I Think Of You Often

There are many days where I think of taking the time to sit down and write a blog post and I don't know why I don't just do it.  Maybe I need something dramatic going on in my life or feeling like I'm on the edge of disaster to get me back to this place.  I cannot even say for sure if that is what has lead me back here today.  Regardless, I'm back...

Not much has changed in my life.  Work is still crazy.  My son is still moody.  I'm still fighting the battle of the bulge and am losing.  My man is still where he has been the last several years.  We remain as always hopeful and pray that this year is our year.  We shall see...soon.  We are set to see the board some time next week and it could be weeks before we find out our fate.  I guess at that time we just have to rely on faith.  I don't know what else we could rely on.

In an attempt to treat myself last Friday I left work early and took myself to see "Magic Mike."  It was a good movie.  Better than I anticipated.  Of course I could have used lots more scenes of Channing Tatum stripping, but who couldn't use that!!

At this very moment my house is dead silent...as my son obliterates other gamers on Call of Duty.  Just another Tuesday night in my world.

Bring It On Honey...I'm Ready To Go To Court, But Are You?

If you remember a couple weeks ago I was suffering from some TV issues, which eventually lead to a tech having to come out for DirecTV, which then lead to me being sans TV for almost a week. According to the tech I had completely lost my line of sight and therefore could not get a picture from the satellite. The only place he could get a reading from the satellite was on the front portion of my roof, which of course violated the park rules (they are only allowed on the rear of our homes). My only options were to get a pass from the park management to put it in the front of the house or go back to cable.

I placed several calls to my park management before I received a call back. I was told that they would not give me an exception, so I immediately texted my friend to hook me up with cable. I didn't like the decision, but whatever. I dealt with it and moved on. Well, until I got home tonight and there was a note on my house that my munchkin's swing set isn't allowed and I have until the 21st to "take care of [it]." Really??

I've had it with this hell hole I live in. I pay my rent on time in full every single month. I have since we moved in back in March 2002. The only statement in the rules concerning swing sets is that a "small swing set is allowed." Well, my definition of small and their definition of small must be different. I think that is a question of fact, don't you?

Needless to say I'm not going to be "taking care of it." If my park would like to serve me with papers for eviction, I say bring it on. If they would like to take me to court and attempt to evict one of the few tenants they have that faithfully pays her lot rent on time every month and doesn't cause any problems, I'm ready! Because I've frickin' had it with this place. What's the worst that can happen? I get evicted?! Okay...whatever! I'll deal with it should it happen, but I just don't see a judge finding this as "just cause" for eviction. Do you?

On top of the stupidity of this entire violation is the fact that I had a swing set before for 7 years and this was a replacement swing set and this one has been up since September 6, 2009. Isn't it ironic that after I called for a pass on a rule a week later I'm receiving this notice? They couldn't have been coming by to see if I violated that rule, could they have?! Ha! Also, there is another similar swing set at another home in my park. So Ms. Manager bring it on, 'cause I'm ready, are you?!

My current plan of attack is to ignore the notice...I just don't think it is worthy of a response from me. (All future and current attorneys, if you disagree with my current plan of attack, please let me know!)

On my way home tonight I was all excited to post about finishing my Tax class. So much for that post...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 11, 28

Needs attention: 14, 15, 17

The Things You Hear In The Silence

Well, we remain sans television in j'lynn's world and apparently that isn't going over with with the munchkin or the aunt as I was advised tonight that should I need them tomorrow before his bedtime they will be at her house! LOL I made 2 calls and left 2 messages for the person in charge of our park rules...Since it is almost midnight I assume she isn't calling me back today. Guess tomorrow she will be subject to my hourly calling, because this is f'g crazy!!

I have discovered some things in the silence tonight though...

~People like to walk mysteriously close to my house when traveling through the property next to us.

~I am not the only person totally loving the new Eminem CD as someone is also playing it in their car every time they drive by.

