I Think Of You Often

There are many days where I think of taking the time to sit down and write a blog post and I don't know why I don't just do it.  Maybe I need something dramatic going on in my life or feeling like I'm on the edge of disaster to get me back to this place.  I cannot even say for sure if that is what has lead me back here today.  Regardless, I'm back...

Not much has changed in my life.  Work is still crazy.  My son is still moody.  I'm still fighting the battle of the bulge and am losing.  My man is still where he has been the last several years.  We remain as always hopeful and pray that this year is our year.  We shall see...soon.  We are set to see the board some time next week and it could be weeks before we find out our fate.  I guess at that time we just have to rely on faith.  I don't know what else we could rely on.

In an attempt to treat myself last Friday I left work early and took myself to see "Magic Mike."  It was a good movie.  Better than I anticipated.  Of course I could have used lots more scenes of Channing Tatum stripping, but who couldn't use that!!

At this very moment my house is dead silent...as my son obliterates other gamers on Call of Duty.  Just another Tuesday night in my world.

Productivity Stolen By Strep

I had hoped to get lots accomplished last weekend and this weekend as well, but that hasn't happened for various reasons.  This weekend I had this wonderful plan and was very motivated too....this is usually a recipe for success!

There is one thing that can derail my success and that started Thursday night when I returned from seeing my honey...my munchkin complained that his throat hurt.  He had no fever and no spots in his throat.  After a night of sleep I reexamined the munchkin who was still complaining of a sore throat, but everything remained the same so off to school he went.

After school and after work on Friday we opted to skip karate since the munchkin was still complaining of a sore throat and a general complaint of feeling "like crap." (His words, not mine!)  Plus he was looking a little rougher then he was that morning.  On top of all of that, a snow storm was kicking up too.  So off to the grocery store we went, ran a couple of errands, and instead of arriving at home after 9pm as we would have by going to karate, we arrived home at 7pm with an inch of snow already on the ground.

Luckily I had called Friday night and made a doctor's appointment for Saturday afternoon, because Saturday morning when we were suppose to be running additional errands I was feeding motrin to the munchkin for his fever, which developed over night.  So needless to say our weekend has been filled with lots of medicine (thanks to the diagnosis of strep throat), snow, and not much else.

The good thing, so far, is that my throat feels fine so as long as the munchkin can overcome this and I can remain healthy I'll gladly give up my productivity over my weekend!

It Is A Party Weekend!

This weekend was scheduled to be quite the party weekend.  Friday night was Chica's birthday party at a local bar & bowling ally.  I was so honored to be invited and put it in my calendar.  Last night was our 1st Quarter Team Party at the Big Guy (a/k/a the boss)'s house.

I had hoped that this weekend would be so eventful, especially since it is a 3 day holiday weekend.  This always leads me to develop some big plans of all the things I'm going to do and accomplish!  This list usually ends up much longer than time allows to accomplish.

But...Thursday night I could barely keep my eyes open while driving home during the start of a little snow storm from seeing my guy.  I'm sure the fact that I had been up since 3:30am had something to do with that.  Combine that continued tiredness and the fact that the snow storm was still going when the munchkin and I arrived home after Karate Friday night I opted out of attending Chica's Bar Birthday Party.  I felt bad, but by Friday night I'm exhausted y'all!!

Our team party was set to start at 3:00pm Saturday afternoon.  Of course I was an hour and a half late.  Opps!  As usual, I did not want to go, but had a great time once I was there and stayed over 2 hours longer than I had planned.  Yes, every time these plans and events come up I'm all like "I'm not doing this; this is the last one; etc." but in the end I am usually glad I have attended.

It may have been the alcohol I consumed at the party, but while it was still snowing (yes, the same little snow storm that had been going since Thursday night!) I saw a Kroger's and decided to do 98% of my grocery shopping at 10:30pm on my way home from the team party!  I do not know whether it was the hauling of the cases of Diet Coke or vegetables, but by the time I had everything hauled in my lower back was killing me...I blame this on the alcohol too.

After the necessaries were put in the refrigerator, I watched a little TV and then hauled myself to bed early this morning just so I could wake up 5 hours later unable to go back to sleep, which seems to be a pattern here of late, but that is a story for another post!

Being Back Feels Good

I finally feel like I'm getting back on track.

Graduation is over. Bar is over. Swearing in is over.

Now it is time to get things back on track.

I've gotten caught up on my blog reading and emails and reading all of the things I had marked as favorites on twitter too! I have all of my filing caught up too.

Now I have two things that I need to get caught up on...writing out talking points for my guy's next hearing in less than a month and writing my guy a real letter, which I haven't done in months!! These are the little things I have to still do.

But being back feels good...

Where Is The Time Going Now?!?

Wow! I don't know if I've ever went so long without blogging. My bad. My apologies too! Hopefully it won't be so long between posts in the future...

The last two weeks have been crazy busy and last week and this week I've been sick. Again. I'm trying to do extra things with the munchkin while all of us get a new schedule established. It is definitely difficult thus far and we haven't really hit our stride yet, but each day gets better. Now if I could just work trips to the gym, healthy eating, and some extra hours into the day life would be grand!!

I have to confess that I really thought I would have all of this time on my hands once school and studying was done, but that hasn't been the case. Between work, home, cubscouts, munchkin's school activities/homework, karate, my man, and family I'm finding that I have less time now then when I was going to school. What's up with that?! How does everyone else seem to get it all done?

