I saw something today that made me start to think about parenting and even more so about my parents and how I was parented as a child...
I think I always wanted that fantasy family. Maybe we all did... You know, like the Huxtable's or the Keaton's. (Yes, I'm showing my age!) Not always perfect, but always together. My family is far from perfect and not usually together either. I don't know what it is...is it me? Is it them? Is it the way it is suppose to be?
I've been watching the show Parenthood, which probably brought some of this on. Then a conversation I had after Tuesday night's class with The Preacher's Son reenforced some of these feelings, but then today as I was waiting for my order in the McDonald's drive-thru (not planned, but my blood sugar was dropping and I was on my way to my pampering appointment~~No, seriously!) I saw a mom and daughter team going into my salon, together. Can you believe I've never had that? Never! My mom and I have never went for a girl's day. Isn't that odd? I think it is! Don't you? Do you know what else I think is odd? I've never been shopping with my mom. Never! Don't you find that odd too?
I always wanted to have that "Daddy's Girl" relationship with my dad even though he isn't really my dad. I don't know why I wanted that nor am I sure I wanted it with who my dad is. Maybe the fact that my real dad was never in my life contributed to my desire to have that special relationship with my dad. I don't know. Maybe it was this week's episode of Parenthood where Peter Krause's character went for a bike ride with his daughter on the show played by Sarah Ramos. I have no memory of doing something that was just me and my dad. I cannot even remember a time that I was ever even alone with my dad. I think this too is odd.
As you are probably well aware, especially if you have read this blog for any period of time, I have my own issues with parenting and I am in no way perfect. When things like this, this and this happen with my munchkin I question my ability to parent and it really makes me rethink the plan to have more kids in the future...
I guess I can only hope and pray that my son won't be sitting in front of his computer when he is 33 years old after watching a mom & son bonding moment of someone else thinking about how he was parented and realizing how much we didn't measure up to his family expectations...
Just getting started: 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 17, 18, 19, 20, 24, 27
Needs attention: 5, 8, 9, 10, 14, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 28, 29, 30
You're being the best mom you can, I am quite sure of that. And making the most of what you are able to do.
ReplyDeleteI have another friend she is raising 2 boys alone after a nasty divorce from her ex. She also went back to college fulltime after said split and graduated with honors top of her class!!
But in the midst of College and raising 2 school aged boys she had a night of passion a one night stand with a guy (who happened to be married, she didn't know that at the time) and she ended up pregnant. My friend gave up her daughter for adoption (she always wanted a little girl) to make sure she had the life that my friend could never give her. Atleast in her head she thinks she could never give her that life.
So as a parent you do things for your children and make sacrifices. None of it is right or wrong its just what happens.
I am sure my father beats himself up (or use to) over how he raised me (single father) but he sees me now and he knows he did right by me and I tell you, sweety I wouldn't change my life with my father for anything!!
You're a wonderful mother!! And if I have to text you daily and tell you that I will!!!
Blaez...don't tell your guy, but I think I love you! ;) Thank you my friend. You are awesome. Thank you, thank you, thank you...
ReplyDeleteawe! your gonna make me weepy! thank you!
ReplyDeleteyou're awesome too! and never forget that!!
Thanks Blaez! :) I'll try to not forget it. Now don't get all weepy on me here! Ha-ha
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