display happened. It was irrelevant to them that our children were inside waiting for our return or the fact that the rest of our group had made it in. So instead we stood, out on the street, while the fireworks happened and the non sleep-over folks left before we could reenter.

Once we were allowed to reenter, we made our way back to the group and waited until they cleared the field so we could go in the outfield and set up our tents. And by setting up our tent that meant me waiting for someone to feel sorry for me and come over and do it. It is extra special when you pull something out of a bag and ask, "Is this the tent?" Tents were set up and we were advised there were going to be 700 campers out there in the outfield for the night. Oh boy! What fun!! 698 other people plus me and the munchkin.

The lights were finally shut off at close to 1am and I was exhausted. I couldn't wait to go to sleep! But there were a few things that I hadn't considered or taken into account...

1. It was frickin' hot as hell out there! It had been hot all day and at game time, 7pm, the temp was 88 degrees and muggy. Being down in a stadium cut off a lot of the breeze and after being in the heat and humidity for over 7 hours, it is a bit unbearable because you have sweat your ass off and are just disgusting and sticky!
2. The parents' tent was the size of my kitchen table, which seats only 4 people!
3. Tons of cubscouts and their leaders, parents, and siblings equals a lot of noise...ALL NIGHT LONG!
4. Our wake up call was coming in less than 6 hours!

This leads to confession #2...I am old!!

Sleeping on the ground with only the same flimsy material between your body and the ground provides no protection down there either. And the thought that a sleeping bag will provide some cushion is a cruel joke. Needless to say after a couple hours of light sleeping I started to fear that I may not be able to stand up when our wake up call happened, let alone walk, or lift anything! This realization came at 3am and I had 4 more hours to discover if I would need to phone 911 to get my fat-ass out of the tent and out of that stadium!

At 6:30am I couldn't wait to get this "camping trip" over with. Of course the munchkin didn't sleep well either so we opted to get up, walk up to the restroom, and then come back and start packing up our "camp", which of course required me waiting for someone to help take down the tiny tent too! Then we sent the kids and the other moms upstairs to breakfast while the dads and I took all of our stuff out to our cars. Yes, I play both roles...mom & dad! I hobbled back to the stadium wishing I could just stay out at the car and the munchkin would come out when he was done eating, because I was going to have to walk up 4 flights of stairs with my sore back, sweat drenched clothes, and exhausted butt dragging to go and eat cold scrambled eggs, cold frozen pancakes, cold frozen hashbrowns, sausage links and bacon.

After coming home, laying down for about 2 hours, and taking motrin and while I sit here considering taking some of my pain pills from 2 months ago when I royally screwed up my back I am here to confess...I hate camping! I am damn old and no longer ashamed to admit it!

I've Got A What? Where?

About 3:30pm today I started not feeling so hot. I felt sick to my stomach with a wicked headache. Instead of working until 6pm so I could leave early Thursday I decided to go back to my usual 8am-4:30pm schedule and booked out an hour later. Since on my list for today was to go grocery shopping after work and I felt horrible, thinking no one would be at the house I opted to come home to take a little nap before heading off to the store.

I was surprised when I pulled in and my aunt and the munchkin were at the house. It didn't stop me though...I walked in and went straight to bed. I was out like a light in minutes and didn't wake up until almost 8pm. Knowing I had to get a few things I took off to the grocery store around 9pm. Picked up the necessities to make it till the weekend, filled up the tank and came on back home.

By the time I got back home I could hardly walk without pain. I thought I just had a spot in another more personal spot that was raw or something. I quickly discovered that it was more than just raw...I have a boil in an area that you would never want a boil. Go figure! Of course I would get a boil that makes it hurt when I walk or sit... :( Maybe I should have just kept sleeping this afternoon instead of making sure the kid and I had food, huh?!