Reality Is Knocking On My Door

Last Monday we had another major snow storm. Of course that was the day I was set to head to the hotel to settle in to take the bar. So after chipping an inch of ice from my car and brushing off around 10 inches of snow I made the two hour drive to check-in. I then spent Tuesday & Wednesday being tortured by the State Bar Examiners. I had booked my hotel room for an extra night, so I headed home Thursday morning.

After checking out, I hit up a MickeyD's for a cheeseburger. When I took a bite I realized that I was so achy from stress that my whole face hurt just from biting and chewing a damn cheeseburger. Who could have imagined such a thing... It was crazy!

Two hours later I finally arrived home and just sat until the munchkin got home so we could go to karate and then dinner afterwards. Of course it snowed some more again Thursday night and I had a doctor's appointment scheduled Friday early afternoon, which required me getting up early. So another almost 4 inches freshly coated our frozen tundra Friday morning just to make the drive extra fun.

I went to my new OB/GYN, who I adore, to be told I'm going to definitely need to have surgery. So this will probably be set up for sometime in April. I feel comfortable with him and feel okay with finally having my ever growing cyst removed. Apparently I'm carrying a grapefruit (or a large orange, if you prefer) around. Nice, huh?! Afterwards I went and spent time with my guy, but not before I found a Wendy's to stop by so I could do my makeup in their bathroom. Yes, this is where my life currently is post-bar.

Today was my pampering day. I got my hair "did", had a massage, and my monthly facial and waxing. Since I've been home tonight all I've done is watch TV and chill, but it has all been done guilt-free. This is the best. But since I return to work Monday I definitely need to be motivated tomorrow to get some things done, because reality is knocking on my door...

It All Started With A Little Blue Puddle

This all started Saturday night after my wonderful bubble bath and right before I went to bed when I noticed a little puddle of blue under the back of my toilet. I discovered that the tank on my toilet was leaking. It was 1:30am Saturday night. Nothing I could do about it and no one to call to help. And it wasn't serious enough Sunday to call my plumber. Um, hello? Paying a plumber on a Sunday? No thank you!

Monday morning I called my other aunt and then my uncle because it wasn't like I was able to afford even a phone call to anyone, because I couldn't pay them when they came out. While talking to them I also mentioned that my washer was having serious issues too. It was making a horrible noise going into the spin cycle and wasn't spinning all the water out and I would have to toss in an extra spin before putting them in the dryer. My wonderful uncle told me to make the necessary calls and they would take care of it. I was relieved...

In between getting this all together Monday morning I put some sausage and sauerkraut over. I was so hungry for it I couldn't wait all day for dinner to roll around. I hit the gym that afternoon and waited and waited and waited for my aunt and munchkin to get here so we could eat! I weighed out my sausage, measured my sauerkraut and sat down to finally eat. Even though I had cooked it all day, it wasn't done enough. Dinner failure. I cooked it again the rest of the night and resorted back to my chips & dips again for dinner. When it was finally done I tried it again. No go! There was no taste. How did I mess up a dish that I've made a hundred plus times? Needless to say I was not happy.

Off to bed I went, disappointed in my dinner, but I also knew I had to be up early for repair guys #1 who were scheduled to be here at 8:00am Tuesday morning. Fast forward to the following morning...repair guys quickly fix my toilet (the tank was lose...who knew that could happen...), so I figure while they are here and since I kept the cost so low I mentioned that it appeared my kitchen faucet had started to leak where the nozzle attached. After a quick look they discover it is more than a little leak...it was also leaking under the sink way in the back too. Of course that wasn't fixable, it had to be replaced. Out of the blue Mr. Fix-It asked me when was the last time I had checked my hot water tank...um, if it had ever been "checked" it would have been before my guy and I split up in '04. So he offers to check it and of course, thank God he did, because it was leaking. God, help me...

So a quote of $1,200 later to replace both my kitchen faucet and hot water tank I figured my day was pretty well shot! Of course this was normally bad all in of itself, but when you also figure that not only did I have to clear out from under my skin so they could replace my faucet I also had to clear out around my back door (a/k/a my laundry and pantry room) and my closet. You must remember...I live in a trailer so every room is small and I have everything packed in tight!! You may wonder why I would have to clear out around my back door, so the guys could drain my hot water tank. You then may ask what my bedroom closet has to do with this mess...well, that's because my hot water tank is impaneled inside my bedroom closet. Convenient, huh?

So four hours and several dollars later, I had the pleasure of putting my kitchen, laundry room, and bedroom back together. I was so excited I could barely contain myself... I did use the opportunity to clean out all of the bakeware I had stuffed under the sink. Seriously, do I need 9 glass baking dishes, 5 of which are the size?! Or 12 cookie sheets?! I didn't think so either. By the time I finished putting everything back together, which of course included sweeping and mopping part of my kitchen floor and my little pantry plus vacuuming my bedroom closet and the surrounding area, it was time to get the munchkin because I had to take him to karate.

Throughout the day I knew I had to take the munchkin to karate and after we would go to dinner with my aunt and every time something went wrong or became much messier than anticipated I just kept telling myself that I could handle it, because tonight I was going to partake in a tall Sunset Passion Colada or two while enjoying Parrot Isle Jumbo Coconut Shrimp at Red Lobster, which I've been craving for a few weeks. Knowing this helped me get through everything yesterday. After karate we headed to Red Lobster just to see that the restaurant was all dark with 3 utility vans outside and a note on the door explaining they were closed due to electrical problems.

