...Sunday is the hardest day of the week

I almost always hate Sundays. They bring sadness almost every week. The only time that they don't is when I have Monday off! LOL Sundays are even worse when I'm back in school because not only does it signify going back to work, but it also signifies going back to class. But the worst Sunday now is the Sunday when I have to say goodbye to my man...

This past Sunday I woke up later than I wanted and I had to make a stop to Walgreens for my allergy pills before I went for my visit, so I rushed and got ready and raced off to breakfast. I ran thru Walgreens to get my pills and then raced to see my guy. I made up enough time that I arrived at the same time I did the morning before. This time I wasn't the first one in. I saw a woman walking across the street and the parking lot making her way in to the prison. I fought hard to make it to the door before she did, but I was about 6 feet behind her. I thought it was still okay, because I would be the 2nd person in. Boy...was I wrong! I was shocked when I walked in to the waiting room and saw 3 other people already in there. I was visitor #5. My anxiety had definitely increased!

Somehow it all worked out because I was the second person called in to the visiting room. We were able to secure seats next to a fan in the back and begin our visit! It was crazy hot again, so hot that the CO finally opened the windows, which are only 1 foot by 2 foot. In the afternoon while we were playing cards my back and legs were starting to cramp up so I moved my chair from being parallel to his chair to almost facing him. In order to accommodate the lack of space my man's left knee was between my two knees. They overlapped by less than 3 inches. There was nothing sexual about it and nothing devious either, but the CO came over and yelled at us to separate and for me to move my chair back to facing her instead of my man. I felt like a schmuck! I was already emotional and this wasn't helping matters... We weren't doing anything wrong! We weren't touching one another in an inappropriate manner, we weren't passing contraband...we were playing uno and I was trying to relieve some of the cramps in my back and legs! Ugh....

I fought back tears the majority of the day and with my guy telling me how he never wants to do anything to ever lose me again was not helping my emotional roller coaster either. But I held it together and when the CO called time at 7:50pm I was proud of myself and wondered if I could make it through our goodbye without tears. When we embraced and kissed, I stopped thinking, hearing, everything except feeling. It was one of those kisses/makeout sessions that always leads to more (wink, wink), so it stirred up so many things inside me. And when it finally ended and we hugged again and my man whispered to me that I had done good and he was so proud of me, the tears started and I couldn't get them to stop...I stole 4 more quick kisses (totally against the rules of one kiss and one hug at the start of a visit and one each at the end of the visit) and made my way to the door. I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to turn around and wave goodbye to my man before I walked through the second set of doors. It was so bad that when I had to show my hand to the CO in the control room and hand him my paper to be scanned I choked out a "thank you" to him on a bunch more tears.

I didn't want to walk through the next set of doors without seeing my guy, so I mentally gave myself a slap in the face, pulled it together and turned around to mouth, "I love you" and blow him a kiss and give him a wave bye before I walked through that second set of doors. Like I said, Sunday is the hardest day of the week!