Consider it done: 1, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, 19, 20, 26, 27, 28

Just getting started: 2, 3, 4, 17, 21, 24, 29, 30

Needs attention: 8, 9, 14, 22, 23, 25

Up In Flames

In the past 48 hours I've gotten very little sleep. It isn't the smallest amount I've ever received, but it is still very little. Monday night I started working on the first issue in my brief, which is due today at 5pm, sometime after midnight. So does that technically make it Tuesday that I started on this piece of homework?!? It really doesn't matter! I crawled into bed that night/morning around 4am. I set my alarm for 9am, but my man was nice enough to call and wake me up at 8:50am Tuesday morning! I love it when he does that! It is such a nicer way to wake up than to an alarm clock! After our call ended, I hit the books!! Okay...maybe the interenet first but by 10:30am I was well under way with homework. I called it quits last night a little after 2am. I saved and printed what I'm going to turn in before 5pm this afternoon. I'll fix whatever mistakes next weekend when I tackle the rest of my issues!

Needless to say, even with a wake up call from my mother this morning~~I've gotten really good at faking 'no, I'm up!'~~I over slept. I'm rocking the dirty hair pony tail and hit the road after throwing everything in my numerous bags. Almost to work, cruising at approximately 82mph, looking for good tunes on my non-satellite radio (sorry, but the budget just doesn't allow me to pay for something I can get for free!), it happens...I burst into flames! Okay...maybe there was no 'bursting' and maybe no 'flames' either, but my frickin' arm felt like it was on fire!! Of course this would be my arm inside my winter coat, which is of course zipped up! The more I shook my arm, the further the burning sensation went up my arm. I don't know if the pain was worse than the fear of literally going up in flames, but without losing speed and looking like a total spaz I quickly unzipped my coat enough to pull my arm out of my coat. The process of the actual burning had ceased, but the pain remained...over an hour later it is still stinging.

Of course my first concern was that I was going to literally go up in flames, but once that subsided and I assured myself, which included some begging to God, that the actual "fire" was out I had to wait to get to work to inspect the full damages incurred. I'm very happy to report that my self-inflicted injuries appear to be very minor, but very painful. Some red skin, but no big blisters or anything like that and no read damage to my shirt or my coat, but I do suspect the pain will remain for some time.

Having survived my own stupidity (yes, I was flicking a butt out the window when this happened and thank God that it wasn't the butt that ended up in my coat sleeve) this morning I wanted to immediatly go back to bed. Once I was at work with some spray on my burn, and trying to get things together I picked up my purse only to realize that I had a pen in my hand without the cap on and just wrote with blue ink on my lime green top. Seriously?!? Wasn't the bright red mark on my arm enough to draw people's attention today. Come on people!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22

Just getting started: 6, 12, 13

Needs attention: 14, 15

Updating a few items...

As a few people have told me, I don't do so well with updating after my crisis, so let me see if I can update everyone on a few things.



As for the situation that arose for a test that was never done...I have resolved the problem on my own with topical treatment. My aunt consulted with another nurse who worked for a specialist in that area, got the directions from her and said lets give it a week and see where we go! Well, we went all the way to the bank baby! It resolved the problem and I've been symptom free for a whole month!



As for the freak out, I have a set schedule for classes this semester starting in 10 days and I'm okay with it. It isn't perfect, but it isn't horrible either. I will have 4 classes, 10 credit hours. I will go to class on Mondays from 6p-9:25p, Wednesdays from 6-9:50pm, and Thursdays from 6-8:45pm with Tuesdays off! So like I said, not perfect, but not horrible either. And the really good thing is...only 1 final this semester. I'm sure that will mean more work during the semester, but only 1 final to prepare for!