I couldn't win yesterday... We ended up going to the China Buffet in town, which was yummy, but since I was so set on my Red Lobster meal nothing was satisfying to me. Of course this caused me to eat more than I should have. And today? Well, now I just sit here waiting for the Sear's Repair Guy to get here to look at that racket machine...opps, I meant washing machine! He should be here between 1pm & 5pm. Of course that means closer to 5pm than 1pm, especially since it is already 2pm...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16

Just getting started: 17, 18

Needs attention: 10, 11

A Runny Day Brings Happiness Later

I wasn't sure how this morning was going to go...A couple days this week I felt like I had lost, but then yesterday with basically eating out the whole darn day I was nervous. Plus yesterday and this morning I was feeling like I had totally gained.

I tried to do my best while I was at lunch with my LSBFF, which I loved every single minute of and which was crazy delicious. While there I feel like I tempted the healthy living Gods by selecting the lunch buffet. I know, what was I thinking?!? But I did good! I think I did very good.

My first trip through I had a plate of salad and instead of eating my dressing I wore most of it. Thank you runny ranch dressing! My second trip through I had some mixed veggies, which were pretty yummy, a delicious pork mini-burrito, some chicken stir-fry, which wasn't so yummy, and some catfish beignets, which were to die for!! I skipped the dirty rice and the meatloaf, which I found was an odd addition to the buffet. The pork mini-burrito and the catfish beignets were so yummy I totally could have went for another plate piled high, but I didn't. I called it done and shockingly by the time we left I was perfectly content with my selections and was in that range of perfectly full, not stuffed.

After getting a chance to chat with my LSBFF over the yummy food I left there and drove out to see my honey. This is where my day got crazy!! By the end of the night or I really should say the middle of our visit we realized that my new black shirt was "bleeding" all over. At first we just thought maybe I was uber cold since my hands had a purple tint to them. It was very cold out, but we were inside, a poorly heated room, but purple hands?! Then all of a sudden I realized that my guy's white shirt was now dirty. Um yeah...it was dirty from being under my arm. My black shirt was just letting its colors run wherever it wanted. His shirt, my new white tank top underneath. It didn't seem to matter. Thank god we were on some nasty brown ol' state owned chairs. I felt horrible. This would be the second shirt of his that he left with my marks on. The first was my makeup left on the shoulder of his red shirt when we said bye a few weeks back. So not only do I apparently not know how to apply my makeup at the age of 34...I can't pick out clothes and keep them from leaving their mark all over.

I guess between my salad dressing and my shirt it was just sort of a runny kind of day!

At the end of our five hours together I left and was starting to feel a little hungry, but more importantly I knew I had to get some serious water in me on my way home or else I was going to get home at 10:30pm and still have over 32 ozs to drink. So in only the second time since my healthy lifestyle re-kicked itself off back on January 3rd I ate fast food. I ran through a McDonald's drive thru and picked up a cheeseburger and 2 bottles of water.

So this morning when I woke feeling like my PJ's were tighter than the last time I wore them I was definitely nervous getting on the scale. Today's stats are...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 315lbs

This week's results: -3.8lbs

Total weight lost: -48lbs

I can't believe it!! I couldn't! I just stood and stared at the number! The lowest I've been in a really, really long time! And well ahead of my goal, according to SparkPeople.com! So, since I have restarted my healthy lifestyle and been hitting the gym I have lost a total of 8.6lbs. I find this amazing. So I have now lost all of the weight I gained over the holidays plus another 1.6lbs. Yay me!! I guess hard work does really pay off!

Now I just need to incorporate that into the other areas of my life.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 16

Just getting started: 6, 7, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18

Needs attention: 10, 11, 15

It Isn't Failing To Plan That Gets Me...It's Just My Planning Fails

How many times must I say it...I fail at planning. Maybe I don't do it right. I'm not sure. But it seems when I plan something it falls through. It just doesn't happen the way it should. Maybe I don't cover all of my bases before I plan. I'm not exactly sure, but planning by me is usually an epic failure.

Don't believe me? Well, here is another example of one of my planning failures... A week or so ago I saw a recipe coming across on Twitter from Nathan Fillon (the actor in Castle) and it sounded pretty good. It was a Mexican Bean Dip recipe and I'm always up for that. So I made my shopping list after checking the fridge and cupboards and away I went Friday night after my weekly visit with my honey. So this morning I decide in addition to studying I also want to cook a few new dishes. Well...I actually decided that yesterday and I started on that with cooking chicken in my crockpot with salsa to use in a different recipe...but I digress... I pulled out all of my ingredients this afternoon to make my bean dip and my black olives are gone.

Yup...my munchkin and my aunt ate them Friday night with their dinner. Ugh... Okay, so I decided to make it without. No big deal and heck, it likely saved on calories too. So I move on from this, make the bean dip, reach for the bag of tortilla chips to eat some. Ummm...hello whoever left just crumbs in the bottom of the bag, but only rolled it down once giving an appearance of an almost full bag of chips...nice job! Luckily I had an unopened package of taco shells to use.

Not all was lost. I was able to eat my newly made bean dip and it was yummy sans black olives or chips. But come on...I don't need help with the failing part of my planning. Ugh....

Consider it done: 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 18

Just getting started: 3, 5, 16, 17, 19, 20

Needs attention: 6, 9, 10

Last night was just crazy. I guess it really started yesterday afternoon. I headed up to see my guy with sunglasses on and no snow in the air. About 30 minutes later...maybe not even that long...I drove into the craziest little snow storm. It was a little unbelievable. But what was more unbelievable was the fact that the car in front of me apparently was taking a stand against driving with their lights on prior to evening hours, because they refused to flip them on. At one point it was snowing so hard that I couldn't even tell if the guy was still in front of me until he actually did hit his brakes. He is lucky I was paying attention!