~I apparently have the hearing of a dog, because every so often I hear a pitch squeal.

~My neighbor's are assholes shooting off fireworks just minutes before midnight on a Tuesday night & they are liable to get cut if they don't knock that stupid shit off!!!!

~The fan in my master bedroom either has a ball bearing out or it is about to die.

~I still can't seem to get my butt to bed at a decent time or get up on time either...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4*, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22

Just getting started: 8, 9, 23, 24

Needs attention: 13

*~~No cleaning lady till Friday, but since I got the house picked up I've moved this to the accomplished list. :)

...Sunday is the hardest day of the week

I almost always hate Sundays. They bring sadness almost every week. The only time that they don't is when I have Monday off! LOL Sundays are even worse when I'm back in school because not only does it signify going back to work, but it also signifies going back to class. But the worst Sunday now is the Sunday when I have to say goodbye to my man...

This past Sunday I woke up later than I wanted and I had to make a stop to Walgreens for my allergy pills before I went for my visit, so I rushed and got ready and raced off to breakfast. I ran thru Walgreens to get my pills and then raced to see my guy. I made up enough time that I arrived at the same time I did the morning before. This time I wasn't the first one in. I saw a woman walking across the street and the parking lot making her way in to the prison. I fought hard to make it to the door before she did, but I was about 6 feet behind her. I thought it was still okay, because I would be the 2nd person in. Boy...was I wrong! I was shocked when I walked in to the waiting room and saw 3 other people already in there. I was visitor #5. My anxiety had definitely increased!

Somehow it all worked out because I was the second person called in to the visiting room. We were able to secure seats next to a fan in the back and begin our visit! It was crazy hot again, so hot that the CO finally opened the windows, which are only 1 foot by 2 foot. In the afternoon while we were playing cards my back and legs were starting to cramp up so I moved my chair from being parallel to his chair to almost facing him. In order to accommodate the lack of space my man's left knee was between my two knees. They overlapped by less than 3 inches. There was nothing sexual about it and nothing devious either, but the CO came over and yelled at us to separate and for me to move my chair back to facing her instead of my man. I felt like a schmuck! I was already emotional and this wasn't helping matters... We weren't doing anything wrong! We weren't touching one another in an inappropriate manner, we weren't passing contraband...we were playing uno and I was trying to relieve some of the cramps in my back and legs! Ugh....

I fought back tears the majority of the day and with my guy telling me how he never wants to do anything to ever lose me again was not helping my emotional roller coaster either. But I held it together and when the CO called time at 7:50pm I was proud of myself and wondered if I could make it through our goodbye without tears. When we embraced and kissed, I stopped thinking, hearing, everything except feeling. It was one of those kisses/makeout sessions that always leads to more (wink, wink), so it stirred up so many things inside me. And when it finally ended and we hugged again and my man whispered to me that I had done good and he was so proud of me, the tears started and I couldn't get them to stop...I stole 4 more quick kisses (totally against the rules of one kiss and one hug at the start of a visit and one each at the end of the visit) and made my way to the door. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to turn around and wave goodbye to my man before I walked through the second set of doors. It was so bad that when I had to show my hand to the CO in the control room and hand him my paper to be scanned I choked out a "thank you" to him on a bunch more tears.

I didn't want to walk through the next set of doors without seeing my guy, so I mentally gave myself a slap in the face, pulled it together and turned around to mouth, "I love you" and blow him a kiss and give him a wave bye before I walked through that second set of doors. Like I said, Sunday is the hardest day of the week!

Just Another Saturday Night

As my recap continues let's step back to Saturday...

I set my alarm for 6:30am, because there is a lot I have to get done before I set off for my visit! Of course I didn't get up until after 7am, but that just makes it a normal morning for me. I got ready and left the room. I had to stop to the gas station and then on to the restaurant for a wonderful omelet! Thank goodness your food is there in a flash because by the time I sat down I only had 25 mins to eat and hit the road.