As for the question of whether it was the flu or the pills...it was the pills! The doctor had me get off the pills for 3-4 days and the problem went away, so I talked with him last Saturday and he cut my dose in half of those pills and put me on a different pill to add to my diabetic regiment. I went from the girl who took only a birth control pill 6 months ago to a girl who is taking multiple pills...ugh, talk about feeling old. It was bad enough before because I would carry tons of pills with me in my purse and may be nicknamed the "walking pharmacy" to certain people now I actually feel like a walking pharmacy between all of my pills and blood checks. For christ's sake...I have 3 machines now to check my blood! I only have 10 fingers y'all! Anywho...the problem was solved and I'm really glad, but I must admit...that pseduo-flu helped with that immediate weight loss jump! ;)



Okay, for the big update...after being a basket case for days over the impromptu phone call from the new girl at my doc's office I went to see him a week ago. He explained things to me that helped me calm down a lot...especially after my 3rd phone call to his office and the new girl telling me my test results were over 2,000 and the internet said anything over 300 meant chronic kidney damage! The medication he called in is a high blood pressure medication; however, it is used to treat other things one of which is protecting one's kidneys when they are a diabetic. Basically, being a diabetic it is all interrelated and it affects like everything in your body! So, if you don't keep your blood sugars under control, you can damage your kidneys. So he ran the test to see if I was running albumin in my system and since I am he followed up with a second blood test which came back good that tells him that my kidneys are okay, but they they need to be protected a little. So...he called in the medication that protects them, which is also a medication for high-blood pressure. Of course, after crying in his office and carrying on for a few days, I felt tons better!! So things aren't always what they seem. I'm now on high blood pressure medication, but my blood pressure has been good since I started getting my blood sugar under control, so it isn't for my high blood pressure...it is to only protect my kidneys. And I need so little of it that I have to cut the pills in half!



So now I'm on 2 diabetic medications and they seem to be doing okay...my numbers are a little higher in the morning than I like and I wish I could increase my original meds but after 5 days in the bathroom...I'm going to wait it out. I am also on a high blood pressure medicine to keep my kidneys healthy! And in the last week, I haven't cried...wait...opps, yes I did, so with the exception of this little slip-up on Tuesday...this week over my diabetes.



Oh yeah...and my munchkin is doing well. He went to the doctor on Thursday as a follow to his ER visit and he is doing great! Actually the doctor told him he was the toughest kid he knows. Too bad that doesn't flow down to home, because on a semi-daily basis my munchkin reminds me that I have a sensitive son! Thank the aunt for that one!



As for my x-sil, no update yet, but they don't go back to court until the 25th, so we shall see then. As for my uncle, well, his health problems continue and he has now been laid off work since he has been off on medical for quite sometime. My aunt, not his wife, and I fear for him daily and wish he would go and see another cardiologist, but he hasn't done it yet. He scares me all the time with his problems and to be perfectly honest...even though there is no blood between us, he is part of the reason that I'm trying to become a healthier person...I don't want to be where he is at his age.



Did I miss updating anything y'all? Please tell me if I did! :) Sometimes once things are "settled" I move on in my head forgetting that others didn't! LOL

My Rock Bottom

This morning I had to report to the hospital at 7:00am for two tests. The first being an abdominal ultrasound and the second being a hidascan. I made it through the ultrasound and then started the hidascan. An hour and a half in to the hidascan as they started the CKK and gave me the first 3 minutes someone decides they need to have the onstaff radiologist look at the ultrasound to make sure I do not have a gallstone. So I sit there with 1/3rd of the CKK pumped in to me with the other 7 mins worth waiting to go in and had to miss a call from my man while she runs to the radiologist.

Three minutes later the tech comes back to tell me I'm done for the day. WHAT??? I've already been through the hardest part and been nauseous and now you are going to "dismiss" me?!? Ugh. Apparently, if there is a gallstone or an inability to clarify if a gallstone exists, they run the risk of pushing that gallstone through with the CKK. The radiologist was unable to determine if there were gallstones or not, or so the story goes, and it is too risky to continue the test.

I decided to go and follow up with my PCP, get the results of 2 of my tests, to see what he had to say about them stopping my hidascan today and address a new situation that arose a week ago. Well, that is when I started to hit my rock bottom. The new situation has progressively gotten worse and has been bleeding for almost 7 days, so when he inspected that he advised I needed to see a surgeon immediately, as in this afternoon. So an appointment was made for 2:00pm. Then he looked up my bone scan and that came back fine.