Of course, as always, there were two cars driving by complete and total jack-holes that thought they could dive in and out amongst the bumper-to-bumper traffic in the midst of this snow storm. I don't get this mentality! If you are behind me and there are tons of cars to my right and in front of me where do you suppose you want me to go when you climb up on my bumper? Do you think I want to be doing 40 on an expressway? It goes against the whole idea of an "express"-way, but I certainly cannot make the cars around me move any faster! And in the future please be warned that if you constantly do that I will be forced to hit my brakes a little sharper than usual and you will fish tail. If you don't believe me, please ask your buddy in the burgundy sports car with the illegally tinted windows...

After our visit I headed back home with a stop by Biggby's for my free super double-dark, sugar-free, reduced-calorie, fat-free hot chocolate with whipped, of course! I love the power of getting that free #13 off from my card. :) hehehe Of course since I have another card that I've been saving up the next one is free too. Yay me!! Then it was off to make my weekly trip to the grocery store. Of course I went to two last night. I guess I didn't feel I had spent enough money at the first one and thought the second one deserved some of my money too... I went to Wal-marts first, because I had a couple speciality items on my list that I knew were cheaper there and I knew that they would have the stuff I needed. As I was leaving there I decided to hit up Meijer in hopes that they would have restocked the fat-free gravy I like, which of course they hadn't. Before I could get out of the parking lot of Wal-marts my car was almost totaled.

Driving along at a snail's pace I was traversing by the rows and some bitch in a little white sedan who failed to realize she needed to clean off the newly accumulated snow from her side windows literally pulled into the side of me. I was over almost halfway through what would be the makeshift intersection there when she pulled out. How I did not hit her or her hit me I will never know. It had to have been either due to my extremely supendious driving ability or the grace of God! I followed that bitch down the lane and hoped and prayed that we would be side to side when we got out to the road to turn our separate ways and I hoped and prayed we would have a red light to wait at, because the closer I got to that light the angrier I got and I had made up my mind I was going to put my window down and tell her, "Bitch, you cut me off again like that again next time I will cut you." (Yes, I was channeling my inner Legally Fabulous! ) Of course we weren't next to one another and of course there was only a green light so she went right with me cussing and swearing while I turned left.

I hit Meijer a few minutes later and was in and out of there in a flash. While loading my two little bags into the backend of my Escape I heard a man's voice. This older gentlemen needed some assistance. After him explaining that I looked like a nice young woman and he had hoped I could help him out and I was the third person he asked before he went into the store and made a complete and total fool of himself he thought he would ask me for help. There may have been "pretty" and "professional looking" tossed in during his little monologue, but I can't remember. I indeed helped the man out (nothing big...just $10 to get 3 gallons of gas) and I did follow him over to the Meijer gas station to make sure he got gas and didn't go in and buy a fifth of booze. He had offered to send me the money on Monday if I gave him a number or an address to get it back to me at, but since I'd rather just be an easy mark for gas money versus a victim in my own home due to some psycho-stranger I just told him to pay it forward. With tears in his eyes and a hand shake to boot, he thanked me.

All in all I figured that my karma scale was tipped in my favor last night when I finally headed home since I didn't actually cut a bitch and I did actually help a stranger out.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 9, 12

Just getting started: 4, 5, 6, 13, 16, 17, 18

Needs attention: 7, 8, 10, 11, 14, 15

Starting A Little Early With My NYE Celebrations

Due to the current circumstances of my guy's location we are unable to celebrate holidays on the days they actually occur, so we usually do them a day or two early. Tonight was our New Year's Eve celebration. :) Tomorrow night I will celebrate New Year's Eve with the munchkin. This way I have all of the important men in my life covered... ;) And I'm able to wish them both a Happy New Year!

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 13, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 8, 9, 11, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18, 24, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35

Needs attention: 14, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 32

Two Gatherings On Christmas Day

Back in the day the second half of Christmas became a birthday party for my guy. So this evening I want to take the time to wish my honey a Happy Birthday!

Honey, I hope you had a wonderful birthday... love you...

Consider it done: 1, 7, 25, 26, 27

Just getting started: 2, 4, 10, 15, 16, 24

Needs attention: 3, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35

Flabbergasted

I am flabbergasted. I'm just in complete and total shock still... This post will certify that I am a judgmental bitch, but I've always known this so here goes...

Scenario #1) My bro & his family...

After seeing my guy tonight and finishing my Christmas shopping I picked up today's mail. In it was our Christmas card from the bro's family. I opened it up and was shocked when I saw wedding pictures from their fake wedding back in June. WTF?!?

Um...hello?! Let it go already. First of all you've been sending Christmas cards out for 3 years as a married couple, have been legally married for over a year and your fake wedding was over 6 months ago. Can you say tacky?!?

Scenario #2) My friend Faye...

I've spoken of her before and some of the situations that I've witnessed from her. A little over a week ago she BBM'd me to tell me how her car was repo'd and how she had closed her door to her boyfriend because he had cussed at her 5 y.o. daughter while screaming at her. So when she told me tonight that she was going to the boyfriend's dad's house for Christmas day while her two kids spent it with her ex-in-laws I assumed that their dad was going to be in town for the day. Needless to say I was flabbergasted when she revealed that she didn't know whether her ex-husband (the kids' dad) was going to be in town or not. Double--WTF?!?