I try and leave no later than 9:10am to make it there by 9:30am. You cannot sign in for a visit before 9:30am, but you want to be there first so you get called first, processed first, called back to the visiting room first and get first choice of seats! I was so happy to walk in and realize that I was the first one there for visits!! I was processed and then about 20 minutes later I was called back to see my man. :)

We knew it was going to be a hot one so we opted for a seat by a fan. We spent the next several hours holding hands and talking. Then in the mid afternoon we began playing Uno! When I first thought of spending 10 hours in a prison visiting room when he was sent to this latest facility I couldn't imagine how we would make it and what we would do for that entire time. What all would we talk about since we talk almost daily for the allotted 15 mins and still write letters to one another all the time. But this is the second weekend I've visited and each time those 10 hours fly by!

Before either of us realize it, it is already after 7pm...we know we have less than an hour to go and that is when the sadness begins. Yes, we have another 10 hours together on Sunday, but you know that is it so the sadness starts on Saturday...

Once the CO (Correctional Officer) calls time, we pick up our table, get our papers and his ID and start to say good-bye for the night. The kiss and embrace is what you wait for all day and when it happens it is always amazing! Once we start, we don't want to stop, but after we both moan into the kiss we know for both of our sakes, we must. We say good-bye for the night and I walk back through those doors and leave my man with a smile and blowing him a kiss until the next morning.

I walk to my car quickly and head back to town and hit the restaurant again. I have dinner and then head back to the room. I am completely exhausted every Saturday night when I visit because of sitting for 10 hours combined with the level of emotions that we go through during our visits. But I cannot sleep so I start reading a book and finally drift off to sleep sometime after 1am...half excited for the next day's visit, but also half not wanting it to come because I know this is it for another 2-3 months.

It was so hot Saturday when we had our one (and only) bathroom break both my new panties and new jeans (a size smaller then what I have been wearing!) were damp. You are stuck in this room that seats 80 people that only has 3 house fans and 4 doors open. They rarely open the windows. The suspicion is because they want you to leave quickly, so they make it miserable for us. I find it ironic that us 80 people have 3 little fans and the 1 CO has 2! What MDOC has not figured out is that we are determined and aren't going anywhere!

Unlike the visiting room at the prior place, this one gets packed! I would estimate that each time I visit there is an average of 65 people in the room.

Conveniences taken for granted

It is a matter of convenience.  We all have them in our lives and some of them you get so used to you can't even imagine your life without them.  In my normal life I keep long hours and count on my local Wal-Green's.  Whether I need a coke, soap, a book or a medication that is behind the pharmacy counter, I head to my local Wal-Green's because I know that they will be there for me.  Well, I guess I began to assume there was a Wal-Green's in every town that would always be there for me.  I was wrong...

Last night I attempted to go to the local Wal-Green's and RiteAid to get my allergy pills, which are maintained behind the counter.  Well apparently they close at 10:00pm, because at 10:02pm they were both closed.  I knew I would have to wait till morning.  I showed up when they opened at 8am, but there was still no pharmacist.  I would have to wait another hour.  So I went to breakfast and then returned for my allergy pills.  Once I had those I was ready to go and see my man.  

We had 10 hours of visitation today.  It was wonderful.  We spent the first 6-8 hours talking and then decided to try our hands at Uno.  OMG...I haven't played Uno in forever!  It was so much fun.  We both did remark how we were together for years and would never have picked up a set of Uno cards to play, but we both love it.  Plus it is something that the kids could play too.  

Our 10 hours together were fantastic.  I was so happy we were together.  My only concern was/is my stomach and the complications I seem to be experiencing.  But I will admit that leaving tonight was really hard...I was on the verge of tears for the last 30 mins I was there to visit and once I was back at the room, my verge continued on the edge.  On top of this, we only have 10 hours left with one another and then we have to say goodbye again...