My blood work on the other hand...not good at all. I am now a diabetic...this is only the 4th time I've said those words. And each time I do I come to tears. It isn't to the point of being on insulin or anything like that and actually my blood work is only 1 point over the high end. So it is only the beginning, but I must get control over the situation now!!!! Of course related to this, my liver enzymes are a little elevated too. Ugh... So he tells me I need to start an oral diabetic medication, change my diet and start exercising. I will need to check my blood sugar twice a day. Doc also said that he would be sending my results to an Endocrinologist and also questioned if I was ever diagnosed with PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome). I was years ago and then the next OB/GYN told me I didn't have it...how the hell am I suppose to know?!?

Of course all of this is on top of the elevated blood pressure and swelled feet.... Ugh...talk about frustration! My PCP said he will wait for my ultrasound and hidascan results to come in to move forward on the whole gallbladder/stomach issue...so that hangs in the balance.

In between my PCP and my appointment with the surgeon I called my aunt and lost it. I'm so mad at myself and really disappointed. So I talked to her and then told her I'm just not in a position with the holiday weekend coming up to deal with this situation yet. I know that probably sounds horrible, childish and a total excuse, but I'm just not. I didn't even consider this would be the type of news I would be getting today. And I was feeling like every time I went for something or talked to someone it got worse.

Since I had not ate since last night at 8pm and it was noon I was starving. Heck, I hadn't had anything to drink since 11:30pm. I was dying of thirst too. I also had about 2 hours before my next appointment, so I went to a local sports bar to grab a burger and a coke (yes, I know these are soon to be non-existant in the immediate future) and that is when my man called. I lost it again while talking to him. He put an immediate stop to that. He repeated the same exact things my aunt told me. How there are other circumstances affecting this outside of just the things I've done alone. He told me to think of those things before I sit there all upset and kick my own butt. He also said that I can change it and it is only 1 point over, not 100, so not to let it defeat me and to turn around and kick its ass, instead of my own. He and my aunt are totally right.

So off to the surgeon I go...well, I thought something was going to be done right then. It wasn't. He has to scope it and then fix the problem, but he wants to make sure it isn't something more than what we are praying it is. So that is suppose to take place on Wednesday this week. Another day, another dollar. :( So it appears I will be having a surgical procedure done this coming week. And less than a week later I go and see the 2nd ortho... I mean obviously these are issues that need to be addressed and I have to take care of the problems, but what really sucks is that I'm missing time from work and it is all unpaid, because I'm out of time-off.

So now...I'm like living on credit and stressing over paying bills. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but it is summer time and I'm paying for daycare too, which is an extra $540+ a month. I'm not even looking forward to balancing my checkbook this weekend, but I might as well face that music too... I say, let's put it all out there so it can be dealt with.

Maybe America's Independence Day this year will be my independence day too....

...but I'm pretty exhausted so the munchkin and I are off to bed in the next hour.

A pain in the butt?

I am starting to realize I'm old...  Last night the munchkin had a baseball game and apparently sitting on the metal bleachers 4 times a week for 2 hours each time has finally gotten to me.  After sitting there for 2 hours last night sweating our asses off, I commented to my aunt that my butt hurt.  Well, I woke up this morning with a pain in my ass...not the usual "pain in the ass" but a literal pain in the ass.  I'm not sure why, what or how, but it has hurt all day today.  I'm chalking it up to very uncomfortable bleachers for several hours several times a week, a big butt and being old.  I hope I will wake up tomorrow with not quite such a pain in my ass!

Well, tomorrow I go to the orthopedic surgeon in the afternoon.  Then I'm going to get a manicure, a pedicure, my eyebrows/lip waxed and a facial.  Then I have to pack for my weekend with my man!  Woo-hoo!!!  I'm very excited.  I'm also hoping that they have comfortable chairs and I do not have a continuing pain in my ass!

PS:  I walked day #2...the hottest day yet...and I survived again!  Woo-hoo!!