Um...hello, again?!? You are letting your kids go to their grandparents for Christmas day without you?! And possibly without their dad too? Any other day of the year...okay. But Christmas Day?!? WTF?

All I could think when she told me this was all of the parents who cannot spend the day with their kids either due to a custody arrangement/agreement or for some other reason...always not by choice...and who would do anything to spend Christmas Day with their kids. And here she is choosing to go be with the boyfriend who she was ready to be totally done with 8 days ago instead of her kids.

I'm sorry...I don't get it. I spend hours in agony over the hours and days I have to sacrifice with my son to work, go to school, and now to study for the bar. I question whether I'm making good choices when it comes to my son, but I would never give the next two days up with my munchkin for anything. I sure as hell wouldn't have voluntarily done it to spend time with a penis who yelled the "f" word at my child eight days prior....

So yes...I am a judgmental bitch. I think my bro & s.i.l. are tacky beyond words and I think my friend is making parenting decisions that qualify as bad mothering....... Don't get me wrong. I am not perfect and I make bad choices all the time, but seriously people!! WTF?!?

Consider it done: 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 14, 15, 16, 20, 25, 31, 33, 36, 40

Just getting started: 2, 12, 13, 18, 19, 28, 29, 30, 32, 34, 37, 38, 41, 42

Needs attention: 17, 21, 22, 23, 24, 26, 27, 35, 39

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

I want to wish everyone a Happy & Healthy Thanksgiving!!

There is so much for me to be thankful for today...

My Munchkin...He is the light of my life! I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone in my life! I am so proud of him and am so happy to see the little man he is set to become! I am thankful he came in to my life over 8 years ago and am thankful that I get to be his mommy!

My Man...my soulmate, the love of my life. I am so thankful that after knowing him for over 10 years that I am able to love him more today than I did yesterday. I am thankful that he is finally becoming the man I always knew he could. I am thankful that something so horribly tragic could bring him and I back into one another's lives and that each and every day he does something to help continue to improve his life and in turn our life together so one day we may be a family again. I am so proud of him for the changes he makes every day. I am thankful that he decided almost 3 years ago the changes he needed to make in his life in order to one day come home and be a real man, husband, father, and someone that others can respect as much as I have grown to respect in these last few years.

My aunt...I am thankful for all she does to allow me to do what I need to do to get through school, work, and to be me. I am eternally thankful that she is able to give me, my munchkin and my man so much of her time and her support. I am thankful to have such a wonderful aunt.

My family...without them I wouldn't be who I am today, so I am thankful for them even in the crazy times. I am thankful that I get to spend today with some of my family to remind me how fortunate I really am.

My LSBFF...I am thankful that over 4 years ago we met and eventually became fast friends and LSBFFs. She is my rock for school and life. She is always available for me and I am thankful for that. I am thankful that she won't BS me and when I'm being a total unreasonable bitch she will tell me how jacked up I really am.

My friends...I am thankful that I have them in my life...all of them. Even the annoying ones. ;) I am thankful that they make me laugh, think and are in my life today.

Prof. Arrogance...I am thankful I got past the first impression I had of him, because I thought he was a total asshole. I am thankful he has taught me so much and made me believe in myself more and more every day.

School...I am thankful that it is almost over! hehehehehehe

Work...I am thankful I have a job regardless of how annoying it is so much of the time. I am more than thankful that my bosses believe in me and allow me to do my "thang" so I can be successful beyond the 4 walls of my office!

My health...I am thankful for being as healthy as I am, because regardless of the blood checks, the need to lose weight and everything else I have going on with my healthy I am still very healthy and I am thankful for that.

My life...I am thankful for the life I lead every day regardless if it is a great day or a bad day...I still have my life and the ability to do what I want to do with it.

You...I am thankful for every single person who may read this. I may not know you, but I consider each and everyone of you a friend. I am thankful for all the people that this blog has brought into my life.

I hope each and every one of you are thankful for all that you have and all of the things in your life. I am not just thankful for the good in my life, but the bad too, because I learn from all of it...

Thank you & Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 18, 19, 22, 24, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38

Just getting started: 5, 8, 9, 10, 17, 20, 25, 39, 40

Needs attention: 21, 23, 26

Just Another Hump Day Over Here

I really started this week on a good note...well I woke up in a pretty good mood Monday morning and from there it seems to have went down hill and continued that way. Monday morning my guy called me and was in some bad space. It was nothing directed at me, but I knew that there was stuff simmering around him and he was being pulled into the folds of it. The unfortunate thing is there is nothing I can do other than talk with him to help and what's worst is that he can't just pick up and move out of the way of the tidal wave that is rising around him. I didn't dwell on the situation when I was busy with other stuff, but during my down time I often wondered how things were going. And I really wondered when I missed his call at 3:10pm, because I was stuck in court for my Externship.

My Externship wasn't all that great this week. I didn't get to do anything other than follow other people around and observe. This is good, but not great. Then I thought I had my scheduled all jacked up for Tuesday and perfectly planned by 12:45pm Monday afternoon and by 3pm that same afternoon my Tuesday schedule was blown out of the water.

Tuesday I had hoped to observe a trial from 9am until 10:30am when I needed to duck out a little early to attend my financial aid exit interview at school for 11am. Then Monday afternoon I learned that the trial wouldn't get back under way until 10:30am. Just great! So after discussing it with my LSBFF I opted to bail on my Externship for Tuesday morning and went to my exit interview. From there I headed over to my ortho follow-up appointment. Of course I had that scheduled for 1:45pm and had scheduled my munchkin's flu shot appointment (located 35 minutes away) for 2:45pm. So I headed to my ortho early and actually was in and out 17 minutes before my scheduled appointment.

Before my doctor's appointment I was able to make my way to Biggby Coffee and pick up a yummy Double Dark (Sugar-Free, Fat-Free) Hot chocolate and after my appointment I even had enough time to swing over to Buddy's Pizza for my uber-yummy family-size Antipasto Salad with their delicious ranch dressing! Then off to get the munchkin from school with enough time to fill out the paperwork to drop off his "stomach pills" (a/k/a Pepto-Bismal chewable tablets). Then we went to his doctor's and upon his discovering he would be getting a shot everything became a mess. I remember lots of tears, yelling, screaming, some "I hate you Mommy...You lied to me." statements, a few slaps at my hands as if he could just swat me away like a fly. And all of this was pre-shot!

Some how I got suckered into getting him a prize for handling the situation so well. After the shot I even remarked to the doctor that "this" (carrying on) was the reason why we couldn't do this at Walgreen's! Everyone except the munchkin found this funny. After picking up his "prize" we headed home, but only for the munchkin to point out that at some point, on some road I had a rock take a chunk out of my new windshield. Damn!

After having to call my wonderful insurance agent and then the glass repair place, plus fixing dinner I was worn out. I think the emotional toll of finding out that the tidal wave did scoop up my guy in the mix even though he was okay as a result that day didn't help either. The munchkin told me to take a nap, because I was so sleepy. Or it was maybe because he wanted both the TV and the computer for himself! I laid down at 6:30pm with only a few interruptions from my munchkin and my ringing phone. At 8pm my munchkin joined me in my bed. We finally fell back asleep sometime after 10pm and before I knew it I was waking to Hump Day!

With all of these things going crazy, feeling exhausted, and feeling crabby as could be I have experienced some heavy handed emotional eating. I bitched at a lot of people. There was tons of eye rolling and a desire to scratch someone's eyeballs out. It all descended on me when I got in my car tonight to drive home and had an overwhelming desire to sit in my car, in the dark parking lot, in the big city and instead of driving home crying my eyes out. I didn't do this, but I really wanted to. So instead I called up the aunt and met her and the munchkin for a late dinner. More emotional eating...go figure!

I really haven't gotten much else accomplished this week so far and I keep thinking about my streak and whether I'm throwing it away by the hour. I'm hoping tomorrow I will be in some better mental space, out of the eating phase and I can get tons done in addition to working on keeping that streak alive...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21, 25, 26, 27, 28

Just getting started: 7, 9, 10, 29, 30

Needs attention: 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, 20, 22, 23, 24, 31, 32

Yes, I Have An Addiction...To Recipes

I love recipes. I think I have a bit of an addiction to them. I collect them and have an entire cupboard filled with them! I have a secret plan...er...hope that when my guy comes home he will type up and organize all my recipes. I've been told by some (yes Janice I'm calling you out! Ha!) to keep on dreaming! LOL But there is a downfall with my obsession. I rarely ever use any of the recipes I've collected. I fix the same things time after time. My other downfall...I suck at cooking!

From time to time I watch Top Chef and often think maybe I should take a cooking class, because I must confess that I am someone who can screw up boiling water. But every now and then I will keep a recipe out, add all the ingredients to my list of grocery shopping and maybe...just maybe I'll eventually get around to making that recipe.

Back in August I came across a recipe in an email I received from Hungry Girl. I added the ingredients to my shopping list and since I was going to have to throw out the crab I had bought if I didn't use it by this Thursday I decided to make the recipe today. So after doing my weekly weigh-in (see stats below) I whipped up HG's Ab-Fab Artichoke Crab Dip. It was very yummy. I wasn't so sure when I was cutting up the artichokes, but it turned out really good. It is definitely yummier the hotter you can make it (heat hot, not spicy hot) and eat it. So one more recipe goes back into the cupboard but this time it was actually made and passed the j'lynn's taste test! (Psst...if you want the recipe just click on the link above and you'll have it!)

Today's stats...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 322.6lbs

This week's results: -3.4lbs

Total weight lost: -40.4lbs

Remember last week when I was all "I have to get back to basics"? Well, I didn't completely get back to basics every day, but I did do a decent job with trying to get back in the healthy groove and it obviously really paid off! I didn't workout due to my mental health crisis and my wrist situation, but I tried to do the best I could. I'm hoping to keep going with my momentum this week and keep kicking butt so I can finally crack the two mental stumbling blocks I apparently have...getting out of the 320's for good & losing over 50lbs. Since I'm feeling better mentally these days I think it will be easier. Plus Mother-Nature finally left a couple days ago and that always makes life better!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 13, 14, 15, 16, 20, 23

Just getting started: 5, 11, 18, 21, 22

Needs attention: 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 17, 19, 24, 25, 26

Losing Time While On A Roller Coaster

The last several days I definitely have been on a roller coaster in my life and have been experiencing some crazy things. Let me reflect for a few moments here...

Thursday night I went to Sam's Club and did some shopping. A lot of times in the morning I don't have time to eat anything and end up running through the drive through at Burger King or McDonald's and ordering a small diet coke and two sausage patties. I love me some sausage! So while I was at Sam's Club I saw this big box of Turkey Sausage Patties, individually wrapped. I was so excited, because this would be so much more cost effective and healthy for me! My aunt helped me haul our groceries in and we went about the rest of our business that night. The munchkin went to bed, my aunt went home and while I was getting a few things done before I went to bed I heard a cough come out of the munchkin's bedroom. I instantly thought to myself, "Oh...that's not good."

It was only one cough and the munchkin remained asleep so I finished what I was doing and made my way to bed. It was around 2am. At 3:30am the munchkin climbed into my bed and asked me to rub his back. He felt warm to me, but my son loves to wrap up in multiple blankets while he is sleeping and it isn't out of character for him to feel like he was in an oven when he comes out of a bed. We both feel back asleep. My cell phone alarm went off, I stood up and looked at my cell which read 5:40am Friday morning...the next thing I remember was walking into my bathroom, looking at my alarm clock which read 7:12am. Um, hello?!? I just lost an hour and a half. WTF?!? I must have went back to bed and have no memory of it. Great! The munchkin woke up too and was complaining how he didn't feel good. I checked his temperature and it was 101.6. Talk about changing the momentum of my weekend!

Since I took both Monday and Tuesday off from my life this week I really couldn't afford taking the day off again. I called my aunt to see if she could help and she came right out. Once she arrived and we had put a plan of action into place I told her that the night before when I crawled into bed I thought about my Turkey Sausage Patties and the fact that I didn't see them when I was hauling my groceries in and assumed she had brought them in on one of her trips and put them in the freezer. She, of course, had no idea what I was talking about and indicated she didn't haul them in either. I began to wonder what else I was going to lose since it appeared that so far that morning I had lost 1.5 hours and now an entire box of Turkey Sausage Patties!?! Since we put everything in the pantry on the washer so I could rearrange my shelves to fit everything in over the weekend. She then uncovered the box of Turkey Sausage Patties that she carried in the night before. In the garbage they went... She felt horrible and apologized several times because she didn't put it in the freezer. I told her that I was equally to blame since I should have double checked since I was the one that knew I had bought things that needed to be put in the freezer. I'm totally bummed though...

Due to the munchkin being home sick I called and canceled my new cleaning lady, which worked out well because her father-in-law was in the hospital just being diagnosed with Leukemia. My aunt took the munchkin to the doctor and he was diagnosed with strep throat. Fun, fun, fun... The munchkin was feeling a little better later in the day, so I opted to still go and see my guy after work, but before I could get there I had to swing by the Defender's Office, drop off my time sheet for the week before and pick up the day sheet for Monday. Then I was off to see my guy.

After a great visit, I was totally exhausted, but opted to still do the rest of my weekly grocery shopping. When I finally got home around 11pm last night I made sure I put away all of my perishable foods away, but left everything else out to be taken care of in the morning. I knew I had tons of errands to run Saturday morning so I set my alarm for 6:20am so I could get things done. I had a plan of attack and was going to be totally ready to hit the ground running. Well things didn't work out that way since I didn't get out of the bed until 7:50am. Lost another 1.5 hours this morning. This has became crazy and totally unacceptable!! Time to grow up j'lynn and get your shit together! Come on already! Ugh.... I quickly got myself ready, took off to get my oil changed and tires rotated, then off to the salon to get my highlights done and a hair cut. I was hoping to get my allergy shot in between these two errands, but thanks to my inability to get my ass out of bed this had to be moved to later in my morning.

While at the salon one of the new assistants started talking about how she and her 2 kids were looking for a place to live. They had just moved from up-north and she was in the midst of getting a divorce. I spout off how I have a 3 bedroom, 2 bath trailer she can buy. Her eyes totally lit up! That is exactly what she is looking for! I instantly got chills. She said she was going to drive by after work. She has a friend who will be moving with her, so she wants her to look at it too. Thinking or maybe hoping she would want to come in and look at it today I knew I was in trouble cleaning wise! It had been 3 weeks since my cleaning lady had been in and I know she isn't available for emergency calls so I made the call to my former cleaning lady and she came down and did the job for me! I was so appreciative that she was able to help me out!

While she was cleaning I finished up at the salon and finished my errands. I think I was home 10 minutes with my former cleaning lady when the potential buyer drove by. She didn't stop and come in though. Maybe she thought I had company and didn't want to intrude. I don't know. I was really hoping she would come in this afternoon fall in love with my house and this would actually be happening. It would certainly be a huge boost to me if this could happen. Please say an extra prayer for me guys...because this would be so great if this would happen for us!!!

After a little nap this afternoon I picked up some dinner, made my way to my aunt's and after chowing on a good steak we headed up to our annual trip back in time for Halloween. The munchkin was not able to make his last game of the fall season this morning and had to miss the trip to McDonald's with his team, because of being sick. He was totally bummed. He asked every hour if he could still go tonight. Since he was no longer contagious we opted to go and he had a pretty good time. You could tell he was still feeling punky though.

Even though I haven't accomplished as much this weekend as I wanted it has been one helluva roller coaster ride for the last couple of days. Now if only I could either recover those 3 hours I've lost in the last two days or figure out how to get my ass out of bed on time I might enjoy this ride a little more these days.

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 13, 14, 15, 16, 20

Just getting started: 11, 18, 21, 22

Needs attention: 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 17, 19, 23, 24, 25, 26

I Have To Get Back To Basics

This weekend I was pretty productive, but on all the wrong things... I should have focused more on my homework and studying for my two midterms scheduled for tomorrow, but I didn't. Now I just have to deal with that. I have no one to blame other than myself. So I will do my best in the next 24 hours and then deal with the consequences of that when it comes. I can't change it and can only control the present and change for the future.

I had different plans for this weekend, but it didn't turn out the way I had hoped. Friday night after going to see my guy and grocery shopping I came home and got a few things done before I realized it was already 3am and made myself to go to bed. I had tons of errands that I needed to run Saturday morning and the majority of them had to be done before 1pm, so I set the alarm in my bathroom to get up at 9am. Of course I forgot to turn it on. Opps! Then I went to bed, started to catch up on Twitter and the next thing I knew I had something under me vibrating and it was light outside. I was a little disorientated before I realized that it was my phone under me in the bed vibrating. I passed out catching up on Twitter and forgot to switch off from vibrate and also didn't set that alarm either. It was almost 11am. Opps!!

I rushed around and got all of my errands done before places closed on me except getting my oil changed, but that really wasn't necessary and I have enough miles to go in my 5,000 miles to make it to next weekend with no problem, so it was all good! I made my way back to the house by about 2:30pm. I had hoped to be home much earlier so I could get lots more done, which would let me work on drafting my flashcards for my MBE midterm while watching the Alabama football game starting at 3:30pm. Well, that didn't happen. I watched the game and did laundry while watching the game and got a few other things done, of course none of that was school related.

After Alabama lost (which was heartbreaking for both my man and I) I continued to work on getting a few things done and then my former neighbor called me late last night and chatted my ear off for almost 2 hours. Again it was another late night and I went to bed at 4:00am. I didn't really want to go to bed, because I was feeling motivation to get things done, but I made myself go. This of course lead to me not getting up until 11:40am this morning, which put me behind. I had no desire to work on homework so instead I worked on my bar application and a few other things until almost 7pm. Then I started working on homework, so I've made very little progress in that area and now I'm out of time, so I'm hopeful that tomorrow I'll go to court in the morning for my Externship and then get a few hours of studying in before I take my tests.

I think my main problem with this semester is that I'm just not mentally ready to start to even think about preparing for the bar let alone having to do it for classes. Combine that with my senioritis and I'm having issues, but I need to get it together! I think I need to take myself back to basics. I haven't felt this mentally blocked with school since my 2L year, so I need to really get my shit together. I only really have about 8 weeks of school left so I now is the time to get it together! I will take my midterms tomorrow and move on...hopefully as a better student to finish on a high note, not feeling like a schmuck!

The other area of my life that I have to get back to basics is my battle of the bulge. I knew today's weigh in was going to be horrible. Today's stats...

Starting weight (7/8/09): 363lbs

Current weight: 326lbs

This week's results: +6lbs

Total weight lost: -37lbs

I ate like crap last week and ate out a lot and when I ate out I ate a lot! So I need to get back to basics and take control back. I have no choice. What I'm doing is stupid. I'm tired of playing this back and forth game. What am I doing other than wasting time and constantly getting upset with myself? I sure as hell am not making myself feel good with this constant gain one week, lose the next, gain the following week, back and forth constantly. So I'm getting back to basics...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 14, 15, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Just getting started: 9, 10, 11, 32

Needs attention: 12, 16, 17, 18, 24, 25

Is My Two-Day Headache The Cause For My Lack Of Motivation?

I had scheduled yesterday off from work since I had my annual eye appointment to get my eyes dilated, which I don't handle well for some reason. I suspect this is because I'm prone to ocular migraines. Knowing this I also knew that I needed to get my other errands ran before my 10:45am appointment.

Once I completed my errands and finished my doctor's appointment I came home with a headache. All I really wanted to do was take a nap and had every intention of making this happen, but my plan didn't happen. Instead I pushed through my crazy eye situation and drafted my weekly journal entry for my externship after which I headed up to see my guy. The entire time I had a dull headache, which has bleed over to today.

Even though I got up at 8:40am this morning I feel like I've accomplished nothing. I meant to go to the post office before they closed this morning and I forgot. I had planned on doing my grocery shopping tonight after I took my aunt and uncle to dinner, where I begged for them to help me with the fees for taking the bar, but it was cold and rainy plus I still had my headache so I opted to come home. I've gotten a few things done tonight, but not a lot of things, which totally sucks...

I enter every weekend hoping to get so much done, but it doesn't seem to happen. I think maybe my constant running during the week just wears me out so much that I have no motivation to get stuff done Saturday and Sunday. Or maybe it is because I have so much to do it blocks me from getting motivated. Maybe I'm just hitting senior-itis. Regardless of the reasons why, I know is it has got to change. Of course I still have my headache tonight and now my stomach is feeling a little bubbly too. Go figure...

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 20, 21, 22, 32

Just getting started: 8, 15, 18, 19, 25

Needs attention: 5, 6, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 23, 24, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Sons of Anarchy Has Returned!!

I'm so excited. Tonight the Sons of Anarchy returned!! This has became my all time favorite show on TV! Both my guy & I have been waiting for its return since last year!! I am madly in love with the main character, Jax Teller! Daym that man is fine and the boy can strut! Needless to say, Charlie Hunnam is on my Top Five! ;) Don't worry...my guy is well aware of my obsession and I have no one other than him to thank for it! Hehehehe

Today was the munchkin's first day back to school. He didn't want to go. He was nervous and so was I. All we've heard is how his new teacher is a quack! Just great! Somehow we always end up with a quack for a teacher. How does that happen?!? He ended up having a great day, but did end up with his name on the board on the first day of school. Of course!

Consider it done: 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 16, 18, 21, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32

Just getting started: 4, 13, 14, 15, 20, 33, 34

Needs attention: 12, 17, 19, 22